Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 7335. page
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>tfw actual obsession with cum
>swallow own cum at every opportunity
>visit a glory hole at local porn store
>considering buying bulk animal semen from a farm or something
>despite all this more into girls than guys
What is wrong with me
>>25094902
Theres nothing wrong sweetie, you just love the taste of cum **so do I**
>>25094902
If you're female, then cool beans. If not, for some reason it makes me nauseous. Strange is the mind of a horned up twenty four year old.
>>25094977
What if im a trap anon?
>tfw little brother won't play Pictionary with me and my friend.
What can I say or do to persuade him to play Pictionary?
Smoke marijuana, then suggest Pictionary.
I hope sempai notices my trips.
>>25094922
>just dubs
you were always a disappointment anon.
>tfw no tuko calling, kanin picking, manok chasing, tinikling dancing, tiyanak finding, aswang hunting, kabayo riding, carabao herding, baboy wrestling, duwende stomping, lechon roasting, lumpia cooking, pancit making, jeepney driving, sinigang eating, forest loving, /r9k/ posting, qtp2t filipina gf
>>25094804
Nice to see you too anon-kun
I was about to reply in the last thread. Sounds like you've had a pretty good trip. Chinatown is a nice place to wander around with company, I went there with my parents and sister around thanksgiving
>>25095453
none neck breaking version
ok robots. tell me the last time you truly loved somebody.
>>25094769
never. love is shit.
>>25094769
>Meet a cute grill freshman year of college
>From the Philippines, really short, really religious, total nerd
>Clearly a virgin
>Talk to her about life and shit for hours on end, have so many heart to hearts
>Feel like she may be the girl who could save me from the sheer bitterness
>Eventually tell her I have a thing for her
>She rejects me
>Says the feeling isn't mutual
>Says she just wants to be friends
>Go back to my room and cry for like an hour
A week or so ago
>Meet her again
>She hugs me every time we meet, mostly just because she feels bad for me
>Talks to me about this faggot friend of hers (let's call him Kyle)
>Says she spent lots of time with him
>Says he asked her to be his girlfriend
>Tells me she said the feeling was mutual, be she eventually decided to just be friends with him
>Died a little inside
>Came back to my room to find like 4 of my friends there
>Tell them the story
>End it with the following:
"I died a little inside, but I was so fucking happy she rejected Kyle too. I don't give a shit about their happiness.
Fuck you, Kyle. Suck a dick, choke on it, and kill yourself. If I can't have her, nobody can."
>>25095172
same shit happened to me. the only difference is this bitch looked like courtney love. i share this feel with you mate
What is the best drug to take if I want to pretend I'm a girl?
>>25094599
Estrogens and testosterone blockers
>>25094627
This is ye only option, op
weed
cause it's a girl drug
Would you smell a cute girls feet if she asked senpai?
behind closed doors yes
>>25094538
no, 3D girls are gross
>>25094538
Feet are disgusting. Absolutely not.
I have been trying to achieve /normie/ but the two times I have been so close I have gotten limp-dick and remain a virgin due to having no experience with intimacy. Anyone know these feels? Will almost definitely try Viagra with a slut next time, I am so close to escaping after all these years.
There's no such thing as a cyborg. "Cyborgs" are just failed normies.
Dude, i also got limp with a girl i'm really liking, and i'm 17 and virgin, i totally understand, but i'm not trying viagra, that's some serious shit bro, calm down. I will just try to relax more and be honest
>>25094520
Nothing wrong with op using Viagra
It's the porn that fucked us up, laddies. Believe it.
How can I learn to love a woman who's had large quantities of another man's semen all over her face? Serious question.
>>25094429
what did your mom say to set you off this time Anon?
>>25094458
Probably that his dad used to give her facials.
>>25094429
dude you watch too much porn bruh.
Cumming on a chicks face is not practical and it's kind of difficult to do.
Like the only time cumming on a chicks face is easy to do is if you're cumming from the blowjob--and if you're cumming from a blowjob you are basically a faggot.
The only time I came on a girls face was one of my long term girlfriends, and she requested it. I had to fuck her then start to cum, then stop, turn her around, have her get in a position to get cummed on and then jerk off for the rest of my orgasm. Wasn't great dude. Really wasn't good.
So I guess my advice is avoid pornstars if you don't want a woman that's had a lot of cum in her face.
>"o-o-oh...my god anon...you...you're so mean..."
That means "so masculine", right?
Oh, I'm just getting started, bitch.
It's good to be a dacryphiliac.
Hey /r9k/ I mentioned how depressed I was on a thread a bit ago and one of you gave me an excerpt from a poem,
"Do not go gentle into that good night
Rage, rage against the dying of the light"
And has since then become a favorite of mine.
Do you anons have any other poems like this one? That kind of give inspiration to those who are severely down on life?
Much appreciated.
i have a poem that won't inspire people probably, but i like it all the same, here is an excerpt:
"And indeed there will be time
To wonder,"Do I dare?" and, "Do I dare?"
Time to turn back and descend the stair,
With a bald spot in the middle of my hair-
(They will say:"How his hair is growing thin!")
My morning coat, my collar mounting firmly to the chin
My necktie rich and modest, but asserted by a simple pin
(They will say:"But how his arms and legs are thin!")
Do I dare
Disturb the universe?
In a minute there is time
For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse."
>>25094416
Why are T S Elliots perms all so depressing ... ands SO appropriate for r9k
>>25094416
Yeah it's not inspirational, but I did enjoy reading it. Thanks anon.
What the fuck is real life? What are the rules of it?
Does anyone know? Even when I go out in public and interact with strangers they don't seem to have a clue. Clerks drop spaghetti and share too much personal information. People get logos from comic books and video games tattooed on their bodies and walk around like they're insane.
The government is probably evil. Shit from sci-fi movies in the 70s and 80s is real now but nobody even realizes it yet. It's a god damn dystopia out there.
>>25093818
>born with consent and forced to get a shitty education that won't matter in the after life
>still caring about shit like this
You were born in the age you were born.
Stop fighting it
Here's the secret, OP. Are you ready?
Life is a really, really open-ended game. That's all it is, a game.
If you treat it like one, rather than a burden, a mystery, or a prison, you'll be able to see things much more clearly. And, since you now know it's a game, you can play it more effectively.
>Get aids you freak
What did she mean by this?
>>25093643
she wants an irregular individual to acquire an immune deficiency syndrome
>>25093709
But that's so cruel are all women like that?
>>25093728
only in animu
Are there any ways I can
>shrink my penis
>give myself premature ejaculation
I don't want a gf so I don't care about long term consequences.
>>25093617
post more lewd squids
>>25093617
become a fatass.;_;
why would you want that man
Would you willingly live in a human zoo? You'd get fed an ample supply of tendies and your favorite beverage, have a computer and internet access, and never have to work. The only problem is you have to live in a glass room and let normies watch you all day long, and laugh at you.
the world already is a zoo, though
didn't you know?
>>25093612
no. that would be too stressful.
>implying you're not already in one
Wel du yu like violins?
Yeah I do, in all honesty, OP my man
I live in a silver mine and I call it beggars tomb. I got me a violin and I beg you call the tune.
Is that eminem?
