Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 2843. page
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You are naked in your room, when suddenly Trigglypuff appears and savagely kicks you in the nuts. She is also naked, besides an 11 inch purple strap on. Trigglypuff is on a mission to topple the patriarchy, by penetrating your butthole. Trigglypuff must catch her breath after kicking your balls, so you have a 1 minute window before she pegs you. What does /r9k/ do to protect their anuses?
I would push my thumbs into her eye sockets with all my strength
>>28630580
Right as you're about to make contact, she grabs your arm and shoves it in her mouth. She begins to swallow. What do you do?
It's ironic that making fun of her just reforms her belief.
>tfw no qt spring/summer time pixie cut gf who wears cute dresses and hats
Why even live?
>>28630522
Are you sure that's a girl?
>>28630522
>tfw no manic pixie dream girl to kick out rapefugees with
>>28630522
>Wanting a hipster """"not like other girls""""" normie that's probably a tumblr femnazi as well
apparently racist to be proud of your race and want to keep it from racemixing out.
>be black
>talking to white people in class
>ask me if i would marry X
>tell them no because she's white
>they call me racist
>tell them I want Africa for Africans and Europe for Europeans
>everyone is shocked and calls me a racist
>X has the audacity to argue south Africans who are white, are africans.
Motherfucking exploded right there. Refrained from refuting her pathetic argument with colonialism because I was had the feeling of being in deep water in there.
Today I learned that an educated black man threatens white superiority.
I'm a Halfrican. Why do you think animals can't be allowed to go and do whatever they please within the law of the land?
White people get offended when you don't want to race mix with them. They get very mad at black people for this, despite them claiming they find us unattractive.
>>28630483
I don't get mad
Why is the reality of life so unfair at an intrinsic level?
We are born without consent, and once our abysmally short lives are over, we have to die and be content with rotting forever in a box.
Does this seem like too much of a burden to anyone else? Why do I have to end my time in this universe dead?
Why is it so unfair, man?
>Babby's first realization that cosmic absurdity is the only truth.
25% original commento
life doesn't give a shit about people, just think about all the children who get cancer and die before they're like 8 years old
that's what life is
Maybe you don't
Maybe there's some big secret that's kept hidden from us
At least I hope there is
Life is only too long when it's too short
You walk into your kitchen to get a drink of water and she is just there.No explanation,you where in the other room and know she didn't break in or use the door, she effectively appeared out of thin air in your kitchen, what do you do?
>>28630299
Call Ghostbusters I guess
Send that bitch to the fuckin Shadow Realm,my nigga.
ask her for a slide rule
Yesterday in work I saw a cuck thread with robots posting stories of being cucked, but I didn't have the time so I'm posting now because I need to vent. Post your stories. Here's my long ass, boring story.
How we met
>be a handholdless, kissless virgin
>be pretty average in looks, probably 6/10, slim build
>insecure as fuck, socially retarded
>every day, just going through the motions
>gave up all hope of getting a gf in this life
>one day decide to head to the bookstore to get some new reading material
>browsing the store, I pick up a few books then walk over to the comic book rack
>see a girl flipping through star wars comics
>she's chubby, a bit on the fat side, maybe a 5, 6/10, but with a pretty face
>I make some comment about han solo, can't remember what it was
>she starts to laugh
>we talk comics for a few minutes and hit it off
>she's pretty cool, I tell myself
>we go get something to eat and continue our chat
1/7
>>28630276
>1/7
Fuck that, skip to the interesting part where you fuck her mom
>We were made for each other
>We both liked comics, vidya, anime, etc. Best part was she hated chads and stacies
>We started dating and of course I didn't know what the hell I was doing but I'll save you from all the cringey awkward moments
>The sex was great; we both took each others virginities
>After 2 years I decided I was going to marry this woman. She said yes and I couldn't be happier so we got engaged
>some time after that she got health conscious, insecure about her weight
>kept saying how she wouldn't fit into her wedding dress
>said she wanted to start going to the gym to lose weight and she wanted me to come with her
>I was all for it so we went
>I start lifting, she starts cardio, jogging, yoga like a maniac, anything to lose weight
>a couple months in I put on some muscle mass, looking not too shabby
>she. gets. fucking. hot.
>slim, firm, tight body
>lost a shitton of weight but somehow managed to keep her big boobs
>I might have gone from a 6/10 to 6.5/10 while she skyrocketed to 8 or 9
>I thought I was the happiest man alive but this is where things started to go downhill fast
2,3/7
>her personality started slowly changing
>now she wanted to go clubbing, partying, meet people
>suddenly as if overnight, she had this huge crowd of friends
>starts to spend more time with her friends than me
>she becomes more irritable and bitchy when around me
>swaps her love of comics for alcohol and weed
>she has literally become one of the stacies she claimed to hate so much
>it all came to a head one evening when I found some condoms in her purse
>I called her out on it and asked if she was cheating
>she got super defensive but then broke down crying and told me she would never do something like that
>I believed her. Fuck me, right?
4,5/7
>go get haircut
>qt hairdresser asks me what kind of cut I want
>I tell her one across my wrists will be fine and laugh
>she starts crying and runs to the back of the shop
why don't normies have any sense of humor?
Don't worry famalam, I'd have laughed at your joke.
>>28630210
That's actually hilarious. I found it funny, at least
At least you stole something while she wasnt there,right?
Is Bodyguard a good career for robots?
>Stern demeanor
>Don't have to talk to normies very often
>Ocasionally get to blast them if they are trying to hurt your friends
As long as you are not wimpy
You have to look intimidating tho
So 180cm+
Fit body
Strong Jawline
Know how to take people down
High strength
Robots don't posses that
>>28630190
awkward beta shutins do not make for intimidating people
>he uses the word "normie" unironically
>he spends most his time on his computer
>lists """""""""""""""""""""reading""""""""""""""""""""" as a hobby
>likes anime
>self projects
>is condescending
kill me
>>28630107
>plays vidya and likes anime
>can barely do a push-up or run
>has divorced parents or drug addict family members
>hates all animals
>has a mustache
>highest level of education is high school
>is anti-America and anti-"the system"
>listening to podcasts is his hobby
>>28630107
>>lists """""""""""""""""""""reading""""""""""""""""""""" as a hobby
how much should i read to consider it a hobby?
>>28630107
translates to:
- " I'll only date normies "
- " I only prefer the medieval-styled luddite ones "
- " I only date ignorant medieval normies "
- " but I can't accept normies who do something mainstream like liking anime "
- " neither I'll accept normies with creativity "
TL;DR:
- " give me some uncondescending luddite ignorant anti-mainstream non-creative normie, and I'll date him ".
Would you date a trans?
Yeah, wouldn't even think twice.
>>28629873
I think I would, though 'dating' is the wrong term.
More importantly:
I wonder what these people are doing right now.
>>28629873
These people are sick, and like real women, only live through the importance placed on them by others. Your literally feeding their mental illness with your own greed.
Why did moot betray us?
He hated what we became. Perhaps he realized it was his fault in the first place.
>moot
am i supposed to know who that is?
>>28629820
Feminists.They corrupted him with promises of pussy.
So why do you guys fall for the virginity meme. Is it really that worse being a virgin than losing it to your gf of a few months then breaking up with her because of your crippling depression and never being able to talk to her again. Whereas a virgin still has the slight chance of finding a special someone. Plus sex is overrated
Yeah i forgot non virgins can never find a "special someone" and you only get one try. You retards really try your hardest to make yourselves believe that you chose to be alone, NEET, and virgins and that somehow this "choice" is better than a normal life
>>28629690
it really is true for women, statistically, and really just logically. doesn't seem to matter for men, though.
guy that only dates virgins btw, on my second one, hopefully i don't get too old for them anytime soon
>>28629710
>on my second one
opinion discarded
Non-virgin sex-havers, what is life like for you? Do you feel like you belong in the world?
Sex is overrated man
why would slipping my dick into some random hole influence my feelings towards my outlook on life
>>28629628
This. Its good but it did not solve any problem of mine besides being a virgin.
What is it about NEET men that makes them so attractive to us Femanons?
Im a career oriented woman, come from a well off family, went to college, and have a job in finance, yet I just cannot get over this fantasy of being gangbanged by three or even perhaps four NEETS. Logically I know that NEETS produce nothing for society, yet every time I imagine having a NEET dick in my mouth, while simultaneously another is stretching my clit wide open, I become more aroused and wet than anything else!
I dont understand at all, prehaps it is some sort of primal desire we women have instilled in us genetically?
Any other fembots want to throw out some ideas?
I don't know, something about a man living wild and free must awaken something deep in us. I guess it sort of is kind of like a biological thing?
>>28629596
This bait just feels really awkward. Work on your writing skills, anon.
>>28629596
What a lame bait thread. Go die.
What were your reactions like in the past when talking to a girl you liked and she told you she had a boyfriend out of nowhere
jasbhsdb
>>28629594
They never said that
I was almost always wanted but too beta to commit
Now im alone and still a virgin
Something to this degree.
Tsgjgdsdchjmygcsedvhy
