Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 3266. page
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Post normies getting BTFO
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=ccf_1462280879
>>28373576
Grow up, anon. No one is impressed.
>>28373670
bike faggot detected
crash into a truck pussy
>>28373670
>>28373670
What is with these fucking normalfags
holy shit what happened to this place
I was hoping one of you talented perverts could help me with something.
Im talking to/catfishing this girl online and she wants me to tell her a dirty story about what i would do to her.
Now obviously i have plenty of ideas but everytime i write them out i get too horny and it just starts sounding clunky and animalistic. Plus what she wrote is so sensual and well written along with being crazy that i dont just wanna say. "And then id fuck your pussy and cum on your butt gurlll". I was suspense and intrigue and a great buildup but also peppered with nasty perverted shit.
I would really love if you guys could write out well worded sensually suspenseful descriptions of what you would do to pic related (not her but similar looking) the longer and more verbose and nasty the better. When i get nudes i will share them in this thread or make a new one. Or you can leave your email if youre particularly confident in your post and if i pick yours i will choosevone to send exclusively to you.
Tl;dr. Help out with some well written sex stories so i can catfish us all some oc nudes.
Greentext style or regularly written are both fine. And any length will help even if its just one well worded sentence
Bumping w cuties in hope of help. This time its important
Going to keep bumping plzrespond
I just want a gf god dammit. It's literally all i want from life!!
You are asking too much.
Patience, Anon.
Patience.
>>28373540
Just find some QT boy that will give you blowies whenever you want and bro out with you. Same benefits as a girl but without the baggage and drama.
hey r9k, rate my angus pls
>>28373518
Top quality shitter.
8/10 i've seen better desu senpai
>>28373538
>>28373554
thankuu and bump
>Y'see Jimmy, Jim, James, Jimmy. Most of the "victims" of the holohoax were just sick children and elderly who most probably died during typhus epidemics in the camps! The gas-chamber theory quickity quackity just dont make sense!
what did he truely mean by this?
I like these, do you have more?
/pol/ supports this great man
>>28373514
ignoring all historical material, eyewitness testimony, etc. why even herd so many weak innocent children and old people to terribly inefficient concentration camps ridden with typhus? Isn't that still a terrible crime? KL made no real contribution to industry
Story time, lads!
>be me, 22 and living on my own
>gf goes to Cuba with friends to celebrate graduating college
>patiently waiting for her to return so I can give her sweet sweet cuddles once again
>we've barely been communicating this past week because the hotel internet over there is so shitty and she has to pay for it
>know that she's having fun so I try not to take up too much of her time anyway
>a couple days ago she kept disconnecting to go play football with some other Americans she met at the resort
>hasn't talked to me since but keeps uploading photos like this
Am I being cucked, guys? She's coming home tonight and staying at my place because I live near the airport. How can I get her to admit she's been fucking a Chad?
"it was just this one time girl... you shouldnt feel bad.. he wont judge you like that.. he is not THAT kind of a creep!! :)"
i hope you fucking die you normalfag piece of siht
>a Chad
LaughingEmmaWatson.png
>>28373380
Low quality bait desu
When exactly do women shit?
I've never even noticed a hint of it happening or seen a girl spend more than a few minutes in the toilet.
>>28373374
They shit quicker than you do because they go when its practically too late and they don't force it like its putting up a fight.
Also since they sit to piss it's not a differentiated event to them as much as it is with men. Who tend to settle in and take their time.
>>28373374
My area of expertise!
I have been married for nearly a year now and I go to the most OUTRAGEOUS lengths to try to avoid going to the bathroom to poop when he could even walk into the toilet afterward.
I have always been pretty regular as a once-a-day girl, so have adjusted my schedule so I have this time when he is nearly guaranteed to be at work. He leaves before I do, so generally mornings.
On weekends, I wait until he has just joined a game on his computer.
On honeymoon it was quite tricky but my 'never use a public toilet' rule lost out to my 'husbands should not have to know how bad their wives smell' rule and I utilised public restrooms rather than anything in a hotel.
It can be a challenge but some of us do work hard to maintain the illusion that we are mystical non-pooping angels.
>>28373374
my wife goes every morning when she wakes up.
me 2 tbo but while it's less healthy to do so, men like to sit on the toilet longer and are more likely to have problems that retard the pooping.
>that feel when 4chan has shaped your personality in the most important years of your development
Only death cures the fool
What is you definition of the most important years of your development ?
life is just terrible, isn't it?
Two normies that I met through my childhood friend have both gotten DUI's within the past 3 months. One of them is a chad who lives at home and works with his mommy, and the other one is the ultimate cuck, the kind of guy who hangs out with 3-4 girls at a time but is never able to smash any of them due to his short height and deformed features.
Having been to the bar with these guys a few times, one could tell that they were fairly popular. Someone would always recognize them, and many shots were had on their behalf
According to my childhood friend, nobody has associated themselves with these guys since their separate DUI's have happened. Chad sits in his room all day taking shrooms, smoking weed, and gaining weight. Cuck had 3 girls in his car when he got his DUI, and apparently he cried in front of them.
Cuck and Chad decided to throw a party this past Saturday. They sent out a mass group text , and also sent out Facebook invites(got my invite through FB). Only 4 people out of the 38 invited showed up. 2 of those 4 people were Chad and Cuck.
FEELS. SO. GOOOOOOOOOD
OP are you a teenager? There is no way you are over 16.
>never /fit/
>never /fat/ in high school
>just average
>get teased by some faggot
>see him years after high school
>my body is the same
>he is getting really fat
Always feels good to see normies at their lowest. You can almost see all of their insecurities come out at once
>chad who lives at home and works with his mommy
Xplain
>>28373347
Fuck off normie
What are casual shoes normies wear? I got invited by some work people and this could be my chance to break out of being a robot.
Get some Nike Janoski Max
>>28373833
Aren't Nikes running shoes? We're just gonna walk around in a city, I think.
Unless Nike makes casual shoes now? I haven't had to look presentable for anyone in a long time, so I have no idea what's in right now.
>>28373255
wear some Pussy Swimmers (pic related) when you wear em youll be swimming in pussy man.
>the current year
>not having a fetish that scares away wymen
>_>
I'm on the other side of that.
Men don't like hearing that I'd be disgusted to be impregnated by them but would love if a monster did it. Can't really blame them.
>>28373303
>I think men are disgusting
>WHY DONT GUYS LIKE THAT
Gee, what a mystery.
It's not the monster pregnancy part that puts people off, retard.
>>28373303
Am I the only gril That wants a monster impregnation me and just use me for his sex breeding toy.
>tfw been saying "mehlk" my whole life to denote the creamy delicious substance
>make a friend last year at the end of high school
>he asks if I want a glass of "mihlk"
>assume he's talking about "mehlk"
>say yes
>come home
>contemplating this shit for a whole year
Which is it?
>>28373210
It's Milk you fucking freak
malk
>>28374641Now with vitamin R!
>tfw starting to outgrow 4chan
I've had that before, it'll pass. You're here forever.
c u tomorrow
>>28373195
>norseman high schooler thinks he's outgrown 4chan
You'll be back. They always come back.
who /Hemicorporectomy/ here?
Looks like an uncanny facemod from skyrim.
No idea what I'm looking at but I immediately saved the picture to my "Horrors" folder.
>>28373188
if doctors have the right to do this, why i don't have the right to ask for lethal injection?
post your stats
>20 years old
>indian heritage
>5 inch dick
>five foot six
>glasses
>big nose
>skinny fat
>
Same but Bangladeshi and 5'5, at least I have freinds so being an eternal virgin won't be as bad
>>28373159
>25
>black
>7 inch dick
>6 feet tall
>27
>Irish/Austrian heritage
>never measured my dick, but suffice it to say, I'm content with its size
>5'8''
>contacts
>big nose
>skinny fat
Am I doing it right?
