Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 6200. page
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If that lazy wanker of a landlord isn't going to open up, I'll do it myself. It'll be easy. Look, he even left his recipe list right here.
What a faggot.
Anyway. Something on your mind chief?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MLLrW_NvhVM
Gimme a shot of some decent whisky.
I've been suspended from my university for drinking and druggingand yes, I'm a failed normie who deserved it, but I'm not really looking forward to going back.
I don't really like my major, but I don't have any drive for anything, including working on my passion (writing music).
There's no way I'd ever make it. I'm really stuck on what to do with my life.
>>25624911
>recipe list
Fufufufu
You dont need a recipe to pour me two glasses of vodka. No, I wont be having company, just drinking twice as much.
Hey 'keep, you got a nice rye to make me a Manhattan?
A 3/10 who wanted the D in high school is sending me phone calls again. I'm only 22, who the fuck tries to suck a 22 year old dry of alimony money?
Who else /Sniffer/ here?
>girl walks by
>catch a whiff of her hair and perfume
>wake up in the morning
>can tell which of my roomates is up without getting out of bed by the scent of their shampoo
>constantly burning candles or incense because the smell of myself/house is gross
>girl sits next to you
>her perfume is literally over-powering and choking you
>only been able to use pubic bathroom in the last year because the smell use to make me wanna barf
I don't think I've ever been in a pubic bathroom, but that sounds horrible.
>tfw sitting next to Chad and smelling his fragrance
>walk past a guy
>he forcefully expels air through his nose
:(
What would having sex with Anakin Skywalker be like?
>>25624707
Telekinesis + subtle force electricity.
It's coarse and rough and irritating and -it- gets everywhere.
>>25624707
Really gay.
pepe is literally normie tier now
we need a new meme to replace pepe
i propose spurdo, it'd be a nice shift in tone if we started using this meme bear instead of the worn out meme frog
>>25624691
I have 100 rare Spurdos and I am ready to crash the Spurdo market.
>>25624691
LE FINNISHH BENISS BEAR :DDDDDDDDwhy don't not try to force this shit
>tfw no passionate female lover
Daily reminder that you are all closet faggots and that if you believe in the sexuality meme you are a disgusting religionfag. Fuck you and your blind hope for salvation, there is no proof. Life has no purpose, there is no karma, afterlife, nothing. You are just a delusional retard who cannot accept the reality of this meaningless world.
You're probably right.
Here's a tip.
>>25624683
whatever you say m'lady
'kay. I'mma go to church, then come home, have dinner, and fuck my wife.
God bless.
I'm sick and tired of fapping 24/7. Post "yes" or "no" if you think i should cut the tip of my dick off off. quadz and i will do it and post it to the thread.
do it pussy
this comment is orange
yes
bloxxxxoxoxoxoxox
>>25624595
yes
doit faggot
Everyone meet tan chan
>>25624569
Approval denied
>>25624569
keep going shitstain
>>25624569
R9k picks the absolute worst waifus on 4chan. It's not even ironic, you pick disgusting people like the Filipino monkey girl and think it's attractive
END ME NOW SENPAI THERE IS LITERALLY NO RETURN FOR ME
>>25624406
Sorry friendo. What's the story?
>>25624406
What is the context, queer?
Look, you either have the skills to play it off or you don't. If you honestly don't know how to work your way out of something like this on your own then just change the subject.
why would anyone want disgusting 3d girls when you can have this
But you're wrong, I can't have it. That's why I settle for 3D.
>>25624354
Because of "muh tangibility"
>>25624354
>why would anyone want disgusting 3d girls when you can have this
i wish i could anon
Robots, I finally ascended to be a normal human being
Struggled with drugs, and suicide thoughts
finally after years i got a gf, and went clean.
I know you hate me, I know I'm a normie know, I don't belong here anymore.
I have thought of leaving but I feel
I must help you,
Anything regarding social skills, and Jesus I will assist you, he played a big part on this.
So Robots, are you willing to listen?
How do I start liking myself, stop hating women, and stop living for getting high.
What drugs did you do?
>>25624297
First big thing, no TV
I ditched TV on my house and saw how my self esteem healed, avoid ads in general, they make you feel worthless, that's how they get you to buy their products,
You look for girls at the wrong places,
Respectable girls are following Jesus, going to church, helping her mom with the dishes, they aren't at Starbucks taking selfies, why they follow Jesus? Because Jesus fills you with peace, his word is noble and speaks of morals and decency,
Once you achieve connection, with God and your future gf, drugs start to make no sense to you anymore, he cleans you.
How the hell do you deal with penis inspection day? It's coming up soon and I'm really anxious about it.
just bee yourself, it's that easy!
>>25624218
>order penis pump of deep web
>must be the model as seen in Austin Powers International Man of Mystery, all other models have been proven too faulty
>start by giving your knob 3-5 pumps morning and just before bed
>work up to 8 pumps twice a day after 1 week
>on the day of inspection give it one more go before you leave the house
you're welcome
>tfw inspection is coming up and I still haven't reached the minimum 7 x 5.5 needed to pass Introduction to Penile Competency 101
How the fuck am I going to graduate now?
>create company called dollarshaveclub
>it costs $3 a month minimum
>>25624116
>using the disposable razors jew
heh
>>25624183
what razor aren't disposable
>>25625031
my bowie knife
How drunk are you and why are you drinking? I'm almost done with my bottle of vodka, still won't feel good.
You need to get more.
try harder. or try drinking more. or try drinking better stuff.
Drinking vodka absolut.
Not drunk right now because i think i would throw up my whole stomach if i drank right now
Can you explain to me what makes you think you deserve a gf?
>>25623985
I have a fedora, a huge penis, and I'm really nice.
>>25623985
Because I'm just bein' muhself :^)
I am fit, friendly and have quite the amassed fortunate. I have the 3 Fs basically but I am 32 now and having lived so long as a virgin without using masturbation as a crutch basically left me asexual.
I think deep down I really wish for intimacy but I never flirt and the only women who approach me are clearly after my wealth so I'm probably just going to adopt a kid and make sure he succeeds where I failed.
time for a drinking thread, trains are welcome too though
what is your poison for tonight?
this is what I've got, took the pic with my new smartphone
Just drink it, why do we need a picture?
>>25623970
CHUBSALOM FLOPPLE
WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT DRINKING
YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO LOSE THAT EXCESS FLUB IF YOU DRINK ALL OF THAT
>>25624031
because I felt like posting it t b h
and because I want to chat with other drunk robots
![a110-dog-sniffing-clipart[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/k0mv7Ew.jpg "a110-dog-sniffing-clipart[1]")
