Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 538. page
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I have this horrible problem with doing accidental jazz hands. Just one example;
>see girl I sometimes hang out with as part of a group
>more of a friend of a friend
>the whole group usually hug each other when greeting
>always awkwardly accept hugs
>gonna be bold and prepared today
>"Hey anon"
>"Hey girl"
>reach out to hug
>realise she isn't doing it back
>she's looking at me strangely
>try to brush it off with jazz hands
>oh fuck
>jazz hands
>JAZZ HANDS
>JAZZ
>HANDS
>girl just looking at me confused then tells me she's running late
>fuck
This isn't even the only time fucking Jazz Hands have struck out of nowhere. Please tell me I'm not the only one this happens to?
Another one;
>be walking down street
>see someone I used to go to school with
>unsure if hey recognise me so decide not to make things awkward
>be sort of awkwardly fiddling around, adjusting glasses, both hands at my face
>she suddenly smiles and waves at me
>instantly hands leave glasses and both start waving
>both waving
>JAZZ FUCKING HANDS
>girl sort of laughs awkwardly
>she thinks I did it on purpose I bet
And another;
>be in doctor's surgery waiting for appointment
>it's fairly busy and noisy
>my name gets called
>see old woman get up, probably misheard
>sudden irrational panic that this old woman might take my appointment
>stand up and run towards nurse
>"That's me!"
>Old woman looks at me fiercely
>intend to hold my hands up in a combination of -They called my name. I'm sorry. Self defence
>JAZZ HANDS STRIKE
>Fuck
>doing jazz hands
>bemused nurse
>pissed old lady
>perplexed waiting room
>fuck
I'm sorry that you have to deal with this, OP. Maybe I should be the one to inform you that Jazz Hands syndrome is often lethal in its latter stages, as the victim is unable to stop shaking his hands until his heart gives out in exhaustion. There is no known cure at this time. You might have to get your hands amputated and get some transplant hands from a "square". Of course, mistakes have been made, as it's difficult to distinguish the "square" type and the "daddy-o" type. Your transplants might turn out to be an even stronger "daddy-o" type than you were dealing with before, which plummets your risk of survival substantially. Suffice to say, things don't look very good for you at all.
Just hang in there, soldier.
How fucked are you guys?
I can't even sleep without taking several pills of xanax every day. I get panic attacks at night. I was diagnosed as paranoid in my youth but I never thought I'd require medical treatment for that.
Madman with no meds.
Just smoke cigarettes and only sleep when you're too physically exhausted for anything else.
Used to be addicted to opiates for a year or so cuz I was depressed, but I quit them a little over 8 months ago when euphoria subsided and all I got was extreme sedation. I'll go back to them eventually, but I'm not gonna go balls to the wall with them again seeing as I'm not depressed anymore. I'm prescribed 60 xanax bars a month for anxiety, but I only really take them when I can't sleep or when I have panic attacks. Other than that I just smoke weed everyday.
>>29787715
I have an on and off relationship with Kratom, and sometimes drink to excess, though I used to drink a lot more.
I also take Ativan but I only get 15 .5mg pills a monthamd purposefully refuse to ask for mlan increase because I just know I'd end up going overboard and becoming physically dependent.
Hey robot~kuns can someone teach me how to best use my boipucci and what toys are good for beginners?
Also Boipucci General
You should get a cute boy from /r9k/ to help you learn how to use it~
>>29787806
Is that an invitation?~
If not have any tips for someone new to using their boipucci?
Do you ever look at what you write and feel bad about yourself?
Because you fucking should.
Redpill me on "The Red Pill" cult, lads. Are they legit, or just fedora autists full of cringe fanfiction?
8/10 tinfoil memetics
2/10 legit
>>29787689
/pol/ redpill or the /r9k/ redpill?Both speak the truth about life btw.
how about i just shove a red pill up your asshole?
>race war rapidly approaching
>born white
>i will ALWAYS be the villain, no matter what the circumstance, no matter how good a person i am
>>29787672
>tfw watching Angry birds movie and you start chanting race war when the birds begin to attack the pigs
>>29787722
>Tfw half-breed
>White enough facial features to blend in if I stay out of the sun
>Can look non-white if I tan
When the race war comes I'll be the perfect chameleon!
what tempurature do u keep it in ur house and what state / country r u in?
>75
>new york
71 masterrace
cali
>tempuratute
off yourself you absolute scum
That AC thing looks fancy, you rich or something?
My uncle is a richfag, his AC system is like $65,000
So I took a dump and it hurt like hell, and I turned around and saw this so I took a picture. Looks like a black cock.
Thoughts?
Take it out and do an alaskan pipeline with it.
>>29787586
put it back in your ass desu
>>29787681
>>29787705
I left the bathroom and someone flushed it down. Sorry.
Hey /r9k/ it's my birthday today, I was wondering if some fembot will record herself farting/braaaping
then say "Happy birthday Tristan!, I hope you liked your little present"
I don't mean to sound too demanding if this is but I will appreciate it very much. VERY MUCH.
Please, nobody is celebrating me being alive. So I at least get this right?
hbd
safasg
>>29787633
I'm not a girl, but happy birthday anyways...
Sorry...
>1st year of college (mature age)
>only doing 2 classes
>takes up most of my time
>getting STUDY-BUX from the government and living at home with my mom so don't need to work
>have no social life and never go out
>doing pretty well (GPA is near 4.0)
....
>see other people
>they're all doing 4-5 classes
>they're all at least working part-time or full-time hours
>they have massive social lives and go out often
How do they do it?
Because they aren't failures like you
>>29787517
>How do they do it?
youth.
How can only 2 classes take up most of your time?
When will you realize you're not entitled to anything in life? Love, kindness, happiness, sex --you don't "deserve" any of this. Be happy people can even tolerate your miserable existence.
What are the implications of this?
I don't like fruitless endeavors in life.
>>29787491
go away troll feminist reddit and facebook can have your pc opinions
>go to the beach to swim
>see a girl with fat ass and small bikini
I want to touch it.
I want to squeeze it.
I want to bury my face in it.
Why god.
Why am I denied such a basic human need?
>>29787435
Because you're a creep, you're a weirdo.
did you even try to talk to her?
i was on the same situation as you, i never dared
Save up $150-$200 for a quality hooker and you won't be denied that basic human need.
>country I was born in no longer exists
>siblings haven't talked to me in years
>children are a disappointment to me
>bitch ex-wife never leaves me alone
any old robots on here? Sometimes I feel like packing my shit up and moving to South East Asia.
Yugoslavia was pretty cool.
>country I was born in no longer exists
Where the fuck are you from? Africa?
Or european africa (the balkans)?
>>29787423
Should I marry?
Should I enroll in a humanishits degree, even though it's free?
The girls over at lolcows have been chewing out NEETs on their /b/ board.
THEY ARE WATCHING AND STUDYING US.
I've tried to defend you BUT I NEED REINFORCEMENTS. GET IN HERE!
>>29787391
That place is the absolute worst
Not even over the fact they are a majority female version of 4chan but more so the fact they all hate r9k and robots with a passion and yet these women are the same fem"""""""bots"""""" you'll see posting in r9k
Not to mention they keep the same threads for months/years and not even over a low userbase issue.
>>29787391
If I gave a fuck what other people thought of me, especially females, I wouldn't be a NEET to begin with.
Putting effort and work into defending NEEThood basically goes against the very core principles of being NEET.
lmao
NEETS ASSEMBLE
>tfw you can't enjoy buttstuff anymore because you were too rough with yourself
>Butthole is still swollen after two weeks, sometimes mild interior pain
>Really want to fap with my butt again
Am I permanently fucked? Will this never get better?
See a doctor. At the least, you'll need anti-inflammatories.
>>29787371
girl butt or boy butt?
>You will never have the feeling of the first anal orgasm againWhy even live?
Fembots, how easy is it for you to reject men? Do you have any interesting or hilarious experiences?
hijacking this thread. Would you rather be outright rejected or would you rather they dodge the question every time you ask them to every single fucking time until you just lose the will to do anything.
>>29787343
I hate rejecting men, Ive only had to do it twice.
I knew after I did it they wouldn't want to talk to me anymore either, I hate losing people.
>>29787364
Most people would rather be let down gently by being rejected through subtle cues.
But autists, by definition, can't handle social abstraction, so a lot of people on /r9k/ would rather be rejected outright, because it's pretty much the only way they can be rejected
