Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 423. page
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You meet a girl and she's
>White
>8 inches shorter than you
>Likes the same anime and videogames as you do
>Has the same taste in music as you
>Very feminine, loves to cook, nurturing, wears dresses a lot
>Kissless virgin but will be completely submissive to you
>Extremely shy and introverted, prefers staying in
HoweverShe is 50 lbs overweight.
Do you still go out with her?
>>29837566
as long as she is clean and doesn't smell
but chubby girls are ideal so how is this bad?
>>29837566
What the fuck kind of question is that
>completely submissive to me
Cool I just tell her to workout with me
50lbs gone in no time
>parents created me
Just imagine that moment when your mom begged your dad to cum inside her.
>tfw you were most likely a birthday gift to your dad (the math checks out)
>>29837532 >>29837572
I can't even imagine my mom being attracted to my dad.
>>29837532
the ultimate feel, nothing can top thiis
>Walk into your room
>See her
what do you do?
force feed her pizza and cheeseburgers to fattening her up.
What are you supposed to do there? Climb up and balance on your knees? Tie a rope to a vest and danglefuck her?
What the fuck? Why does my room look like this?
Lets have a Comfy Thread.
Fembots are welcome in this one.
I guess i have to write something
pooping is comfy
My home away from home :)
I think this is it guys
>I haven't cleaned my room in years
>Noticed a few ants a few weeks ago, thought nothing of it
>moved some stuff around and found literally millions of the fuckers
>too scared to tell mum because autism
>order some cheap pesticide online
>mum is out at some dinner tonite
>dump all the pesticide in the attic in hopes of killing the fuckers
>play some vidya while it works
>pass out and wake up to the whole house smelling like cheap market deodorant
>i'm dizzy as fuck
>cats won't come inside
>dog is ill
>the ants have gone berserk and are fucking everywhere
There is no way i can hide this. She will be home in like half an hour and i think i have poisoned myself.
Should i just burn the house down now or should just wait until she gets home?
Kill yourself.
Do it now.
I'm not trying to be mean, but you know these things happen because you're a certain type of person right? The type of person who's probably going to kill themselves anyway. So just so it.
>>29837515
Air freshener?
ahahahahaha oh my god
anon. open all the windows and turn on all fans.
then start stuffing your trash in garbage bags.
make this right.
>me
>obese for entirety of childhood
>"youre just a big boy, sweetie"
>try to be ok with it, never really am
>turn 16, 355 lbs
>starting to become my own person
>had enough of this bullshit, no point in living this obese
>spend the next two years committing to eating less and walking 3-5 miles every day
>lose ~180 lbs
>today, 178 lbs
>excess skin
>still have stomach flab, many of the downsides of being fat, muffin top over pants, love handles, hanging "gut" of skin flab
>i'll never be like the other guys with slim, flat abdomens
>will likely die a virgin unless i buy some fat hooker
>thanks mom and dad
>wake me up inside
>>29837510
Start saving money for skin flap surgery
>turn 16, 355 lbs
>>29837653
how much, anon?
leorinegal???
>decide to muster up courage to kill myself
>look up methods online
>cutting wrists is a meme and doesnt work
>bleach is a meme and doesnt work
>height has to be very high and nowhere near me is high enough
>guns are very hard to get ahold of (britbong)
>only option is to hang self but this is apparently one of the worst ways to do it
what am I to do here? how the fuck do I do this?
>>29837504
>cutting wrists is a meme and doesnt work
idk. seems like a few well-placed cuts would do the trick and be a fairly peaceful way to go.
>>29837542
I read that bleeding out is also very painful.
are these sites just trying to scare people not to do it?
>>29837504
>cutting wrists is a meme and doesnt work
Just remember: Down the river, not across the street.
I have this weird feeling thaty brother doesn't want me to move to Los Angeles. IDK why though
Los Angeles is a shithole that's why. I can barely stand living here.
>>29837502
You just posted my phone background...
>>29837528
I have a job offer & he lives two hrs away
And why do you move then?
>walking around at 4:30am trying to find a haunter
>come across a park where someone has put a lure on the pokemodual
>a lone qt sitting on the park bench at 4:30am on her phone
>sit down next to her and say "haha looks like you lured me in"
>she gets up and leaves
why do women and chads say "just be confident?" if robots act confident women just become disgusted with you. ive never felt so shit in my life. it took a lot of courage for me to approach her.
>>29837442
Please tell me this isnt fucking bait....
>>29837442
>you will never live in a city that never sleeps
she wanted you to be dominant anon, rip those undies and go to town.
>see anything you like, anon?
>A beautiful waterfall, indeed. Where did you get that?
>>29837373
show me your cock
wow that woman is legitimately gorgeous
I don't even want to see more for fear of breaking the illusion
whores discussing the number of dicks they've sucked and fucked
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D9uD7yM6bxQ
>>29837349
white women are whores, this is news?
>sluts going to slut
nothing new here
Yeah, that's pretty truthful.
Nearly all women who are 18+ have fucked at least 10 guys minimum.
Why aren't men more honest with what they really want? A stupid bimbo doll with perfect hair and skin, rather than somebody intelligent to have deep conversations with
>>29837347
False flagging, but you're right.
Both men and women are terrible people.
>>29837347
notice how whenever women are ugly it's something they could fix like being fat?
>>29837347
The girl on the right is hotter, but the majority of robots would date the left if she showered and was cool.
For women on the other hand any kind of intimacy with an unattractive man is a negative unpleasant experience.
Anyone here actually kinda glad they're a virgin?
I'm literally terrified at the notion of losing my virginity.
I've browsed escort sites a bunch of times, found some roasties in my area with good reviews but never pulled the trigger, I am honestly just pathetic at this point.
I've realized that if I ever have sex, it'll be through some incredible fluke and I'll only be able to look back on it and cringe. I'll regret it like I regret showing interest in that one girl a couple years ago.
>>29837303
>Anyone here actually kinda glad they're a virgin?
No. WTH anon? I'm ashamed of it. Also always really worried people might find out.
>I'm literally terrified at the notion of losing my virginity.
I really don't get that...
>tfw acting like pic related and adopting his mindset got me laid and actually got my life back on track
Not even joking.
>>29837268
Never played GTA V, please explain in detail.
I'm not even joking either.
>>29837268
i too have channeled the insanity of mr. phillips to my advantage. More around a year or so after the game came out (i was po') and I was just like "fuck this guy is totally me in 10-15 years, almost everything he says resonates with me, better start early."
I do regret to inform though that as badly as I want the CUT HERE dotted line around his neck, I will not be getting this tattoo.
It showed me that increased aggression in your voice to the point of amphetamine induced rage usually does all the beatings for you (most of the time, pick your spots. carry ccw if your're gonna be a full on Trevor.
I also admired his respect for women in the game, threatening to kill for their honor. Also he used meth and told michael that smoking was killing him, the pure utilitarian madman...
MR. RASPBERRY JAM IS MY ONEITIS
>>29837849
Find some vids of the guy on youtube. Basically a complete dgaf attitude and sometimes acting like a crazy fucker gets the job done. Also speaking to people like he does (all the "cupcake" shit) and the speaking manner is good.
Tell me about the most depressing thing that's happened to you robots. That incident that echoes in the back of your mind
>>29837255
I played competetive Overwatch with my friends and they dropped my rank from 59 to 48 :(
My life. gfsdfs
i got hot coffee in the microwave but im too lazy to go get it
