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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 2418. page


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A girl orbiter brought all of this for me, and im still not fucking her.

This is hilarious.
40 posts and 5 images submitted.
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Elaborate OP.
Who is she?
How do you know her?
How do you know she's a orbiter?
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>>28848416
Your mom doesn't count as an orbiter, faggot
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>>28848416
You should get her to bring you a camera that is not a potato

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>tfw no 18x bf
10 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>28848396
What does 18x mean?
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>>28848434
he want's 18 bfs
>>
is a 74d bf okay?

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This is the future you chose.
Only despair now.
39 posts and 10 images submitted.
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>>28848389
I didn't choose to have shit endomorph genes
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>>28848389
His skeleton is crying

Press F to pay respects to trooper skelly.
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>>28848475
F

What is that like 100lbs of body fat?
At 2lbs a week, he could be almost underweight for his height in just 50 weeks. One year.

Of course he would need to eat right and exercise for the whole time, but it's not impossible.

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>want to go see a shrink
>if I was 100% honest with them they'd just lock me up again

anyone know this feel?
11 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>28848372
>again
ok
>>
Why would they lock up such a fine gentleman like you, OP?
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>>28848372
Get meds tell them only enough

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Pic unrelated

Does anybody have any tips on finding girlfriend's vagina?

Each other have only been having sex for the last couple months now, and we're still having trouble finding the hole at times, which leads to awkward and frustrating sex at times
16 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>28848350
Throw flour and stick your dick in the wet spot.
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the far right wing should go full Islam. kek
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>>28848379

Kek.

>>28848350

Have you tried looking at her vagina?

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>Be 27
>Mildly successful (45k/yr after taxes)
>Work a 9-5 job, it's boring but low-stress
>Live in a 1 BR apartment in a decent neighborhood
>Mom visits after I get off work to give me some cookies
>"So what do you do after you get home from work?"
>Tell her my daily routine (watch a little TV, shower, smoke a little weed, eat dinner, play vidya, go to bed)
>"Isn't that a little lonely? It's just you by yourself day after day after day."
>Tell her I have friends that I hang out with on weekends
>"I know, but I mean a girlfriend or someone you can come home to."
>Tell her I haven't really thought about it (I've actually given up, being a KV and all)
>"Well, I hope you find a nice girl."

Even some of my friends are getting married now, which means I won't be able to hang out with them. I didn't think about being alone for the rest of my life, and now that I think about it, it's actually pretty depressing. I come home to an quiet and empty apartment, day in, day out. Sure, I have things that would make robots happy (fancy bed, big TV, top-tier PC, sporty car, etc), but they're just fleeting material possessions. Is this really the end for me? I don't feel that bad about my situation now, but I feel like in a few years, the loneliness will get to me. Other people have something real to live for, and I'm just here by myself.
11 posts and 2 images submitted.
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You'll always have us.

Love you.
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>>28848326
In a few years your friends will start getting divorced.
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>>28848326
Just ascend to the next level.

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I feel sorry for little girls. I remember talking to girls my age when I was a kid and some of them seemed like they had a lot of potential.
Fast forward a decade and they're all idiots who have no personality. You can't tell two of them apart based on the way they type. What the hell happens during puberty that puts an end to this potential?
47 posts and 5 images submitted.
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they evolved to make babies and keep them alive. now society frowns on that, so the one thing they were good at they're not now because it has negative social consequences.

no point giving a shit about it, bitches are bitches.
>>
In elementary school I got bullied a lot, but there was this girl named we can call E. E was sweet to me, chubby girl who was nice despite me being a shy chubster, after I moved I connected with one of my only friends from my old school, here is how E turned out.
>After I left in 6th grade she stayed consistently smart until grade 8
>She got her first "boyfriend" who was the same age
>She went try hard emo after they broke up, despite dating for like two months
>Cutting, throwing up to loose weight, threatening suicide
>Over one guy who she knew for less than 4 months
>Grade 10 she becomes average stacy after befriending the right group
>Got heavy into weed
>Everybody got heavy into her
>She lost her V card in a 4 on 1 gangbang
>She didn't know any of them until the night it happened
>Got caught having sex with a released drug dealer behind a police station
>Got caught jerking off a 32 year old for some weed with a friend by her mother
her mom was a wonderful woman btw still is
>Grade 11 she got suspended for a month for having sex against her locker which faces a classroom
>Blew some guy during a football game
fun fact I was playing her school during that game, we all wondered why the crowd was distracted
>Senior year she got kicked out of our school district for having a three way during class because a teacher asked them to stop talking
I think it was an exaggeration, I also heard she just like got naked and rubbed against some girl
>New school district she went without incident until last week at her prom when it got shut down because she ODed in the bathroom
>She's ok
>Her little sister asks her parents to move away from her big sis
>Dad pretends she doesn't exist
>Mom is only one who thinks she can be saved
dont do drugs
dont do dick
got more if theres interest, in depth stories if youd like
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>>28848548
>got more if theres interest, in depth stories if youd like
I'm sick and in bed so if you don't mind typing them up I'll definitely read them.

i have finally given up on getting a gf guys
i will accept the fact that i will end up alone for the rest of my life, never try again to get what i can't have or deserve.
>be me
>beta af
>have no friends
>kissless virgin
>no one finds me attractive
>no girl even knows my name
>tries to get their attention, fail as usual
>switch to facebook
>find a girl who seems to have many things in common with me
>give it one last try
>start chatting and stuff
>like her more and more
>work hard to keep the relation going
>friendzone me as usual
that's is no more tries, no morefails, no more pain and hating my self, if it is going to be like that then let it be, i don't care anymore
i came up with only one thing to keep in mind
some of are never mentioned to have friends or gfs in life no matter,
i always ended up looking for someone that doesn't exist, and this what happened to me!!!
12 posts and 1 images submitted.
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'never ever give up' - donald j trump

you will find girl op. she will come to you and love you and be everything yo u always wanted. dont give up. shes out there looking for you
>>
dont kill self anon pls. shes out there, i know it
>>
>>28848329
i am afraid it is too late for me
already made the choice, who ever is looking for he will find eventualy, until then i will be walking on my way "alone" i don't time to wast on waiting for something might never come or someone that never exist

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hey /r9k/ my girlfriend is pregnant. what do?
21 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>28848227
kick her in the balls
>>
notify the father
>>
Did you atleast prep the bull?

How does one acquire full-body bulletproof armor?
14 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>28848200
y Anon u gonna shoot up a school?
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>>28848294
seems legit
http://www.marsarmor.com/
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>>28848200
bumping for intense interest

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Do you robots identify with holden caufield. I recently re-read it and I see even more of myself in holden caufield

Also fucking that faggot maurice, holden was based for refusing to give him the money
30 posts and 7 images submitted.
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>>28848177
Was Salinger a robot?
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>>28848205
absolutely, you have to be to be able to write up someone like caufield
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>>28848177
>calls up a prostitute
>just wants to talk
>gets beat up by her alpha chad gigolo
Holden was just like us

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A girl was raped by 30 guys in Brazil
What do you make of that, /r9k/?
36 posts and 7 images submitted.
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Well that sucks

It's not even about hating women versus not hating women, hating minorities versus not hating minorities. People are just animals. And that sucks.
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>>28848169
It sounds like an average day in Braseel to me.
>>
Whatever man. Thats life.

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Hooker gave me a blowjob about a week ago, without a condom. Ever since then tip of my penis has been itching me like crazy. It's not like a burning sensation, but an itch. Anybody knows what this could probably be? Hopefully it's a curable STD/STI, or maybe this is just my anxiety running on.
25 posts and 3 images submitted.
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Sounds like an oral to penile fungus

Serves you write for letter a filthy hooker slob on your knob.
>>
its cancer aids
>>
sounds like syphillis. some places give free std tests you idiot

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Do you feel guilty for being a loser? Especially towards your parents?
47 posts and 6 images submitted.
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>>28848113
My parents gave me their loser genetics.

>tfw

>overweight skinnyfat even though I eat extremely healthy
>eyebags
>pale w/ vitiligo
>baggy eyes
>baby face
>receding hairline
>cystic acne

Fuck 'em.
>>
>>28848163
Do you actively hate them or just resent them?
>>
>>28848113
Yes.

My parents brought me into this world through no choice of my own, and I really believe that means they're responsible for me and it's not morally reasonable to expect someone to accept responsibility for their own life when they never agreed to any of it.

I still feel guilty. My parents may not have been perfect (they raised an absolute failure of a NEET KHHV son, after all) but they did love me and at least try. I wish I could at least get a job and cover some of my expenses. I wish I could make them proud of me. I wish they didn't have to feel like everything they've done was all for nothing, or even worse feel like everything they've done just led to my suffering.

Sorry mom and dad...

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>SQUAWK SQUAWK WITE BOI
16 posts and 8 images submitted.
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>>28848055
But OP, that no pump a rum, that no pickle pee.
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>>28848055
We should really be giving more animals knives
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>how ironic that I will be the one eating crow tonight

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