Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 4735. page
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women know if you had sex recently. from your smell or body language or combination thereof.
WHAT ARE YOU BASING THIS ON. DESU
>>27364415
desu ka ne
not true, move along every body
Dear C,
You fags never called me. Now what am I supposed to do?
J
>>27363509
C,
I lied so you wouldn't call the police. I'm not as horrible as I made myself to be.
A
I don't like all these bad vibes. Things were going great. I want them to go back to being great. I just wanted one nice thing in my life and now it's gone.
Dear world,
I'm so undeniably confused
Maybe you told me too much all at once
Maybe it's my fault for forgetting or repressing
I feel like every step I could take would be the wrong one
Halp. But pls don't halp because I don't think I can trust your help.
Who cares anyway? Why would someone like me be helped? You have already done so much for me. I am sorry for being so ungrateful, so desperate. I'll find a way. I know it.
Love,
Me
Don't mind the carrot
>>27363371
Show dick. No balls please
>>27363371
You are literally basking in your own filth. Fucking savages, stand up and take a shower.
>>27363371
>not a bubble bath
> Haven't had a decent game in a long time
> My most recent game was only on a Nintendo console. Oh irony. How you mock me.
> My girlfriend Amy broke up with me a month ago. My heart is shattered.
> 4hcan has been overrun with normalfags
> My dad walked out on me when I was 7. Fucking deadbeat piece of shit.
> I have an Encyclopedia Dramatica article.
> I have been to rehab twice.
> I O.D.d once.
> My Nirvana CD is skipping.
> My Sega CD is broken.
> Used to have a nice house. Now I live in a shitty apartment.
> I fucking hate my job.
> I cry myself to sleep every goddamn night.
Fuck my life.
>I have an Encyclopedia Dramatica article
Do you feel at least a little proud?
>>27363041
Pride? I guess I felt that at one point in my life.
I even thought I was better than Mario. Who the fuck was I kidding. I ain't jack shit. I don't kid myself anymore.
I used to be so big and strong.
I used to know my right from wrong.
I used to never be afraid.
I used to be somebody.
I used to have something inside.
Now just this hole it's open wide.
I used to want it all.
I used to be somebody.
I was up above it. Now I'm down in it.
Welcome to the next fucking level.
>having an ED article about you
this is the time you contemplate suicide.
How many mcdonalds bags are in your room right now?
I just made 10
my diet consisting almost entirely of peanut butter, milk, and protein powder. being a poor university student isnt fun
>>27362964
None.
There's over 40 coca-cola bottles though
>>27362964
None. Right now I've got a glass of ice water and a bowl of pineapple slices (fresh, mind you) and blackberries.
who /healthysnacksinsteadofmeals/ here?
Fire up your Chad Tinder accounts! We're sending roasties and cucks to stand in front of the webcam in times square.
>>27362879
Have you guys done this before?
>>27363167
Not that I know of. I see tons of the same old fake tinder threads so I thought why not kick it up a notch?
>>27362879
I'm pretty sure you can only set your location if you pay for tinder
Which is the ultimate cuck, paying to not get laid
Any of you guys that have a pocket pussy have any recommendations on the best one?
Serious question, as a KV. Could these things be used as a training tool?
I have two, I haven't used either in about 3 or 4 years.
They feel better than your hand, especially if you wedge it between your mattresses or someplace to hold it where you can thrust hands free. The problem is that the prep and cleanup is a fucking bitch to deal with.
I have a tenga egg. Don't use lube since I am not americut. Can cum 3 times a day and it feels 50x better than just a hand. I had a flashlight but that shit requires so much washing it's not worth it. Maybe if you cum once a week.
>start lifting because 4chan says it will help me
>get callus all of my hands
>fap and literally damage my dick with the callus's on my hands from the lifting
It's not an STD god dammit, im a fucking KV.
>get HSV on your hands from touching filthy gym equipment
>fap
congrats you have herpes now
>>27362513
this,
id get that checked to be safe op
>>27362417
Wear gloves you tard.
Why is 4chan full of losers?
I'm not even a normie but jesus christ you guys are really insufferable
What is a loser to you?
well think about it like this, where else can the people here go to discuss the subjects that they'd like to do so without facing moderation or outright bans for having an unpopular opinion?
Most forums have a karma system resulting in ostracized posters getting the boot, social media has become a platform social justice where robotic or /pol/ views aren't allowed, and anonymous apps like yik yak delete unpopular post from users
Within my knowledge this is truly the only place to discuss such things
>>27362372
Someone who asserts that casual sex is 'le degenerate maymay' instead of just accepting that fact that other people get laid makes him insecure
Made this thread yesterday, people seemed to like it so here I am.
ITT: Random facts about yourself
Mine first
>My favorite soda is locally made in a factory 2hrs away, every weekend/end of the month i drive there sunday morning and buy a case or two
>Brush my teeth religiously, once had a pretty nasty cavity kept unattended, traumatized since then
>Give stoner friends shit for being stoners, but I can't go through my day without a cigarette/cup of coffee
>>27362291
>Desperately lonely.
>losing grip on reality
>>27362354
That doesn't sound good.
You wanna talk about it anon?
>>27362291
>I overthink things to the point where I drive myself crazy
>If I didn't have friends and family that I can emphasize with and talk to when I feel nervous then I probably would've gone insane a long time ago. My social skills are superficial but it allows me to find out who I want to talk to
>My feelings are entirely based on logic
>I am an extrovert that spends a lot of time living inside of his own head
>I know for a fact that I am more intelligent than most people and have the capacity to succeed in many different fields, but it seems like none have really interested me
>I scare people
>I get bored of things and people very easily and I hate people who try to control me
>People think of me as egotistical, but really I just don't experience emotions the same way as other people and feel as if I am misunderstood. People try to tell me who I am and what it is that I should do and they are completely wrong most of the time, because their outlook is based on their own views. However, hearing their perspective comforts me in its own way because I love hearing it.
>I enjoy it when people challenge me and argue with me, but I feel as if most people are intimidated by this and it bores me. I want someone that can challenge all and compete with me without feeling inferior and making me feel inferior.
Why are agnostics usually even more smug than christfags?
Pseudo-intellectualism?
I bring this post about atheism back to the first page
I'm agnostic and I'm not smug at all.
Whether or not you think it's bullshit, it could be fun. I've practiced with the 12 Houses spread for years and I could help you out. First come, first served. I will need an age, gender (but who am I kidding you're all guys) and a paragraph or so biography.
18, male, Virgo.
Im a failed normie in Uni. plz halp senpai
>>27362289
Working on it! This is also an incredibly original comment.
Lots of psychics on /r9k/ today.
18, Male, Pisces.
Loner in Uni. Father died when I was younger making me opt out of regular society.
I like it more this way.
Someone told me my tarot sign was hanged man once.
If a cute witch suddenly appeared in your room and offered you immortality (Unable to even suicide) and eternal youth (You're stuck at the age you currently are forever), would you take it?
Sure.
I would just dedicate myself to learning all knowledge on earth.
>>27362196
>becoming a wagecuck for the rest of your life
>cops tracking you down and experimenting on your immortal body
>be in pain forever since they would want to experiment everything on you
>not wanting sweet release of death
Fuck no
>>27362196
Hell yeah! Being 22 forever... Seeing my family and friends die? Nvm dude I'm ok. I just Wew nvm.
While I am not entitled to a girlfriend, as a human being my existence necessitates the comforts of a romantic companion and the healthy release of sexual tensions, and as such, everyday that women of this world deny me, deny being my gjrlfriend, I am brought closer to death.
The above is said of all men.
Within the coming decades, I anticipate that females will become the most notorious serial killers this world has ever seen, yet none will be held accountable for the blood spilled, the bodies buried.
Our cold, curdled blood, and our bodies in the ground will all be on their hands, the hands with which they take turns stroking the penis of Chad McThunder-Cock.
All whose content idleness persists are in essence choosing this future for themselves.
The uprising needs to happen, and it needs to happen now.
It's because the universe is telling you to let go
Times are changing
Not just here, but cosmicallyBreak out now.
>>27361983
Not everyone can break out. Someone needs to stay behind and punish the normies.
Someone will have to stay in the wreckage and start the fire.
>I anticipate that females will become the most notorious serial killers this world has ever seen, yet none will be held accountable for the blood spilled, the bodies buried.
This already happened in WW1 and 2. Males were emotionally and physically bullied into killing one another en masse to keep women at home happy and safe.
I'm sick of it. I turned 25 the other day. I've lived more than a quarter of my life already as a failure. Enough is enough.
I went through so much bullshit these past few years. Gaming addictions. Shuffling through career choices like crazy. Burning bridges. Giving in to stupid narcissism like wanting fame or fortune, or both. Planning unrealistic goals. Never getting anywhere.
Today, I was watching some Magic player and scrolled down and visited his website. He's uglier than I am, but same age. He's a leader some programming gig and a part-time Math instructor at a College. He has a wife and 2 sons.
I just snapped at that point. I want a family. I want to raise a son. I want a wife to love and embrace. I want a career. I want a home.
I need it.
I want, I want, I want.
Me, me, me.
Mine, mine, mine.
Now, now, now!
>>27361930
obviously, no decent person ever thinks about what they want! if youre not a narcisistic, self centered douche, you will literally do slave work for the bum that lives in the park, op.
stop thinking about what you want, start living for others!
>>27361895
He might be uglier than you but he knows what it takes too be a real man. Beta fuccboi.
