Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 2420. page
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I'm at a bar alone browsing the chans, please help.
I've made this origami with the receipt.
I have paruresis, so I can't use the bathroom.
then go home you piece of retarded shit
Whats the point in going to a bar
>my penis is thicker and larger than my dads
>>28847269
How did you find that out?
>>28847655
Isn't a big secret. He goes naked from bathroom to his room after the shower.
>>28847674
Do you ever give him a good tug?
Choose a girl:
a) 9/10 FWB, has a boyfriend besides you who won't find out about you unless you go out of your way to let him know, she doesn't have sex with anyone other than you and him. Friendly to normal fetishes like feet and light bondage, won't do anything crazy. Won't get jealous if you get another girlfriend.
b) 7/10 gf, ideal personality (to your perspective). Won't let you put your dick in her pussy or ass for the first five years of the relationship, will do anything else. You get to dictate how the relationship goes, whether you move in together, etc. Won't cheat on you, won't break up with you unless she finds out you cheated on her or if you rape her or something.
Hypothetical question thread, ask more.
If I had to choose, b.
I've already gone 20+ years without sex.
B for sure
>>28847196
B assuming she is a virgin of course.
>be me
>mom is white, dad is black, both American
>I'm originally of Russian nationality, but my parents adopted me from some shithole orphanage in Novosibirsk when I was a toddler
>consider myself American since it's pretty much the only country I've ever known
>legit owe them my life, can't even imagine the kind of life I'd have endured if they hadn't accepted me into their family and brought me to the states
>while I was downstairs getting some juice, dad went into my room to collect some laundry
>I'm coming up the stairs when he stiffly walks past me with a weird expression on his face
>go into my room, oh god
>left a /pol/ thread open discussing why niggers need to be exterminated, why they're lower than beasts etc.
>I was in the middle of submitting a post
>can heard muffled sobs coming from my parents room
How the fuck do I fix this.
Wallow in your own filth, /pol/tard.
lol
what was in your post?
>>28847211
I already am. I feel fucking disgusting.
>>28847223
I'm not even going to repeat what it was I typed but it was bad. I feel so ashamed.
>Hey anon I know you must be really bummed you haven't met your future new step sister yet! Here's a link one of those profile-ly-do's you kids are always using, she thinks it really help you two get to know each other before we all move in together!"
What do you do robots?
>>28847111
Is that real? It must be satire
Consider myself an orphan from here on out.
>>28847111
Fantastic trips.
She's literally more than I can handle right now.
Goodevening /r9k/
Ask a NEET who's been living in motels with his sister and mom for a couple years of his life anything.
>>28847097
Any plans for a more permanent residence? Like by salvaging her credit or something?
how is the sex? stories?
How did you get into this situation?
How horrible is your life?
Do you see any hope for yourself in the future?
Have you had awkward incestous sex with either your mother or sister?
People you automatically hate:
>Jehovah witnesses
>Feminists
>People who go by bullshit terms like "Gender Fluid"
how about you swallow my genderfluid
>hear a knock on my door
>would normally ignore it but was expecting a package
>it's Jehovah's Witnesses
>too beta to turn them away
>spend the next 5 minutes reading bible verses with a retarded nigger and his handler
>>28847146
I did the same thing with 2 qt baptist girls when they came to my door, acted like i cared while tipping my fedora internally.
Obviously i got nowhere with either of them.
ask a drunk deperssed r9kite anything for the next 40 minutes
>>28847033
Do you think normies are killing r9k or is it just a meme?
>>28847205
I think at least a little bit. I think we post enough fucked up shit to keep the 100% normies out though
plus there's not really any avenue for people to feed their narcissism here other than tripfagging
>>28847033
Why haven't you offed yourself yet mate?
Post some songs that make you feel.
https://youtu.be/quMlRhlVR3I
>>28847021
>listening to this queer autistic old man bullshit
and you wonder why you're alone
okay
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vSpVtNzYBM
>>28847058
Post some songs faggot
https://youtu.be/hXlzci1rKNM
Maybe if we make a version of 4chan for underage kids, they'll stop shitting up the board.
>>28847016
But then what about you?
You wouldn't be able to come back
I bet you're twelve.
That already exists, it's called "Reddit" I think.
>Be me
>Be autistic
>Pizza delivery guy knocks on door
>"Cash or debit?"
>Say debit
>He fondles the machine for a bit
>"Do you want to tip?"
>He looks at you longingly
>Respond with "n-n-..."
>He looks like he's about to cry
>"Yes..."
>Pay $5 tip for a $19 pizza
>What would you guys do?
>>28846950
>What would you guys do?
I'd kill that motherfucker and sprinkle his meat on the pizza
I would order online and tip in tip section so the only thing I have to do is grab the pizza from his hands.
I live in Australia, and if there's anything at all I enjoy about this country it's the fact that I'm not forced to tip.
Tipping is the most retarded fucking thing ever.
Anyone else moving to Canada if this fuck wins?
I can't wait until trump wins so I could watch all you faggots who say they'll move out not move out
>>28846931
NO STAY AWAY AMERICUNTS SHOULD MOVE TO MEXICO IT IS A PARADISE
hope hillary wins, the trumpfags tears will be delicious
Ask an anon that's learning how to roll joints anything.
>>28846828
What were you doing in your teens when everyo... oh ok are you underage?
>>28846884
Not OP, but I'm 22 and I still can't roll for shit. All my joints look like croissants.
>>28846828
i consider joints to be a waste unless you roll tiny personal ones.
Planning to move to Switzerland, robros? http://money.cnn.com/2016/05/24/news/economy/switzerland-guaranteed-basic-income/
>>28846812
allahu akbar- that means yes you filthy infidel.
heh, you bloody idiot, that shit is NEVER going to pass
t. swiss
fuck off we're full
>>28846812
>those earning less will have their pay topped off.
So they're saying people should quit and live a comfy neet lifestyle?
That's 30k a year, could easily live on that if you live with like two roommates in a fairly small apartment.
You basically have 90k/year for three people.
tfw not a sandnigger so I can't move to switzestain.
ATTENTION ATTENTION ATTENTION ATTENTION ATTENTION
OH OH! PEPE HAS A DIRTY BOTTOM AND NEEDS YOUR HELP
WIPE PEPE'S BOTTOM AND YOU WILL GET A GIRLFRIEND 100% GUARANTEED
TYPE IN *WIPES PEPE'S BOTTOM* AND THE GF OF YOUR DREAMS WILL BE YOUR WITHIN A WEEK!
>>28846770
*wipes your bottom*
>>28846770
Peenus
*WIPES PIPES BOTTOM*
