Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 4403. page
- Home
- Board: /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
- Reading: Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 4403. page
Hey faggots. I will be here to give tarot readings.
>Name
>Age
>Query
>Number from 1 to 4
Anyone who wants to jump in and give readings are welcome. Good luck.
>Faggot
>20
>Should I kill myself?
>1
Now's the time to ask whether Stacey will love you back even though you already know the answer
I need a date of birth to do a reading
give me every gif you have of this woman please /r9k/
you're in luck anon. i got you brah!!
see: filename
should i post some more? i more if u are interested
>>27495230
>>27495267
ty bruz luv u
keep posting i want them all :^)))))))))))))
http://global.thermonuclearwar.org/
Let's nuke chad together
FUCK OFF IRELAND REEEEEEE
>>27494846
kek, i'm moscow. when you entered i saw 5 shots at israel and about 30 at chad in 10 seconds
FUCKING CHOCOLATE AND GOLD NIGGERS
REEE
What do you White robots, meaning forever alone kiss-less virgins, think of us non-white robots? Do you hate us and love Chad and Stacey cause they are White?
>>27493419
No you're fine. Don't worry about racism so much it fucks with your self esteem. I'm part of generation cuck now.
At least Chad and Stacy belong here. All non-whites in white countries are invaders who came to leech off of white people, robots or not.
>>27493444
Well, being White still makes you superior. It is better to be a White cuck than a Nigger millionaire.
I have a job interview for a $45k job, my dad is pushing me towards. I figure if I'm going to work in life, I need some pleasures to buy. I'll never win a girl the Darwinian way, so maybe I can buy one the capitalist way.
I had been thinking of seeing an escort since 2008, but was too worried. But I went through an agency and it was very easy. $160 plus $20 tip. Considering the cost it would take me to 'earn' a girl for free it was a bargain.
I was expecting a Romanian Eastern European type. But she had no accent. All-American. She could have billed herself as a WASP coed. Shes been here for 15 years. Shes studying journalism this is her final year. She has real jobs and internships. So shes more like a Sugar Baby than an escort.
She stripped right away. Which was probably a mistake. I should have stretched out the undies stripping, since its my fetish. So she tries giving me a handjob and blowjob, but nothing works. I go into her vagina sem-hard. Pounding away several times. Finally I just have her dance for me in my panties and fap with my IRON GRIP HAND. I was cucked by my own hand. My hand can get me off, but vagina, mouth and weak female hands can't.
Once I've proven I can cum to an iron grip, I want another chance in my 10 min left. But she says it wont work. She tried. My dick is just too soft and bent. So I hang out with her in her panties a little longer. Then I make some excuse about how its my 1st time visting, and maybe I'd be better. She said yeah maybe you were just nervous. I slink out in defeat.
I've always been metaphorically impotent as in powerless, now I know I'm literally impotent as in sexually.
Does this even count as 'sex', sticking my dick into her mouth and vagina without cumming?
>>27493105
She had curly dirty blonde/ light brunette hair so Jessica Spano is the closest I could think of her.
Oh well at least this relieves me of the regret of my years of inceldom. If I had actually attracted a girl, dated her, and had my big moment. It would have just been me shoving my limp soft dick into her pussy. While she pities me. With an escort I call it a negative learning experience. With a crush I loved, this would have been an emotional trauma that defined my life.
As it is, I have nothing going for me socially, and these Escorts was supposed to be what gave me meaning in life. But I'm not even capable of sex. I can't complain about the setup. It was as good as I imagine sex with my crush would be. She was a beautiful All-American curly coed sugarbaby. My dick just can't do it. I still gave her a $20 tip, it wasn't her fault, and she really did try to get me hard.
But if this was my last stop before suicide, it would just confirm this life is shit. Unless I want to keep practicing sex until I GET good at it. But if your dick can't get hard in a vagina, how do you advance from that?
I never have this problem lol. Damn I am pretty fucking awesome.
>>27493601
What do you do to get hard?
>lose both legs
>lose both arms
choose one
>>27490049
Leg's obviously, what kind of retarded question is that?
Legs
Wtf are you gonna do without arms? You can't eat, you cant fap, you can't even wipe your ass after a shit
Legs duh.
>wheelchair
>prosthetic legs
>if/when bionic technology becomes available bionic legs are top tier
Alright robots, I'm not sure if many of you remember me but I made a thread some days ago asking for help.
fast greentext here before I explain what happened.
>Watch too much weird porn (bdsm, traps, interracial, etc)
>Wanting to stop but my dick doesn't get hard anymore unless I imagine myself as the woman being degraded
>Tried everything like stopping watching porn already for months and I only got worse (getting erections by looking at men on the street and imagining them face fucking me)
>Can't control my hate for women, literally get jelly as fuck to the point of having teary eyes when I look at a happy girl in the street.
>Too scared of my family finding out I have fucked up fetishes / sexuality now.
I will continue on pt 2 with the explanation of what happened just some hours ago.
Also posting the same pic so you guys remember who I am from the thread days ago.
PT 2
Ok, now let me tell you guys what happened just this morning.
My sister needed to use the computer to print a bill on some crap she bought (she doesn't have a credit card so she was going to ask my mom to use the banknet thing and do a wire transfer).
She ended up fiding my sissy / trans stash, and I had a shitload of stuff, like videos, pictures, captions (like those "you're a issy white boy, now kneel and enjoy the bbc" etc)
Well at least I think she found out because an hour later my mother comes in my room and asks me if I'm gay and why I have that degrading porn on my computer.
Then I felt like shit, like I had a bomb or something in my stomach, I couldn't say anything and I tried to keep some straight face, like "it's a virus I guess, I don't know what you're talking about"
Then she kept pressuring me and saying she was going to tell my dad about it.
I broke down crying and tried to explain her that I don't know but I think I'm trans.
She looked me with a disgusted face and left the room, I think she called my dad.
Now what the fuck do I do? I'm a NEET, fucked up porn posted in 4chan kinda pushed me into weird shit and I got fucked up fetishes and I think my life that was pretty shitty already got worse and it's over.
I'm 24 btw.
Literally all I feared happened.
Literally kill yourself. You are human garbage
Or you know, move out, get a job, be an adult.
Then you can be the kinkiest faggyiest fag you can be all on your own.
Or just keep wallowing in self pity and swallow a bullet idgaf
I want to end my life very soon. Anybody ever tried suicide here?
>https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=1aFlZUTiEDU
That kid looks young...
>>27496200
Yes.... im paralyzed half of my body and no one talks to me. My face is half blown off and can barely live. I should have aimed better.
I tried it once and now I am a ghost.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autofellatio
>British school boy's masturbation club
>one boy's penis was so large he could suck his own dick
i could do it a few years ago
i'm only 5" though
>>27495993
This. I could do it balls deep when I was younger, pretty much was throwing out my neck/ back.
It's hot in theory but not in practice. Your body will be more focused on the pain required to stretch that way and even your mouth than your actual penis. Also, it only takes from the time the cum leaves hour penis to enter your mouth to make you realize how bad of an idea it was to cum in your mouth.
Why don't you have a girlfriend?
(originality)
>>27495527
Because I love freedom more
>>27495527
I can make her laugh, but I can't make her smile.
Because I'm 5' 6".
L I T E R A L L Y the only reason.
what a lucky bastard
>>27495508
>survived
>lucky
where do you think you are?
>>27495536
He's lucky because he died you dumb fuck.
>>27495508
so what's keeping you from sliding sideways into a tree at 150 kmh?
What are the long term results of an open relationship?
It seems like a lot of people are into them nowadays
>>27495196
No, it's just an internet meme
>>27495196
it means youre a cuck faggot
>>27495196
Depends. For a lot of people it just leads to emotional turmoil.
What's your favorite way to masturbate, robots?
I get turned on by smoking so I go to a nice forest and smoke some cigarettes while laying in a bush and masturbating.
Smokey the bear would be so unbelievably disappointed in you
>>27495183
Why not smoke inside, why do you need to go out and find a bush to do this?
>>27495202
I'm not in the US and I don't think Smokey cares about European forests.
Have you checked if you are low test yet?
I'm bottom left
>>27495148
Bottom left checks out escept I haven't had sex
>tfw bottom left
>tfw wizard
If you like Asuka over Rei your not a real robot and you need to leave this board
>>27495037
If you like Shamshel over Sachiel you're not a real robot and you need to leave this board
>>27495037
>if you're not exactly like me in any aspect you're not a robot
>>27495037
I'm an Asukafag but fwiw I liked Yuki over Haruhi.
