Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 3275. page
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>get prescribed adderall
>become a god of social interaction on them
>able to carry on conversations IRL with literally anyone even cute girls where before I would just be awkwardly silent
>pop 3 times my normal dose and add a girl on skype
>do everything absolutely perfectly
>get ignored after 10 minutes
I am convinced that keeping a girl's attention on the internet is literally impossible unless youre a hung Chad. I literally did everything right. Every message I sent was planned and perfectly executed. The only thing I did not do was be an ottermode hunk and start waving around my 9 inch dick on cam.
The Internet is a different game and now I realize this. It all makes sense now.
>>28368842
I think every man knows this or will eventually. Its just the way it is.
>>28368842
Actually you have to remember text doesn't comvey tone.
She can take things any number of ways.
Met my girl online, it's easier than you think. And I look like this
Damn is stimulant euphoria that great? Coke made me a god but only for 20 minutes I've been taking lorazepam for social anxiety cheating but if adderall works I could try that it would last much longer too
>mfw people expect me to want to drink anything other than 80 proof and up
>tfw my father starts buying 5.9 abv beerfor me to drink because I have no money and he thinks that that is the best way to go rather than cheap vodka
What a waste of moneyChuggs liter of beer
tfw 9 beers in and buzzing pretty good
op is gay
OP = real pro alcoholic
>>28368838
Are you american, OP?
If yes,
>american beer
>anything but water
>implying OP wouldn't get absolutely shitfaced drinking real beer
t. German beer
>tfw I don't live in NYC and fuck big booty qt Puerto Rican and Dominican chicks
>tfw I will never live in the Bay Area and fuck qt Asian tech girls
>>28368892
I would rather fuck ghetto Asian girls if I was in the bay
>>28368918
>ghetto Asian girls
I have literally never met one and I live here
those are all in LA
One of my friends has been trying to get me to take a group poop with him all year, and today he finally convinced me to try it. When I sat down on the toilet I was nervous, and couldn't squeeze a chunk out immediately. Then I realized I had explosive diahreah. I tried to push it out slowly but the pressure was too much and it shot out like a rocket, coating the toilet in a brown coat of butt vomit. My friend heard the whole thing happen and asked me what the hell just happened in there. I decided to wipe quickly and jet out of there as fast as I could. I stood up to open the door and walked out, the stench of rotting feces filling my olfactories with a redolent scent of ectasy.
I turned to the sinks while my friend walked out of his stall and looked in mind. His face turned into a vile mixture of horror and disgust; he turned to me and I realized that I had forgotten to flush my poo stew. I awkwardly squeezed between him and the door and used my foot to flush the toilet when he pushed me down into the toilet and closed the stall door. He grabbed the back of my head and thrust it deep into the brown abyss of the toilet then brought me back up. He dunked me into the mushy milkshake once more, but for a longer time. I came up, gasping for air, shaking my long hair as flecks of poo scattered themselves along the walls of the stall, and the face of my adversary.
He was temporarily blinded by the brown blindfold i had bestowed upon his brow, and roared in pain. He let go of me and I saw my chance to escape. I quickly ducked and rolled myself under the stall door to the adjacent stall. It was a trap. Apparently my friend had left a little chocolate surprise on the bathroom tiles. I slid right into it, covering my forehead with a foray of feces.
I stood up and opened the stall door that I had slid into. I step out and see my principal walk into the bathroom. He charged at me and I sidestepped him. He smashed into a urinal, shattering it to pieces. My friend opened the stall door and stepped out, in his hand he held the largest, for lack of a better word, turd I had ever seen. It was about 13 inches long, and he was holding it like a spear.
I knew what he was about to do. Shove it in my face and make me pay. I tried to stop him. He thrust his arm forward and I grabbed his wrist. He moved it swiftly like a pen, giving me a five o clock shadow almost instantaneously. I kicked him backwards into the murky mess of madness, and he fell on top of the toilet handle. Then it happened. I felt it. He felt it. Everyone in the school felt it. Overflow.
The water sprayed up out of the toilet in a frenzy of fecical ferocity followed by a fountain of chocolate that engulfed both of us. I tried to escape but it was no use. the torrent of digested burritos and beans flooded the bathroom. I remember how my life flashed before my eyes. I thought of how embarassing it would be to drown in not only your own diahhrea, but also other people's. Luckily someone opened the door to get in, releasing the gangrenous mess of toilet paper and excrement. I stand up to see my friend passed out, lying in the ever increasing pool of poo. I walk to my next class.
I'll bite - group poop?
I keked pretty heartily op, thanks for that.
is your loneliness and despair your own fault ?
bumpalaroni senpaitachi
Yeah I'm hard to be around sometimes
I get annoyed with people easily and I have eccentricities that make people hate me.
I mostly keep to myself now it's just better that way.
No. I tried... I really did. But people are just naturally repelled from me. I don't understand why, I'm not a creep, I look like a normal guy... but people just don't want to get close to me.
It's always been this way since I can remember. I've had sex a few times, but, as always, they eventually pull away. It's like I have this curse where, as soon as you meet me, this magical process begins where ultimately, you're not going to want to be around me.
It's okay though, I've accepted that this is just what Fate's decided for me. To be alone.
Can someone please help me find a way to watch Leon The Professional?
I don't want to stream, DL sites are always slow as fuck since they have limited DL speeds, I am scared of open trackers, what are my alternatives?
>>28368764
It's overrated trash
>>28368764
By not watching it because it's terrible.
>>28368764
Go on amazon and buy the fucking movie. You can probably get a used copy for less than $5.
Hey /r9k/, do you act your age?
>Be 19
>still feel 14
>like playing Nintendo vidya
>Can't drive
>Never had a job
>Virgin
>Voice is high pitched
>only 5'7
Just wake my shit up inside
>>28368749
>like playing Nintendo vidya
nothing wrong with this senpai
also I am the same as you, literally everything you wrote is the same for me
i tried to get a drivers licence once but the first time I failed the test and the second time I didnt have the motivation to do the driving test
>>28368794
I've been sitting on my permit for 3 years. I just never wanted to learn because I always liked being at home anyway. Plus the second I do
>Anon could you go run this errand for me?
>Anon, take me here
>No job-no gas
>Driving stresses me out
>It's also kinda boring
>Terrible sense of direction
>>28368884
lol, same
there is literally nowhere I ever would want to go. the only thing I want to do is sit at home and use my laptop, there is no need for me to have a license
YOU. Robot reading this right now. Tell me three of the biggest problems you have in your life right now.
>too lazy to start my career
>too lazy to develop my hobby
>haven't made any new friends for 5 years despite maintaining the ones I had in school
-Haven't done homework for my classes. I still have the weekend though
-Wish I have a close female companion
-Not sure how to feed myself when my current food runs out. Money is no issue, I just don't have a stove.
Sorry to complain about my non-problems
>>28368751
this pretty much
maybe swap the career thing with being perpetually suicidal
Dubs decide the album I listen to tonight
Nigger music disqualified.
ROLLING FOR MISTA THUG ISOLATION
enjoy https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LmNYWTpYj8M
>>28368699
and the thread is over
everyone stop posting
Who here has a loyal pupper?
No matter what shit I go through during my day I always come into my room to find my doggo ready to snuggle on my bed. Feels good man.
I have a pupper, although his loyalty is dubious. Somedays he'll come into my room and sleep on my floor, other days he wants nothing to do with me.
I will admit, I do like craddling him like a baby
No matter what shit I've been through, my pupper is alway there to greet me.
I would probably kill myself if he died.
my pupper smells like a skunk right now, so no cuddles, i think she barked at one and it sprayed her
i already washed her and everything, but now she has to sleep in the living room because i don't want to smell like a skunk as well
Is this possible?
You got a link to that bro?
Original commento amigos
>>28368650
This. I mean what's the harm right? I've got nothing to lose.
>>28368650
https://www.warpmymind.com/index.php?gadget=HFiles&action=GetFile&file_id=89
I'm sad and need some good songs to feel worse, so tell me
>what're you listening?
>>28368597
Listen to julien Baker
It's Christian indie but it's actually kind of good
>>28368597
pretty sad at the end
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8IT-xrQRqk
>>28368597
It's edgy, but I like Porcupine Tree.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Yd7lBGYYdc
We're all connected
That's right, man.
We're also all bound by the chain of causality and everything you're compelled to do by causality will lead to other people doing all kinds of stuff, some of which you couldn't possibly even predict.
It's really crazy stuff.
>>28368499
We are the world. We are the children. We are the ones who make a brighter day so lets start giving
It will be alright. All lifeforms have the power to restore themselves and the wish to live. If you decide to live, anywhere can be heaven, because you're alive. There will be chances to be happy everywhere. As long as the Sun, Moon and Earth exist...it will be alright.
Dubs decides my fate gentlemen.
>>28368496
Snip ur nip
Make a little electroshocker with a battery and shock your nipples
This is not /b/ you stupid moron
Post stats, find robot love
these don't work for men, you won't find a girlfriend.
woman don't look at them, they only post their own and wait for replies / attention.
>>28368543
This motherfucker has it right, and because of that. Here's my chart.
>>28368543
This so much. And nobody even reads them, so it's all quite pointless.
