Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 2217. page
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ITT post a story proving you aren't a virgin, or a story pretending you're not a virgin, and we'll try to guess if you really are. (don't post a story pretending to be a virgin when you're not)
>go to rave
>hook up with random Asian chick
>she agrees to come home with me and ditch her friends
>fuck with the lights off for an hour
>after finishing, head to bathroom to take piss
>turn on lights
>my dick is completely covered in glitter!
>mfw
>forget to take pic cause tired
>>28960918
this thread is retarded
og
>>28960938
You're most likely Virgin
i paid a Brazilian masseuse to take my v-card.
>be me
>be on bp, find masseuse lady
>arrive at her apartment, she has a setup in one of the rooms
>undress and get ready
>tell her im a virgin and ask her if she can take my v-card for extra
>she tells me she doesn't do this but since im a virgin she'll make an exception
>tell her she can do anything she wants to me
>she goes "anything?"
>i say yes, anything
>she comes back with a huge black strap on and gently fucks my ass
>i manage to take it all the way, it was like 10 inches or something
>i groan slightly and she pulls out, her pussy is soaking wet.
>she sucks me with a condom and i fuck her, cum in like 20 seconds.
when i got back to my car, i thought to myself "is this it? that's sex? at least i can say i got laid but really what the fuck."
Would anyone here be desperate enough for a gf to accept a wheelchair-bound girl as gf?
>>28960913
She looks really qt desu.
>desperate enough to accept a wheelchair bound gf
It's probably more like the other way around.
I don't have any objections to the idea of having a wheels gf, but she probably would have objections to going out with me.
>>28960943
Thanks!
>>28960947
You can't be that bad looking, can you?
>Why I Had to Give Up Dating English Femme Men Boyz
>My bad dating experience life story telling you why I don't have an English boyfriend but have a Turkish boyfriend instead.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MKPtFv15lWE
>>28960865
How come some turks look white and the others look straight up sandnigger.
>>28960865
some dude would have gladly taken her. that said, she is hardly the spring chicken.
>>28960865
>EXTRA NOTE: this video is about my personal experience. I am not saying here that 'all English men are bad' and 'all Muslims are good'. What I am saying is that based on all my dating experiences, I met only one man who was an expression of the values that I was looking for. This man happened to be Turkish.
>I also want to add here (harsh truth) that you get what you deserve in terms of dating. Perhaps when I was still living in England I was not ready to meet a decent guy because I was still full of shit.
>And finally, whereas of course I do talk in generalisations in all my videos, there are always exceptions. This is why when I meet people I am aware of these generalisations, but I look deeper into the person to know if I have any kind of connection with them. This connection will always be based on the existence of truth between us. If there is no truth, then for me there is no connection.
seems fair honestly
>tfw no small dick bf to humiliate
>tfw never measure my dick but thought it looked small
>was all ready to fap to sph
>measure it
>average
tbf if it was small i probably would've felt really bad about it whenever i wasn't horny
>>28961703
cute story :3
>tfw average dick
>tfw can't be humiliated or humiliate others
Be honest, /r9k/. Has this happened to you?
http://i.4cdn.org/gif/1464734217985.webm
>>28960822
yes. this is why i stay on 4chan and never ever bring up my race unless pertinent.
here, nobody knows you are Pakistani Denzel.
Kek, I felt for Dinesh on that scene, life's shit for a shitskin
No, because I know it would happen, so I try my best to never appear on screen or even in pictures.
Good night anon, I hope you had a great day. If not there's always tomorrow! Cheer up and enjoy your life.
Go die, no one wants your shit here
>>28961028
This is a no bully thread. I hope you have a wonderful day
why do you post these?
What's the most autistic haircut I could get?
Something that says:
>this guy doesn't need to feel anymore
Get the Storm Roof
>>28960847
thanks, but I'm not white trash
Could go for the classic bowl cut, my man.
ITS HABBENING.
We no longer need women.
Whatever sperg.
>>28960821
what ever you say sperg
>>28960789
NOT TODAY, SPERG.
>be me
>listening to a podcast on farming in history
>be in a uni class
>this qt asks me what am I listening to
>I said techno
>but you look so serious
>I'm waiting for the next song to come up
>she turns back twords her desk
>a few minutes she turns around and I start spazing my head up and down like a madman
>she probably thought that it was a good song but in reality I bobbed my head to the sound of silence
After the class was over she asked me if I was ok. I guess she doesn't like techno music.
What should I have answerd her?
>>28960787
fool shoulda been honest, tf would the truth even be a bad thing for
>>28960819
yes cus farming sounds sexy as fuck right?
>>28960839
might've been interesting or sparked a convo with the fact that you find it interesting. I would've said it, i dont think it's anything embarrassing. If you tryna be sexy techno wasn't a good answer either.
So, the previous thread was archived.
Post for like art made or if you are updating your character or have an addition.
We should totally make a comic off of some of these guys. What ones do you think would qualify?
(also we should probably set up like a google doc or something, guys. Or have some other place to collaborate if you actually want to do stories)
>am fag who did this art
>oh yeah also I am super happy that thread has not gone because it was worth posting all yesterday to keep it alive
>>28960758
bump for OCalso proud that my creation is a SS levet threath
Ccan i be dio
i bailed on a night out and got this long ass text
what do you think /r9k/ is he right?
>>28960669
Dude, pull your life together. Don't spend so much time just wasting away doing nothing in your room all by your self. You obliviously have friends who want to spend time with you but if you just sit around doing nothing or waste your time on 4chan, your going to lose your friends.
Sounds like you have a friend who want's to help you out of your "rut"
Wish I had a buddy who I could see the world with.
Why did you bail?
>>28960669
OP fucking listen to him and go out more for fuck sake
Or you'll SERIOUSLY regret it.
Help me robots
I have a fetish for being stabbed/tortured etc by cute girls but don't know the term for it
Anyone know?
Bump ;_;
Origato
>>28960648
why does it need a name?
Bump, please help this lovely robot
>tfw turn 35 next month
>tfw 4ever alone virgin
>tfw too old to get anything but fugly single moms
>tfw suicide is the only way out
What's the quickest, most painless way of ending it all, robots? Painkiller OD? Piping car exhaust into a closed garage? Hanging?
fill up a bathtub with cold water and get in it. Proceed to drink a bottle of alcohol (your choice) i prefer vodka, then slit your wrist vertically and just sit there in the tub and drink. In 20 minutes, your body will be cold enough and the alcohol will thin your blood, causing you to die. It's a very peaceful way to go, especially if you want some time to reflect on your life
>>28960608
Hanging is probably the most secure way, and one of the easiest as well.
Using the half your age plus 7 rule though, you could date down to 24 (?)
>ITT: You died and are a ghost who can only communicate with the living through r9k posts
Kill yourself it's pretty neat up here
There's no difference.
I might as well not be alive anyway.
>>28960621
nuh uh, really?
> after 12. June first at my time.
> still high on Nbome but...
> officially my birthday !!!
> Opens whatsapp/chat apps
> No message
> staying optimistic & opens Steam
> no message.
> Waiting for the sadness to kick in
> Sadness kicked in
Can anyone here wish me a happy birthday?
I just turned 20.
Love anime, programming & Linux servers.
Happy 20th birthday anon, get some friends
>>28961000
Thanks !
I almost thought that even on r9k nobody will wish me a happy birthday
Happy birthday, anon.
Please, stop using outdatet memes.xD
