Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 6095. page
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Who /smalldick/ here? Does jelqing work?
>>25711059
I'm pretty sure it only effects the size your fuck while it's soft
>>25711059
dat wiggle.
sawce?
>>25711059
source mate
>tfw you fell for the "it's just calories in vs calories out" meme
>tfw you weren't lucky enough to be born with chad genetics and chad metabolism
time to end it, I guess
literally how could you stay fat if you just ate vegetables in 3 meals
>>25711046
You have chad genetics though. Being able to gain weight quickly is a chad trait the only difference is he builds muscle while you build fat. true beta genetics are skellys like me that literally cant gain any weight or muscle
it sucks that you dont have a naturally fast metabolism but as a manlet i cant feel to sorry for you because im short and literally cant not do shit to alter. at least if i was tall and fat i could work hard and get skinny and the worst result would be needing surgery to get rid of excess skin
post music
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rx4fVMZbDcc
and a pic with it
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6yehGuwlhA4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MyeIoQxSy48
who /Nujabes/ here?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g9hwjQBQFIo
>wrote a short story for a fiction workshop last year
>the story drew directly from my own problems with social anxiety, loneliness, isolation, depression, and being a worthless retard
>for the whole workshop I had to listen to the dumbfuck Chads and whore Stacies in my class talk about how the protagonist was "exactly the type of freak who would shoot up a school"
I don't want to live this life anymore.
>>25710893
You know they're dumbfucks, why does their opinion matter to you?
Post story pls
You should have then and there smiled gently at them and told them what you just told us.
What's your new years resolution, robots?
For me it's getting at least 2 new girlfriends. I've been in a long term monogamous relationship for almost two years now, and after behaving properly for the last 8 months I'm just dying to get a taste of what else is out there.
I have girlfriend Z
Currently working on girl 1 and 2, both coworkers.
Please assist robots. Also cheating general.
my new years resolution is drink at least 2 glasses of water a day!
im cheating on my girlfriend from a girl from my job, last friday we rented a room and fucked all night, didnt come home, told my gf i was with my friend... sheeeit.. i came inside that other chick too, now im worrying, i hope she doesnt bust some shit that she is pregnant, anyway she is pretty sexy so if i have to leave my gf i guess ..ill.. have.. to, i dont know :\
>>25710858
>>25711083
you're not robots
mcfucking kill yourselves
What are the signs of a beta orbiter and how do I stop being one once I realize it?
>What are the signs of a beta orbiter
Having a female friend and not being in a relationship with her
dont talk to girls ever
>>25710860
>>25710861
/thread asddfg
My standards are ridiculously high.
I honestly fucking hate this, I know you can change your tastes but god damn there must be away.
The 1% chance of gf is 0% due to my standards.
How do I stop being a proxy chad
stop watching porn
(surprised thats not an original comment)
>>25710741
Throw acid on your face that way you will have to lower your standards.
>>25710765
I've heard that helps.
I'll have to make my life better though.
Masturbation is one of the only things keeping me alive kek
>mom is in the next room raping my little brother
>walls are so thin I can hear him whispering for her to stop and sobbing
>tfw too acoustic to help him out and send my Bitch mom to jail
>>25710666
Hot tbqh, can you sneak us a pic?
>>25710666
Hey there ^_^ I'm new here and I really enjoy your funny sad gecko picture! Your hilarmianous! Mind if I save it for future use? Perhaps I'll share it with the fellas and gals at Reddit or 9gag! Hahahhaha
>>25710666
>>25710666
don't stop i'm so close
Hey robots the steriotype of canadians have bigs dicks is just a meme r-right?
I'm an American with an average dick and my crush started dating a canadian dude, so the big cock steriotype is not true right?
Please tell me it's just a joke.
She doesn't care abut dick size. You do.
Canadian here. This is the first time i have heard of this stereotype, in fact i doubt its actually a thing.
We're literally the exact same as you guys just sometimes more polite. I think Canadians are more likely to be uncut though.
>>25710611
The fuck do you care? She wouldn't have really loved you anyway.
I'm going college next semester and my planned roomate turned into a cunt and bailed on me.
I'm going to be 20 and have multiple college hours already.
I went to one of those roomate search sites but they're literally all girls. I wouldn't mind living with a girl, I have plenty of self control, can be tidy, and have an older sister. My only concern is would they be okay with me?
Femanons preferred, does it seem possible that a girl would be okay with a random dudemate?
>>25710597
just go for the dude
>>25710651
There isn't a male option right now.
Exactly mirrors my situation. I was very choosey, not wanting to live with degenerate friends. I pick one I'm okay with, and then they fail out. End up living with a girl I never knew before. It is fine so far. Good even. Just make a perfect first impression.
>The bigger they are the harder they fall, what they may make up for in muscle they lack in speed, you may have muscles but that won't help you when I run circles around you and you cannot even lay a hit.
>mfw I used to believe this unironically
Now I literally get sad instead of scared or angry when people threaten me, reminds me of how much of a lil manlet I am
>>25710511
>>25710570
>implying you'll catch me when i start running at full sonic speed with my arms behind me
>people like this think the point of lifting is to fight better
lifting will improve a huge number of aspects of your life and these guys are missing out on these benefits by convincing themselves that the only reason to lift is to fight or be intimidating
Look at all you "non-virgins" who think you are superior to me, but guess what? You're not. You might have a better sex life but I hold more cards.
I'm philosophical, mature, patient, intelligent and possess resourceful skills and knowledge of the world. You might be more superior than me from an evolutionary perspective but not from a life perspective, someone who managed to fulfill their role of prolonging the human race is not superior to one who is aiming to become a master.
I plan to travel and see what the world, I'm a lifelong student, I'll explore the secrets of the world while expanding and growing my knowledge and skills. You non-virgins are superior at prolonging the human race but that's all you'll ever be, I don't care about things such as prolonging the human race. I only have one life and I know I won't live forever so I'm going to make the most out of it, all the world is a stage and we are it's actors.
I am going to become a master.
I smoke memes
>>25710493
who are you trying to convince? yourself? if so you already failed
>>25710557
Says you, also convincing normie faggots though I know they won't care.
For those of you who didn't get to catch it last time,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rt2dcyXsegY
That was disturbing.
>>25710439
That was actually really well done. Thanks OP.
>>25710537
Someone should shop Elliot to that poster
>he watches anime with any regularity
>same goes for reading manga
>no sense of hard work
>doesn't maintain his physical health
>only dates asian girls (this is fucking creepy)
>has no hobbies other than vidya
>only does something if he thinks it will get him girls (no innate desire for self-improvement)
>too romantic/clingy
>doesn't read any nonfiction
>browses 4chan
>she posts on 4chan
>>25710414
adding more
>has ever used tinder unironically
>has a reddit account
>doesn't read the news/has no knowledge of current events
>insecure about intelligence
>>25710495
>lacks reading comprehension
Itt: Post all the negative things you think about yourself and see if we can resolve then
> 5'11 190 pounds man tits
> Social Anxiety around girls makes it hard to communicate
>gynecomastia can't get rid of man tits without surgery that costs about $6000
> 6 inch pencil dick
> Paranoid about everything
> Can't drive a car after multiple failed tests
> Shit at math and physics so most likely going into trades school.
>ugly
>Conscious about all the negative things about me all the time.
What's wrong with you /r9k/?
>mild scoliosis
>NEET
>highschool dropout
>5'6
>protruding belly
>shit blood
>haven't taken a shit in weeks
>hairy
>thinning hair
>can't grow beard
>haven't left house in 4 years
>schizophrenia
>slow
>Fat
>Bad breath
>Small dick
>Phimosis
>Poor
>Introvert
>Misanthropic
>Boring
>Dumb
>Lazy
Magnificent robot.
>>25710464
You have it bad man. what do you plan on doing with your life?
