Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 5458. page
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>tfw you fell in love with a girl from the internet again
>tfw she will never love you
>tfw you think about her all the time
>tfw the only bright moments in your life are skyping with her
>falls in love with a SJW cunt
why? she looks like a retarded 13 year old, and probably has a similar personality
who here monster?
>wake up
>ask for tendies
>mom locked herself in her room again
>threaten her to turn the house on fire if she doesnt open the door
>start breaking shit and making a mess while she cries
>suddenly i hear someone open the door and run up the stairs all the way to me
>its my uncle, he is coming to beat me up
>push uncle with all my weight
>tell him if he touches me again i will push him down the stairs and jump on him until he stops moving
>he looks me with nothing but disgust
>mom yells if i dont go to my room she will call the cops
>wathever
>go into room have to be carefull with all the broken glass and trash on the floor
>hear mom crying and uncle swearing
>they leave and mom doesnt come back home in 3 days
>thats 3 days without food
>thank god she didnt take the router
>then again maybe she was too scared
it wasntr about tendies tho, i dont even remember what it was about
>>26394567
i ave done horrible things in my life my friend there is no question about it
why do you do that anon?
>going to rich peoples school
>this poor kid on a scolarship everyone makes fun of gets attached to me
>come back from the bathroom and im mising some stuff
>acuse him of stealing from me
>he gets sad and tells me he wouldnt
>yell at him in front of whole class he is poor, that its not my fault his dad is poor, that he doesnt belong here and he should stop bothering showing up
>he runs away crying
>Want to hear the one about the femanon?Never mind, she'll tell you herself.
>What does a femanon call unlubricated anal rape after being slapped and choked?Foreplay.
>Why did the femanon join the army?"ATTENTION!"
>How do you make a femanon fall in love with you?Not by spamming her with replies, you whiteknighting betacuck.
>What's a femanon's favourite drink?Vodka martini with a handful of painkillers.
I'm just kidding...It's a Sex on the Beach with Chad.
But enough about femanons, how are you wagies doing tonight? You know, I was recently accused of being lazy by a wagecuck. The nerve of that guy! I said to him,"Me lazy?! You don't even start the day till 5pm!"
Yeah, wagecucks can be pretty rude. The other day, for example, I was walking down the street and I asked some wagie, "Excuse me, have you got the time?" He just looked at me confused and kept walking. Then it hit me...Wagecucks don't have any time!
>Apparently BMW have had to recall their limited edition 'wagecuck' line of cars...It turns out many of them didn't even have brakes.
>What's the difference between an /r9k/ robot and an actual robot?One has no real self-awareness and is incapable of proper human interaction. The other is a robot.
>>26394276
kek nice jokes
too bad i'm actually a wageslave, and don't own a bmw
>Apparently BMW have had to recall their limited edition 'wagecuck' line of cars...
>It turns out many of them didn't even have brakes.
neet comedian does it again! Literally the bane of wagecucks and fembots alike.
>>26394276
Wooooohoooo! THIS GUY IS A RIOT!
Posting fight from earlier. I'm posting this for the entertainment of robots.
short recap on story:
>black kid disrespects me in front of girl
>get up, I've had enough punch him in the face
>pretty much black out can only remember bits, can't control my body
>might look like I'm throwing autism punches at first but I have a mechanical pencil in my hand and I'm stabbing him in the face
>teacher keeps pushing and holding me
>anime girl gets up get confused look away for a split second and I get tackled
>slam into lockers he doesn't get any punches on me
>before he can get any punches I grab the pencil and stab his face repeatedly
>he falls back, big ass security guard is basically sitting on me
>punch the teacher on accident
>fight gets broken up
We both got a 10 day suspension. I came out with a fat lip and he has to go get stitches for his head/face injuries. I don't really care to black out my face since you can't see much of it due to long hair.
This thread is just to get a laugh out of. I'm welcome to any tips as well but when that adrenaline kicked in I couldn't control my body and all the practice I was doing for this scenario flew out the window.
>>26393631
Its good you did this. Stand up.
under age b&
robot get off my dick
Brety good for a robot I'd say. Are you the kid who posted about maybe getting jumped by multiple other asshats? Glad it didn't happen.
https://youtu.be/o_djTy3G0pg
why does swapping gives a 66% chance not sit right with me
there HAS to be more to this
what is missing
>>26393401
How does it feel to be retarded?
>>26393401
>what is missing
ur brain lmaooooo
>>26393555
my iq is 127
so i have no idea
Curious to know if there are any fembots who have experimented with their dogs.
>>26393392
>tfw no dogslut gf
im more into horses
When I was 12 I didn't really know about sex much. My friend had two dogs. I started to rub their penises because I saw that somewhere. Then semen came up. The next time I undressed and let them lick my vagina because they didn't really get hard.
I feel so ashamed that I did that. I'm disgusted by sex.
>you will never, literally never, know what this feels like
>>26393076
feeling another guy's dick is gay desu
>>26393076
I'm over it
It's unfortunate, but there's no need to worry incessantly about it
>you will never last literally two seconds, leaving the woman utterly disappointed and disgusted
I don't see a problem here.
how do you deal with your anger /r9k/?
i fap to rape hentai
Fuck myself in the ass.
Beat up gays
He's right, you know.botbloxx
He's wrong, studies disprove and destroy one guy comparing a sentient species to any nutritious substance that people or animals eat or drink or that plants absorb in order to maintain life and growth.
Poor bait desu.
I wouldn't enjoy any cereal that has has 37 other dicks in it. Mostly because a cereal that treats getting dick so callously is likely not a caliber cereal.
>>26390147
>st-studies have shown!
yeah? link 'em faggot
Has anybody here ever tried on a condom? I decided I would try jacking off with a condom, so I bought a pack of normal Trojans but they were way too big. Just straight of slipped off, even when I used my fleshlight, which has a light grip. So I searched online, bought the smallest condoms I could and tried them on today. Still too fucking big, and slowly tugs off when I use it.
I discovered they don't legally sell condoms skinny enough for me to properly wear.
> mfw I thought my dick was was why I'm a virgin but it's actually because even if I get my pants off, no condoms will fit my dick.
Quarter, small condom, regular condom for reference.
>>26389611
>Using condoms
Just cum outside and be done with it
what's your circumference?
mineperse123
Funny, I did the same thing, but it was too small.
>"Sorry Anon. I mean I was a little curious about you at first, I'll admit that. But if you don't even have enough confidence or even decency to say hi to me in passing once in a while then how do you expect me to want to be around you? You're a real unpleasant person you know. I hate to say that but it's true, and I really think it's good for your sake that someone tells you that. Can't you see that everyone around you is walking on eggshells when you're around because of how difficult you are to be around? I don't see how you think any girl is going to want to waste their time around someone like you. You're an emotional drain on everybody you meet, and I'm just not into guys who feel miserable every second of their live. You have nothing to offer me, sorry."
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QvNAHBI1V4o]
Book is beta poison
looks like Dog Sothoth
I wonder what she's doing now, probably sucking cocks for heroin
>>26388721
Post different music than yesterday atleast
Who else here is on their way to wizardom?
how far gone are you?
>>26387987
i-is it too late for me
>>26387987
this test probably needs to be remade by someone that isnt an edgy drug addicted teen. >>26388106
also you missed the bonus round
>>26387987
seems about right I guess, doesn't change the fact I'm a virgin
I love Nico and I can't help it.
Yep, she did a great job on that Velvet Underground album
Out of all the idols I choose to love Rin.
Because I love her the most.
>>26386453
it's soul crushing knowing she doesn't reciprocate the feelings
Can we post qt girls? Not just any qt girls. Not the ones you just want to fuck, but ones who's pics you stare at, entranced. Where you look at them and imagine relationships with, or even just friendships, and who incite feelings of protectiveness in you?
>>26386040
Rei best grill
>inb4 gross disgusting etc
she brings me joy
>>26386058
>>26386040
i have never seen a more disgusting thread like this in my life
>>26386085
well strap in faggot
it gets betterleave then
I will reply to anyone, let's talk about anything, also talk between each other too, no post will remain without a reply in this thread.
>>26395114
I miss the Autumn months. Winter is bland.
>>26395247
I read that as I miss the autism months.
I just stopped crying 5 minutes ago thinking about how lonely I am.
Always get told it gets better. Well it doesn't. My life has been on a downward spiral for about 4 years at this point.
