Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 1346. page
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How the fuck are my fellow robot NEETs surviving nowadays? And how pathetic are you currently?
>21 KV NEET for one year (actually graduated HS at age 20 because I failed 9th grade and didn't sign up for 11th grade when I was supposed to, so that's 2 total years of being a NEET)
>no gf ever
>no IRL friends
>never had a job
>still living in my parents house
>barely go outside, but I did the same thing during my school days
>no money
>so fucking insecure about my looks that I don't want people to even look at me, less interact with me (am probably a 3/10, 4/10 at most)
>keep having obsessive thoughts every day despite that I'm trying to clear my problems as well as possible
>since I don't want to be an uneducated low life working dead-end jobs when my parents die I might give college a try later this year but I fear that it will feel overwhelming, might not even be accepted for the course I want in the first place
>am living through every day manually by watching shitty seasonal anime, trying to finish my backlogs and play a few specific games
It doesn't really get any better. And the older I get, the more pathetic all of this will sound like.
>mom puts her foot down and tells me to either get a job or go to college before Summer ends or she'll put me out on the street
>know she's dead serious
>decide to fake suicide attempt so I could guilt her into letting me stay
>at subway station with mom going to see relatives
>Jump onto tracks when train is far enough away to see
>plan was to get her to come try and grab me or have someone else try and pull me out (train was far enough away that the conductor could slow train in time)
>she immediately walks away
>people just standing there with their phones out
>realize I might end up on jewtube
>panic and run off platform
>train that was already slowing down stops
>get tackled by station cop
>apparently they were under the impression that what I did was a prank
>autism stops me from claiming suicidal mindset
>cop brings me home
>mom refuses to answer, says I'm an adult and I should deal with police myself
>haven't gone home since
>living in a youth shelter for 3 months now
>>29446747
Fuck, you could have easily ended your suffering back there. You should have jumped later so the normies don't get a good chance to record it.
Thanks for sharing, anon. I had a good laugh.
I thought I was pathetic, but your cry for help turned into it was just a prank bro.
who /attractive but fat/ here?
>be 9.5/10 in high school
>generally too bad at socializing to make friends or girlfriends
>girls that know me don't eye me
>female strangers in public who eye me for my great looks end up walking away after 30 seconds of talking when they realize how socially inept i am
>high school ends
>stay in room all day in summer, like very summer
>eat lots of food
>metabolism starts slowing down at this age
>also eating a lot out of stress because i realize i have no career prospects
>gain more and more weight
>im now 22, 350 pounds now
>but underneath this mass of goo is a very handsome man
any tips to get motivated to work out and lose weight and bulk up so i can reach 10/10 status?
>>29446206
>fat
>attractive
pick one
and post pictures
>>29446347
>pick one
I pick both
>post pictures
So you can scrutinize every detail to suit your point? No thanks
>>29446206
Not me br
How can anyone waifu this piece of trash? She's a coal burning, shallow, makeup-obsessed, dim witted Stacey slut.
What the fuck do any of you even have in common with her? Painting your nails and masturbating to the Black male-lead in crappy movies?
Anyone who likes Galko needs to neck themselves. Fuck off.
You're right, pure American battle rifles only.
She's not a coalburner, that was a deliberate mistranslation by Horriblesubs, watch any other subs with it and you'll see that's not what was said.
Unlike Stacey, she's pure.
I like Galko because of her purity, yet she's lewd as fug in appearance, and she also caters to several of my fetishestoilet use, hairy armpits, gyaru and butt hair
>>29446299
>pure
She's not. She dresses like a slut. She's an exhibitionist. That isn't pure.
> This man suddenly appears in front of you looking you dead in the eyes.
What would r9k do?
Probably get impaled
Ask him to kill me. That's really all that comes to mind
ask him how early he has to get up to get his hair done
and maybe what conditioner he uses because it looks soft as fuck
anyone can post a confession here in absolute secrecy
mine is I inspect my own shit every day, I like to touch it and smell it, but I never put it in my mouth or on my body except my fingers
>be me
>can feel a shit coming
>I recently just ate a lot of meat and vegetables so I can tell it's going to be solid and smooth
>go to take a shit
>sit down
>position my hand underneath my asshole
>start shitting
>the aroma instantly hits the air
>definitely smells like last nights dinner. on time too.
>it's coming out quick and smooth, adequate levels of fiber
>finally get it in my hand
>pull it up and inspect it
>about 7" long, smooth on the tip, solid int he middle
>break it open
>that dank methane hits my nostrils like sulfur
>get even closer and inhale deeply
>smells amazing
>start playing with it and examining the consistency
>once I'm satisfied, drop it in the toilet, waddle over to the sink and wash my hands
>wash them one more time
>go about my day
feels good man
>>29446159
I wore the same pair of socks twice last week
>>29446159
What's the weirdest shit you've ever had the pleasure of inspecting?
I found a way to get 4chan passes for free
>Wow, you actually came. None of us thought you would actually show up, Anon.
>So, which one of us are you gonna dance with first?
>>29446126
They would look like shit even if they were had a medium height. Ugh-
I wonder what fucking a midget is like
>>29446238
Just imagine m8 you can break their arm just by swinging your dick
What is the point of improving to try and get a gf? Why do people even try to improve their lives? I has NEET for years until 23. At 23 I got a government job and moved up several pay grades in the last four years. During these 4 years i got /fit/, moved out of parents home, bought a car, got some new hobbies, completely redid my wardrobe, and vastly improved my social skills. The entire motivation I had was the false hope that I would be able to get a virgin gf. Obviously I was naive enough to think that there were still virgin females around. I feel like I completely wasted the entire last four years of my life for no reason. Not only that but I feel stressed constantly and just want to abandon everything. I would do anything to go back NEET. NEETs there is no point in "improving" as you guys already have the perfect lives.
Self-improvement is just a meme. It's better to condition yourself to be satisfied with the way you are preasantly instead of endlessly chasing self-improvement
>>29446220
>>29446104
self improvment is reality of your own evolution.
you need to better yourself because you will never be perfect.
the moment you stop having goals, that means you have failed yourself and will stop progressing. which means you will be dissapointed.
you can better miss than have never have shot in your life.
>>29446321
What if you have one goal yet realized its impossible to reach?
As soon as my mum dies, I will die too.
Same. Soon as parents die I'm gonna shitpost until they turn off my utilities, then burn the place down and shoot myself.
why , dont you get a income ?
income is the most important thing you can loose.
as long you get something from government , you'r safe.
>>29447363
>living without mom
I don't care to.
r9k what is wrong with me? I have been in a relationship for a year and a half now is going really well, yeah I know normie REEEEEE. She is into mommie son fetish and roleplay. We were joking about her brother bc she fixed his laptop and found lap dance google searches. We were laughing about the first time we came etc. and I told her about Milena. Now I don't watch anime but think hentai is aight, haha donbure mesumi don oppai is a classic. However, when I was like 10 I jerked off to milena and she was the first person I came over. I'm absolutely obssesed with her. I told her who she was and she said she's pretty hot but not into the big breast thing, fairs. I have over a hundred gigs of pics and videos of milena. I need help. The mommy son caption gifs birthed my massive mom/son incest fetish. She has the power to influence my fetishes wtf is wrong with me?
>>29446071
just stop m8
and stop posting
>>29446850
Should I just delete it all? I plan on catalouging it all and making a torrent.
>>29446071
>tfw she has been doing lewds for over 15 years at this point
>she will probably retire without even doing a handjob video
JUST
>So be perfectly honest with this next question, how's your sex life anon?
>>29446045
It's on the rocks lately :(
>>29446045
It's awesome. Long-term relationship with my boyfriend, sex at least twice a week, and we occasionally invite other girls to join us.
>>29446045
Decent. Need a balm or something, ripped the skin on my dick a little. I get my daily dpse though.
new meme: dabbing frog
comment and discuss
He doesn't even look like he's dabbing.
0/10, end of thread, sage, complete failure OP.
>>29445986
>>29446009
well i think that it's pretty good
>>29445986
Why the fuck should that be a new meme? Fucking cancer get the fuck out
A robot on omegle disconnected before I could give him another cosmic horror recommendation.
Anon, you'll like Lazarus. It's one of the first zombie stories, which I know you're not such a fan of, but it's more that Lazarus acts as a patient zero for existential fuckery from beyond the grave. Unexplained experiments gone horribly wrong, eldritch geometries, and human glibbering against the void are all here.
...You trusted me on the other recs, right?
http://www.eastoftheweb.com/short-stories/UBooks/Laza841.shtml
Also, book recommendation general.
Tell me what you like, and I'll tell you more things you will like. Please be sure to specify fiction/nonfiction and your preferred genre.
>>29445956
I like fiction mostly. My favourite book is probably Catch 22 and I like Brett Easton Ellis also, so I guess things with unreliable narrators and people who are disillusioned and a bit crazy?
>>29446024
I spent most of the conversation with the original anon talking about starting Poe, and I think that recommendation holds up well with your need for unreliable narrators with crippling mental issues.
Definitely read The Brothers Karamazov. It uses the unreliability of the narrative with grace and unsettling discrepancies. Different interpretations of the events in question will very nearly get you multiple experiences of the same book, and all options are a head trip.
People generally reduce Nabokov to his one infamous work, but you'll really enjoy Pale Fire. I promise.
Also, Starship Troopers by Heinlein is a trip. Definitely read that too. Heinlein is one of my favorite SF authors.
To whoever made that Bladee thread, thanks!
Hocus Pocus (feat. Bladee) was my favourite song off the new Yung Lean album but I had never bothered to look him up.
Who /Bladee/ here?
>thought bladee was just a meme 2 months ago
>now listen to almost entirely bladee
I wish he had more songs
>>29446027
>ironically listen to d4nny
>enter meme rap spiral
No regrets
What's your favorite off Eversince phams?
>Romeo
>vid related: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=euVt3YDshUY
>someone convinced me to go to a jehovahs witnesses meeting, dont ask why
>so i go
>get bus to place near jw meeting building
>bus is 10 minutes late
>walk around and cant find the place
>find a building that sort of looks like it, people sitting down inside and religious type music playing
>walk in
>everyone looking at me
>some staff guy walks up to me
>me: "excuse me, is this the jw meeting place thing?"
>him: "uh no, if you want to get there just keeping walking down the road"
>me: "o-okay thanks"
>walk out
>keep walking for like 5 minutes
>kinda lost
>finally find the place
>i'm like 20 minutes late already
>go through the entrence
>some old guy is standing there
>i assume he is staff so i walk up to him
>me: "h-hi"
>then i realise
>he is just some old guy in a suit talking on the phone
>he looks at me with a confused face
>i continue in
>its started
>talking about bible shit
>everyone is looking at me
>everyone is wearing smart clothing
>every girl has a dress, every guy has a suit
>i'm wearing fucking jeans and a jacket
>every fucking person there has an ipad or some shit
>and a specific book that cost like 20 britcoins
>and a fucking bible
>i literally dont have anything
>i sit down
>staff guy walks up to me
>lends me a bible
>tells me what pages we on
>guy at front start quoting verses
>i have no fucking idea where to look
>he says something like "turn to psalm somethingsomthing"
>like can he not just tell me the bible page
>i sit there awkwardly for like 20 minutes
>have no idea what they're talking about
>completely fucking lost
>staff comes up to me
>"we're reading this"
>points to somewhere on the page
>i'm like "uhh o-okay"
>still no fucking clue what we are reading
>this is torture
>some people still looking over at me once in a while
>with literally a disgusted look
>see girl get up to go to toilet
>toilets near the exit
>this is my fucking chance.
>i finally get up to go to the toilet
>then as i'm going near the toilet
>i head for the exit
>see staff peple walking up behind me
>quickly just walk out the fucking building
>last bus already gone so i had to walk home
>get home tired as fuck because fat
>write this
>consider suicide
>>29445868
>because fat
There was your mistake. Religious gatherings serve the same function as dance clubs and parties. Its for mate selection. You were being sexually rated and you scored low, hence the disgusted looks.
Public gatherings are a no-go when you're fat, since they all serve the same purpose.
>>29446050
well idk maybe, i was convinced to go as religion might have 'changed my view' on things.
Dropping in to say I'm done with this board. Almost every thread is blogging, /soc/ shit, reposts, sexual deviancy, or some combination thereof. The atmosphere is insanely juvenile and retarded. All of the good posters must've left long ago. Maybe 8r9k is good. L8r fagets
>>29445820
Don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya
>>29445820
But where else can you go? 8ch's /r9k/ is too slow, same with wizchan. You can have either this, or reddit/traditional forums which are horrible.
You'll have to suffer with the horrible quality of this board because there's NOWHERE ELSE TO GO.
>>29446999
But if we all leave, H/wiz will speed up, no?
