Accidental Jazz Hands
- Home
- Board: /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
- Reading: Accidental Jazz Hands
I have this horrible problem with doing accidental jazz hands. Just one example;
>see girl I sometimes hang out with as part of a group
>more of a friend of a friend
>the whole group usually hug each other when greeting
>always awkwardly accept hugs
>gonna be bold and prepared today
>"Hey anon"
>"Hey girl"
>reach out to hug
>realise she isn't doing it back
>she's looking at me strangely
>try to brush it off with jazz hands
>oh fuck
>jazz hands
>JAZZ HANDS
>JAZZ
>HANDS
>girl just looking at me confused then tells me she's running late
>fuck
This isn't even the only time fucking Jazz Hands have struck out of nowhere. Please tell me I'm not the only one this happens to?
Another one;
>be walking down street
>see someone I used to go to school with
>unsure if hey recognise me so decide not to make things awkward
>be sort of awkwardly fiddling around, adjusting glasses, both hands at my face
>she suddenly smiles and waves at me
>instantly hands leave glasses and both start waving
>both waving
>JAZZ FUCKING HANDS
>girl sort of laughs awkwardly
>she thinks I did it on purpose I bet
And another;
>be in doctor's surgery waiting for appointment
>it's fairly busy and noisy
>my name gets called
>see old woman get up, probably misheard
>sudden irrational panic that this old woman might take my appointment
>stand up and run towards nurse
>"That's me!"
>Old woman looks at me fiercely
>intend to hold my hands up in a combination of -They called my name. I'm sorry. Self defence
>JAZZ HANDS STRIKE
>Fuck
>doing jazz hands
>bemused nurse
>pissed old lady
>perplexed waiting room
>fuck
I'm sorry that you have to deal with this, OP. Maybe I should be the one to inform you that Jazz Hands syndrome is often lethal in its latter stages, as the victim is unable to stop shaking his hands until his heart gives out in exhaustion. There is no known cure at this time. You might have to get your hands amputated and get some transplant hands from a "square". Of course, mistakes have been made, as it's difficult to distinguish the "square" type and the "daddy-o" type. Your transplants might turn out to be an even stronger "daddy-o" type than you were dealing with before, which plummets your risk of survival substantially. Suffice to say, things don't look very good for you at all.
Just hang in there, soldier.
