Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 8632. page
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Whenever I drink beer, I notice it makes me feel kind of sickly. Earlier tonight I had about 5 beers (after 3 I was feeling good and tipsy so of course I wanted more), I fell asleep for a bit, but now I woke up and feel shitty. My stomach is bloated and I have a headache.
This happens every time I drink beer. Is this a common thing? Or is my body just particularly bad at handling it?
>>24075249
Nigga, you probably have Celiac disease. That's what happened to me before I cut wheat out of my diet (this includes beer). It's also what makes me deathly afraid of kissing women who haven't just immediately brushed their teeth and gargled mouthwash.
>TFW kissing girls literally makes you sick to your stomach
You could have an allergy to one or more of the ingredients that was used to brew it. It's not uncommon. I've noticed that with unfiltered wheat beers I can get a bit head stuffy.could by psychosomatic though
Although, sour stomach/bloating is common with beers in general. So I wouldn't be too worried.
Drink plenty of water while you're consuming alcohol if you don't ya dingus. May be hard to tell your drunk self that, but find a way. Water helps everything.
>>24075312
you should try kissingboys:3
Post what your suicide note would say if you killed yourself.
>>24075164
>Ya'll are some characters.
>>24075164
all i asked for was a gentle femegg
now i will jump off the cliff
goodbye s e [f] n [a] p [m] a i
Why do people feel the need to write a suicide note? I already know how ill be offing myself and feel no desire to write suicide bullshit notes
>Considered herself a mediocre actor prior to landing Star Wars and beat herself up over it
>Even after landing it, spaghettied an audition for an unnamed role by sweating so much she had a wardrobe malfunction
>Despite massive newfound wealth, continues to live at home with her family and her deaf and blind dog named Muffin
>Broke out in song constantly on set
>Likes to knit really long scarves
>Hopes to maintain a private life with her family outside the Hollywood spotlight
>So insecure she is actually taking classes in psychology "in case her acting doesn't work out"
>Thinks "people who help others get through awful points in their life are amazing. To touch someone who's going through something would be very fulfilling"
>Thinks that growing up is about finding what "everyone has within them, all the special things about themselves, to make a good life for themselves and those around them"
Fuck off, robots. I'm calling my new qt fembot waifu before the plebs and media circus are abuzz with her come December 18.
>>24075123
litterally is starring in a blockbuster movie
rich
attractive
>how fembot
>Believing all that bullshit
>>24075274
She may not be fembot but she is definitely qt3.14 waifu material.
What is it called when your close friends all die of starvation?
A senpai-ine
SENPAI-ine?
Get it?
*mic feedback noise*
members of audience shuffle in their seats
Oh crap, the word filter just killed my first joke.
OK, NOW FOR ANOTHER JOKE.
What do you order when you are out with your slutty girlfriend?
A roastie.
With extra roast hanging out the sides of the bun.
Get it?
W-what do you call a deer with no eyes?
No idea!
/r9k/ movie recommendations
"circle" it just came out
Taxi Driver is "/r9k/ The Movie"
>>24074978
I RECOMEND U KILL URSELF HAHAHAHAH
GIT DUNKED ON
If you look at least this good, getting a boyfriend will be effortless. If you have trouble it's because you're gross and fat, and you're too lazy to do something about it.
>>24074789
I'm not fat at all, it's just my face.
and I'm too poor to do anything about it, and by the time I'm not, I'll be too old for it to be any use.
>>24074822
that's a bonked excuse
Does being too ugly for Chad mean you have to abstain from dating?
>>24074858
...what?
>If you have trouble it's because you're gross and fat, and you're too lazy to do something about it
I'm just saying it doesn't necessarily mean you're lazy.
I'm stuck on the toilet. I have access to some self help books, shower curtain, some plastic, deodorant, a hand towel, dehumidifier, trashcan, toothbrush, toothpaste, an empty toilet paper roll, and an unused decorative candle.
Help me space robots, you're my only hope.
If you have a shower curtain you have a shower. Christ just wash it off.
What are you, totally covered in shit? Just get up and walk over to where the TP is. Or just get in the shower and wash your butt. How is this hard.
>>24074682
>>24074689
I'm retarded. I'm utterly retarded. Thanks.
Can you honestly resist this?
I'm a believer, and I'm pretty sure I'm gonna burn in the deepest parts of the worst hellfire, but she turns my dick into diamonds.Boipuccy ; best puccy
>>24074591
>she
thats a rite laff thar innit
>>24074591
You know having a gem in your asshole isn't the most flattering thing to look at. In fact it looks like a pimp cane is shoved deep inside that anus.
>>24074668
It's a buttplug, not a gem. It's an asshole, not a treasure chest.
Hi! I'm the anon who's been having a bad time on the US with grandparents
got something to tell ya
>grandparents force me to go to church
>today it is a different one
>curious yet scared
>it's not so bad
>people ain't screaming or crying
>can't stop yawning tho
>it finishes, it's someone's birthday
>they're having carne asada
>everything tastes so goddamn good
>eat a bit too much
>fucking freezing
>get coffee
>warm up right away
>they present me with someone
>they like me
>they keep telling me to go hang out with the stacys that attend that religious group
>2shy.png
>it's for a good reason
they're normies
>they go to church
>they hang out with other people
>FUCKING CHURCH
>''they probably think videogames are satanic, grandma''
>''depends, are they christian videos of games''
>GASP
>NAH, I AIN'T FUCKING HANGING OUT WITH THEM
>too innocent for me
>come the fuck on
>I browse /r9k/
>I'm into so much weird shit by now
>I'm a walking meme over that
>FUCKING VIDYA
>I CAN SEE TWO MILES AWAY THEY DON'T LIKE THE SAME SHIT
>THEY WOULDN'T FUCKING TAKE ME
>THEY LOOK LIKE NORMIES
>THEY SMELL OF NORMIES
>qt dude they presented me was nice tho
>someone thought I was his lil sister
>feelsgoodman.png
>weird tho
This doesn't sound that bad anon. Maybe you're just exaggerating? Something you left out? It's not like they laughed at you or some shit did they?
Kill yourself fag because no one wants to deal with you
>carne asada
Youve won me over OP.
Introduce me to yourself or to the Stacies
>Anon, pause the video game
>IT'S A ONLINE GAME MOM, I CAN'T PAUSE!!
>>24074488
God the fucking feels
Did anyone else regularly fake sick in middle school to stay at home, eat tendies and play vidya?
Except this happened with my Grandpa. He punched me in the jaw because of this once
Are you going to drop everything and move into an isolated cabin in the woods?
Doesn't it sound peaceful?
>>24074453
No, because
1) I need Internet to live
2) I don't know how to catch or cook food on my own
3) I fucking hate insects
>>24074453
yes
>>24074515
>implying internet doesn't exist away from houses
>basic farming and occasionally buying bulk foods from costco/idk
>then dont sleep on the ground, live in a house
>>24074453
Been seriously considering it for a long time. Just think I'd need to move further south cause the winters would really suck.
>you will never have a robot boyfriend because they all hate you for no reason
Robots don't need other robots. They need extroverts to grab them by the neck and show them how to live life. Two robots will eventually get tired of each other, they would both be happier with Chad and Stacey, the irony.
>>24074452
its cause you are a trap
hating faggots and trannies such as yourself is 100% justified
>>>/lgbt/ GET OUT
Managed to break the spell and start a relationship with a girl and lose my virginity. I'm a little older and I know this feat is not at all remarkable in any way but I'll answer questions and give advice on how I did it.
>>24074437
You're a normie.
You can do what you've always wanted to do and stop coming to /r9k/ forever.
This is release from our special hell.
>>24074437
how old are you, how did you meet this girl, did she know you were a virgin before hand, if so how did she react. also, prior to this girl, what's the furthest you had ever gone with a girl and at what age did it happen
>>24074491
Yeah I suppose I am. I still feel like I'm an alien walking among humans though. Sex doesn't magically solve all your problems though. I know that's like telling a starving person that food is just okay, but the point is that if you feel like a robot now you'll probably feel like one still even if you get sex.
saturday night ausfriends
how are you holding up?
the few friends i have all have their own normie shit they are doing so it looks like it's another night of drinking alone at home and watching anime for me
>>24074378
not much, just procrastinating as usual
what anime you watching?
>>24074378
haven't slept in a few days, studying like a motherfucker
very jealous desu senpai
>>24074378
blimey govna! i got a wee bit'o tea to be sippin righty-o mate!
What jobs are good for robots?
fertilizer.
>>24074355
Janitorial work. You're usually alone and no one wants to do it, you you have good job security. I miss it. I was a janitor for 4 years.
>>24074387
This. I was a school janitor for a while. Shot was cash. Except when those little faggot would shit all over the place.
