Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 5005. page
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>tfw only five minutes into exploring you're new life after being magically turned into a cute girl and some assholes pull you into a van and kidnap you
How would you escape, /r9k/?
>>27161210
Tell them I'm trans, since it might technically be true. Hopefully maybe that could disgust them enough to throw me out.
>>27161210
>escape
m-maybe I want to stay and see where this is going...
>>27161247
>Anon-chan used to be a guy?!?!
>That makes my dick even harder!
tell with me the first time you smoked a fat blunt please
>>27161184
Stories about doing drugs are always lame as shit. Getting high is what's fun, not other pointless bullshit.
>>27161217
wtf man i just want to smoke weed sir
At a park with three friends smoking some dank my mother gave me that was dry and strong as fuck and some shit a friend bought from my usual dealer. It was almost two years ago. It was pretty mind blowing, but also one of my first controlled highs. After that some nice guy on the street gave us more weeks but it blew and made us sleepy as fuck. O remember being at the bus stop listening to a shitty commercial for what seemed an eternity wishing I was asleep and hallucinating when I closed my eyes.
You know the drill, dubs decides how I reply and I will post a screenshot afterwards.i'm a female btw
>>27161158
"Only if by 'work', you mean the inside of my vagina."
Have you ever tried to not make stupid questions?
>>27161197
Rolling for this beastiality will definitely get you laid OP
ITT: stacies getting BTFO in unique ways
>be average hot stacy
>get tumor on pituitary gland
>grow a foot taller and become the elephant woman
>live every day in chronic pain for 10 years
>die
>why don't girls love me
>why do I feel everyone hates me guys, fucking normies
Hmmmmmmmmmmmm
>>27161154
i like this, is a very unique BTFO
>Her daddy is a lawyer
>Mommy is in charge of a bank (the company, not the building)
>In college gets hooked on prescription amphetamines as a study aid
>They get expensive
>Switches to meth
>Wound up selling her mouth for $10, her pussy for $20, and her ass for $50
>14 year old step sister opened the door to my room to tell me dinner is ready and walked right into my cum shot
>they're telling me I need to get a job and move out
>>27161107
nice!
did it get on her face?
This is why you record yourself every time you masturbate, this is gold man.
>>27161107
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm......fucking bot ass fucker
Anyone still in high school? I know I am practically underage but I feel like my life is over already.
There is one last prom and I am going to ask some girl from my english class who I've almost never spoken to. She is very nice so she will either accept out of pity or kindly decline.
I'm really nervous about it, my heart is racing just thinking about it, but if I fuck up I will never see her again so who cares. I recommend you high school bots try something similar. This is our last chance to be alive.
>>27161029
I want to put my dick inside Lorde's thick mane.
>>27161029
Highschool is your entire world while you're in high school.
I'm twenty now and could honestly not give a single fuck about anybody I went to highschool with. I never think about them or consider how their lives are going.
I would be completely fine with taking an HD video of my anus farting to the beat of an usher song, loading it onto a usb and mailing copies to the entire student body clearly addressed from me at my current address.
Literally nobody cares about highschool after highschool. You'll get over it.
>>27161106
That's what I assumed, which is the only reason why I'm even considering doing this.
>>27161079
She is taking the BAC (big asian cock) right now.
>be me
>white guy, 6'2, otter mode body, blue eyes
>gave up on finding a 7/10 white or Asian girl
>not attracted to black girls
>join a board games club
>I meet an ugly chubby black girl with the same interests as me
>we become close friends and I eventually start to love her
>decide to ask her to be my girlfriend
>I think "I'm white and she's fat, black and ugly, this should be easy"
>she rejects me and tells me she sees me as a little brother, that she loves me but not as a boyfriend and that she doesn't have time for a bf
>still talk to her everyday and hangout with her every weekend hoping she will be mine
Yeah. So now I'm orbiting a fat, ugly, black girl. I guess the memes about tall white guys having it on easy mode weren't true. Pic related is her.
>>27160982
Holy kek. What is it like being a fucking girl?
I bet they feel more powerful than god.
>>27160982
How did you fall in love with that? She must seriously have a 12/10 personality. Wish I had that
Eh black women exhibit a bias towards any men that aren't black according to OKC's 2014 poll on race and dating, you'd be better off going after asians and white women
>ZAAAAP
>ZZZZZZZAP
>ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZAP
When the fuck do these brain zaps stop? I fucking wish I never went on these jew-pills.
>>27160950
>tfw I usually twitch once or twice when trying to go to sleep
>tfw I suspect it is from the Jew pills I used to take
I know how to stop them. Chew on ice, I am not joking. Get like a slushie or something cold. It will stop the brain zaps, had them many times.
>>27160950
context? what pills?
What should I do tonight? What are you doing tonight?
Don't you have to work or study?
Whatever hobbies you have, man.
I'm rewatching Gurren Lagann, and after that I'm going to play some roguelikes until 4 AM and pass out.
>>27160856
I already worked. Not currently in school.
>tfw will look like this with some work, my normie friends even agree
who aspiring chad here?
>>27160800
>Some work
Yeah some isn't the right word here. It more like constant work.
>>27160800
Not without steroids op. You can either be big ie built but fat. Or lean ie small but ripped. You can't be both naturally.
Being ripped doesnt make you chad.
>start a tinder
>using fakegps on tablet
>accidentally set to Brazil
>don't notice and start swiping
>match with this goddess
>have no idea what she's saying
>can't communicate
>can't ever meet her
Just kill me senpai
Her bio just says the same old boring normie girl shit.
>>27160768
What does it say? She's so beautiful. I would give anything for a girl like her to slow interest in me ;_;
She looks like a typical, generic slut bro
>at least one female thread on the front page at any given time
>"fembot feels" are a daily thing now, and multiple times a day
>threads by women
>threads for women
>every female post is guaranteed replies, even if its obvious bait
>thirsty betas always replying
>board quality drops accordingly with female posts increasing
this board is fucking trash and thats saying something since it hasnt been good in a long time, why the fuck do you people put up with this?
i put up with the newfags when the bot was kill
i put up with the redditcancer when rare pepe gained momentum
but constant female posting is the fucking line.
can we please get a support on /qa/ to make some sort of /feels/ board with the exact same rules as /r9k/ with the only difference being women cant post? do the same thing for a females only board so they dont bitch about it, and all the trolls pretending to be women can go there
>>27160650
Well there's basically nothing that can be done since the janitor here sucks.
I do miss old r9k though.
(In b4 wizchan, too slow)
>>27160650
>waahhh women are posting in my sekrit clubbb :(((
>>27160650
Ewwwwww, ccooottttiiieeesss. Mom, I need more tendies!
If women are more emotional then why come men are the ones who make art?
>>27160547
They are not more emotional, but more emotionally manipulative.
>>27160547
>The overwhelming majority of artists these days are women
>This is easily proven by browsing tumblr
>This is easily proven by browsing dA
>This is easily proven by browsing literally any website designed to submit art and circlejerk around it
>This is easily proven by attending any art class
>This is easily proven by asking any of your artsy friends (which will usually be a girl) for group photos of her entire class, which are always 75-95% female
Either you're retarded or baiting. Let's face it, it's probably the former. Saged either way
>>27160724
>This is easily proven by browsing tumblr
I stopped reading your shit post here, faggot.
>tfw I fell for the "white males are in high demand" meme
>tfw still 21 khv
why the fuck does everyone say this?
>>27159991
>tfw black
>small dick, huge lips
I just want to die, please
>>27160098
literally just lie about your dick size, women will believe it because of the kike media
white males are high demand if they meet other Chad-like qualities OP:
>measure 6' or above
>not socially awkward
>muscular body (abs, big-arms, broad shoulders, the works)
>tanned-skin
>chiseled-frame
>thick full scalp
>pearly white straight teeth
women are just pushed by society to be more "selective" so as to not be labelled "sluts" so they hold out and nit-pick the stupidest things on guys (right down to the very shoes he wears)
Title says it. Eggman finally cracked and got facial reconstruction to look more like Chad Thundrecocks.
I believe you and trust you implicitly.
That's not eggman
>>27159973
>lying
>on the internet
It just doesn't make sense
