Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 5676. page
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>TFW you only go out to eat breakfast on the weekends
>TFW there is nothing more delightful than eating the Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity
>TFW all that fresh made food served for $4.99 and with excellent service
MY FRIENDS! I am here to tell you, breakfast at IHOP is a delightful treat. The food is delicious and they don't let black people talk to you unless it's at the cashier.
Why not head on down to IHOP today? I can't wait till next weekend?
It's pretty good. I'm a fan of the lingonberry crepes
Yo when I was a baby robot this was my shit
>companies are using 4chan to advertise now
wew lad
Yesterday a 38 year old landwhale offered to take my virginity, that's what finally made me snap
Today I lost it to a 8.5/10 for just 100 Euros.
Feels good man.
>>26165228
"just" 100 euros...Rich Nordiceuropean fag spotted.
>>26165228
hahahaha
details...how do you know the landwhale, how did the subject come up, etc.
>paying someone to have sex with you
>they only had sex with you because you gave them money
>anon pls
What ever happened to cute feminine women? Women who wore dresses and skirts and had sweet personalities? Manners and common courtesy have completely disappeared it seems. Now it's always sluts and feminazis.
>omg Stacey you're such a bitch!
>That bitch ratchet as fuck!
>I'm gonna fuck as many Chads as I can while posting selfies of it online!
>I'm not showing my tits online I'm just trying to play games!
>Being obese is normal and healthy! You're a fucking misogynist pig for not agreeing with me!
>The way you sit with your legs apart offends me. I'm going to scream and post on tumblr until you stop oppressing me!
>You better do as I say or else I'm telling the police you raped me!
>tfw you tried to be a feminine and cute girl but everyone thought you were weird and a "prude" in high school/college
Now I just stay inside and study or watch anime.
>>26165033
Do you have a penis? If not, mate with me.
>>26165033
"Prude" is a compliment
>tfw being falsely accused of raping a girl and facing 30 years maximum.
>>26164950
if she says you raped her then you raped her
you're a fucking rapist
die
>>26164950
One more disgusting creepy autistic misogynist male around, let's rejoice
t. a feminist :)
>not writing the story
/deenz/
Just picked up 48 tins of deenz at walmart. $0.75 cents each.
How many do I have to eat a day to get ripped like everyone else?
24 cans per day, then take a nap.
At the end of the second days nap youll wake up ripped
>>26164767
I've never had this.
Do you it with the bone and what not?
>>26164767
>deenz
I don't know what the fuck this is.
>How many do I have to eat a day to get ripped like everyone else?
Fuck off tbqh.
>have to make a phonecall
>>26164690
>can't do it
>mommy does it for me
>>26164690
>that feeling of relief once you power your way through it
>what is text to speech
Getting close to bedtime, wagecuck. Your 2 days of freedom sure went by quickly. Be sure to get plenty of sleep tonight. You got a full week of slavery coming up and you need plenty of energy.
>>26164636
Thisis now time for wagies to get in bed.
>>26164636
Yes, that's true. Actually, I should already be asleep. But I'm staying awake tonight, and you know why? To spend more time with you. I'm sacrificing these hours for rest that I'll bitterly regret in the morning just so I can read more of your posts and smile. I need the money, but I need your posts more. Please keep smiling for me and my exhausted mind. Please keep enjoying life for all of us. I want you to be happy.
>>26165566
This, m8. This guy has this threads down to an art. He's a virtuoso of the b8.
who here /hatesjewsbecausetheyrecut/
>tfw no foreskin
>tfw dick gets raw from masturbating so much
every time you don't want porn, a jew loses a shekel
>>26164550
I know the feel. Try to restore, look up the t-tape method.
>tfw "Restored" foreskin
>tfw it's nowhere near the real thing, but it's amazing by itself
>no more chafing
>no more painful erections
>the skin tone in my dick is nowhere near as visible
>sensitivity is noticeably increased to the point where I get uncomfortable if my glans get uncovered and it rubs against my underwear
Why do stoners act like everyone is a okay with their addiction?
>"dude everyone smokes bro its 2016 bro"
>"im gonna drive in my car and smoke a blunt bro no one will care"
>"im gonna smell up my apartment with my glorious weed bro everyone will love it because everyones a loser like me"
>>26164507
BECAUSE we SMOKE DOHPE erry DAMN DAY daug
>>26164507
Sleep tight pups
>>26164507
They also act like it's a miracle drug that gives everyone the best experience ever
>lol what you you mean weed gives you anxiety. You probably smoked it wrong lol
ITT post your experiences with destroying Chad/Stacey/Tyrone.
>Be me in highschool
>Real ugly bot
>This Stacey and her friends always laugh at me when they walk past
>Say shit like 'what a head' etc
>I don't really care
>This depresso guy I know always gets out of class by going to counsellor
>Sounds like a great idea
>Don't really have major issues, just sit with this old lady and rant about my life
>Going great
>After a few sessions feel like I'm wasting her time
>Start talking about Staceys saying shit to me
>Fake cry to make it more dramatic so I can keep cutting class
>She takes it more seriously than I thought she would
>Eventually she takes me to 'present my predicament' to the vice-principal
>Apparently someone complained about this Stacey before
>tfw she gets suspended
>Hear that she's distraught because academic record ruined
>Feels great
>Everyone at school is scared of me complaining about them and starts being nice to me
>Still have no friends but eh Stacey got fucked
yeah sounds like middle school
>>26164497
I don't know how you could feel so could about being a snitch. I wasn't bullied much in school (never bad enough to want to rat) and managed to find a group of pretty cool guys that I fit in with so I probably can't relate as much.
But I guess you fucked Stacey over, so that's cool.
>>26164497
>at party with chad roommate
>he's friends with normie whore
>whore compliments me on my weight loss
>later, playing twister, our butts are touching
>she says that we should go to the bedroom
>sperg out and tell her no
>she was a whore, and I was too drunk to do anything about it anyway
>spends the entire night looking at me in confusion, as if no one could ever reject her
No regrets.
inb4 normie, khv and incapable of talking nomrally with people unless I'm hammered.
Too much weed can damage your brain. Since 5 years ago when I was smoking a gram a day I've had cognitive problems. I constantly blank out when people are talking to me as if I don't understand English. Anyone else ruin their life this way, or any suggestions? This is by far the most depressing thing that's happened in my life.
>>26164485
Duing college i smoked weed everyday with some 'friends', have a not so cute case schizofrenia now two years down the line. Wouldnt say i was mentaly strong before though to be fair but smoking the dank all day every day didn't help.
>>26164485
>>26164689
How much do you smoke on your own also op?
>how often not weight
>>26164760
It was like most of the day 2-4 times at the time. I've smoked since then but not nearly as heavily. It doesn't seem to worsen what already happened 5 years ago so I'm thinking I might have had like a mini stroke or something.
>tfw got a hooker pregnant.
Was she black, pham?
>>26164427
this
it might not be half bad if she isn't irredeemable
>>26164403
high five. your kid will have a terribel life
with being a sociopath?
If you were a sociopath you wouldn't feel like you needed to deal with being a sociopath, you'd feel like everyone needed to learn how to deal with you.
>>26164208
I do that all the time. it alienates me since i'm not one of those "charismatic" lucky bastard sociopaths. So usually i just end up suicidal.
>>26164153
By playing around with roaches
Anyone suffering from hair loss?
>Be me
>Notice myself losing a little more hair than normal
>Brush it off as "It's just me losing my normal 100 hairs a day"
>A year later
>Notice that I'm losing a shit load of hair in the shower
>Hair is all over my desk
>Notice that my hair line has receded a little (NW 2) and my crown is starting to thin
>ohshit.jpg
>Get on Finasteride, Rogaine, and Nizoral
>Been on it for over a month, my shedding is now 1/4 of what it used to be
>Hoping for some regrowth
Pic related, my fucked hairline
>>26164074
Jesus Christ just end your fucking pathetic life you piece of shit.
No one cares about your hairline you dumb fuck. Some people are literally already bold at 20 and you don't hear they crying like babies.
>>26164181
lol I'm pretty much totally bald at 22
but it's a lot more painful when you first notice it, by the time it's all thin and you look bald, you've accepted it
>>26164074
Take som biotin brah. It can't beat genetics but it'll help.
Alright, robots...
I'm this guy >>26051233 from a few nights ago and I'm back with some news on this and for some advice.
>inb4 "ask /adv/ fagit"
I know it's quite long, but bear with me.
>go to bed after posting this thread
>awake all night thinking about the situation
>text her the next day, tell her I'm sorry for saying she's sleeping around too much, didn't want to insult her
>"Anon, you don't have to be sorry. You were right. I don't know why I even did that. I wasn't myself lately and I don't want to throw myself at guys like that anymore."
>tell her that that's not my business and I shouldn't have said anything
>"No, I think it's good you told me. I think it is important that people tell you what they think about you, especially when you're friends."
So, that was our conversation. Don't know what to to with that, but I feel like I have to give you some further background info: (names used for simplicity)
>have best friend (Matt), who was kind of into girl from my story (Alex)
>Matt and Alex go to the movies
>Matt not sure if it's a date
>Alex calls friend (Fiona) to grab a drink with them after movie is over, it obviously wasn't
>days after, Fiona, who is best friends with Matt since long before she met Alex, tells him Alex likes him, but doesn't want to commit
>Matt is cool with that, tells me he just wants sex anyway
>next time we go out
>Matt tries to dance with Alex at the club
>she just walks away
>Matt is pissed, gets drunk, I have to take him home
cont.
jesus fuck no one wants to read a book
>>26164021
Here's a piece of advice.
Man the fuck up and stop worrying about all this shit.
Arrange a date, don't think about it, show up, kiss her if the opportunity presents itself and you feel attracted to her, calm your autism, you neurotic fucking wanker
>>26164021
cont.
>on the way, we get a call
>Alex (drunk) tells us Fiona took a guy home fom the cub, she can't stay at her place
>Alex lives of town, no money left for a cab
>tell her to meet us some place close
>meet Alex, Matt offers to share a cab to her place and stay with her for the night
>she declines, says he can't possibly stay with her
>want to offer she stay at my place at first, but realise Matt would be devastated if she agreed
>lend her some cab fare and say good night
>walk off, Matt's really broken, curses all the way home
>he's been hating on her ever since
>next time I meet Alex
>tells me she was disappointed when I couldn't come to the movies with them
>tell her I thought it was a date and that she was into Matt, but he said that she didn't want a relationship
>she says she was never into him and it's not true that she doesn't want a relationship, she just doesn't find the right guy
>tells me all the guys just want her for sex
So, all of this happened before the initial story. Meanwhile, Matt started dating a girl I was into a few months ago and he asked me three times if it was ok with me before even asking her out.
I've talked to a few guys over the last days, told them that I don't know what to think about the situation, how I feel about Alex. They told me to just go for it, ask Alex out. I told them I had to first ask Matt if it's okay with him, but they said I shouldn't worry about that.
I really don't know what to do anymore. I don't even know how I feel about Alex. I just know that I'm afraid to screw up the friendship I have with her, Fiona or even worse Matt. I planned to go talk to her tomorrow, but I don't even know what to say. I feel like it's weird to even assume she would like me and I've never really been in a situation like that.
I'm 24, virgin, and I'm constantly wondering if this could work out even before asking her out or anything.
Please help a robot out. What do?
![high-functioning-sociopath[1].png](https://i.imgur.com/YgTNYJ0.png "high-functioning-sociopath[1]")
