Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 4564. page
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whats the greatest greentext story youve seen/ saved /r9k/?
You must have been in the thread to have experienced it firsthand.
The one about the bear with the salmon.
This is from /b/ but it's the best greentext I've ever seen.
http://m.imgur.com/a/y6r8e
>>27347311
Op here, not exactly a greentext but still gold
My internet has been out for two fucking days. Wtf am I supposed to do?
consume alcoholic beverages
That's the worst feeling this I why I try to keep 16 hours or so of video and 4 or 5 books in reserve just in case. I live with grandparents and our Internet is come and go all the time. It's gotten bad enough that I once burned through my reserves before it was fixed. Now I hawe a shit load so I doubt it can happen again, but I was bored out of my mind. I'm used to being able to stop halfway through a project and Google something for an instant answer. I don't know how people did anything before the Internet. It seems most of my creations is piecing together things other people did or finding innovative uses for their work.
>>27406973
unplug and replug your router
>tfw have pretty long hair
>tfw it keeps falling out and clogging the shower drain
>tfw can't tell if it's a normal amount of hair to lose or if I'm balding
>tfw giant forehead, uneven scalp, and can't grow a beard, so if it's the latter I am absolutely fucked
>tfw only 20 and my life could already be over
Just end it.
>>27406830
I'm experiencing this too. I won't be able to take it if I go bald.
Cant be genetics.
Try consultng a doctor
I had the same problem but it turns out that when my hair gets longer it just breaks in the middle more, not fall out from the stem
Why do people who like incest porn usually never want to do it in their own lives? What the hell about it is exciting for you if your real mom doesn't excite you or whoever.
Most people who like mom/son would never fuck their mother.
the bro/sis fags are too beta but most of them actually want it.
Also, robots, why is dad/daughter the best thing to cum buckets to?
>http://www.xvideos.com/video16804981/i_m_fucking_my_brother_is_that_means_dad_can_fuck_me_too_
>http://www.xvideos.com/video3721870/farther_convinces_daughter_full_video_
Literally nothing better. Prove me wrong.
mom/daughter is comfy tho.
>>27406815
>Why do people who like incest porn usually never want to do it in their own lives?
because it's taboo and people who jerk off to it would never actually dare do it in real life
>>27406865
/thread
Jsjwj
Real incest videos don't exist.
There's a 6/10 gril who's shows interest in me but I don't want a relationship because they'll probably just bitch about something all the time. I just want to bang them. Any good methods of achieving this, robots?
netflix and chill really works
>>27406247
craiglist casual encounters. Honestly, anon, grills are the ones who decide if you have a one night stand or not, not you.
lol you probably won't get hard
I Have an Extreme Liking for Cherry Crush and SSSniperwolf.
>>27406157
none of them because I'm not fucking thirsty like that
SSSniperwolf was my Xbox Live Gamertag for a while back in 2011.
I had trouble choosing between SSSealTeam6 and SSFoxSniper.
I went with SSSniperWolf because SSniperWolf was taken and, obviously, SniperWolf was too.
>>27406157
>>27406157
She eats massive cocks for money. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Ask a robot who wasted $25 going to the club only not to talk to anyone anything.
>>27406113
Did you dance at least?
How do normies dance? The one time I had to dance I kind of just swayed back and forth a little since I had no idea.
>>27406113
Why would i ask a failed normie anything, not your personal blog,.
fuck off etc..
>>27406168
>failed normie
a failed normie is a robot, you fuck.
we accept you OP
You're braver than I am. I just wouldn't even be at the club lmao
end me
>virgin
>too afraid/insecure to hire an escort
Just end my life.
>>27406109
well, how old are you?
start out wit
What would be the fucking point
It's just a human fleshlight
Even when normalfags hook up for one night stands there's the acknowledgement that they find each other attractive
Start learning, get job a quant, make 30-50k $/month.
Get muay thai training + dance classes (fuck gym)
At this point you will be rich and you will be able to stand for yourself, bitches will spread their legs for you senpai
>Found girl on Tinder who is into cuckolding
>Over time convince her into building a cuck shed in her back yard for me
>Get internet and computer in cuck shed
>Only job is to watch her fuck black guys in front of me
>Not even attracted to her at all (But she thinks I am)
>Living in small hut basically for free with everything included
Why aren't you living the literal NEETcuck life yet?
>>27406082
Damn, that's genius. I'm making a fetlife right now. As long as I don't have to prep the nigger I could handle that or eat her out I could handle that. You're living the dream my friend.
I'm more into beeing NEET and finding tinder girls who want their asses whipped.
There's this one guy on /fit/ who does gay findom and muscle worship. He doesn't even hide the fact he's straight and tweets shit like 'which one of you fags is paying for me to wine and dine this bitch' and he gets multiple guys giving him money. All he does is video of him topless and wearing army boots and posing while being homophobic. I didn't even know there was a market for that. I knew homos liked the idea of a straight bottom, but a straight top who says they aren't even worthy of seeing his dick? I'm jelly as fuck.
>tfw r9k redpilled me on grills and Pol redpilled me on immigration.
>tfw lost all will to fap
>only think about how all girls are sluts
>hate of women intensified
Fuck you sperg friend who sent me here. "They are lonely fuckers like you Anon, go there" now I'm stuck here with manlets and supposed "fembots". Smh senpai I hate those fuckers more than I hate standing in lines
And now /r9k/ is also overrun with normies.Fucking joy.Like seriously fuck this gay Earth.All of it.
>>27406060
ha ha ha
ONE OF US
don't worry I will always love you
>>27407426
No, /r9k/ is overrun with autistic frog posting beta scum. It wasn't this pathetic at the beginning.
who /desperately wants to feel romance and intimacy but too retarded to ever obtain it so instead choosing to live it vicariously through romantic fiction/ here?
>>27406019
>desperately wants to feel romance and intimacy but too retarded to ever obtain it
I know that feel
> so instead choosing to live it vicariously through romantic fiction/ here?
I do not know that feel
>>27406019
Fuck this is too real. How do I cure myself.
Even worse when you almost start a relationship and then she ends it before it begins so you do right back to absorbing yourself in fiction
>Be at work having a grand ol' swell time being a retail wagie
>Ex-gf's mom walks in.
>think to myself okay I can just make this go by fast, just like a regular customer"
>She makes it take forever thinking about cigarettes to buy
>starts asking me personal questions and if I had a new gf yet
>tell her no I haven't (its been around 7 months)
>She makes that compassionate pained human expression and tells me I will someday, and that her daughter is still a messed up wreck and that she's sorry
>Now I'll reset and be back to thinking about my ex every day again
Today was literally the only day that I hadn't been thinking about her almost all the time, I was applying to other jobs outside the country to start over
I don't have any friends. Eat my blogposts robots
>Has no friends
>Had a girlfriend
Yeah nice try fella
>>27406015
She was a drug addict right out of rehab.
My parents never let me go outside so I never made friends and only hung out on the internet.
Blow me nigger, I got no reason to make shit up.
>>27405995
Normals are literally shit at considering other people's feelings. She doesn't care at all about how you feel/were feeling/would feel from that, she just knew that she wanted to ask you those things.
Honestly women and relationships are a waste of time besides casual interactions.
Love is just a series of chemical compounds working on tandem to illicit a biological survival method.
>at the store getting litter for my cat
>have just enough quarters to pay for it (broke college student)
>girl approaches me and asks if I have a spare dollar
>she notices I'm counting coins and says she's having to rely on coins also
>simply cannot afford to give her anything otherwise my cat will urinate everywhere until I'm paid in a week
>don't know what to do
>ask her how much change she has
>she tells me and we just stand there sifting through our coins for a minute
>she finally says "well I have to go, see ya" then leaves
Did... did I do good
>>27405909
No. Shoulda fucked her. You were mbonded in your misery. Misery loves company
>>27405909
That's cute, OP.
Opening scene of Michael Cera's next movie.
>not giving her all your money
>not taking off your coat to warm her
>not protecting her from anyone and saving her life
>not Unsheathing your katana at anyone who looks at her
0/10
dubs and i ride drunk up i65
do it
pussy bitch
ride your moped drunk.
Good luck, have fun.
>>27405688
Well congratulations I guess
>Tfw no tomboy gf
Is there any reason to live anymore
Define: Tomboy
>>27405609
Tomboy
Noun
A girl who enjoys rough, noisy activities traditionally associated with boys.
>>27405561
>New girl at my work
>qt tomboy but also feminine
>Waves and says hello
>apparently she goes to same uni as me
>this means she has noticed me out of thousands and thousands of students
>I never noticed her
there is a reason for me now
