Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 5298. page
- Home
- Board: /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
- Reading: Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 5298. page
Pruge when? Edition
>tfw this will never happen in the uk
Dead thread, post waifus
>>26691229
Doing my bit to keep it alive, and posting waifu.
BLACK LIVES MATTER IS COMING TO MY CAMPUS.
I go to a community college and bunch of blacks also go there (most people black or white are trash at my college) and apparently word is out that black lives matter is coming.
I checked the club Facebook page for "black student whatever the fuck" and it is actually happening.
They say
>all white people will know they can't ignore black America we will be loud and we will be engaging the students.
how scared should I be?
>>26687815
they're going to afrorape your boipucci if tbqh.
>>26687815
link to facebook page
just don't go to school that day? when niggers get together in groups all they do is start shit
>one chance @ life
>born in lithuania
Why is that guy holding a gun against your head?
>one chance at life
>born in the Ukraine
>moved to Germany because Jewish and muh 6 trillion
>getting government loans to study a meme degree
>will kill myself and not pay it back
Is the landscape in Lithuania nice at least?
Every Lithuanian I've met has been white as all fuck. Clear blue eyes, fair hair, tall
>be me
>15
>inb4 underage b& I'm 18 now
>Advanced algebra class
>friends with a fellow robot in the class
>he's friends with this girl, E.
>16
>pretty physically unnatractive
>short ass hair, very manly, has thickish peach fuzz across her lip, extraordinarily small tits (but also extraordinarily hot small tits)
>really funny and cute personality, very smart, and mature as hell. She was confident, and rather boyish in personality.
>didn't know I liked manly chicks back then so I kinda just thought "wow a cool girl I can finally be friends with without falling in love with and having to be super embarrassed when she rejects my mildly autistic attempts at flirting"
>She has a boyfriend who browses 4chan (lol).
>The three of us do a group project together, so I get to know E pretty well.
>Fellow robot comes out as bi, but assures me he doesn't find me attractive
>I say why not lol
>we all laugh
>E says she thinks I am very attractive due to my facial symmetry and high cheekbones
>off to summer where we don't talk again til next school year
>Next year we meet again somehow (don't remember the details)
>start talking more
>apparently she used to smoke alot of weed and do lots of psychedelics (mostly illegal, some research chems)
>be very new to drugs
>only smoked weed like 3 times
>I ask her to introduce me to her dealer because I didn't know any
>we start smoking weed together all the time
>People assume we are dating
>she has a different boyfriend now
>didn't think I was attracted to her sexually so I didn't care
>one day she wears a collar to school
>Don't find her physically unnatractive at all anymore
>erectasfuck
>still think we are just friends though and have no inclinations to change anything about our relationship.
>she becomes my best friend, sober or high.
>not really going to go into the shit we did while sober because it was usually just walking around and talking
>come to think of it that's all we ever did sober or high (I guess we played some videogames too)
>One day she is over at my house smoking weed with me
>She asks me to take a bath with her in my huge ass tub
Ok... don't punch your monitor but...
>I refuse
>On account of her having a boyfriend
Holy fucking shit I want to kill myself
>next day
>"yo why did you ask to take a bath with me what the fuck?"
>"IDK it wasn't a sexual thing"
>
>"Well hit me up if you break up with your boyfriend"
>"Ok"
>fast forward quite a few months
>we still hang out together as much as possible
>many sexual innuendos and jokes
>I bet you she talked to me more than her boyfriend, who lived out of town
>Ask her for nudes on my phone one night because I wanted to jerk off to someone I knew
>She refuses (I found out wayy later [from M lol] that she was with her sister M that night, and M convinced her not to send them)
>start falling in love with E, think about her every night
>being with her is the only part of my day that isn't shitty
>I find out one day that she has found a mushroom connect
>We trip that weekend
>The entire time is just me being paranoid that she is having a bad time
>her pores breathe in a way that "looks" like love feels, we both feel moist to the touch (we are tripping balls)
>after a couple hours of hanging out she feels really inspired to write her college application essays
>she leaves to go do that
>I start feeling incredibly lonely, so I just go hang out with my best male friend (A) and smoke some kush
>next day E says how paranoid she was that I was having a bad time and we exchanged a laugh when I said the same thing
>apparently doing college apps on shrooms in front of her parents sucked (no shit)
Ok sorry for rambling. Just fast forward some amount of time now I guess.
>one day we hung out in a park, sober, and talked for a few hours
>bunch of philosophy conversations
>we interact at an intellectual level that I have yet to experience with another human being
>she drives me home
>As we round the corner to my house, I say "I have to tell you something" really quiet
>"what?"
>"nothing"
>"no tell me"
>"I fucking love you"
>"I love you too, but..."
>"break up with your boyfriend"
>"...platonically"
>start crying as soon as I say that I love her
>She said that she used to have a crush on me but just assumed I wasn't interested
>"If only you had said this before I started dating (boyfriend)"
God damn it I fucking couldn't have because we didn't talk over summer. Why didn't we talk over summer? FUCK! I loved her this whole time, how come I couldn't see it sooner? FUCK! Fuck me for being blind, fuck her for not talking to me over summer, and fuck her for not fucking me.
Fuck me for not fucking her.
Oh, and while we're at it: FUCK YOU
Post single words not yet claimed by the robot
jargon
celebi
algebra
Stimulating the posterior fornix, the highly erogenous zone behind the cervix is the best way to get a woman to orgasm. The posterior fornix is an intense pleasure zone that can only be achieved by penetration from penises that are 8 inches or longer. It is so intense that women claim that it is more sensitive than the clitoris. It could very well be the highly debated location of the g-spot.
It is not only pleasurable to women, but highly pleasurable to men, the soft spongy, stretchy walls of the fornix stimulate the head of the penis as if it was being given oral stimulation.
Did you really spend time colouring in those penises to make them look black?
>>26691863
youre thinking way too into it
i am 7.5 inches and my girlfriend orgasms almost every time (i can tell because she creams) and always wants to have sex with me
male/female intimacy isnt a max/min scenario where you use diagrams to optimize the interaction
>>26691906
Do they look like the ideal penis up there?
>>26691894
It came that way.
LITTLE
Oh hi there wagecuck. I just finished playing an impromptu set down at the piano lounge, it was very well recieved by the regulars! What are you doing out so late on a work night? Oh, you're just getting off work? I thought you were paid salary and aren't compensated for overtime? Wow I can't believe that, who does Mr. Shekelstein think he is? Well at least he's letting you come in late tomorrow. Wait, he expects you to be back in the office at 8am sharp? How will you possibly get enough sleep? And to think it's only Monday, you still have four more days to go until you get a break! Well that really is unfortunate wagecuck, but hey I appreciate you sticking it out, without folks like you paying taxes, I wouldn't be able to live a life of financial independence and self fulfillment.
>>26690581
Wow was that you playing down at Bemelmans? You really killed it. I didn't know you were a fellow NEET. I suppose it makes sense though, no way you could get that good if you spent most of your time slaving away for Mr. Shekelstein.
>>26690581
Thisshows what the human soul is capable of if they are free from slavery and oppression, wagecucks don't understand.
>>26690765
Are you high every time you post these replies
Let's have one of these threads, share any good ones if you have em.
>>26688677
Have none but rollin anyway
>>26688677
Lily is best choice.
I'll dump a few more of em
>tfw no qt steam friend to play dota 2 with.;-;
why is everyone who wants steam friends always a FUCKING WEEABOO
I won't play dota 2 with you but I will pin you down and stuff you like a fucking turkey, you cute little fucktoy
>>26674848
Most of the people on here are weebs.
You just have to get over it, they're usually decent people.
There's only one robot I've found from here out of about 5 that has been a complete faggot, and it's not even because he's a weeb.Why does everyone on steam play DotA 2? I don't get it.
Click the link ONLY ONCE to get a random superpower.
Then explain what you would do with your new powers.
http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fpowerlisting.wikia.com%2Fwiki%2FSpecial%3ARandom&t=NTIwOWVmY2NmNmEwYTU5ODJmMjVkZWRmMTViMjFkMmFhNGM4NWIxNiw5RjBVdzNRWg%3D%3D
>>26685720
>Despair Manipulation
I'd use it to make the people here even worse than usual at the cost of me getting a cheap laugh. I'll become the villian of this place and you all will cut yourselves over this.
Morph into an angel I suppose
>>26685720
Why the fuck are you using us to pump your numbers faggot?
http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Special:Random
Use this one.
Can someone (preferably a normie) explain how one would go about making friends and establishing close relationships?
This is what I've tried:
>Identify potential new friend/girlfriend based on your own personal criteria (i.e. they aren't total cunts, they share the same interests as you, they are interesting or funny to be around, they're attractive etc.)
>Spend weeks/months observing them, learning their routines, their behaviors, what makes them laugh, what upsets them, what they dislike, what they HATE, what they LOVE, their favourite foods, drinks etc. etc.
>Spend further weeks/months making a big effort to appeal to them. Talk about things they like to talk about. Casually mention or suitbly imply that you like the same things they like
>Make an effort to make them laugh. Tell jokes specifically geared towards them, forward them funny things that are relevant to their specific life circumstances. Sit at home for hours thinking of funny things you could say in your next interaction with said person.
>Spend hours at home researching their interests so you can discuss them in more detail and with more background knowledge
>Make a special effort to go out of your way to help them. For example if they say their brother is applying for a job, say that you can send them your interview notes that got you your job. Or if they say they are having trouble moving stuff into their new apartment, say you can drive around and help by taking some things in your car. Or just little things like texting them to offer to get them something from the store on your way to work/class.
Really not sure what more I can do...
>>26687460
But the result is always the same
They never text me first
They never invite me to hang out with them
They require A LOT of pressurizing to do stuff with me or go to an event with me. Like I have to text them at the start of the week. Then again mid-week. Then again the night before. And basically I have to make them feel awkward as fuck about backing out of it before they finally cave in and come along with me to whatever it is.
It's always an uphill battle, it's always me doing all the work and putting in the effort. They NEVER text me first. It's always me that has to start conversations.
If I just give up (and I have already tried this) sit back and do nothing then I don't get ANYWHERE. At least if I follow the above procedure I get a little bit of social interaction and the illusion of having friends. But if I just stop caring then, I'm left totally alone.
So what the fuck do I do?
And this this thread sums up perfectly the point I'm trying to get across
>Spend time and effort creating a post, giving as much detail as possible
>Get absolutely nothing back in return
Maybe it's just human nature in general... Still doesn't explain how some get away with it and have rich and engaging social lives though.
Here is a protip that is applicable to most problems that people have, especially those who post on /adv/
THE ANSWER IS MUCH SIMPLER THEN YOU THINK. THE HARD PART IS HAVING THE COURAGE TO PERSIST.
For instance, perhaps join a sports club to find friends. Or if you don't like sports, go to local gigs (music) or look online for meetups for hobbies you're interested in. You aren't going to get any answers for something as complex and vague as getting close friends because there are too many variables and the human mind is far more random then any post could attempt to digest.
Goodluck OP.
ITT: We post our greatest wish, and the poster below us finds a loophole in it to ruin it.
I don't want to be depressed anymore.
>>26683810
You will forever be in a neutral mood. Nothing will ever make you feel anything but meh. Not even a night with the girl of your dreams will allow you feel even the slightest bit of happiness.
I want to own a bird sanctuary funded by the government.
>>26683935
>You will forever be in a neutral mood. Nothing will ever make you feel anything but meh. Not even a night with the girl of your dreams will allow you feel even the slightest bit of happiness.
So basically, he will be on anti-depressants.
>>26683935
The birds will get avian AIDS and escape, spreading mayhem and terror around the US. The virus will be traced back to you jizzing on the birds, you sick fuck.
I want to have the ability to rewind time and play it back again, with no penalties- save states for real life.
who /sissy/ here?
Me but only mentally
>>26679619
get out my board degenerate dipshit.
originell
r
i
g
i
n
e
l
L
>>26679619
so that's what they mean by driving stickshift
Describe your ideal gf.
any girl i'm physically attracted to that i can do fun stuff with and chill with on top of sex
so basically, a best friend who is a girl that i also enjoy sticking my penis in on occasion
>>26673408
>2d
>cute
>open minded
>introvert
>can cook
>prefers small dick
>loyal and submassive
>Thin
>Nice legs
>Nice ass
>White, Latina, Middle Eastern, pale Indian as long as they're middle class and not super into their culture
>Quiet and kind
>Not a huge pain in the ass to deal with
>Likes to cook and watch TV with me
>Capable of talking about stuff that matters (politics, global issues etc)
Post where you sleep /r9k/.
>>26677835
I sleep on top of a pile of money, with many beautiful ladies
>>26677980
>I sleep on a few nickles with my waifu
Looks very comfy, op
