Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 5930. page
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Gib step by step directions
>>25858107
take a shower together and kiss like you're boyfriend and girlfriend for an hour.
>>25858107
>put money on table
>she pulls out your dick and rides you
>pretends to moan
>pretends to cum
>grabs yer monies and leaves you there alone to get dressed
>>25858107
>Go outside with your car
>find some girl on the side walk
>get out of the car
>take your dick out
>spin your dick using your hips(this is the signal for the prostitute to approach you)
Who here is tall (6 Feet or higher) and how has it affected your life? Got any greentext stories you want to share?
i can shoulder manlets out of lines at the grocery store but that's really about it.
9/10 they don't say anything. 1/10 there's that fiesty "I LIFT" manlet that gets testy.
6'4. I'm pretty ugly, i think, but girls dig the height. Only reason im not a kissless virgin. Always get comments and little scenarios at work where you either touch hands or hug because "LOL SIZE DIFFERENCE"
6'2 or 6'3
suck to be honest, i have a weird body
Who /badparents/ here?
>Sister and both parents and pieces of shit but in their own special way.
>Sister is a complete fucking Stacy frat girl who fucked niggers when I was just a kid
>Father was a rich an successful stock broker who became a fucking NEET himself after his mother died, has diabetes and had a stroke, became a lazy piece of shit.
>Mother is a narcissistic egomaniac bitch with daddy issues, always vents excess emotion on the few males in her life. Literally all of my fathers and my mothers family despise her except for herself.
>After my dad became depressed, she threw shoes at him (there's a permanent scar on my dad's chin) cut up his expensive ties, cheated on him with other men, and finally divorced him, sucking him of exorbitant amounts of child support
>Both mother and father refuse to get a job.
>Mother frequently beat me and my sister up for no reason, I later found out it was because of her emotional insecurities and stress.
>Whenever my dad refused to pay child support my mother drove me and my sister to his apartment and dropped us off there.
>"Come on anon, we're going to Costco."
>Dad was a slob NEET who didn't fucking care for me at all.
>Sister didn't have to stay with dad, had a shit ton of rich friends whom she couchsurfed with, leaving me with my dad.
>Mother sometimes let my sister come and live with her but not me
>When asked why my mother said that she was afraid of my dad sexually molesting my sister.
>mfw she leaves me with him but not my sister
>Became an autistic piece of shit who vented his anger out on the school
>Forced to enter retarded special needs class in 5th grade.
>"Don't worry anon, it's a special class made specially for you."
>Class is full of degenerate pieces of shit kids with developmental disorders and hyper-aggression.
>Teachers are utter pieces of degenerate shit who don't give a fuck about you at all.
>Frequently got expelled from elementary schools, moved from one school to another.
cont
Still waiting for you to cont anon...
>>25857919
Sister is 3 years older than me btw
>One night hear a loud noise and shouting in my bed, between my sister and mom.
>Frequently alternated between mom's house and dad's apartment, lived with 2 females when I was with my Mom
>My mother storms in my room
>"Pack up Anon, we're leaving."
>My sister is hysterical in the background
>Apparently my dad was not paying my mothers fucking divorcebux again (She hasn't had a job in years) but he was in Monterrey California with my six granddad.
>Mom somehow bought tickets to Monterrey California and was planning on sending both Sister and I there.
>Dad had flown out of California back to Portland Oregon, he wasn't there, and my sister was trying to explain to my mother that very thing.
>My psycho bitch mother didn't care, insisted he was there (even though he wasn't) and that he had a responsibility to pay
>My sister being the spoiled Stacy she was was screaming bloody murder and the police were called
>I was 12 at the time
>I have no Idea what the fuck is going on
>Police question my mom, question my sister, question me.
>My mom says "I'm gonna kill her." in an exasperated tone
>Police go apeshit and call Child Protective Services.
>CPS ship me to Child Haven
>Crying my eyes out
>"I want mama."
>Spend 3 days in Child haven, crying everyday.
>Eventually shipped to Foster Home
>Foster mom is an old obese black bitch with a jive accent I could hardly understand
>Had to share a room with a hyper-active ADHD white trash 17 year old.
>Keep in mind I was fucking 12
>Rommate keeps making fun of me all the time
>Black Bitch doesn't do a thing about it.
>One day she all herded us into her fucking minivan to drive someplace.
>Notice she isn't wearing her seatbelt while she's driving.
>"You're not wearing your seatbelt."
>She fucking frips the fuck out on me and stops the car, screaming in her Jive.
cont.
>>25858156
dang man you're unlucky at life
Don't Western women essentially deserve refugees to come to their countries and make them think twice about their bad behavior?
>>25857802
they'd like that wouldn't they? because then at least someone would be chasing after them top kuk.
>>25857802
More AS side boob ples
>>25857802
Islam will make women submit to it, which is more than you can say for cuck Westerners senpai
I'm in love with Milana.
You don't think she's had sex with the guy in this pic, do you? I'd probably an hero if she did.
>>25857796
they look like brother and sister to be honest, their eyes are samefag lol.
qt's all up in that photo.
>>25857796
If she hasn't then shes missing out. He is a major fucking qt.
>>25857812
Milana is the only qt in that photo, to be honest.
so i was at walmart today and they actually sell guns. i was standing there, feeling some kind of relief after looking at the guns and their prices. I can end this horrible life of mine for ~$200...this is indeed a good country.
>>25857771
I know people who buy starter guns there for the kids all the time. Why is this surprising?
Back in Roman times it was the policy in certain provinces that any citizen could petition a Judge for suicide and the state would provide all the necessary materials (usually hemlock) free of charge.
The only ones who were denied this service were people the state had an economic incentive to keep alive (Soldiers and Slaves mostly).
The biggest reason suicide is frowned upon so greatly today is the conception of suicide as "Self Murder" and a mortal sin against the christian God that arouse in like the 15th century. Before that suicide was often a matter of honor.
Do i need a license to buy them?
I've never felt the touch of a woman.
I'm considering booking a session with a "professional cuddler". It's $120 for a 90 minute session.
Should I do it?
Just get a hooker you knob
>>25857769
But this is legal, less expensive, and the girls are cuter and less skanky.
>>25857744
>hiring a hooker that believes is not a hooker
you should go to /r/4chan instead of being here altogether
>Chad is fucking my crush RIGHT NOW
>I'm still here sulking on an anime imageboard
HAHAHAHAHHA...hahahhhaHAHAAHahHAHhah...ahaHAHAHahahHAHAHhhah... holy shit I'm a fucking joke
YOU
J U S T
U
S
T
CAN'T MAKE THIS SHIT UP CAN YOU
>>25857609
>having a crush
le oregenal comment
>tfw I'm gonna end up a kissless NEET until I either kill myself or get kicked out
HAHHAHAHAHA OH MY GOD
A girl i know its cucking her boyfriend.
She is my friend. Pretty qt, i actually would bang her but she is far away. She tells me a lot about her affairs. Her bf is an ugly bot she says she loves but she still bangs a lot of guys on his back.
She told me she doesnt want to leave him because they work as a couple (ha) but she doesnt want to stop seeing other guys either. So i think she actually HAS a cuck fetish.
Idk why i am telling you all of this robots. Probably because i liked her, but now, eh. What a dissapointment.
destroy
a friend puts a friend through trials to strengthen and develop them. do not let them down, you know what's best for them
>>25857459
What letter does her name start with
Hmmmmm
>>25857459
if you arent going to let him know then fuck off and kill yourself for trying to make us mad
Who /irritablebowelsyndrome/ here? How do you cope, robots?
By eating a balanced diet and maintaining healthy levels of physical activity.
>>25857442
By staying at at home all day every day. I can go from feeling fine one minute to an exploding ass the next with no warning.
>>25857442
Not exactly, but I am lactose intolerant so I can relate.
Carry generic Lactaid everywhere I go and buy singles/portable packs of Pepto-bismol when I forget.
Avoid all milk and cheese when I'm out, along with anything else that might be slightly laxative (such as coconut water/milk) I haven't had any accidents or near accidents in a long while *knocks on wood*
had any of you anons got sexually assautled?
>>25857423
By my own sister
Does getting forced to penetrate count?
>>25857455
yes anon,it do
>Things going well with progress at the gym, even if it's small
>Warmup on a 215 deadlift
>Sharp pain near groin
>Cautious, take a break, attempt again, nothing
>Work set, 225
>Try to get first set up, it's not "heavy" to my legs and back
>Left side of groin/abdomen flares up, extremely painful and makes me drop weight
>Pack up, go home
>Check hernia symptoms
>May have hernia
>Still weak piece of shit
>No health insurance
lol the one thing in my sad sorry ass life that was making any sort of improvements and this happens.
I know girls that deadlift more than you and they're Petite
you think youve seen some shit?
ive been lifting for 3 years now and i still cant bench 2 plates. hell i can row more than i can bench
>Too scared of going to the gym
>0 muscle mass
>skinnyfat
I'm not going to make it, brehs
Why not just fuck a fat chick and get the virgin thing all over with?
fat chicks reject me
>>25857294
Damn. That's sad/pathetic tbqh.
>>25857267
I have checked listings time and time again.
Even the fattest cow with a fwb tag said that she only wanted men with rock hard abs or some shit, men with monies yada yada.
I'm not paying for jack shit.
Is there a more patrician fetish than armpits?
If so, what is it?
>inb4 feet
girl farts
>>25857227
Disgusting and wrong.
Bumping so more robots can discover a love for armpits.
it's just girl smells, friend
no need to be testy
Hey guys serious question here.
I major I the Japanese language. I am a little embarrassed about it, but I enjoy it.
Anyway, If I told you in real life that my major is Japanese what would you think?
I am really paranoid about this. I don't watch anime or read manga, nor do I like Japanese society that much. I have a thing for Japanese girls and am in the closet about it.
Would you have been able to guess this if I told you I major Japanese?
> I don't watch anime or read manga, nor do I like Japanese society that much.
>doing it for pussy
NORMIE GET THE FUCK OUT TTTTT GET OUT RRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
GET THE FUCK OUT
I would either assume you were a tremendous weeb or you planned to translate professionally.
I would definitely ask you why you had chosen that major.
If asian
>Trying to get in touch with your roots
If not asian
>Dirty weeb
