Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 4645. page
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>tfw tomorrow's the day my dealer comes to my door and delivers my weed
This delivery service is sugoi, I haven't had to leave my house since November.
the weed man delivers to my house too, it's a good feel
Don't abuse the Japanese language like that you degenerate
>letting drug dealers know where you live
You're just begging for trouble.
And if it's your parents house then holy shit.
>Someone is making money off of your poop
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Poop is valuable.
>>27406008
>>27406028
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
What would be the 'last straw' before you finally did it?
Do you have a plan?
>>27405988
Does helium actually kill you?
I've tried over 9000 times and it still hasn't worked
I'm killing myself on April 1st because I think it would be funny, I'm going to jump off the George Washington Bridge.
>>27406075
Yes but only pure helium. Like the kind you get at a welding shop
Help an anon out.
>>27405819
Assembly
C++ is the way basic language otherwise I would say html or java
>>27405839
wew matey
you have to options
become chad and never find a gf who actually loves you(all of them are just cock hungry whores who you can fugg though)
or
become a mtf trans and find true love of your choice(the catch is you have to get your testicles removed so you cant have kids but can keep benis)
Mtf trannies are the ponzi scheme of trolled betas.
Option 3 get Tobey Maguire to play the role of someone cool to hang out with and have the ultimate wingman
what's the downside of the second option
So ive been talking to this chick for the past few weeks and she admits to having a massive crush on me and always messages me cute shit but last night i told her i was gonna do a acid tab for the first time which i thought shed be ok with because shes a massive stoner but i think i fucked it and need to know how to unfuck it.
you want to apologize for doing something you like? if thats the case you're a class a cuck, she will know it and lose any interest left for you. keep doing your shit, if she doesn't like it dont try to regain her or any beta shit, eventually she'll realize her mistake and come crawling to you
edit:sorry for bad english
get rekt dipshit
>>27405806
>tabs
degenerate
>massive stoner
degenerate
Femanons what does Chad's cock feel like? Is it really that much better than robot dick?
I never really got this image and why it's so popular. What's the difference? Why is it funny?
>>27405685
have you never fucked a girl doggy-style?
>>27405700
where do you think you are, dipshit
hey robots this bitch stole $300 dollars from me and she cheated on me. 2542891014 please call her and piss her off
1 not your personal army
2 you are gay
3 sorry she turned you down, you stole her shoes from her locker and that's why she is mad at you foot boy
>>27405530
howd you type that with cheeto dust on your fingers and mountain dew in your hand
also i called her for u OP
>>27405496
Not your personal armybl0xlolol
>Digging around inside bellybutton
>Find what feels like a scab
>pull it out to reveal a giant fucking dried, rotting piece of my umbilical cord
This thing's been inside me for 22 years and I never even bothered with it till now.
Any other anons experience this? Was I supposed to even pull it out?
disgusting
ravioliriganioli
tldr
That video is fucking based though
>>27405473
No. To be honest I don't believe you.
Well /r9k/ tomorrow is the day I get kicked out. Im sure some of you remember my story on here, im the guy turning 32 and getting kicked out the house because I dont have a job and my parents are dicks. What am I suppose to do guys? I will I live?
>>27405455
Are there any homeless shelters nearby you can go to?
>Getting kicked out on a Saturday or Sunday, basically, the weekend
Not sure if belief.
Your parents aren't dicks for kicking out a 32 year old manchild who refuses to work
How do I find someone willing to beat the shit out of me?
Would offering them money work?
>>27405296
Money would work
Or just picking a fight near a bar etc
>>27405296
I'll do it for free honestly
So do you get off on this or do you geniunely hate yourself
>found gf's old phone
>open it
>full of pictures and chatlogs of her sexting with her 15 year old boyfriend when she was 20
>she's 22 now
>has literal child porn on her phone from all of his dick pics and her wanting to suck and fuck it
what do i even do.
van time
>>27405277
>what do i even do.
Why do you even need to ask? Dump her ass, that should be a HUGE red flag to you.
>>27405301
but how is it a red flag? they were a long distance couple.
How the hell do you deal with getting a roommate in college???
>I could get a Chad roommate
Try to learn his ways
>>27405193
you suffer for 8 months. my roommate was a chad and smoked, did drugs and ive walked in on him having sex. i only went to my room to sleep.
>>27405193
Having a roommate can be actually really good, it depends on who you get. My first semester my roommate was a Brad who I watched movies with and shot the shit with. However the second semester I got a Negro who would give me lip service any time I tried to speak to him about things. This year I have a guy from Brazil who is always asking me questions about why I don't have a social life and such and its very irritating. Next year I'm getting my own place.
>you have some friends
>you ask each of them if they want to hang out
>no response, or "sorry I have plans tonight"
It sucks being a "backup" friend. Now I'm alone on a Friday night with you fucks.
Welcome to hell friendo
>>27405080
I miss being a back up friend. I have no friends now
I'd rather have no friends. When I had friends all I could ever think about is if they were really my friends and feeling left out even if I probably wasn't.
What should I say to her?
>>27405034
Tell her you found your profile picture on google images.
nothing you have no chance girls are a waste of time for you
>>27405034
hey it was nice meeting you yesterday. Why didn't you told me your name, Isabelle is a nice name.
