Easy way to get a heart attack
>>24946625
Easier way
Slow and easy does it
heart murmurs
>don't want to go to college but feel like it's the only way to possibly escape permanent wagiedom
>social anxiety makes having an ordinary job challenging
>don't want to be a NEET
>don't want to kill self
>everything i'm interested in has next to no money-making potential
>have no driving passions to pursue
>creeping sense of dread...
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I just don't want to be alone, man.
>>24946579
Fuck, OP. You're literally me.
Anyway,
>2 weeks ago
>pick up like 3 job apps
>haven't touched them because I'm so depressed, all I want to do is lie in bed all day
>feel like shit because I know I'm fucking up my future
>tick tock
The ride never ends.
>>24946579
In college currently. Have no friends no matter what I try.
Fuck me.
>go get a haircut
>"just ever so slightly shorter"
>she fuck my shit up, way too short and just shit in general
>have to go through life looking like an effeminate gay dude for the next couple of months
Thanks faem.
>Buy clippers for $20
>Set to 2
>Shave over entire head
>>24946481
>getting a short haircut
why?
>you're thinning on top. want me to not cut that part as much?
>Best friends with chad, because I knew him before he became super attractive.
>I fucking hate him for it.
>All the girls that start kind of liking me, immediately fall for him and his good looks and social skills. They forget about me.
>I simultaneously hate and fucking love my best friend because this keep happening
>My best friend ends up telling me that he actually purposely steals girls from me because he actually is...
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Either write him out of your life or be a kek forever. I mean what the fuck, he says he's your friend but he gets off to your suffering? Sounds like a parasite.
Call him a faggot and cut all contact with him
then start listening to oi! and skinhead punk
start hanging out with skinheads, get tattoos and join them and all that shit
then call your friend and tell him "look man, i'm sorry the way I acted, i didn't know how to react. can you please meet me? I need to properly apologize"
then you and your skinhead lads jump him and beath him to death
>>24946413
Have threesomes with him and make him your top bitch.
Tick tock...
Hear that?
It's your last day of freedom before return to work wagekeks. Make the best of it...
>>24946360
It's 11pm mr. frog
>>24946383
An extra hour of freedom is everything to a wagekek, yet nothing to a NEET. See how wagekeks scramble for the little bit of free time they can.
>>24946539
Im a homosexual
I have a small dick fetish. Who has the smallest dick on r9k?
>>24946323
Isn't that what all cocks look like when flaccid?
>>24946394
he isnt flaccid
>>24946394
no I have an average dick and I am 3 times as big flacid
Can an attractive person be a robot?
>>24946262
>that 5 strand comb over
why doesnt eggman just buy a wig
>>24946262
Whats the definition of a robot again?
Literally no. Being attractive immediately nullifies almost all of life's hardships.
This is what /r/4chan looks like right now
good for them i guess
whats the point talking about 4chan out of 4chan?
>>24946294
it's like going to a zoo vs a safari
>>24946294
karma, of course
I come from the future
Now introducing the next president, Hillary Clinton
>beats Bernie Sanders by one of the largest margins in history to become the democratic candidate
>beats our opponent Donald Trump in a landslide victory
How do you like your new president?
>>24946185
she's a qt desu desu
Feels p good senpai. I welcome our new cold heartless overlord.
>>24946208
she definitely was a qt back then
WHY ARE WOMEN SO FUCKING ATTACHED TO THEIR CHILLINS
Because the human race can't survive otherwise.
>>24946441
it fucking kills me when i see women being completely oblivious to everything but their little chillins
>>24946127
People forgot we are a bag of water and chemicals. When she gives birth, body releases a shit ton of oxytocin which is the chemical that makes people form bonds. You release it when you have sex too, if I'm not mistaken you release a shit ton when you lose your virginity. I do recall a study concerning this, that's why first break ups are the hardest apparently. Not to sound edgy but love is quite literally a name we give to chemical responses that react to environmental stimuli.
>Major in computer science they said
>100k starting they said
I graduated last semester with a CS degree and I still cant find a job. Why?
>>24946056
GPA senpai?
>>24946056
Did you make connections? Did you intern? Paying for those opportunities is almost as important as the actual degree.
>>24946089
Exactly this.
You don't a job AFTER the diploma, you get it DURING the diploma.
>Son, a package came for you today. I think it's another one of your dolls.
Why would you buy dolls if this is going to be your response to the situation?
>he doesn't send his dolls to a po box
What are up, some kind of peasant?
>>24945914
>Son, a package came for you today.I opened it by mistake, what is aneros?
Do you think women are really mentally stunted or are they just pretending?
do you think robots are really mentally stunted or are they just trolling?
>>24945872
its hard to grow up when society treats you like a child
Wtf is an art therapist?
ITT we post goddesses
>>24945680
Want to go down on her so bad.
godess #1
goddess #2
Ask someone who
>Went and spent $100 at an asian massage parlor and didnt get a handjob
>Same day, went to a prostitute $60, and didnt cum
Anything
Do you like Leo DiCaprio?
I like him.
>>24945655
Prostitute for $60? Sounds sketchy
>>24945655
Nah
>>24945690
for 30 minutes, and I ate her out too.