Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 2836. page
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Thanks for buying me lunch a-anon
>>28635104
Y-yes, Trump-sama.
>>28635104
It's our pleasure Donald. Now let's get down to business.
We at Goldman detailed laid our our plans in this folder, I trust that you look forward to our joint success.
>>28635104
I'm glad you like it, can we get back to the discussion of your daughter.
I'd like to take her as my bride within the fortnight
>walking to the local yu gi oh tournament
>donning my gentleman's attire
>carrying my trusty katana for safety
>minding my own business and thinking of arguments to use on /r/atheism
>suddenly chad, tyrone and their cronies appear
>they surround me
>they start taunting me
>warn them that this is their last chance to back off
>tyrone pushes me
>heh, he didn't know what he was getting himself into
>look down, smirk and push up my glasses
>"so be it"
>pull out 10 dark magician cards
>a card between each finger
>in less than a second, a card or two is lodged into each of their jugulars
>they're all on the ground
>writhing in pain
>blood everywhere
>"psssh, nothing personnel"
>they all draw their dying breaths
>teleport to kfc and enjoy a bargain bucket
Why would you ever need 10 dark magicians?
>>28635063
senpai literally only degenerate niggers play yugioh
t. Tyrone
>didn't hide the bodies
how do i get a girls number
You ask for it
>>28635092
NOT OP
What do I do if I have a girl's number and havn't talked to her for half a year, what do I text her RIGHT NOW?
>>28635156
Exactly this: "Hey I was thinking about you, would you like to get dinner sometime?" Doubt you'll do it tho
I want to die please help R9K.
You wont kill yourself. Hang in there, bro. If I was you I'd start smoking and drinking regularly. Hopefully it'll cut some years off your life.
>>Father left when I was young.
>>Mother has cancer and had one tumor in her head removed while the other was treated with chemo.
>>Girlfriend ignores me all day except when she wants sex or to go shopping.
>>Besides my girlfriend and my mother I know no one else.
>>Girl abuses the fact that I am lonely.
>>Have not felt happy in years and nothing helps. I can't taste food, sex gives less and less pleasure, my one favourite game became boring.
>>28635101
Thanks. I have just not been able to stop crying and feeling sad. I am planning on suicide after my mother goes. My work takes away my time. I don't have time to make friends so I have not been able to talk to anyone.
Were you physically or emotionally bullied? Or both?
As for me, I was more so emotionally bullied, but I've had my fair share of fist fights too.
I am constantly bullied by the fact that i am surrounded by idiots that wouldn't be alive in a medieval society.
>>28635024
Hello Hikki, what are you doing on r9k?
>>28635024
I was never bullied. If anything I was the one who bullied because it was so easy targeting weak people with a poor frame of mind.
I have been posting recently about a girl who I met as an escort two Saturdays ago and who I have since then taken on two "dates". I posted then about what happened when she visited me this Friday and Saturday.
I feel like the purpose of my original posting has finished but if anyone is interested to know what took place since this weekend I'll post here.
Again I do not know if it's worth me continuing to tell about Marina and I. I respect /r9k/ and have visited here for a long time. If people feel I am "bragging" or that I no longer should post here (for obvious reasons) I will not do so.
>be me
>on Sunday I tell Marina that I am going to bed
>she messages me good night
>I post my thread here which takes longer than I thought it would
>Monday (yesterday) I have to work a half day (I volunteered to do so some weeks ago)
>I wake up early and strangely I don't feel tired
>I shower and use the towel Marina used (maybe strange, but it still smelled so amazing)
>in the bathroom I see the mirror and begin to smile
>as though the person in the reflection is a more confident version of me who said "I said so!"
>I move the breakfast table (small wooden table with wooden flaps underneath to extend it) to the balcony doors
>cut up two bananas (that were spotted black on the outside but I didn't mind), two apples, the blueberries of my flatmate / landlord and soya milk
>never do I usually eat breakfast
>it's a warm day, which I don't really care for, but I feel ok
>travel to work feeling so nice
>it's early so I think not to text her
>in work the office has maybe 5 people in total (one leaves soon after arriving but obviously won't return)
>I sit with nobody around me listening to music with headphones
>when I was very young and my parents were together my father would buy my mother LPs
>I would sometimes sit on one of the two red leather sofas and they would sometimes dance in front of me
>the music station was in the corner of the room with an Afriqan woman shaped lamp lighting the room but only dimly
>one of the LPs my parents had was by the music group "Bread"
>in my teen years, after the age of maybe 13, I had very few friends
>eventually I had nobody I could call a friend
>every weekend I would close my bedroom door and listen to old music (doo wop, motown etc)
Cont...
go on! been following the past few days
Yes please! I was lurking all day yesterday waiting for you, love your story. Best thing to happen on r9k in a long time, reminds me of years ago when /r9k was mostly greentext stories and not cuck/trap threads.
forget about chads and stacies and normies
i hope you're doing alright - things won't be shitty forever :)
you'll be okay.
That dog is my glimmer of optimism on the horizon. Thanks OP.
>you'll be okay
I don't think so. I seem to be in a shitty mood regardless of the situation. Things that were a dream a year ago that are now a reality depress me more than they make me happy, and what used to be my depressing reality back then looks like heaven now. I think my mind is broken.
>>28634980
:) i spent a whole year depressed and drinking most days
then i slowly stopped drinking as much and started working out more. i found out which of my friends weren't worth keeping
robots need to be nice to each other not remind each other how life is unfair
>be trying out my new pocket pussy in my room
>it feels fucking amazing
>getting close to cumming
>mom knocks on door, don't hear her because of my music
>mom opens up door and sees me
>pocket pussy is see through
>mom sees my hard dick inside of a pussy pocket
>she just says sorry and walks out
I saw her again this morning and apologized that she had to see that, she just laughed and said "it's fine babe, don't worry". Then she asked "but what was that thing on your peepee?"
I told her it was a pocket pussy, she asked me "does it feel good?" to which I replied "fuck yeah". Then she said "I think I know what I'm getting your brother for his birthday", then we both laughed and the subject changed. I'm glad she's cool, or else I would still feel really awkward.
I'm glad my mom is so awesome, it really makes my life more enjoyable. Do you have a good relationships with your moms?
Also, share stories of your moms walking in on you masturbating
That's pretty awesome. I wish I had a mom like that, my mom was an alcoholic and I never saw her much.
My mother killed herself after I was diagnosed with autism. It's low on the spectrum, but I guess she assumed I was going to a screaming rocking man-child. I rarely utter a sound.
>>28634894
Sorry to hear that, is she still alive?
What can you assume about a girl who loves anal sex more than regular sex?
She was molested as a child.
We'd be a good match.
She has refined hedonistic taste, and will probably work harder to make herself sexually presentable since the ass requires working out, cleaning etc. To be in top form, unlike the vagina
>watching shemale porn
>suddenly this guy shows up
wat do?
>>28634683
Turn it off.
He's disgusting and probably has AIDS
what choice do i have? it's either him or the easy peezy lemon squeezy guy (ramon). lucky lucky guys
>>28634757
What about Gabriel (that spanish fruit) or the Brazilian guy with the goattee?
These four seem to have the monopoly on the tranny market
Reminder that this is what women truly want
http://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=1464587402
>>28634655
I've been trying to deepthroat my bf for like a month now
It's so hard ;_;
>>28634891
>hard
Kek.
I want to see a woman choke to death on a cock
Who else on /r9k/ is suicidal?
I hate my life and I want to die. I think about it more than anything else. I don't have any friends, there's nothing in life I enjoy, I just want to be dead.
The only reason I haven't killed myself is because I'm terrified of what will happen if I fail. Nothing horrifies me more than the thought of waking up in a hospital bed after attempting suicide surrounded by my family. I hate them most of all.
>>28634624
funny Im more suicidal since coming on this board.
I think, I really would like to end pain. I remember on my 19th birthday, sobbing like a bitch tfw no gf, it seemed like an eternity then, I really wanted a gf since I was 15... 19 was like - 4 yrs without trying it out while everyone around me did it.
Im 26 now.
I dont even react at couples, I just hate the women smirk at me while holding their bf's some even lust after me with their eyes, t b h they are all cucks, no one is safe.
I only wanted real love, coming from divorced parents and being emotionally abused since puberty I juss wanted a girl thats right for me, someone to have an easy quite life. Maybe not forever, but just someone to start dating etc. It had to be real feels though, not these ''relationships'' you see around, 90% of it is shit.
I dont envy them.
But after so many years, and so many phases of sadness I am left just with kind of crazy smile and emptiness.
Its hard to imagine love. I do try though, but when I get close, part of me shuts in, since I got nothing but hurt from girls.
>>28634624
Just got blocked by the girl I really loved. I am holding pills in my hands right now - and I mailed her that if she did not respond to me in 3-4 hours I will end my life. I am so sick of this life, I hate myself, it was all my fucking fault. I love her so much. I miss you, Zoe
>>28634938
>I mailed her that if she did not respond to me in 3-4 hours I will end my life.
what are you? Fucking child...
Dont do that shit fucking cunt, manipulative nigga.
Who /asexual/ here?
>tfw pure and proud of it
you're probably not but you think you are cause you can't get any
There's actually a website for people like you: it's called tumblr.
>>28634640
>le ebin sour grapes meme
If that was true I'd keep trying and failing but that's not the case
who here not interested in anything ?
and just constantly refreshes 4chan cat o logs just to kill time until death ?
that's me to a T my nigger
>>28634609
not really I like playing dayz, having sex, eating food and the internet
>>28634609
I have the opposite problem.
I'm so interested in so many things tha tI get "analysis paralysis" and I can't pick a direction to go in, so I refresh 4chan and play online chess and stupid shit.
I want to be:
- a musician
- a voice actor
- a regular actor
- an audio tech
- a writer
- a stand-up comedian
- a spiritualist / psychedelic shaman / dream interpreter/ magic shop owner
plus, I can't mayke a living doing any of that shit right now so I have to do a full-time job too.
I am overwhelmed and I mostly just check out and avoid life.
>Nigger go back to Africa
Do whites realize how retarded this meme is? You really think getting citizenship in another country is so easy that 40-50 million people can just move whenever the fuck they feel like it. Getting citizenship in Nigeria, for example, takes 15 years. West African countries have laws to discourage americoons from ever moving to Africa because they hate basketball americans with insane amounts of prejudice. They aren't going to change their laws just because you don't like seeing blacks in your videogames or because some Stacy you orbit caught gonorrhea from Tyrone. White nationalism/separatism is a retard empty threat meme that will never go anywhere. You will never kill 50 million blacks and you will never kick them out of America. African natives don't even like intermingling with fellow tribes much less americoons. I can speak from personal experience that african immigrants not only hate us, they actively attack us. You would never believe the shit I know they do
>Getting citizenship in Nigeria, for example, takes 15 years.
That doesn't sound right. I think they're giving you a runaround.
>>28634622
Read up on it
www.nigeriancuriosity.com/2009/08/becoming-nigerian-citizen.html
15 years and you need to be familiar with it's culture, local languages, etc. I used to think I could just be a kangz until I saw how they really were
>>28634603
You don't need citizenship to move, live and work somewhere moron.
