Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 6911. page
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>tfw khv
>tfw at christmas gathering my cousin with a fat ass sits next to me on the couch wearing short shorts and the bare skin of her thick thighs are touching my legs
>tfw i got a diamond rock hard boner
Anyone else go through something similar today?
did she feel it?
>>25258802
no lol
haha
>tfw my 80 year old grandmother is suddenly acting weird and it might be early onset dementia
she's my only friend, I can't believe I'm going to lose her
Take some nudes of her and post them, I'm sure she won't remember it ever happening
in the same boat. only she's 92 so no room for hope on my end. she is literally the kindest person to me that i have in my life. i'm deeply sorry for your future loss, and i'm sure youre dreading it as much as i am mine. spend as much time as you can with her, every day counts.
>that guy that brought his guitar to school
>first notes he played were from Stairway To Heaven
>that kid who DIDN'T watch anime
Kek, what a fucking social reject. What kind of loser doesn't watch anime, right my fellow anime girls?
why dont you neets train to become cops?
Tweety, no ;-;
My gf rejected me when I came into bed and started kissing her.
>"I would rather play more video games with my friends than have sex with you."
Anyone else /abusiverelationship/? Happy Holidays
>>25258493
ok fuck another girl grow the fk up
>"Ok time for you to move out now"
Anything less and you have no self respect. Pussy.
>"DAMN ANON THANKS FOR LETTING ME SMASH BOTH YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR GIRLFRIEND AT THE SAME TIME. MEANS THE WORLD"
good thing I'll never have a girlfriend and don't care who fucks my mother
not capable of summoning enough disbelief-suspension to imagine that one of those women birthed the other
Anyone else just walk around doing this?
>>25258405
a little bit of nookie takes that feel away immediately.
5'10"/6'0"/6'2" cutoff is a myth. lanklets BTFO
5'11 is the cutoff for manlets
6'0 is the cutoff for being dateable
6'2 is the cutoff for being an official Chad (if you're ugly this disqualifies you though)
5'10 is the cutoff for considering suicide
people 5'9 and under are worthless
Please help me /r9k/
>On tram
>Only me, 7/10 grill, and black guy on Tram
>Everyone minding their own business
>Girl starts freaking out over laptop not working
>Thing is mashed to shit, has a Chris Christie 2016 campaign sticker on it lel.
>Punches laptop lightly, says don't worry multiple times to no one in particular
>Pulls out vodka bottle
>Pours vodka on laptop
>Drinks the last part of it
>Starts to roll bottle on floor
>Her stop arrives and its the same as mine
>She's a new hire at my company
>I work at an airline
>We start talking later
>She's very sweet yet mousey and quiet
What do I do /r9k/? She's obviously insane with the train episode but I don't know, I like her. I don't have a number or anything. When I asked her what her name is she said she had not needed one for a while. I haven't been able to sleep because I'm thinking about her. I'm tired. I won't see her until Sunday at work. I have no pictures yet.
>>25258393
The black guy is gonna cuck you
STAY AWAY OP.
I don't care how desperate you are do not go for a crazy chick.
>>25258393
>mfw qt gf did not make me happy
First Time Masturbation
>Be 12 years old renting movies with dad and autistic brother
>American Wedding just released on DVD
>See Unrated warning and get curious
>Watching alone in my room when bachelor party scene comes on
>Realize I have the hardest boner of my life and knew I had to do something about it
>Only thing I knew about masturbation was catching my brother
>He would literally lie down butt naked on the living room couch with a pillow case over his crotch jerking off
>Not quite sure the mechanics so I pull my dick out with just the head sticking out of the band on my stomach
>Start flicking the back end of my penis head progressively faster until I cum
>Penis is sore as fuck but I do it 6 more times (thanks to A-B Repeat)
>tfw I couldn't write by hand for 4 days because my hand was so cramped
>>25258374
>Little me liked to steal Victoria's secret mags and wank even though it never did anything
>Hot summer night couldn't sleep
>Start jerking
>Wee Wee feels funny
>Woah.png
>Cum all over my stomach
>Stay completely still for 5 minutes
>Cotton mouth sets in
>Go to bathroom and clean off
>Fall in love
>Be me in middle school
>Hear some guys talk about porn in class one of them said the site he uses
>I become interested
>I wait until night to jerk off for the first time
>Computer was in the living room
>Go to redtube
>But on the first video
>It was some chick get nailed under a waterfall
>Gets hard as a rock
>At this point I understand how to jerk off
>Starts stoking my dick
>Feelsgood.jpg
>Suddenly little sister opens her door
>Never in my life I was so scared
>LIfted up my pants and closed down the browser
>What are you doing anon?
>Just going to sleep
Ever since that day I can't jerk it that memory just pops in my head and I loose my hard on
>tfw just want to move away to a different city and start-over
can any oldfags relate? i grew up in a small town my whole life and so badly waited to be 18 and move to a new city. I"m 26 now and am beginning to feel that urge again to just pick up everything and move
>>25258273
You should do it anon. When I was 23 I got sick of living in a rural environment so I packed up what I could fit in my car and drove half way across the country to live in a big city. I lived in my car for the summer and eventually found a job, got an apartment, and fully relocated. It's been over three years and I'm still here. It was probably one of the best risks I'd ever taken in my life.
>>25258273
same here I live in the south and filled with niggers and hillbillies. Only single mothers and obese women no jobs besides being a truck driver or logger = I'm moving to the capital not coming back this town is dying
>2015
>Women
>Ever
>has girls lining up
>thinks hes a robot
Fuck off faggot
Tfw no qt trap Steam bf.
>>25258134
I'm sissy. Would that work f-for you?
>>25258222
Thats fine but only if your a good girl and put on cute oufits for me.
>>25258222
Also you have to respond to my posts quicker or ill choke you.
who here wants to just stop caring about women?
I think my dream would be being chad but turning down every woman and just doing successful shit like investment banking
>>25258059
There will never be a girl like my waifu. Pls don't pay her.
>>25258059
I stopped caring about women and started caring about men :3
>>25258059
I hate women despite being a straight man. I'd sooner die alone than live with a modern woman.
>le virgin pretends he has a le choice xddd
I've had several relationships and I'm just done.
>coworker you like announces to everyone shes getting married
>she looks at you specifically
Did you check to see if someone was standing behind you?
>>25258054
Maybe if you weren't an ugly august she would have married you instead
>>25258054
>you're gay so it doesn't matter
