Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 1048. page
- Home
- Board: /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
- Reading: Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 1048. page
>when your oneitis gets married
>>29560805
SHIT BLOOD AND CUM ON MY HANDS
>when she became a lesbian and really fat
Holy shit, I was just listening to that song for the first time in years.
(the music video your pic is from)
So I made a fake facebook account to access facebook-only information a few years ago. I had maybe 10 "friends"(random people I do not know) in it and a few days ago I decided to grab a pic of a pretty young woman on /b/ and use it as my profile pic.
My friend requests absolutely skyrocketed and I had 90 new friend requests yesterday alone and dozens of messages from random guys.
Is being a woman really that fucking easy?
Yes. About time you knew. Wake the fuck up.
yes it is when you're pretty.I made a fake OKC with my HS crushes photos and got a full inbox within 2 days
I don't get that many but yeah, it's usually random Indian men.
>the girl you fell in love with ignores your messages
>>29560743
don't worry bro I'm here
I too know these feels
>stops talking to you
>lists herself as being in a relationship with another guy on FB
A-at least I've been fucking other girls, right?
>>29560743
>the only girl you've ever loved was born with roses in her eyes
>>29560743
This is exactly what I'm nervous about. There's This girl I've been I guess in love with and I wanna build up the courage to message her but I can't do it, my thoughts of her not messaging back or just have an awkward conversation stops me. How did you go and message her in the first place?
can we have a virginity thread?
how old are you?
why are you still a virgin?
how is your virginity affecting your life?
me i'm 23 and my reason for still being a virgin is because i don't have any friends who can help introduce me to any women and i'm too shy and awkward to go out and try to meet people alone
it never used to bother me much but lately as of the last year i'd say it's really seeming to fuck with my mental well being. i keep chewing myself up about how i'm missing out on one of the greatest experiences life has to offer and how everyone else around me is doing it so regularly and casually
>>29560667
I lost my virginity two months ago. Since then, I've had sex with the same girl a number of times. It's great, but it's far from being the "best experience of your life." I could name a few better ones off of the top of my head.
Sex is overrated.
>>29560717
go ahead and name some. my life is dull as fuck and i've never done anything overly great such as traveling or mountain climbing
Does gay sex count in losing virginity?
>tfw I can't tell people I lost my virginity without coming out
I just lie and most people just accept it, but still.
Do you remember the first thread you made on 4chan?
How long did you lurk before you started commenting?
How long did you just make comments before you started posting threads?
>>29560602
first thread was maybe a year ago, shitting on reddit
not long, maybe about a day? I came from reddit because they kept banning me when I said shit like nigger or go
I made a thread before I posted
I posted the same day I found this place, maybe lurked an hour or so.
I posted a thread asking for help dealing with my suicidal bf's depression and quickly realized no one here has actually had any experience with depression.
>>29560628
>>29560678
...I don't know if this is bait or not but this really does seem to be a problem with newfriends
lurkmoar doesn't seem to be a concept anymore
anyways I just realized I forgot mine
I lurked for 2 years before I started commenting regularly. It probably was way too long but I was scared for some stupid reason, that was a waste of time
I don't remember my first thread... it was quite a while ago, I don't even know which board it was on
the earliest I can remember was making a thread on /int/ asking about 2chan and why I couldn't post there, it got no replies and I didn't try again until a few months later when I started commenting a lot more
Time to get dressed wagecucks. A whole week of slaving starting now. I'll just stay here though in the comfort of my bed and maybe play some games later. I bet youre mad. lol
Oh I decided not to go today. The existential depression at having to work ever has officially consigned me to bed for at least a week.
I actually have today off, planning on visiting my gf at her job and giving her some fudge. I miss her lips even though it's been 3 days. You wouldn't know what its like going out with a girl, would you neet? I thought so
>>29560700
>gf
NORMIE REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE GET OUT
>tfw cheated on my bf again
>>29560590
well that's your role
>>29560590
did you like his dick in your boypussy
>>29560590
golly gee what a surprise that a woman would cheat on her boyfriend that she supposedly loves
How to not hate americans? There are few exchange students here as my roommates and I always get super angry at them. One is a fat fuck and second one is black. Their patriotiioiooism feels super pathetic and they are trump supporters. I always hated americans because its normal in this country but this is horrible how am I going to survive next year
I'm neither fat, black, nor in favor of trump.
I'd say we could be friends but unfortunately Europeans are huge cunts who think they're superior to others.
>>29560577
I feel for you.
As an American, I hate fat fucks and black people as well. I'm sorry we exported them to annoy you.
Trunk is good though.
I just got mugged...
>Walking down the street home from work, 11:30 PM.
>Listening to shitty rock music like Royal Blood on my Ipod and can't really hear shit.
>Feel someone grab my shoulder from behind me.
>Guy steps in front of me while his friend still has his hands on my shoulder. I lift my hands up and pull my ear plugs out slowly.
>"My brotha here is going to take yo wallet out yo pocket and you better not do nothin' aight?"
>"Okay, take it." I see that he's holding a metal pipe.
>Feel his nog hand slip into my front left pocket and remove my phone and my wallet.
>Remember that I left my debit card on my bathroom counter so I couldn't get lunch today, feelsgoodman.
>Guy lets go of my shoulder.
>Suddenly feel a thump on the side of my head then a sudden cold feeling as my legs give out from under me and I fall to the ground.
>They continue beating me for around five minutes.
>faintly hear them running off down the street.
>I was just around the block from my shitty townhouse when I got attacked so I was probably laying on the sidewalk for 25 minutes.
The side of my head still feels cold and I can't get the taste of blood out of my mouth, my front left tooth feels a little wobbly and I think I can feel my eye swelling.
What did I fucking do to deserve this shitty fucking existence?
You should be concealed carrying. Could have ended their lives.
>>29560548
White cuckold faggot you got what you deserve
>>29560548
Sucks, dude, but situational awareness is important.
People who walk around alone with music players on are easy marks for criminals.
Wholly fuck I can't handle the sight of this shit. How can such beautiful pacific islander cuties be attracted to people who look like monkeys and smell like shit? After seeing a few today I began to mutter to myself "not this again" when I would see asian female black nigger and white female black nigger couples, then I finally lost it and walked close by and glared scowled at both of them as I passed buy a sweet looking chubby Korean girl cuddling and holding hands with a nigger with a huge nose, fat inverted lips and gang tattoos sitting on a bench at the mall.
My involuntery hatred is not towards the niggers, but I can't understand why our women would accept such vile subhuman apes as lovers when so many handsome, clean cut intelligent wealthy Filipino men like myself go unnoticed, while Filipina women flock to the BBC like flies to shit.
>>29560545
>pacific islander
>Asian
>>29560545
How tall are you? How dark is your skin? Do you have a wide nose and big lips?
>>29560545
>walked close by and glared scowled
good for you man. just give the girl a nice look of disgust and let her know what people think of her
Redpill me on redpills
>>29560523
they are just blue pills with red coating
>>29560523
Iron Pill best pill.
fat losers, living in moms basement, who think they know shit about life.
Anyone else that can't sleep? Post your current feels and thoughts
Empty and sad. Trying to knock myself out with meds, but it has yet to have any real effect.
I was about to then I started to listen to nostalgic music and now I'm sitting here crying
>>29560518
Don't cry, anon. I'm here for you.
*Robot Hug*
As promised here's the dick-size themed one
>>29560492
Here's the request for it
>>29560492
>>29560500
And this is what it was in response to
Also I should be clear that im not redpilled in anyway and none of this is meant to be women hate stuff. There isnt any deeper meaning like that to these. These pictures are literally just me expressing my loneliness by putting shitty skeletons over depressing statistics
There is no hate
Only tears
I thought I had an OK dick.
Circumference is way, wayyy off.
Pre-fap rituals
Do you robots do anything to maximize your fap?
Here's my ultimate routine:
>avoid fapping for 2-3 days to get really horny
>put on some really tight briefs or girls' panties to get my dick feeling tingly and want out
>get really high because it makes me sensitive as fuck
>wait for my bladder to become full until I can't stand it
>once I become so horny that a throbbing erection overtakes the intense need to piss, I go outside and piss in the yard hands free while flipping through fap pics on my phone
>relieving my bladder feels so good and sensual
>go inside to fap. By that point I've buttered myself up so much that my orgasm will be explosive and douse my face in cum sometimes.
>sometimes I'll bust out the fleshlight and fill it up with cum after like 3 strokes, but that requires too much prep work so I usually just lube up and crank.
And if I'm high enough I'll feel it head to toe.
The dopamine release from cumming also extends my THC high by hours if the orgasm is intense enough.
My fapping is both a science and an art.
>>29560476
>Do you robots do anything to maximize your fap?
every time I feel I have to go to the bathroom really bad I start to read doujinshi for an hour
by that time all the piss is built up behind my hard cock and then I masturbate and it feels really good
then I finally go to the bathroom
>go inside to fap. By that point I've buttered myself up so much that my orgasm will be explosive and douse my face in cum sometimes
is you gay faggot? why you aiming your dick at your own face when you cum
I just fap everyother 3-5 days with my laptop on my chest while I'm lying on the back in my bed to some whores on chaturbate. I have to edge for an hour just make it just right. If everything goes according to plan and I can manage to edge long enough, it's literraly 10/10.
I can also go weeks without masturbating, I really don't see how most of you dudes fap daily like there is no tomorrow. Few years ago when I was so depressed that I was on the brink of an heroing any time, I didn't fap for 8 months. I didn't even try... wasn't hard at all.I always wipe my jizz on the blanket and just flip it over to the dry side. I've always done this and I don't give a fuck
why are you faggots so obsessed with getting girlfriends? It's not all it's cracked up to be
>>29560445
good question. I've been here for years and I still don't get it, but that's probably because I'm autistic and avoid intimacy like the plague, especially the emotional kind
Imagine you never had one.
>>29560445
If you're able to have enough girlfriends to no longer it's "cracked up to be," you're probably the privileged one here.
