Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 5678. page
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Why don't you take etizolam? The perfect robot drug and legal. Makes you a normie with a few beers
It's only a dollar a mg. Same as Xanax but has been shown to have a reverse tolerance
>>26162595
its bad idea op, even normal people end up in jail after alcohol + benzo trips
>>26162595
where to buy? Reverse tolerance is BS btw
You're getting ripped off if you're seriously paying a dollar a mg for etizolam. I know a few places off the top of my head that sell grams of that shit for like $70-$80.
Autistic shit you do: the thread
Randomly count in my head in stressful situations. It has no benefit and is completely unintentional. Apparently this is really common though.
If the product I've gone to the store to buy isn't there then I'll get confused and have no idea what to do.
;-;
whenever i put pizza rolls in the microwave, i triple count them to make sure they're all there. when they're done cooking, i recount them. everytime i eat a pizza roll, i recount them over and over again to make sure my pizza rolls are all there. also, sometimes i just eat the bread of the pizza roll and not eat the
meat/cheese/sauce.
Laugh maniacally to myself when things go right, then fantasize about the day I'll have revenge on the normies
Pull my shirt over my face like I scored a goal in soccer when I take a shit.
>finally start getting blowjobs from my gf
>feels terrible
>can't even cum
>feel like i have disappointed her
What's wrong with me/my dick robots? Was I cursed to be unhappy forever?
>>26162561
does she have a cold mouth? some chicks have a cold mouth like their body temperature is lower than yours.
sheeit
what is she doing wrong?
>>26162561
Nobody can come from a vanilla "blowjob".
You have to face fuck her if you want to come.
How do I learn to talk dirty?
>I-I wanna split your p-pussy in two senpai
>>26162352
I also want to learn.
Can we practice on each other or something? n-no homo
>>26162352
>"You're so quiet when you have sex, anon."
I don't know how to talk dirty. Privately masturbating since I was 8 has seared silence into whatever part of my brain is linked to orgasm.
Find out what they're into. Notice subtle things that make them extra "excited" and throw those in once in a while. Basically think of a scenario and tell them step by step (like greentexting) what you're gonna do to them. Don't go too fast, take your time.
Well I have a spare room available and would really like the company of a fellow /ro/bot b/tard or internet troll.I already posted this to
craigslist and no one has responded yet.
Contact me on facebook names David Bakies I don't give 2 fucks if you try and troll me I'll probably get off on that.
or you can contact me via phone 2.3.1 2.3.3 6.2.3.2
Some please call So lonely as fuck I hate not having anyone to talk to will provide free rent I jusyt waqnt someone to share my apartment with.
Do you have hot pockets?
>>26162572
All I fucking eat are hot pockets and TV dinners Bro I be knee deep in da shit man Fucking balls deep in hot pockets bro.
What can the government do about the manchild phenomenon? So many men are too lazy to go to to university to get a good degree and career. When I was waiting on the London Underground I literally saw two "men" about my age talking about video games. I mean, like, seriously????? And I see manchildren talking about video games on Facebook as well! I thought they'd be too embarrassed to admit they do that.
There are no mature men in their 20s ANYWHERE. At my workplace (an investment firm), the only men that have ever flirted with me (just to pass the time, nothing serious) are in their 40s at least. I have lunch at a busy cafe and no guy has ever tried to talk to me. Most of them aren't even wearing suits, so they must not even work in proper jobs.
Forced euthanasia
>Tfw 21 year old Virgin NEET
>Dropped out of highschool at 15 because Thug life
>Said fuck the world and didn't socialize with anyody for 5-6 years except my family and 2 closest friends
>taught myself how to 3d model/animate
>became a professional SFM porn artist making a fucking mint while "real men" run on the fucking hamster wheel
>Soon to be an indie game developer
>probably gonna get rich cause dis gon b good.
>when its all said and done gonna get me an azn qt
get fucked realmenfuckbois
They are adults and get to make their own choices. Why should they work their asses off for a degree and job when they can get satisfaction out of a meagre existance?
Robots, what's your perspective on this attack?
>>26162162
What board was this?
>>26162162
pretty accurate desu fuck the bot
>>26162191
I don't know actually, I just found the picture
Why haven't you hired a professional cuddler yet, /r9k/?
>>26162080
i already have a she friend who takes my beta bux sorry im not in the market.
>>26162080
>paying money to lay there like an idiot with a boner you can't do anything with it
Top cuck. Just hire a hooker.
>>26162080
>she puts a pillow between you and her
what the fuck?
how do people accept this, it's just taking a nap with someone else in the room if she puts shit between the two of you
>tfw guy friend starts dating my little sister
>tfw you will always be the ugly sister
why live
>>26161976
>hey guys im a girl teehee :))
you can fuck right off
>>26162009
>implying implications about these things
>>26162037
The way i see it it is one of two cases
1. OP is a "fembot" who wants attention
2. OP is a male pretending to be a fembot
In both cases OP can fuck right off
What should I do with 50k I inherited? I know it's not much but it might be the most cash I'll ever see, so I'm afraid to touch it.
>>26161875
spend a tiny fraction of it, save the rest and think about what to do with it later.
>>26161875
If you don't have a job, go to school, or trade/vocational school. Do a bunch of research before hand to get a good idea of what you wanna do.
>>26161875
Hookers and blow
Nothing else matters
>tfw when thought I had aids yesterday
>have bareback with escort for 1 minute
>3 weeks after feel sick
>think I might have HIV
>flu lasts 12 hours now going away
>realize that if was an HIV flu it would be the worst flu of my life
>it ain't shit
have a free pepe
>>26161445
>tfw share heroin needles with my friend
>now have the flu
>>26161445
>>have bareback with escort for 1 minute
What are you some kind of fag?
>fucked a whore bb last year
>got sick the next day
>sick for a week straight
>thought i had hiv and should kill myself
>get std test a month later
>came back negative
you're gonna make it familia
>tfw got my first gf
>tfw fucked her 9 times over this weekend
>tfw now officially a normie
It's been fun guys. I lucked out hard. I don't deserve this at all.
jk I am going to keep shitposting here till the world ends.
The time has come to bow down to your normie overlords, one thread at a time.
h-how does it feel like being a normie, senpai?
She'll prob fuck some other guy and crush your heart. But till then be as happy as you can! :D
>>26161387
GET OUT NORIME REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Do normies have a fucking fear of eating alone or something?
Every day, every goddamn day when I go to my uni's cafeteria to get something to eat.
>OMG why are you eating ALONE, anon?!
>come eat with us!
god fucking damn it i just want to put something in my stomach so i don't die and then fuck off back to my room what the shit is this
>>26161022
At least people know your name and ask you to eat with them.
But that also means you go to a community college.
>>26161022
Yeah I used to hate this too when I was still in contact with classmates.
I was eating at the cafeteria twice a day, when I felt hungry.
Why the hell would I make sure to meet with someone every time? What kind of sad and needy people do this?
People eat with their mates because its a nice thing to do. You sit, chat and eat.
>wow anon you sound like someone who would go on 4chan hahahahahah
>>26160950
I've been looking for this pic for a while, but I'm still not going to save it.
I honestly think it's one of the best pe-pes ever.
>>26160950
The only way you would know this is if you went on 4chan yourself. Otherwise you wouldn't recognize it. Dumbass.
That applies to reddit too. People on here calling each other reddit. How would you know if you supposedly don't browse it?
>talking to people
Get oout my board.
I was out drinking last night, got in at 2:30am had long bath went to sleep, got up at 7:30pm. Fapped twice, gonna eat spaghetti and get more alcohol. Who drinking here?
>>26160719
Living the life, OP. I hate the taste of that crap, but even I think that sounds comfy as fuck.
>>26160719
Sounds very comfy
I too went out drinking 2 days ago with some buddies at the local comfy bar, had way too many beers and shots and drank everything way too fast which resulted in me being hungover as fuck the morning after and basically throwing up all day and laying sick in my bed watching youtube videos
nonetheless comfy as fuck weekend
pic related, its the scene of the crime
>>26160889
>those blocks for seats
Why couldn't they just get comfy high chairs?
![IMG_20151223_160454_428[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/pd0dOX1.jpg "IMG 20151223 160454 428[1]")
