Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 6452. page
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>mfw I have a qt3.14 gf
>mfw I have sex with her while you're masturbating to catboys and yaoi shotacon hentai
>mfw she tells me she loves me and you only hear that from your mom...ironically
>mfw she touches my ass and you still have beg your car to give you attention
>mfw I could kill myself and she'd kill herself shortly afterwards and if you did that everyone would laugh and shit in your open casket
So give me a reason you're any better than a common anal hemorrhoid?
>implying sex is better than masturbating to catboys and yaoi shotacon hentai
>>25453521
> implying I don't have sex and masturbate to catboy yaoi
>>25453438
>mom says she loves you ironically
that's so pathetic i'm actually laughing
also i like the idea of people shitting in someone's funeral casket
good thread anon
> Every girl you talk to has had someone come on her face already
>>25453374
>tfw started dating my gf when we were 11
>tfw I managed to keep her
>tfw the first
I pity all of you.
>>25453374
>>25453408
I can relate a bit. Met my first gf online, we were about 10 years old. When we were 18, both virgins, finally met and had sex.
Fuck you OP.
Pic not related.
>>25453616
I think a huge part of my success story is due to the conservative society I live in. So really I didn't do much.
Robots are doomed to be robots forever.
Girls like guys who are interesting, who have hobbies and do things and have friends and are generally interesting people. These guys do this stuff not to get girls, but because they like doing things, they're interested in their hobbies, they have fun doing stuff. The average robot will think "oh, so I gotta do things and get hobbies and make my life interesting to get girls", and the majority of robots will just give up and continue being boring dead-inside people, but even the ones who actually do this, and get hobbies and start doing things, will not be attractive to girls, precisely because he started trying to be interesting TO GET GIRLS.
The reason chads are chads are because they like doing things. The average robot will never become attractive because they are too innately depressive to actually enjoy doing these things, and to make friends.
And to those of you who think getting a gf will fix everything, it will not. I had a gf for two years, a hot one, who loved me, on a fluke, and still I am the same boring, depressive person I always was.
When you hear a proto-chad on this board saying "just work on yourself, pick up hobbies, become interesting, etc", he is fundamentally misunderstanding the nature of both girls and robots.
Make no mistake, robots.
You're here forever.
but muh dick game
>"im gonna do x to get a girl xd!"
thats literally the most beta thing to say/do
do things to improve yourself not to get a gril faggot
This is all pretty much true, especially the part where robots think doing x will result in y, which never works out like most things that are obviously forced and unnatural
>he is fundamentally misunderstanding the nature of both girls and robots.
To be fair, you can't really blame him for being ignorant of how it works for the 5% of the population who are omega males.
lets test /r9k/'s catering skills
give me the soda
eat shit and die mobile poster.
I DON'T WANT THAT
FUCK OFF YA CUNT
1. The female protagonist is a naturally great pilot. With no training or experience she's as good as anyone we've seen at piloting the Millennium Falcon.
2. The female protagonist has more powerful mind tricks than anyone else in the movie (possibly in the history of Star Wars), with no training or experience
3. The female protagonist can naturally resist the mind tricks of a Sith Lord, with no training or experience
4. The female protagonist can hold her own in a lightsaber battle with a Sith Lord, with no training or experience
5. The female protagonist is naturally awesome with a laser blaster, with no training or experience
6. The female protagonist is naturally brilliant at everything and she has no weaknesses
7. The female protagonist doesn't need anybody's help, she's better than everyone else at everything anyway
>>25453384
>1. The female protagonist is a naturally great pilot. With no training or experience she's as good as anyone we've seen at piloting the Millennium Falcon.
I'm reading Before the Awakening right now and in that book Rey just plays on a flight simulator in all her free time as she has nothing else to do besides scavenge.
>>25453384
Dat face.
>>25453436
Great, 6 more steaming piles of bullshit to clean then
I can't sleep.
What should I do?
>>25453206
Stop posting pictures of your sister online for starters.
Say nigger out loud. Not to loud not too soft.
Download Beach Angels featuring Shinozaki Ai and cry knowing you will never hold her and you will become tired and sleep.
I'm fascinated with the MBTI. Ever since graduating high school, I've been trimming so many people out of my life. Lately all I really do is smoke weed, play video games, go to work, and read books when I'm not at school. The plus side is that I've been able to expand my general knowledge on things since thats all I have time to do anymore and I don't feel the need to put myself around idiots just to not feel lonely anymore. The downside is that I'm REALLY lonely now. I have 1 best friend but she recently got a boyfriend and doesn't usually have time for me anymore.
I"m a f INFJ and I really wish I could find more INFP and ENTP friends.
What's your type, robots?
ESFP.
Intj.
I don't understand my feelings or relate to 95% of people.
>>25453364
INTP, the most patrician of all MBTI types
>That'll be $21.50, including tax.
>>25453187
Do you take cocks for tips?
>>25453187
Here you go. Thanks.
>I'll give you a tip.
I think I'm handsome enough to get a gf but I'm deathly afraid of her finding out about my small dick.
The biggest thing holding me back is my member
>>25453175
I'm not attractive and have a tiny dick suck my gf on the reg
>>25453175
What's your size OP? You have a micropenis?
>>25453235
Like 4 inches. Barely
Who else /obsessive/ here?
It's probably the reason I can't get a gf, I always get oneitis, then I become extremely obsessed with them. I want to know how and what they eat, when they go to sleep, what music and movies and vidya they are into, what their breathing pattern is, how often they blink, what they wear, I want to know basically everything.
I create elaborate fantasies about them that I jot down in my journals. I create music and art that I devote to them. I even make an altar for the girl that I am obsessing over at the time.
In public I will usually stare her in the eyes and always wonder about what she is thinking. I ask questions. Many, many questions but I always keep a sort of filter on me so I don't scare them off too soon. I keep the questions simple but in the end I still get a lot of extra implied information out of them when I read between the lines.
I follow their every online activity and save every single one of their pictures that pop out. Sometimes when I'm feeling bold enough, I go through their phones when they're not looking and detail every single piece of info that I can in the time allotted, usually starting off with their call history and who they've been texting, then I go through their camera and video to find any hidden pics and send it to my email (which is a throwaway so even if they discover that their stuff was sent, they won't know it's me).
I derive so much joy out of finding out all of this information. It gives me purpose in a purposeless existence.
>>25453156
no one eh? surprising
>>25453156
>>25453255
Sounds unhealthy. Shouldn't make attachments like that
>>25453381
It gives me joy but I just can't stop, it's like an addiction. I tried man believe me I really tried. This is my purpose.
Why is it Asian women don't want Asian men but they also don't want anyone else to have them either?why are they so greedy?
Explain
>>25452963
Women don't want someone they passed up to become sexually successful because that increases desirability in their fucked up sexuality and makes her decision regrettable.
Im asian and the last thing i want is an asian gf theyre all short and covered in makeup rather have me one of them white boys
>>25452963
they want asian men. all women want some asian dick
>smoked weed, never felt high
>drank, never felt drunk
>took tylenol 3, still felt pain
what am I doing wrong
>what am I doing wrong
Not enough.
The weed was oregano
The stuff you drank was water
The pills you took was birthcontrol pills
get some 1p-lsd,, dph or 2c-p (both legal).
then eat the whole bag. if you're like me, you should feel a strong buzz, like what other people describe being drunk is like
My dad got drunk again. Fine, he's a grown man, he can do what he wants. But then he starts to mess with me when he's drunk. It's happened so many times. He threatens me, insults me, breaks things. Gets the neighbors involved and sometimes the police involved.
Why bros? I am polite and helpful. I delivered some documents for him just a few days ago. I help around the house. I am making progress in my career but don't have enough money to move out yet. So if he hates me so much why doesn't he give me money to leave? Why are people like this? Why are retards like this allowed to have children and make their lives miserable?
I don't want to kill him because I don't want to go to jail. I have no one to talk to about this. No friends, no gf. This is life.
>>25452948
record when he's drunk and show him
Because you're a fucking miserable failure, and every time he looks at what a useless piece of shit you are, he blames himself, starts drinking, then rightfully takes it out on you.
The only reason he keeps you around is because you're too pathetic to support yourself so It's cheaper to just keep you around and use you as an emotional punching bag.
>>25452948
I feels you OP my mom does the same maybe not to the extent that your father does to you. But honestly it's gotten so bad that I personally don't drink alcohol.
do you think its real love?
real cummies
>>25452923
I've never cared less about something.
last pic
Do you think you'll still be posting here when you reach middle age(40-50 years old)?
Where else would I go?
no, i'll kill myself before i become a wizard so i'll never see 30 even
i honestly dont know. ive been thinking about it and i cant see a point in my future where i would ditch this sorta stuff.
thinking about the fact that some day i will log off of steam for the last time, it seems super depressing on one hand, but super unrealistic on the other.
