Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 3992. page
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>tfw your boyfriend is so jealous, he doesn't want you coming on /r9k/ and talking to malebots
>>27800911
Your fault for falling for an insecure faggot. Some guys are confident and trusting enough to not let this phase them.
>fembot
Just stop
>tfw bf is an excellent kisser
What's pissing you off tonight, robots?
I lost a McDonald's coupon and my little sister head-butted me in the nuts.
I'm going to prison for 5 years. Just waiting for them to pull the trigger and tell me when.
Too nervous to fuck my girl.
>tfw virgin
>>27800839
My ex moved on... Good for her I guess.
Sorry about your balls.
>he sticks his tongue all the way out when about to eat something
>he's straight, but willing to do gay stuff to satisfy his horniness or to get attention and not because he is actually interested in a gay relationship
>he thinks people who play "Second Life" are weird
>when out in public and he needs to fart he'll pretend to shoplift something to alert the security alarms so the loud alarm will mask the sound of his farting
>when he orders food at a restaurant and something is wrong with his order, he's too shy to ask the staff to correct his order
>his idea of hanging out is letting others decide what to do and he just tags along
>whenever he meets someone new that's female or gay, he imagines himself in a relationship with them despite the fact that a friendship has hardly been formed
>he doesn't like buying albums because "I only ever like 1 or 2 songs from an album or artist so I don't bother buying full albums"
>he can't solve basic problems using Python
>he can't watch a movie without feeling bored or sleepy
>he can't watch subtitled shows/movies because he has trouble paying attention to what's happening onscreen if he has to read
A lifetime of anime has prepared me for watching a show with subtitles.
>when out in public and he needs to fart he'll pretend to shoplift something to alert the security alarms so the loud alarm will mask the sound of his farting
kek
>he's a cosplayer
Itt we wait for dark souls 3 to come out tonight
I've never played any of the dark souls games. Am I missing out on something special?
>>27800417
It depends entirely on the kind of game you enjoy, but even then disregarding the gameplay they are by any metric (one far more than two) very well designed games with well told, subtle stories.
People often describe them as 3D metroid-vania.
Although it does annoy me when fanboys go on about how hard they are, they're no harder than basically any game that came out pre-2006. They're unforgiving and don't hold your hand like many modern games, but that just makes victory all the more satisfying.
I won't be able to play til tomorrow night, Im getting a physical copy and I don't do the midnight release thing anymore
It's been tough but I also managed to stay fairly unspoiled, all I know is Andre is back
>Married for 25 years
>file for divorce against her
>she claims abuse
>harrasses and assaults me
>threatens me with having me arrested
>destroys my stuff and tells lies about me to everyone
>lose all family and most friends
>get kicked out of my home by a judge
>homeless until a work friend helped me
>back to court again
>her lawyer says I'm filth in court
>lose 30% of my salary to my ex
>lose house, car and the house contents
>lose my pension
>now looking at leaving town and renting a one bedroom apartment
>>27799845
Bahaha cuck OP. Get your bitch in place you idiot. Glad you got BTFO'd.
you spent 25 years with the woman and somehow didn't know how fucking evil she was?
you're an idiot and deserved it
a better man wouldn't marry such a bitch
I won't. I won't even get into LTRs. 27 year old here and the most I'd spend on a ho' is 3 months 4 tops
How many robots have tried MDMA?
It lets you feel what it's like to be genuinely, truly happy, at least for a while
Otherwise robot drug general, I'm experienced, rolling, and enjoy answering questions
utterly shameless self bumpbloxxxx
I have tried it a few times, every time I went to a club, got over-excited on the dance floor and had some grumpy Chad's try to fight me because of it. Would not recommend.
>>27799673
Tried half a pill once.
A fat girl gave it to me.
It made her seem attractive and I fell for it.
Felt bad for the next few days.
I would much much much rather do LSD:
ITT: your most shameful fetish.
Pic related is mine thanks to a thread yesterday (castration fetish)
Traps.
I don't care if it's gay.
I'm never going to have the opportunity to fuck a real woman, let alone a trap.
Might as well fap freely.
what.. the fuck is that...
bloxblox
>>27798894
Timestamp fagotron
Why are you guys still posting pepes? He's old and done for, he's a normie meme now
We need something new
what mean im a normie help
Pepe is very comfy. I like Pepe
>>27798850
Ratchet hoes don't give a fawk.
Where can I find a gf who is very lazy and likes to play games all day but also isn't fat?
>>27798745
In your imagination family
those ones with the fast metabolism
they're so much better i know some.
>>27798745
>Plays video games all day
>Isn't fat
Please choose one
How goes the job hunt, robots?
>spent last week completely redoing my resume
>sent 15 applications over the weekend
>just got a call from one of them asking if I can come in for an interview this week
>>27798708
70s applications and 4 interviews before I got my job
>it's food service
I want a new job, but idk how to explain why I want to quit without sounding like a bad worker
>>27798708
Post blurred pic for tips>>27798708
Post blurred pic for tips
How do you write a resume if you've never worked a job in your life?
![2000px-Antifasistische_Aktion_logo.svg[1].png](https://i.imgur.com/9RYWrw7.png "2000px-Antifasistische Aktion logo.svg[1]")
What have you done to combat fascism, /r9k/?
>he doesn't even slash nazi demonstrators' car tyres
>Laughing_Revolutionaries.exe
Nothing, I do my own thing.
>>27797911
i troll and derail /pol/ threads to oblivion, causing massive butthurt among the manchildren and their stormfag puppetmasters.
btw, my local town's ultra-right wing mayor is coming to town tomorrow. how do i paintbomb it without getting noticed?
>>27797911
I spread syndicalist shitposting knowledge on /pol/
Most leftists are normies so I don't connect much in real life being an anxiety ridden KV
>tfw no revolutionary gf
Play or sing or whatever something and it here using http://www.vocaroo.com/
Judge each other by what each plays, or just have a chat
My try: http://vocaroo.com/i/s03ghYSZzher
Messed up the end especially, so I kinda gave up
>tfw can't play for shit.
>>27797855
If you have an instrument, and you like it, just play it
Just try to have fun with it, you'll get good eventually
>>27797740
>metal
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0fZedipsQGx
List of reasons why you never had a girlfriend:
(If you had one, get out, normie.)
>>27797189
too coward to confess
First it was because I was a NEET
Now it's because I was a NEET for so long that I no longer have any semblance of a personality or conversational skills
>>27797189
Because I'm extremely beta, socially awkward and insecure about everything.
most autistic things you've done?
>me 16
>burn pizza
>bury it in garden so parents won't find out
>>27797054
I've got a similar story:
>summer vacation
>want a snack
>look through cupboard
>figure I'll have some popcorn
>put it in the microwave for 3 minutes since bag said 2.5-3 minutes
>dad calls
>asks how I'm doing
>"I'm fine I'm just heating up some popcorn"
>"okay just make sure to watch it so you don't burn it"
>I was in the other room on the phone with him
>"sure no problem"
>"ok see you later"
>hang up
>popcorn's been done for maybe a minute
>go to get it
>smoke fucking shoots out as soon as I open the door
>choking on smoke
>can barely breath
>open the back door to let the smoke out
>alarms go off
>freak out and think it's the fire alarm
>just our home security system
>run to go disarm it
>it's across the house
>bag is on fire in the microwave
>run all the way back
>pick up the bag and throw it outside
>turn all the fans on and A/C
>dad calls
>"hey i got a text that the alarm went off is everything okay"
>"uhhhhh yeah the popcorn was expired and stunk real bad so I opened the door to air out the kitchen"
>"...okay?"
>"yeah"
>"well the electricians will be there in like thirty minutes"
>"o-oh okay"
>hang up
>go get the charred bag
>run some water on it
>throw it in the garbage outside
>house smells like fire
>burn marks in the microwave
>electricians show up
>ask what the smell is
>dad eventually comes home
>starts coughing as soon as he walks in
>he knew
>I've denied it ever since
>he still knows
>he always brings up the stain in the microwave from the fire
>I deny it
So that's my story about how I fucked up popcorn.
I keep a log in notepad for when I physically touch another human being.
I used to make "chili soup" as a kid which was nothing more than chili flakes boiled in hot water.
>tfw you realize you are a generic healslut/support in every game you have played
I even managed to play thousands and thousands of matches as a supporting role even though the game had no real support/heal role
fug
>>27796263
B E T A
E
T
A
cuck
Aww anon you're so sweet hunny <3
Me too
I feel lewd
![latest[2].gif](https://i.imgur.com/nMNvc2b.gif "latest[2]")
