Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 8205. page
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Who /mischief/ here?
>drive car with a bumper sticker that reads "This car climbed mt. Washington"
>the car never climbed Mt Washington
>go to McDonalds
>order filet o fish
>mcdonalds workers have to fry a paddy just for me
>See thread on 4chan with two posters furiously arguing
>Pretend to be one of the guys and say I give up and don't want to argue anymore
>get a Christmas card wishing me a happy christmas
>I have a miserable Christmas
How old was your mother when she gave birth to you?
How did it affect your upbringing?
>>24553220
27. What really screwed me up was the lack of my father in my life.
40
I turned out some kind of retarded, but it's hard to say if that's nature or nurture.
my mother was 19, and she still acts like a teenager now. she cheated on my dad with a guy younger than me
how does /r9k feel about this?
>>24553152
Femanon*
Originalcomment
"literally who: the person"
Post her feminine cock
How many hours do you spend on imageboards daily?
Are you afraid, robots?
6ish?
not proud.
i'm on 4chan literally all day
always have a window open
Why aren't you sucking yourself off right now?
I would be if I could be
My neck doesn't go down far enough.
LOOK AT WHAT YOU MADE ME LOOK UP
brit friday edition
What age did you lose your virginity?
17 here, I was a bit of a late bloomer. Even now at 25 I've only slept with a handful of girls.
>>24552509
21
original fag
>>24552491
17 here for me too. Came close at 16 with my first gf but only ever got a gf from here.
Only OG robots would have one of these
A true robot wouldn't need it to have wheels
>>24552351
imagine being in inside that and it tips over and the side with the door is against the floor
>>24552351
>Putting electronic equitment
>In a closed off box
>One that has no airflow and barely any leg room
Enjoy your electronics frying themselves to death.
>those things you remember that make you cringe to this fucking day
it hurts
>>24552100
I know, anon. I remember shit from grade school 17 years ago that makes me want to punch myself in the face.
Dear anon, i find this post highly disturbing. I am deeply annoyed that you would remind me of such memories. For instance the night i tried to fuck my friend in the asshole. It wasn't a great fit, but the thing that still puzzles me is how i am not gay.
no pls
i don't wanna remember
>gf of two years wants to have a mmf threesome
>I say ok since we had a mff threesome a few months ago
>she chooses the guy and sets the date
>the next day we are all in her room undressing
>I notice his penis is the same length as mine but almost 2 inches thicker
>first she sucks me off, but I notice she only sucks my head
>when she starts to give the other guy a blowjob she sticks it all the way in her mouth
>eventually it escalates to her gagging on his dick, and he has his hands on her head
>earlier we had agreed that I got to fuck her first
>so I start fucking her, but she just kind of lays there and doesn't make any noise
>after a couple minutes she says it's the other guys turn
>he gets on top of her
>his penis is hard to get in at first
>she wriggles around uncontrollably and makes this noise I've never heard her make before
>she's looking directly into his eyes and is thrusting into his dick
>this goes on for a few minutes and she starts to make a wimpering sound
>I ask for my turn but they ignore me
>she starts moaning louder
>I ask them to stop and push on the guy
>instead of stopping she wraps her legs around the guy
>this makes it impossible for me to push him off of her
>she is moaning and I can hear her say cum in me to the guy
>she says it louder and louder until she's practically screaming it
>he cums in her and I'm pretty sure she had a massive orgasm becuase she was trembling very hard afterwards
>it's been two days since this and we haven't had sex, but I know she hasn't had sex with him anymore
Lol kek detected
>>24552048
ask for a mff threesome again and do the same towards the other female
>>24552048
> but I know she hasn't had sex with him anymore
she is, you c uck
Reminder that you cannot be a robot if you live in a college dorm
>he goes to uni
>he thinks he's a robot
>>24551843
Unless you're one of those autismos that goes to Uni from home, or has their own place.
What if I don't leave my room and have never even seen another person from the dorm?
>boss says "you need to move faster"
How do you respond?
>>24551213
Do you want it done quickly or done right?
>>24551213
What /r9k/ will say:
>You need to suck my dick faster"
What /r9k/ would really say:
>Y-yeah, s-s-sorry boss (under breath: Oh god I'm so fired)
"Or else what?"
>playing minecraft
>pause game to cook some ramen
>open package, stir and cook the broth for about 6 minutes
>come back after pouring it
>realize I've actually just pressed E instead of escape
>I've been standing idle with my inventory open this whole time
>I'm dead
>items are gone
>full stacks of iron and coal I just mined are gone
>quit and create a new world
>never delete the one I quit on because I don't want my progress erased
Anyone else know this feel?
No, you fucking manchild loser.
I had one minecraft world I really liked, before they streamlined the world generator and it had wild stuff like sky high water geysers and huge cliffs and flying islands and all sorts of cool shit.
Somehow my file got erased and I lost so much progress like my flying castle and all my different inhabited islands and my hell temple and shit and every time I fire up minecraft again I can never get a world even half as cool and quit playing.
If I could get that file back or something close to it I'm sure I could recapture the spark but no matter how many worlds I try to make they are flat, boring and green with no magic to them.
>>24551172
>not taking the 10 seconds to mine three blocks down and sealing the top with a single block
>>24550226
Become Chad
>tfw have a cool family so I got tons of illegal hormone injections to make me 6'1 instead of my predicted 5'5
Got a good jaw too, hunter eyes, dense eyebrows and boxed hairline
Pretty happy
>>24550226
My dog was the runt of the litter. He was so much smaller than his brothers and sisters. They were always beating him up and kept him away from the teat. If he was in the wild something would have killed him quickly. If he did live no other dog would want to breed with him.
Nature is cruel. I'm not mad that that's the way it is, I'm mad because I was told life is fair. You have to realize you're not a Chad and will never be. The best you can do is kill yourself and hope you restart as one.
>>24550267
too late for me, I'm 21 and a manlet and black on top of that
>>24550226
Become Chad by getting cosmetic surgery to get a Chad-tier jaw and cheekbones
I'm the Anon from yesterday who forced himself to read 2 Chapters of Journey to the West. I intend to read at least 5, or even 10 more today. Another Robot said he was proud of me for actually reading. So in this Thread, I dare you to FORCE yourself to read, play, or watch whatever it is you've been putting off. You'll feel better afterwards, believe me. You can do it, Anon! Sun Wukong believes in you!
I'm proud of you. But I'm not going to read. Just another night of drinking and listening to plebmusic.
>>24550556
Well, thanks for the bump.
I fucking love Journey to the West, hope you're enjoying it.
>tfw no chubby nurse gf
>>24549198
look away m8s
that girls not a real nurse shes just wearing a nurse Halloween costume.
>>24549240
Fuck, I think you might be right
