Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 4568. page
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>He has "Asian fever"
>He dresses like he's Japanese
>He says he hates American women
>He says he hates American culture
>He is fat or a skeleton
What is explicitly wrong with any of those besides having an unhealthy body weight
>>27400690
Only one I fit is being a skeleton
Is hating hedonism hating American culture?
>>27400738
You're part of the problem, dumbfuck.
Here I found something for you degenerates to amuse yourselves with. Enjoy.
>>27400665
amused
>>27400894
We'll need a smug Pepe too please
>>27400894
>>27401031
This please.Rage one, too.
>that feel when I don't have a girlfriend
>>27400603
>that feel when my ankle is hurting me right now
>>27400603
>that feel when sometimes I have to untie my shoes to put them on
>>27400603
>that feel when someone calls me a mean name
How do I cope with being ugly?
People pretty much hate ugly folks right off the bat. Women wish ugly people would die.
Have a likable personality
Be confident so people will actually want to talk to you. And when they talk to you just be really nice and funny and likeable and they will like you. Unless your face is dismembered it will be a piece of cake to get a bf/gf
>>27401207
How do I be confident when I have nothing to be proud of? They'll know if I'm faking.
Post autistic shit you've done while talking to grils. I've got more.
>decide to get hello talk, an app for learning languages, because I saw /r9k/ thread on it to talk to chicks
>Find a German chick 17, 18 here
>Hit it off really well, talking about all sorts of shit
>We hit music
>She gives me what is popular there
>I already listen to German music, link mine (Junger Soldat)
>She says it's banned in her country
>wut
>I look for lyrics so she can atleast look at it.
>She doesn't text back for 10 minutes
>ask what's wrong
>She says that the song is bad topic and taboo in her country
>talk a little more, not too much
>She never wanted to talk to me again
>tfw
>>27400473
It's illegal to talk about WWII unless it's about the holocaust in Germany.
Source: I'm a kraut
>>27400473
>Start a new class and see a qt3.14
>Decide i should do something about it
> Add her on facebook and make some small talk
> See her sitting with a group of friends on a bench at our college
> Walk up to her, say hey we should get to know each other
,>just shake her hand, say my name and leave
I now have to see her every week on that class and have her remind me that i am a complete autist.
>be me 14
>have friend a little older than me
>she's robot and so am I
>we become great friends
>gonna ask her out
>her ex-boyfriend moves back from Oregon
>OK
>let that chill down for a month because emotions
>next door neighboor also likes her
>he's even more robot than me but manages to talk to her
>every time I talk to her, he buts in
>he finds out I like her
>tells her
>she asks
>say "yeah, but whatever"
>she doesn't bring it up again
>she get's chad boyfriend
>he says he dicked her
move ahead a couple months to last day of school
>walking home
>she decided too as well
>take same path and hit up conversation
>I say I'm moving because I am
>she get's sad
>drop her off at house and leave
>never speak to her again
Repeat after me: "Atleast I'm not in a wheelchair."
If you are unable to walk:"Atleast I can see and type.
Yeah, you're right. This isn't even the bottom, it can get even fucking worse. There's no end to this. I should just off myself while I'm able to, otherwise I could like get paralyzed from the neck down and not have a chance.
at least I can exist without suffering haha kill yourselves faggot virgin nerds
Being in a wheelchair would at least generate some sympathy. Being an ugly autist generates none.
Is it the time of the day to worship Natashtash Aughey yet?
horrifying. i wish she'd hold me down and sit on my face
>>27400281
>not wanting her to squeeze your head in between her thighs
>>27400255
Not yet. I need more test on my body before I can overcome the one in her system.
>Try trapping because it makes me feel temporarily happy when I get positive feedback
>Overall basically nothing has changed and I'm still dissatisfied
>tfw as a trap you're really popular and get Stacy levels of attention but as a guy you're just a sad manlet
>deep voice
>thick beard with near full coverage
>broad shoulders
>good muscle mass from working out and having a decent diet
>tfw too manly to be a trap
>>27400106
Now hold on. Are you telling me that dressing up like a girl for sexual thrills DOESN'T cure depression??? What???
meeting girls from online dating services thread
>be me 3 years ago
>have aokcupidaccount
>get matched with a girl, talk with her a few hours a day
>this goes on for 3-4 weeks
>eventually we meet up
>go on a date
>ive been saving up for this, minimum wage is a shit
>we get pizza and some beers
>of course i paid for it
>go see american hustle
>i pay for her ticket and her popcorn and beer
>we hold hands
>massive erection, havent held a girls hand since 9th grade
>finish movie
>walk back to the car
>thanks anon i had a fun night
>y-you t-too
>hard as fuck
>ask her if she wants to chill at my place
>she says yeah
>she wants to stop by the grocery store
>she buys a pack of beer and somecondoms
>get to my place
>go to my room
>watch a movie on netflix
>cuddling and shit
>she puts her hand on my erection
>fuck yeah im finally gonna lose my virginity
>hearts pounding
>losing ability to think clearly
>ready to fucking fuck
>she moves her hand from my crotch
>eww anon what the hell
>boner deactivated
>what?
>anon are you tryin got have sex with me????
>...well, yeah we met onokcupidthe whole point of that site is to get laid, i thought thats why we were hanging out
>gross anon! i just wanted a friend!?
>my face when
>then who were thecondomsfor?
>my boyfriend anon, what the hell
>she never once mentioned she had a bf
>RRRREEEEE
>ask her for my money back
>she refuses
>tell her to leave my house or ill call the cops
>but you drove me here anon!
>shit
>drive her to a bus stop
>never hear from her again
of youre reading this, alexandra i hope you got home safe, also fuck you
>>27400053
It was rude of her to use a dating website to get free shit from you but you are a faggot for feeling entitled to sex.
>>27400268
yeah but i was 21 and full of booze
>>27400053
original bump
stop fucking muting me your robotic asshole
>Wake up
>NEETbux no longer exist
>Your parents (If you live with them) say you have to get a job at the end of the month or they're kicking you out
What would you do?
nothing, like every other time
>>27400047
Wonder why my parents think they can kick me out of my own home, and why they forgot I make more money then them combined.
Must be going senile, time to put mom and dad in a home.
>>27400164
one of my favorite things to be gleeful about is the persistent assertion that NEETbux are more than enough to afford you the bare minimum of livability
I've decided I want to be a father, an the only way to do that is to knock some random Stacy up.
Here is my plan
>go to a bar
>hit on every girl, starting with least attractive bar fly
>attempt one night stand
Phase two (maybe)
>poke hole in condom/mess with her pills
>cum inside her pussy
>leave my number
>talk to her every day and attempt to continue relationship
>when she gets preggo:
Stage three
>tell her abortion is murder
>tell her that if she kills the baby then she is a baby killer
>guilt her into it
>tell her this is her only chance to be a mother
Stage four
>become rather.
>steal baby and move to lousiana or some hick state
>claim she is unfit and sue for custody
Stage five
>live peacefully on neetbux with my baby
>libe amazing life
This thread is going to be gold, I just know.
Hmmmmm...
You won't have much luck beating the court system. it's pretty much 99-1 odds that you will ever get full custody of your kid, even with damning evidence (which you don't have). And you're talking about stealing the baby which doesn't sound too good.
I suggest finding some fucked up histrionic, psychopathic, depressive girls (like the women on here and lolcow) so maybe you can get her to kill herself or OD or something once the baby is born. It won't be so bad for the kid once they grow up.
Good luck!
Assuming you'd even find a girl wasted enough.
>she never calls you
>becomes pregnant
>gets abortion
>my only source of human interaction is 4chan
>the only reason i make posts here is to interact with others
>otherwise i'd be completely alone
Could I say you're my friends?
>>27399673
yes, mate
now get your shit together
how? i dunno
we can only talk here
>>27399673
It's not intimate enough.
>>27399673
Sure bro. :D I'm pretty much the same way. I don't hang out with people in real life ever, and only talk to old friends on the phone or through messaging once every few months. Other than that I spend all day on 4chan
non-virgin robot here
sex gets boring quick if it isnt with someone you love so to all the idiots that want to throw away their money on a whore expecting to have a "Life-changing experience" you will be dissapointed
>>27399637
True, for me the best part was just scratching that itch of curiosity and knowing I wouldn't have to lie about not being a virgin anymore
That's why I'm trying to save it for a special girl, but as I get older the more jaded I get. 2 days ago I was really close to saying fuck it and getting with this hot single mom that I know is down.
>>27399637
>non-virgin
>robot
That's not how it works normy
>be me
>handheldless virgin
>spending another friday night alone
FUCK MY SHIT UP
pls relate with me anons
sorry brah unable
>>27399563
original fucking comment fuck this gay board
>>27399563
I've recently started having sex with crossdressers. Usually older ones, late 30s-50s. They are great at sucking/taking dick and not picky. They'll take their time with you and make you feel like a god. I'd recommend it. It might seem weird at first, but it's really fun.
>she's smart
>she's funny
>she seems like a nice, generous, fun lover without being overly gross
she's not the hottest, but she seems like such a pleasant person. i want to get to know her and have a loving relationship develop rather than just fucking her. have you ever had feelings for a pornstar?
>>27399421
>fun lover
That only means one thing.
>>27399451
ok. what does it mean?
>>27399421
>takes a picture of self with phone in the view
evidently not the smartest or the funniest.
