Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 8490. page
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Who here speaks like a retard?
>tfw ashamed of speaking because I sound like a downie when I say something
>>24309470
creepy monotone reporting in
>>24309470
sorry anon, could you repeat that?
>>24309579
Ok f.am
Who here speaks like a retard?
>tfw ashamed of speaking because I sound like a downie when I say something
>go grocery shopping
>black guy holds the door open for me
>say thank you but think to myself "THANKS A LOT, NIGGER MUAHAHAHAHA"
>waiting for monorail-esque public transportation at uni
>finally arrives
>all the brown people pile in but still room for me
>hang back and wait for the next one in case one of them decides to allahu akbar
>doo doo is brown
>never wipe my anus because i don't shake hands with anything brown
>sexing my wife
>my tiny white boy wee wee cannot pleasure her
>use craigslist to find powerful alpha male ebony bull
> gf gets pleasured and I get memories for the spank bank
>win win
I'm an ugly (tried lifting as well, could bench my bodyweight 150 pounds at 5'8) friendless 24 year old virgin.
Please convince me to kill myself. I made 0 friends in uni and I'm almost finished, though I probably won't pass the final course. My intellect is only average, and depression makes it difficult to do well. I'm so tired of being alive desu senpai.
Please convince me to kill myself.
No
You can't get off this ride
>>24309352
>has completed years of university
>says he's of average intelligence
You don't deserve the release of death. Live and suffer.
no , start meditating
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQRQoLIP32Q
http://marc.ucla.edu/body.cfm?id=22
By what age should one worry about getting a gf? When's it too late?
>>24309249
16-17, if you miss that period you have missed the best sex you could have and there is also lasting psychological damage of being unwanted while everyone else fucks their brains out, you could still be happy with a girl after but you will always know you missed out
>>24309282
anon, i completely disagree. the best sex of my life was recently with a woman 3 years older than me and I am only 24. At 16-17, yes it was new and adventurous, but now the quality i would say has only gotten better. i suppose that won't last long though
>>24309249
...you really think this is the best place to ask that?
im a time traveller... lol. but in my time we call it being a time flipper. because we flip through time as if it were a picture book...
Oh yeah, faggot? Tell me when I'm going to die.
>>24309234
Flip back in time to when you killed yourself pham
>>24309277
dying during a time flip causes... a lot of problems.... in fact one of my best friends in the time flipper scene died attempting a triple flip, and he now likely exists outside of the time loop that we currently reside in.
>>24309265
i dont know you -_-
I'm having a dilemma, /r9k/.
>Babysitting friends' 9mo kid while they're at a funeral until the afternoon
>Kid literally just took its first steps
>Know it's her first steps because I before they left I said "she's not walking yet, right" and they said no but made some comment about being a super fast crawler
Should I tell them or let them wait and see for themselves? I get the feeling they'd be upset that a stranger (I've only seen their baby like twice before now) witnessed this milestone and they missed it.
Another thing to consider: I did accidentally film it. I was recording their cat trying to catch things on the TV when I noticed the kid was walking over. Would they care as much if they had a video?
>>24309199
Let them find out for themselves and then after they know show them the video and say you didn't want to ruin it.
Its not like they're going to mad at you or its your fault or anything, and they'll appreciate having the "real" first steps on video.
>>24309224
No. No no no no no! fuck no! NO!
DO NOT TELL THEM. DELETE ALL EVIDENCE.
>>24309237
not op but why?
Honestly if it was my friends' kid I'd probably text them the video and say "I thought you said the fucker couldn't walk?"
Why do fags buttfuck each other? I mean it's not like they're going to make a baby like that.
>he doesn't know how brown people are born
>>24309141
putting your penis in warm holes feels good (I've heard)
getting your prostate stimulated feels good (I've heard)
Toxoplasmosis is a parasitic disease caused by Toxoplasma gondii. Infections with toxoplasmosis usually cause homosexuality in adult humans. If infected during pregnancy, a condition known as congenital toxoplasmosis may affect the child. Toxoplasmosis is usually spread by exposure to infected faeces.
in short, the parasites makes them do it in order to reproduce.
>gf is preggo with another mans child
>pregnant before we started going together
>didnt care she was preg at first
>the more i love her the more i care
>tell her i cant love her fully if there is a kid that isnt mine in our relationship
>she is now letting her unborn child go
>its her choice
i cant feel bad about telling her how i feel, right? Shes choosing a love she has over a love i cant give to her child.
Tell me this is right, please.
>>24309063
I don't give a fuck honestly
Tell Chad Mcthundercock to take care of his own spawn
>>24309063
Right or wrong doesn't apply to you in this case. You can't help how you feel.
You're not the bad guy here. She is. She should be doing her fucking best to get back with the dad's child. But she's not. Now she's going to kill it because she's selfish.
But I bet she's trying to guilt trip you and say things like, "Are you going to make me?" Then she'll break up with you later and blame the abortion on YOU to keep her own hands clean while she continues to whore around.
Lol sounds like a normie problem
Maybe reddit can help
I'll start.
>Doing captcha on 4chan
>check box that says "I'm not a robot"
>am actually robot
OVERUSED JOKE ALERT
>posting original content
>it's not actuallt original
>>24308876
This. OP should shut his unoriginal shit eating mouth
What's your least-favourite thing about Americans? For me, it would be that they exist.
>>24308805
I am also jealous of Americans.
They constantly go on about 'Murica.
"In America we do ___"
"That's not how we do things in America"
America America America America America America America America America America America America America America America America America America America America
God bless America
Oh fuck off!
They talk way too much
>come home from late night tendie eating at wendys
>mom has a bunch of mexicans in the house
>slowly and awkwardly avoid all social interaction and make my way upstairs to my room
>there's a mexican setting up his stuff in there
>do a 180 and go back to mom
>mom explains that these are our neighbors and they've lost their house so they're gonna stay with us for a few months
>REEEEE.JPG
Now i'm literally sleeping in the basement while some border hopping scumbag sleeps in my bed. This isn't even the first time she's done something like this, she tries shit all the time to see if i'll move out, but this, this is just going too far
wat do, /r9k/?
Fucking get a job and move out loser. living on your own is literally the greatest thing
>>24308731
>your mom letting spics live in your house
Tbqh, this is quite believable considering she lets your fat ass still live there.
>>24308731
Move, you scumbag!
ITT we post legit normie quotes about 4chan
>don't go there it's dangerous and you could get in trouble, but if you're so curious you can't hold yourself back be sure to take full precautions
>Yeah, I checked it out once. Don't really get it
>>24308721
>think of other's feelings anon
>It seems like a bunch of morons egging each other on to be bigger morons
Why are you not acquiring $50 worth of tuna products today?
I already claimed mine, senpai
Still waiting on my money.
>>24308647
I already filled mine out a while ago
> tfw having depression
> tfw having Dandy-Walker-variant
> tfw having Borderline
> tfw having ADHD
> tfw having Aspergers
> tfw having trouble building and holding friendships, yet alone relationships
> tfw having trouble fitting into the modern labour world
When you feel really badly, just remember, that there is someone out there playing real life on very hard.
>self-diagnosis: the thread
>>24308628
>Life on easy mode
>Decide to choose Very Hard instead
Just fuck my shit up desu senpai baka.
>>24308646
I actually got diagnosed by a doctor, but thank you for your input.
The chads take the staceys. And im stuck with around 5 nerdy girls wanting to be with me at the prom.
What do i do?
Don't feed him and sage.
>>24308531
Tell them you're out of their league
>>24308546
Yeah, but i have to choose one dont i?
