Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 5012. page
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>favorite snack is chicken tendies
>always has been
>now it's a meme
>in my late 20s and always buy multiple packs from the supermarket of tendies
>go there at least 4 times every week for tendies
Thanks for probably making me the laughing stock of the staff there, faggots. Why couldn't you make the meme chicken nuggets or something else I hate?
>being so shit at life that you cant make your own tendies for a fraction of the cost, double the deliciousness
pathetic
>>27150432
Your tendies don't taste as good and are a hassle to make.
>>27150432
greentext recipe
Do you have a best friend anon?
Tell me about him/her. When did you meet? Why are you friends?
>>27150325
He hates me cause I spend all my free time smoking pot, cigarettes and drinking alcohol. But we both have the same sense of humour and interests, including hentai. We're so close I know his dick size.
The only people I know are from highschool. Everything beyond that I'm incapable of meeting people and growing a friendship.
I don't have one.
>tfw I could go for months without getting a text or phone call
does the eggman enjoy transgender porn?
he seems like a good egg
>tfw no more eggheads with whom to discuss eggman related matters
I am the egg man, they are the egg men
I am the walrus, goo goo good job g'goo goo good job
Goo goo g'joob g'goo goo g'joob g'goo
alcohol, this fucking shit sucks
sure it's fun but nowhere near worth feeling like throwing up all day the next day
never doing this shit again
>>27150177
yeah weed is a much better drug than alcohol
>>27150177
drink more water when you drink
start taking a multivitamin and b-complex
>>27150177
You get used to it
I don't mind the hangover because it makes my brain feel dead and I don't think as much
Tell the other robots about the last time you had sex.
I don't remember the day or specific thing. It was at least october or earlier.
I don't miss it. Masturbation is definitely more satisfying.
2 weeks ago.
Don't know how much longer I can take this.
Never had sex, age 21, I don't particularly care, the fantasies I have (besides being illegal) are unlikely to become real, at least at this stage of my life. My fantasy is to have a wonderful gf of about age 8-11, with a healthy sex drive, who is submissive and reverent, who can put up with being in bondage, blindfolded, gagged and whatever else will satisfy my sexual appetites.
I'm conducting experimentations. Respond however you see fit.
Of the 2 shapes, one is called booba and one is called kiki. Which is which?
>>27150109
Obviously the one on the right is called booba, and the one on the left kiki
Left is kiki, right is booba. Kiki is a sharp word so i associate it with the sharp shape. Booba is a softer word with no hard sounds, so its goes with the less angular shape
Shape b is booba.
Kiki is cooler, but I would hug booba
karmareincarnation
it's real
The rideneverends
What the fuck did I do to deserve this shitty life?
>>27149884
so what you are saying is, the amount of suffering i am enduring now will be all worth it when i will reincarnate in the form of a wealthy chand 10 inch dick ?
Because that doesn't seem worth italso i know you won't have a good answer for this but how do you know? have you experienced? do you spend a lot of time on /x/??
>>27149928
Statistically you are a white male living in a first world country. You lucked out if anything senpai. You could be a beta poo in loo or a slave instead.
Why haven't you bought that onahole yet?
What's going on in there? Why are there three entrances? Is the top one supposed to be the urethra?
Why is the vagina a maze?
>>27150027
I'm glad I'm not the only one confused by this.
>>27149881
is that a duck vagina onahole?
It's pretty cool to eat at diner alone.
post more pics of food you've ordered.
i hope its a burger or GTFO.
>>27149794
Only when I'm traveling for work desu senpai
Ate this thing called the valley supreme. It has fries,eggs,sausage,gravy,onion,bell peppers. My first time eating it and not to bad.
Did anyone else get fucked up by PUA? Before I started reading about it I was a normal shy dude. Now I have all sorts of insecurities and harmful beliefs. It's been 5 years since I stopped following it, but I'm still fucked up
>>27149683
>Now I have all sorts of insecurities and harmful beliefs
Tell me about those
>>27149683
What kind of harmful beliefs and insecurities?
>>27149683
>The Game
>a normie who didn't know he was a normie who was already a reporter, a very normie profession
>suddenly discovers that he is a normie
>writes book about trying to give non-normies dating advice
>gets rich
Don't bother trying to live your life in pursuit of women robots. I did and this is literally me and I'm more miserable than ever. They aren't worth it.
This is inevitable the fate of everyone who stays in relationships for long enough
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1tV29aD7dFI
>>27149655
Maaa nigguh
feel the same way, women are not worth time and effort, my hand does the job much better, and if i want an upgrade i buy an onahole and bam it's better.alsochecked
>>27149655
Clay lived a massive lie and was never honest with anyone even himself.
The failings of both him and his marriage fall on him and his actions.
He didn't think he could get better
He didn't think another girl would give him the time of day
He treated dating in his youth as a trophy sport and got his prize for it.
girls you want are out there girls that you can be yourself around without some wall or act exist
but god damn they are not just going to fall from the sky and crash on you, you can't just wait around to see if they walk by, you have to actively hunt for them date some in between and never settle. Yes it's hard as fuck but the alternative is Clay's outcome where you are just destroyed because you let your hormones and fear decide your mate rather than you.
>>27150295
the point is life is limited and chances are you will meet bad apple one after the other, sometimes never even realizing it until you spend 2 years with a bitch.... and then all those years are wasted.
Relationships as of today are just simply obsolete, what you actually need is like a job center but for couple making (no... not dating companies)
You go in get a thorough psychological evaluation, do some other personality tests.... then you get put in the database. This place also has forced fitness requirement, yes you will be forced to have a healthy body, no it's not a choice. after that there's a waiting period you get evaluated and you are assigned to women or men with interests similar as yours, you don't go on dates you take part in activities that involve relationship building and problem solving. You will have to work together, otherwise you get killed.
Couples that survive will form a strong and life lasting bond, couples that don't were not good enough and the gene pool just gets better and better.
Is it crazy??
Do i care??
Well just think about it.
Also this is not something you choose it's something you have to do. once you reach the age of 20 you start the program by the age of 24 you are either alive and happy or dead.
Government forcing me to get a job after 12+ years on welfare.
What the fuck.
They called me in to see if I was at all capable of any work (thank tone abbutt) and then decided I was. So now I have to look for 8 hours of work a week.
I was on disability pension for faking (I know I know >faking) having autism.
>>27149594
Based Tone still doing God's work. Get off your lazy ass, NEET.
So yeah, with this sudden torrential downpour of responsibility and zero WORK EXPERIENCE or skills whatsoever what do?
>>27149594
All you gotta do is look for work. The likelihood that you'll get a job is unlikely.
Man my life has been getting better and even yesterday was great but something yesterday really bit me in the ass and is affecting me way more today
>be me
>at my grad party
>just graduated
>I'm 18 btw
>have good times
>people actually look up to me, people see my matureness
>feelsgoodman.jpg
>but then, family drives over to congratulate me for
>their 10 year old daughter notices me
>lets call her Fey
>says hi, I autistically don't know who she is till she says my name, and even reminds me of the time I saw her
>say hi for a minute then they have to go
Lets go back further
>this is girl I met last Fall who I had to babysat
>nicest and cutest girl and kid in general I have ever met
>she had some vidya games too and actual plays often
>she only had a Wii but even had VC classics of some games
>most girls her age and older play retarded iPhone games
>impressed.gif
>in fact most girls I know are annoying whores who love stuff like Arianna Grande and Damn Daniel
>form a crush on this
>realize my crush is sick and can not be
>feel like crap after that and spiral into depression for a couple weeks
Fastfoward back to now
>The fact that she remembered me and my vidya playing blows my mind
>Even her being 13 would be less weird but the dumb 8 year gap kill me
>she is literally everything I want in girl but is too young!
inb4 you guys make rape loli memes
This isn't about sex it is about love.
What should I do brobots?
Should I forget about her?
Or should I wait till she is 18 and I am 26 and courageously ask her out? I mean at that point it would be perfectly fine and I honestly don't think anyone else would be that perfect.
>>27149497
>courageously ask her out
Fucking do it
>>27149497
so basically a little girl remembered your name and now you want to bang her?
>>27149529
>so basically a little girl remembered your name and now you want to bang her?
It is more than that
>she played vidya with me
>she gave me food without me asking
>would clean my trash I left, even if I asked to help she said she would take care of it
This hurts so much man.
>be me
>signed up for tinder last night
>went through males only for the hell of it
>saw the person who was the sole reason to make me seek revenge against chads
>he's 25 and has braces
and then i had an epiphany. All this elliot Rodger tier hatred i have is my problem, sure he fucked me over in high school, but i think its time for me to let go and maybe my hatred is approaching delusional levels. In the end, he guy will get married and have kids, and be a father, ill probably die a virgin, but i just feel that im just feeding my own hatred with warped perceptions and that it's time for me to move on.
High school was 9 years ago.
Just sharing my story
Congratulations, not get out of here while you still can
>>27149567
Easier said than done but i guess its something i have to do
I'm certain most robots are aware of this, but are in too deep and would rather stew in hatred then admit they were wrong.
come, my true robots, the time has come for a great crusade! against what, you may ask? tripfags, of course! scum the likes of doj, mystery.jpg, and ohara who exist either only as attention whores, literal whores, or as pathetic cyborgs who need to fuel their fragile sense of self worth by mocking and arguing with robots. they are failed normies, they are """"""femanons"""""", they are half-chads, everything thats driving r9k apart. band togehter, wagekeks and neets, hijaks and roaches, all those united in autism, and together we can banish these scum from r9k! what do you need to do, you ask? its simple, just argue, annoy, and derail them at every turn. they will always respond. annoy them enough, and poof! theyre gone! plus, its loads of fun to mess with their false sense of security in OUR board. we can reclaim r9k to what it was pre-oregon shooting, but only together!
Dude youre going to be alone in this fint. Literally all normie hate topics dont get replies because the normies cant relate to it. Im just here out of habit now.
Also r9k's monthly number of threads made has dropped from 8k to 7.5k in a matter of 2 weeks
God wills it, fellow robot. Let's drive their filth out.
>>27149246
Its not the tripfags that changed this place though, it's all the normies from facebook and reddit that wanted to see for themselves. R9k should be renamed "Failed normies pretend to be dead inside because they didn't have sex in 3 weeks"
