Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 575. page
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Look at your own tongue.
Does it have a layer of white on top of it?
How is it that porn stars have great looking tongues for money shots while we have not perfectly red tongues?
>>29771557
It's called oral hygiene. Give it a try sometime
>>29771557
speak for yourself you pig
go brush your teeth once in a while
>>29771557
>Look at your own tongue.
>Does it have a layer of white on top of it?
>How is it that porn stars have great looking tongues for money shots while we have not perfectly red tongues?
You are just dehydrated.
Hi /r9k/ can I draw something for you? Just ask me what do you want me to draw. please ask silly things
>>29771499
Please draw a cactus being carried away by some balloons
draw me a merchant
>>29771499
a zombie and a female necromancer hugging it out
puns about "necromancer" and "romancer" would be appreciated
>Decide to lose my virginity to an escort today
>Find a pretty bitch, don't have a car so opt for an incall
>Call her up, she has a nice voice, discuss that it'll take 20 minutes to get to my house
>Spend 20 minutes a nervous wreck
>She eventually shows up, I can tell she actually might be the girl in the picture, but +40 pounds
>Absolutely fucking HATE fatties
>She gets the door, same voice all giddy
>"Ok Tyrone I made it to the guys house"
>Oh FuckFuckFuck
>Tell her I never ordered an escort
>"Tyrone this kids fucking with me"
>Tell her I think a friend might have called her to my house as a prank, but she recognize my voice
>Keep with the friend lie
>She spent 60$ on a babysitter
>It's ok I'll just give Tyrone your adress
>I live with my mom so that's not an option
>"No, no please, I can pay you for driving down but I'm fucking broke (half true) and I didnt ask my friend to call you in"
>End up paying 40 bucks to not get beat up by a pimp LITERALLY NAMED TYRONE
Welp guess I'll just be a virgin, don't wanna keep wasting money and time trying to get my dick wet cause this is the third time I've went to one that turned out to be fake, even though the first two were incalls so I never risked pimps coming and fucking up my shit
Also, what do?
>>29771452
Opt for an outcall**
>>29771452
What was tyrone there for anyways? Was he gonna cuck you?
>>29771549
He was on the phone
Why can't I find large tits and wide hips attractive?
You can.
Stop letting faggots here sway your opinion.
You're either gay or a pedophile. Maybe both.
>>29771407
you're a low testosterone beta
>group of girls at party think I'm a shy beta loser
>they are right
>go take a piss
>try to go back to kitchen
>one of them mockingly blocks the doorway going "whats up anon!?"
>her two friends giggle behind her
>feel sudden power surge
>grab her arm, slap her ass and tell her to go take up space somewhere else
>why the fuck did I do that
>weak spaghetti knees
>people look at us
>she just leaves with her friends while mumbling to herself
>nothing happens, drink another beer
>nobody mentions it
>also leave
Nobody did anything, I expected her to totally bitch out at me. Am I the village chief now?
>>29771400
Without seeing their faces I couldn't tell you. They could be in utter shock because you don't seem like that sort of person.
No you are not village cheif. But believe it or not you handled that situation rather well. The ass slap was a little much, can get you in trouble depending on the setting, but at a party that behaviour is typically all well and good. She was giving you shit, you gave it back and it ended at that. She just wasn't expecting it so she is all in a huff.
>>29771400
are you secretely a chad anon?
>mfw I realised you only need $450000 of capital to earn 1.5k a month after taxes
Almost 1/2 of the way anons. 24 y/o now plan to retire at 30. Any other anons doing early retirement extreme? Fuck living the rest of my life like a wagekek. Frugal tips and tricks are appriciated
>>29771375
Take a few percentage points to reinvest as you move forwards, I'm sure you will but that's my advice..
You could always buy property and rent it out since you have the capital.. had a friend who bought a condo and rented it out.. now he has 3 condos he rents and his own house.
He was working at the time, but he will certainly retire early because of his investments. Sometimes risky investments are better than the retirement style long term stuff.
>wehavethisthreadeveryday.png
>$450000
i will most likely not earn even 10% of this in my lifetime
Who /alternatepersonality/ here?
>>29771360
>/alternatepersonality/
>not samefagging your own thread for bants
you lost out
>>29771678
but what if that is happening RIGHT NOW
Pretending to be a girl on the internet doesn't mean you have an "alternate personality"
>tfw you remember the girl from school who you probably could have fucked
>>29771324
shit mang I don't need this feel right now
she was a cute tomboy
I was too big of a sperg to act
FeelsBadMan.jpg even after all this years
There were a bunch for me. Was to dense to realize girls don't randomly hug guys they have no interest in.
>tfw there was a cute girl who got caught making out with her boyfriend on campus and who was apparently extremely horny.
>tfw you find out after you graduate from a friend of hers that she used to have a big crush on you but was too shy to do anything.
Shit. Maybe there were others too. I did technically get asked out a few times but I always thought it was just a friendly gesture.
>women
>human
Don't ever fall for this meme
>>29771271
>Kinesiologyorignae1l
>>29771690
I know a girl who went into that
so what about it?
>>29771271
>only 521 followers
Does she even know how to whore? kek
Am I a chad /r9k/
Unequivocally, no.
Yeah, totally
Comment is certified original
>>29771239
looks like a beta cuck
original
This music video was illegal in the U.S. for a few months. It's back up now. What do you think, guys?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GqsWkDmZ20s
>>29771223
It's so gay it makes me confused and uncomfortable.
Its nothing like the tasteless fags we have now though. Great song.
>illegal in the U.S.
why? when?
>>29772025
Long time ago when it first came out because being homosexual wasn't a thing
Underage get off
>posted my email on r9k and asked fembots to msg me so I could practice talking to girls
>tfw didn't even get spammed by robotsI must be shadowbanned r-right guys?
>>29771204
Post email and ass pics
>>29771204
i would talk to you but I'm really insecure and boring.s-sorry anon
Alright so with all the mass shootings and terrorist attacks, it has me thinking... Why do these people, who spend years planning this shit and thousands of dollars, only end up killing like 5 people before they are stopped? It's fucking pathetic (but good in a sense I guess). Hell, with $5000 you could potentially create something horrifically catastrophic. So why hasnt there been an actual large-scale terrorist attack yet? Besides the Oklahoma bombing and 9/11 we have been extremely lucky in my opinion. Or maybe the government stops this shit at an alarmingly frequent rate. What do you guys think?
Didnt someone just kill ten times that?
I suspect there's a huge overlap between being willing to commit terrorism and being completely fucking retarded.
>>29771134
Most of this isn't planned far in advance. If you're talking about bombs it is hard to make one large enough to kill dozens and also place it in a location where it will have maximum impact. Most bombs are designed to kill up to about 5 people, although some large attacks have been carried out using bombs like OK city or Beirut barracks bombing.
>>29771208
As this guy said it's easier to get an automatic weapon to kill people and take hostages so that they are killed in the crossfire during the final shootout.
The people who do some of these attacks are pretty delusional about how effective they'll be. The people carrying out these attacks are some combination of stupid and mentally ill.
>be me
>19, robot
>no job, no gf
>play vidya all day and jerk off ten times a day, etc.
>get desperately lonely, start chatting up girls on MapleStory
>this one grill actually keeps talking to me
>exchange contact information
>she actually lives near me
>add on FB, actually asian qt
>oh shit
>too fucking beta to ask her out 1on1 so I invite her to hang out with my somewhat autistic friends
>goes well until my chad thundercock friend starts hitting it off with her
>she starts talking to me less and talking to him more
>2 weeks later
>they're pretty much dating and I'm back to chatting up randoms on MapleStory
Help a betacuck anon out
lost cause
>>29771119
why? just why op?
>caring about not having a job and gf
why the fuck cant you guys learn to not care about it, i enjoy my life without them, i have lots of free time to do stuff i like like, being on computer and other crap like walking outside
Fembots, how much do you actually care about looks?
Do you hold potential partners to a high degree, only date them if they fulfill a specific criteria, or is every case unique?
How does your ideal partner looks and what have your past partners looked like?
>>29771112
>Fembots, how much do you actually care about looks?
everyone cares about looks to a certain extent. there is no way a relationship could work if you completely lack sexual attraction to the other person.
>Do you hold potential partners to a high degree, only date them if they fulfill a specific criteria, or is every case unique?
i used to, or maybe even still do, hold high standard unwittingly. i used to think "he needs to be tall, on the thinner side, have a sort of dazed indie rock musician look going for him". and then i met the guy i'm currently seeing, who's barely an inch taller than me and on the larger side, and all that stuff i used to think about seems really silly. it's definitely more of a unique case thing now.
>How does your ideal partner looks and what have your past partners looked like?
i guess i don't really have an ideal partner, i just have to be attracted. i suppose the more important things that i would never change are that he has to be white, maybe asian, not shorter than me, also not bordering on obese.
>>29771415
How tall are you/your bf?
>>29772066
i'm just over 5'5 and i think he's 5'6
