Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 3225. page
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I'm disgusted at my own face, but I can't wear a mask in public because it's not socially accepted
How can I hide it without people thinking I am a retard?
Wear a Burka. They're all the rage in England
Burn face, then wear medical mask
just do pic related
What would you do with CHIM?
>>28395828
I have a mental disease
>>28395828UNLIMITEDCHICKENTENDIES
>>28395828
>bring asteroid from outer space
>suspend it above some place important like mecca
>tell people to worship me or i will make it fall down
>make people build me a tower
>shitpost and play vidyia from said tower
>remain a virgin because i'm scared of females
So my bf broke up with me this morning, which is fine. But I've always kinda had a thing for his best friend that he grew up with. Looking for tips on how I can make this happen. Downside is his friend lives like 45 minutes away. We both (his friend and me) are usually really busy too between work and gym. My ex bf has too much free time and always played video games. Fucking hated it.
Can I bump my own thread?
nobody cares
FUCKING ORIGINAL
>>28395814
faggot you're a faggot
has anyone else pretended to be insane to try and meet a qt women in a psych ward?
>>28395786
Wouldn't that just make you genuinely insane?
You're already ill for wanting to do that
>>28395799
but its just to get in and meet a girl. after you get her to agree to be your gf you tell them you aren't insane and you can leave.
>worship me you fat piece of shit
wat 2 do ?
Well, as she says, you damn moron
Think she's gonna step on your twitching balls if you DON'T worship her? Get to work.
>>28395697
I'm not fat. Do I get fat?
>>28395697
she's fatter than me
Who else /disappointment/ here?
>walking past my mother's room
>"Hey anon, what are you doing?"
>"Oh, just going to have a shower"
>"Are you going out after?"
>"N-no..."
>Mother audibly sighs with disappointment before returning to her phonecall
kill me now, I just want to make someone happy
My parents gave up on the idea to seeing me out of my room long time ago. FeelsGoodDesu
>>28395742
Not even just her, I would love it if just SOMEONE I knew didn't despise my presence. What's so wrong with me that people just instantly seem to dislike me? I literally have no personality beyond making others happy, and even that isn't enough.
>>28395682
Do any of you bots have a pool table or dart board at home? Get decent and join a league or something. Have some drinks, play some pool or darts and when you're really good people will just flock to you.
What is it like to have a normal-fag Summer? One where you go out with friends. Skinny dip with girls and so on? Any robot who used to be normal as a kid or something?
>>28395679
All my friends come back from uni and one invites me to ahng out with them on the beach. Apparently they go every day, I barely visited them once or twice last summer
Maybe I should go more oftem this year. From what I remember: yeah you spend most of the day sunbathing but it's pretty boring as it usually is with normalfags
Light hearted, painless, relaxing, to-be-nostalgia.
How to describe it better, I don't know?
I can't bring the feeling back, because of age and experience. It would take an DFW'ian account of authenticity to explain it further. Pic related.
Go to sleep very late, wake up very early. Practice wrestling, text girls, go to the mountains and lakes with my friends. Visit very rural areas and try to smash girls.
who here /Skype/ anxiety?
>tfw get scared just logging in
Group calls are the worst fucking thing ever.
Talk over me again motherfucker. I DARE YOU!
>>28395625
right here fampai.
>want to message people but can't
>meet someone cool on /r9k/
>maybe you'll finally have an e-buddy
>talk with them on skype
>they immediately turn out to be an abrasive asshole
Why do women moan during sex? I know it doesn't feel that good.
>>28395605
Why do men grunt during sex? I know it doesn't feel that good.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Female_copulatory_vocalizations
Bitches ain't shit but hos and tricks
Makes men cum faster. Same reason chimps do it.
>"Ey anon bro just wanted 2 show wat mom and me were up 2 last nite ;)"
>>28395480
>that moment when you realize you aren't the favorite son...
>>28395480
I love that men would do anything for pussy. Makes my life easier.
*instantly shows dad image of his cheating, incestuous wife*
About a year and a half ago I got off of /r9k/ and tried earnestly to assimilate into normie life.
I went to uni, met a girl, moved in together etc.
Fast forward to now
>Uni is suffering
>Cant stop being a miserable and whimsical cunt all of the time and I can't make social connections
>Might be an INFP thing
>Girlfriend is as mentally ill as I am
>Abuses me from time to time
>At first I didn't mind it but now it's wearing thin
>Both severely depressed and we're just trying to stay afloat in this shit world
Just finished jacking off beside her in bed while she's sleeping. Her low libido from depression makes intimacy almost impossible.
She's my only friend and she also has a car and an income so I can't just leave her.
Is there anybody else on this board in a remotely similar situation? I really didn't want to come back here, but right now all I can think about doing is killing myself.
Do you except me to feel sorry for your help you, gf having piece of shit? Get off this board, reddit was made for people like you.
Come on, if you managed to get a gf you obviously have friends and social skills. you're not a robot
>>28395460
The facade wore off pretty quickly, I couldn't maintain it.
I'm a long time masturbator, but I've become somewhat bored with it. I enjoy the orgasm at the end, but that's it; it's just "OK".
So lately I've been searching for ways to have a more powerful and intense orgasm and as it turns out, there something called prostate orgasms or the P-Spot. From what I've read, men can experience intense multiple orgasms by directly stimulating their prostate.
The only thing is that unlike masturbation which gives instant gratification, initially having a prostate orgasm takes a lot of time, concentration, and skill, but once you've had one it's supposed to become second nature, like learning to throw hadoukens in SF2.
I've already purchased an Aneros and I've been practicing with it for about a month now, but I still haven't achieved a P-gasm, but I'm still intent on trying to have one and buying new prostate toys in the future to help. Apparently a lot of men give up when their Aneros doesn't work, but I'm going to stay committed to it.
Anyone else thinking of going on a prostate orgasm journey?
>>28395433
Thinking about it.
Tbh unless this thing comes with an instruction manual not sure if its worth it.I've read that hitting the protate is bad..so
waste of time. just get a vibrating egg, stick it up your butt and it does the same shit.
i don't do it because the clean up. not worth it.
>>28395531
sitting on a chair too long is bad, too much sunlight is bad, not enough sunlight is bad.
Lads I fell for the normie meme and decided to start talking to a grill
Thing is I fucking love her and I know she'll never feel the same way
>inb4 normie get the fuck off my board
What really fucking shits me is that as we speak she's getting railed by nigger chad and that's not fucking acceptable
I fuckin hate emotions so any of you fags have any advice on how to kill emotions? I know certain drugs can do it but idk
Also general feels/drug coping thread
Idc post whatever sad shit you want nothing matters
>>28395399
There's only one thing left to do now anon.
You gottarapeher, you know it's the only way.
>>28395399
Robots are really entitled.
>>28395518
After eating, shitting and not getting eaten by wolfes, having a mate is the most basic desire of every human (few exceptions might apply).
Single mothers, the sick and disabled are entitled to free money.
Woman despite working less time in less danger and less risky environments are somehow entitled to the same pay as men.
Trans and fat women are somehow entitled to be found attractive without the the one finding them attractive to fetishize them.
Divorced women are entitled to half a mans possesions.
Fuck you for denying the one entitlement that is one of the basic needs to a human.
>tfw you're not cute
hon suicide pact, who's with me?
why do you wanna be cute?
>>28395270
I want to be desired by imageboard losers
even here I can't fit in because of my genetics
time to an hero
>>28395296
fucking narcissistic cunt neck yourself desu
I got onto a Skype call with some "GAMER GIRL" who added some other guy I know. I've known this girl for a month now, and never had any romantic intentions. We talked for two hours on the call until I got tired of the slut adding people to the call. They added a German cuck and I told him allah hu akbar and called him a Jew cuck. They kicked me on and off from the call until I had enough of the shit.
I got on their game server I usually play on and I was banned. I asked the bitch, who is the owner, why I'm banned and apparently I get on her nerves and everyone else's.
Never talk to anyone or be close to anyone. I have had about enough of this shit. All my friends have dropped me and I honestly think that having no friends is a whole lot better than to have some sort of friends and get dropped. This includes real friends as well. An autist like me considers online friends actual friends.
Fuck this shit. Seriously.
You actually behave like the stereotype in rl?
well ok then
Not your blog faggot, fuck off
>>>/b/
>>28395216
>being /edgy/ in a skype call
>being upset when people are fed up with your shit
Tell me, were you born this retarded or did you work at it?
