Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 4722. page
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Tenderness edition
First for UKIP.
>>27381618
A worthy first
tfw no bf can not compete
Third for platonic male nakedness.
>just finish going down on gf
>talking dirty to her
>"I lost my virginity to 3 guys at a houseparty anon it was so hot. Maybe we should try it with friend X and friend y"
>spit all my saliva into a cup making disgusted noises
>call her a disgusting whore
>put clothes on she's crying telling me she was just kidding
>walk out the door and tell her to not contact me again while she's screaming and crying calling me an asshole
>haven't spoken to her in 24 hrs
>LITERALLY 200 CALLS AND ~300 TEXT MESSAGES ALTERNATING BETWEEN I LOVE YOU AND I FUCKING HATE YOU ASSHOLE
Finally got a gf and this happens. Fell for the gf meme. Fuck my life.
Get a restraining order anon
>>27381458
The worst part about it is I felt like I had just sucked dozens of dicks after eating her out. Should I even return her calls? I have been feeling kind of bad for her..
>>27381648
Return the call, discover why the fuck she said this, stay more with her and find out what kind of woman she is.
One of these threads? They are consistently mildly entertaining.
Can't post the ones I want with this low file size limit.
>>27381275
>gaming pc
>internet
>drugs and alcohol
>no roommates
>internet access
>drugs and alcohol
>mystery box
>molly and larry
>"I don't even want kids"
Are women lying when they say this? Seems they always change their mind
>>27381217
I don't want kids. I've never liked kids and my life seems pretty good so far without them.
Why do people feel the need to pass on their genes so strongly? Children are associated with higher rates of depression and happiness is seen most in childfree/empty nester couples.
>>27381267
And in 10 years you'll be baby crazy like the rest of em. No there not lying they feel that way in the moment then the hormone kick in the other way and they do
>>27381291
I'm 26 and I don't feel it senpai. Now must be the time to be baby crazy, don't you think?
all i wanted to do was start a hardcore band with some guys and play shitty venues
i can shout pretty good
>>27381130
Location? Guitar player reporting in desu
>>27381197
im the first guy, i also have a monstrous guitar rig
post here if you are a:
>transbot
>trapbot
>chaser+robot
>closetbot
>think you might be one of the above
please be nice to each other, girls and boys
just to save any of you the effort:
>she
I'm going to start crossdressing soon.
I do not have a bf. This can be attributed to my boring personality and strange fetishes.
I don't have high standards. This loneliness is overwhelming. There are only a small number of requirements I have.
>tfw you see young transitioner and resent their entire existence
It's the bitterest I've felt in ages. I don't like it.
How can I stop hating others? ;_;
I literally have never met a single person irl that likes my favorite band (Modest Mouse), movie (Nightcrawler), tv show/anime (Tatami Galaxy), book (Lolita), game (Dota 2), or presidential candidate (Gary Johnson). How the fuck am I supposed to find a gf /r9k/?
>Dota 2
Found your problem.
if you cant find a girl who likes modest mouse you might just be retarded
>>27381051
>>27381051
This is pretty much all normie tier garbage.
Your appeal for a libertarian candidate means you're probably autistic though, and that's probably why you have issues.
>Chad's mother dies
>He needs a friend
>He turns to you
What do you do robots?
You have to realize that Chad's struggle as well, no one has it completely easy in this life
Become his mommy gf
Befriend him in his vulnerable state, manipulate him until he lets me fuck him in his ass.
Then fuck his ass so hard and long that his DNA feels the effect and his molecules get rearranged and be turns from Chad into Dahc.
>>27381015
>What do you do robots?
Turn him away. I hate people and have no desire to help anyone.
Cringe thread here's some OC
cool thanks a lot
This is the Same guy
>>27380937
awesome, really. thank you.
>Forgot to bring lunch to work
The only places around here are shit like Subway, Toxic Johns, McDonalds and Arbys.
Dig in the trash
>>27306907
>Toxic Johns
what?
>>27306948
Every time I go here I get the shits or worse.
Ask a high school normie, closet robot, anything
>>27306854
Nah. I'll pass
>>27306854
ask for what?
>>27306854
>closet robot
That's not a thing, please leave. More likely a cyborg.
Shinji wore autism shoes.
>>27380756
shinji lookin fly doe senpai
that's not the only autistic thing shinji did
>grabs rei's boobs and saw her naked
>rejects misato when she tried to fuck him
>strangles asuka
>gets in the fucking robot
Shinji is alpha as fuck
Am I the only one that finds pussy eating disgusting? Why would anyone want to lick someone's insides that probably tastes like a rotten fish?
>>27380603
>>27380603
>probably
you find the "idea" of eating pussy disgusting. you are also a virginfag. go hang out with the rest of them in the xkcd irc rooms.
>>27380603
Do you also find dick sucking disgusting? When you actually have sex you find yourself enjoying things you never thought you would.
>>27380603
try boipussy heard its less fishy.
Do you guys think that a shotgun would make too much of a mess? It seems like the easiest way to go, cause I have close access to one.
>>27380593
Just wrap your head in a big towel and do it in the bathtub. Put plastic wrap on the walls and hang a sheet over the pole thing (whatever the fuck you call the shower curtain holder). You'll be good.
>>27380593
I bet it's the easiest and safest one and people cleaning the mess are used to it. But do what >>27380617 said and also try to do it in a room and against a background that doesn't mind getting dirty.
>>27380617
>>27380715
Should I just put the gun in my mouth, or like the back of the head?
>I can't get a girlfriend because of my genetics
>>27306428
Holy fuck is this guy even REAL ?
>>27306428
Well, yeah, he is fucking ugly so nobody wants him and so he became a social reject who does this sort of shit.
swords lost their badassery because only faggots and outcast have interests in them and make these edgy photos with them.
