Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 571. page
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People with big juicy butts how do I get a big juicy butt?
I just want to make guys jealous and girls wanting to squeeze it. I'm 5'10 and 130lbs is there a way to gain weight that will make all of it go to my butt?
>>29773555
do weighted squats, progressively increasing weight each workout, and eat extra food each day, more than you normally would
Do squats and sumo deadlifts.
I'm a fit guy with a butt that makes most girls jealous.
>>29773606
I know this is pants on head retarded, but is there a way to make thighs grow slower than butt? I want decent thighs with a fat butt
If I became a fit chad with money, but I have no friends or social life to speak of, would women want me?
if you have no social life you have no visibility.
Yes, but you would still have to approach.
>>29773511
You can imply a social life without actually having one.
Don't have any social media to speak of, occasionally text or call back immediately and other times take a few hours to a day. Have someone else's shoes by your door for no reason. Go missing (to her) for like a weekend every month and one weekday every four or five weeks.
Girls don't assume the worst like men do, they'll think you're going off to magical lands spending boatloads of cash on other girls who are prettier than them. Just don't account for yourself and don't be 100% available.
>be me
>talking to 8/10 QT
>how's your day going
>what I want to say:
"oh you know I've been jerking off to /b/ and playing cs:go since I woke up, so you know... Pretty shitty"
>what I really say
"Oh you know, fine"
>why does life suck so bad
>>29773510
Ebin bost my friend, have an ubvode :FDDDDDDDD
>>29773510
I love this meme
I am gonna screencap this and post it on /r/4chan
>Finally muster the courage to talk to my oneitis
>Ask her "Yo, remember that time (Insert funny event here) happened?"
10 minutes later she replies
>Was that meant for me or did you send it to the wrong person?
Fucking kill me bros
Why do some of you guys hate when girls wear these, again?
It is practically free eye candy. They have become pretty popular where I live so I basically get to stare at women's asses all day. It is great.
Those aren't yoga pants, They are leggings. Just because some Jew decided to make them out of spandex and sell them as pants, doesn't mean they are yoga pants. Actual yoga pants are very loose and Capri length. And self balancing scooters aren't hoverboards. Get off of here normie.
>B...b...but anon, I wear these for comfort, not to show off my butt!
>OH HEY CHAD, HOW'S IT GOING? LIKE MY BUTT?
>>29773496
>lecturing him about fashion
>he is the normalfag
hmm
>just swallowed the sticker on an apple
Anyone else done this before and will I be ok?
I EAT STICKERS ALL THE TIME, DUDE!
>>29773429
If you were trying to kill yourself, you'll live.
If you just wanted an apple, RIP in peace.
This picture = OP at the moment
Isn't Jeffrey Dahmer so handsome?
>>29773402
>Isn't Jeffrey Dahmer so handsome?
fuck off roasty
too bad he was a manlet
>>29773441
>6 foot
>manlet
Yeah, no.
Why is this shit so fucking violent? Is Berserk the definition of ultraviolence or something? Seriously, not even GoT comes close to the stuff in this.
Should I watch the new anime /r9k/?
>>29773578
No, the animation is shit, the Berserk musou game looks better and has a higher frame rate but it's not out yet and is a musou game
>>29773383
>Is Berserk the definition of ultraviolence
Yes. This is an edgy 90's manga. It's pretty good though. I like the idea of man becoming superhuman by defying fate. "The Struggler" indeed.
I just moved to a city that is pretty much 70% or more arab/nigger population. I moved here for work and have to live in this neighbourhood because it's all I can afford. I drive to work but sometimes I walk to the shops or around a park nearby. I'm pretty much always the only white guy. I'm a bit concerned that they will jump me some day.
What the fuck do I do then?
I go to the gym and I'm tall, I have a beard and dress in black hoodies. But if a pack of these fuckers jump me, or even just one jumped up nigga, what the fuck do I do? I don't know any martial arts, I don't own a weapon, I've never been in a fight. I feel like I couldn't just give them all I got because I don't like submission.
What do you do for protection in these dangerous times?
>>29773276
Get a car, leave nothing valuable in it, not even a stereo.
Move immediately into the car when going places.
Dont carry anything valuable out, empty your wallet of any real cash or important shit, not even phone.
Learn to run
>>29773276
sounds like luton.
>>29773276
Europe? Looking intimidating should be enough, i'd recommend being ready to run fast. You can't really fight a group of people. You should try getting acquainted with locals at the pub, or your neighbours. Knowing people in the area would be the safest bet.
what is it like to have autism?
pic not related
>>29773268
Horrible
I just want an autist gf to sperg out with
it depends
for me it makes me overthink everything i do and super anxious. it's hard to focus on things i dont find interesting. i don't like looking people in the eye or expressing my emotions.
i have it very mildly though and have led a normal life with friends/parties/college all included. it helps being physically attractive and having a higher than average iq :)
It's being disliked by everyone and not really knowing why. Every treats you like you're slow when your only issue is inability to express yourself. you either power through it or crumple in on yourself.
>she has no morals
>she wears revealing clothing
>she describes herself as quiet, shy, nerdy, or a loner
>she is overly vulgar in public
>she listens to rap and/or hip hop
>she has male friends
>she uses tumblr/facebook/twitter etc
>she has daddy issues
>she's into ddlg
>she has no self-respect
>she expresses any interest in polyamory
>she describes herself as bisexual, pansexual, asexual (these turn out to be the biggest sluts)
>she believes mainstream media
>she has poor hygiene
>she watches game of thrones
>she's into yaoi
>she doesn't read
>she says politics doesn't affect her
>she has a steam account
>she plays league of legends
>she goes to bars and clubs
>she's not a virgin
>she talks shit about her family
>she has tattoos
>she dresses like an off duty porn star
>she "has more guy friends because girls are drama"
>she has piercings on anywhere but ears
>she always compares you to her ex, whether good or bad
>she still talks to ex and hangs out with him
>she's always going out instead of staying home and reading a good book or watching TV while talking to you
>>29773247
I only check two of your red flags:
>describes herself as shy or quiet
>describes herself as bisexual
(but i just find women attractive. i don't see what's wrong with that)
>asexual
Never trust bitches who say that shit, it's biologically impossible.
Guys I somehow talked my way into gang banging pic related tonight and I'm nervous as hell now
Any advice on both calming down and actually being able to get it up in that situation and not cum early
>>29773210
wear a condom, and take a viagra. you'll last 5x longer.
That is one of the most disgusting women I've ever seen. Couldn't pay me to fuck her.
>>29773522
That's a man, isn't it?
Come on r9k, fuck originality, just let me post
Just to be clear, no one in STEM actually enjoys their job right?
The work is so me oak and dry. You're never going to be the one who makes that breakthrough, discovers a planet or redesigns the computer.
It seems like the only reason people do it is muh 60k starting.
>>29773178
So menial and dry
>>29773178
>Just to be clear, no one in STEM actually enjoys their job right?
just to be clear, nobody anywhere enjoys their job. Probably 99% of people would rather not have to work than have to work, the 1% being people like male porn stars
but STEM jobs can be pretty cool. designing or making things often requires a lot of stem type work
Are you trying to say that doing the same thing over and over for years can lead to mental exhaustion? No shit.
You will be burnt out in any field, might as well earn well
>tfw being ghosted by girl who agreed to go on date with you this weekend
fuck this
>tfw I've ghosted all my friends
>some still occasionally text to try to reestablish ties
>I feel loved for an instant
>but still don't reply
>sorry my family has plans
>ok how about this date then
>yeah sounds great
>sorry my family has plans
>ok how about this date then
>yeah sounds great
>sorry my family has plans
>ok how about this date then
>yeah sounds great
>sorry my family has plans
>ok how about this date then
>yeah sounds great
>tfw getting a pocket dial from someone you had a long distance relationship with for two years
>tfw no girl will ever kick me in the balls
Ever been kicked in the nuts robots ? Stories ?
Best way to hit myself in the nuts ?
>wanting to get kicked in nuts
>>29773267
Yeah I know. Its the most humiliating thing that can happen to a guy so maybe thats why I want it. It doesn't even have to be a girl.
>>29773099
>>29773378
>thinking any girl would a guy who wants to get kicked in the balls
Which do women prefer?
A) Lower bodyfat with no muscle (left)
B) Higher bodyfat with a lot of muscle (right)
Pay no attention to faces.
>>29773041
I like the left more, but I'm a fatty. Skinny guys usually don't like fat girls.
really it ALL depends on face, and personality 2nd, after that its all about preference
>>29773041
>a lot of muscle
Top kek, did you fall for the ss gomad meme?
Take this to /fit/
Get big, then cut back, or Iean bulk. Whats so hard about that?
