Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 88. page
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So fellow robots, why do you need feminism?
People keep telling me to "man up" and.. fuck I don't know. I'm never getting laid if I listen to them though. They want use betakeks as slaves only.
>>29985016
save your betabucks and just hire a prostitute
>wharrgarbl
>go to sleep
>have gf
>wake up
>no gf
FUCK dreaming actually, it's either a horrifying nightmare which haunts me for days if I don't forget it quick enough, or this shit.
>go to sleep
>die in dream
>wake up
>not dead
REEEEE
>>29984954
I've had this too, sort of. How was dying in your dream? For me, I was just kind of a ghost/spectator, but I'm glad it isn't like that irl because fuck that.
i have the same, either I die or fuck girls and cum buckets in sleep
>normies think "based" comes from a shitty rapper
www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Based
http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/based-god
>>29984877
>kym
eliminate yourself
>>29984877
Where does it come from?
>>29984877
But it does
Original commento
Alright robots. I know you will call me a fag for this, but I just want some advice
>hit prostate last week
>cum while hitting prostate, best orgasm ever BTW
>lube again today
>get hard and start fingering prostate
>cum and pull my finger out and there is blood
>ohshit.jpg
>wash off finger and start worrying about risks and sepsis
What are the odds robots? Please do I need to go to the hospital?
It's just some dead muscosa lining. Like scratching off flakes from your skin.
>>29984857
maybe from your rim, because you pushed too hard... like when taking a big enough dump, that your asshole rips.
but just in case ask a doctor, mastrubating n shit shouldn't be that embarassing to be honest, when talking to a doctor of medicin
(forgive me for my fucked up english)
>>29984881
The bleeding is on the wall of the prostate. The bleeding stopped btw. I know we have high immunity to our own bacteria, I'm still scared though. No pain or anything rn.
>2:41AM
>doggo just pooed in the house
>act like i dont notice it so i dont have to clean it up
>mom will find it in the morning
who else here /mischief/?
>>29984836
I do stuff like this too, but with my retard brother instead of a dog.
Every time I do that when I go down for mid night snacks and find out the cat puked and aimed its shit wrong.
>>29984836
>>29984866
i do this with my cat vomiting on the carpet. happens pretty frequently.
i was delighted to see this OP.
>Girl actually likes me
>She's a no sex before marriage Mormon
>She isn't that attractive
>>29984811
Sorry, unless you are Alpha Chad or have lots of money (preferably both), you will not get the qt of your dreams, it just isn't going to happen. Women are greedy creatures. You will have to settle for shit or just swear them off for good. Beggars can't be choosers.
>>29984811
>She's a no sex before marriage Mormon
>except for Chad, his normie friends, basically everyone who are not you
I'd go for it. Mormons are a bit nutty but at least they still believe in that ideal moral life of days gone by.
I will no longer have internet on the first of August, until I find a job. Parents are getting it cut off because they feel it's why I'm such a loser.
What games can I install besides Minecraft that are fun to play offline?
Try Just Cause 3 .
>>29984725
Old School games; Close Combat (Just get them all)
New ones; Fallout (Just get them all) Bioshock if you haven't played them all
Get procedurally generated games, especially rogue-likes.
Some I enjoy; Dungeon of the endless, roguelands, Terraria, Bound by Flames, endless space, witcher series,
what are the actual odds of a 20 year old girl never having masturbated/had an orgasm? i think i might have found one irl
>>29984720
I FOUND ONE TOO!!
>"It just felt weird and never worked for me"
>mfw
>>29984720
I think I know one too
But dont consider that an asset because fuck that
its usually the religious types
or my ex who was/is basically asexual
>>29984720
When i was 17 i dated a girl that had never masterbated before or sex but she was 16 so a couple years younger than what your talking about but is i never fucked her she probably would had stayed a virgin for 4 more years
>You will never rub your used fleshlight on your sisters face
https://u.pomf.is/hwmkry.mp4
Why live?
Who is this insemination station?
>nee-chan would probably beat me if I did it
Feels bad, man
>>29984703
>https://u.pomf.is/hwmkry.mp4
>Why is it wet?
Where the fuck is the rest?
Daily reminder that enslaved black people were the real fathers of our nation.
>>29984673
Hello, tumblr. By the way, I'm from Russia and don't know about which "our" nation are you speaking.
>>29984700
4chan is an American website, slavboi.
>>29984714
Fuck you, pindos. 4chan is slav clay now.
>paranoid schizophrenic
>ADHD
>probably bipolar too
>reject and despise love
>enjoy nothing
>think humans are bizarre and avoid them
>simply exist and feel dead inside or on autopilot
>never had any dreams or ambitions
>forget stuff all the time
>dissociate all the time and think about literally nothing
Tell me again I how you are robot.
>>29984631
I am bipolar too, anon, and recognize some other stuff you are dealing with from family members.
The best advice I got from people was to try and be happy in the moment.
You see, people like us aren't satisfied with the underwhelming nature of our reality, so we build our own realities in our head.
Now other people might give a thousand and one names for it but that doesn't matter.
What matter is is that we will never be happy by external things like receiving love or material things or 'achieving perso al goals', all we will ever be is content at the best, with this boring human experience.
>>29984671
Someone's manic.
>>29984710
Could be, but I feel like this most of the time, and I think a lot of robots do, too.
Like I said you can call it whatever you want but it doesn't make it less true.
>Tfw I'll never participate in a military coup.
Am I the only one who has this feel? History was being made in Turkey tonight (sure, it didn't end well but it happened). History is always being made in other countries and all I can do is sit here and watch it from far away.
>>29984629
>tfw i want to start a new american revolution and i talk about it all the time but no one else takes it seriously or wants to do it anyway
where's my revolutionaries at?
No I just want my NEETbucks
>>29984629
Join the military then
Ok so how do I tell this .
Last night I had a blowjob (actually two) for the first time but they turned out to be maybe 3/4 as good as any given fap.
Is that my fault? Should I tense my schlong and put some effort into it?
Or is it the girls' fault for being shit at it? We're kind of in love so I wouldn't tell her straight up.
Or is it my fault for having a penis in a shape that is not conducive to sexual pleasure?
I need answers, robotic brothers/sisters
>>29984624
>answers, robot
not about blowjobs, sorry
>>29984624
sounds like you got the death grip stroke
>the girl was shit, unless it was a slut
>>29984624
welcome to sex senpai
takes me ages to cum from blowjob
yeh womens skill level will vary immensely. dont be afraid to give instructions or use her like a toy
Whats lower in society. The beta virgin male or the fat ugly woman?
>>29984594
Us I'm afraid. We're less wanted, we're more disposable.
>>29984594
Fat woman thread?
>>29984634
Those women have unacceptable fat levels. But I think these threads are gradually increasing my tolerance threshold.
>big brother can I sleep in your bed?
>>29984564
>big brother
for you
>>29984564
I don't know, CAN you?
you little shit
>>29984564
go away I already have company
