Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 8631. page
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Describe how this makes you feel in one word or less.
Indifferent.imagaybot
fremdschamen
>>24076085
Why is the sky blue, howcome the girl is touching me? I-is this sex?
"Why do you have my phone?"
>"I'm just deleting all the numbers in your phone, I also deleted all your porn on your computers and flashdrives and burned all the porno magazines you had hidden."
"Why the hell did you do all that shit?"
>"Because I'm the only woman you need to be looking at. Don't worry, I put a bunch of naked pictures of me on your computer so you can masturbate to me whenever I'm away. There's even a few, 'special' videos I made just for you."
"O-oh.."
>"You'll love me forever won't you? You'll impregnate me and make me your woman right? I'll bear all of your children, I'll entertain any fetish you have. I'll even go into chastity and be your lusty cockslave. Although one of these days I want us to get a traditional marriage in a church, I know it sounds totally cliche' but I've always wanted that ever since I was a little girl.
>>24076047
>tfw no gf to devote all my orgasms to
>>24076191
>my orgasms
But you're man, not a woman.
>>24076047
>tfw this is literally my gf except shes chinese, not white
L I T E R A L L Y P E R F E C T
how do you feel about twerking?
It'll be interesting when they studies one out linking it to degenerative discs or something.
Moving like I've seen people do can not be good for their long term health.
for peasants who have no self respect
Terrified
>go to psychiatrist every week
>in the waiting room with all the other mentally ill
>sitting next to really cute girl
>see her every week but never really spoke to her
>she's quietly talking to herself
>can't help but stare at her
>she notices me looking at her
>she stares at me
>i look away but she continues staring
>she doesn't stop staring
>sweating bullets thinking some crazy shit is about to happen
>eventually she says "did you come to spy on me?"
>i look at her and she she stares at me without blinking
>i say "nope"
>she takes my hand and licks it
>freaked out and aroused at the same time
>she says "i understand"
>looks away and continues muttering to herself
>go home and masturbate furiously
Should I ask the crazy girl out on a date?
Sounds like the first episode of a romcom anime tbqh
She wants to fuck anon. Cum inside that crazy pussy.
nah you should take me on a date qt desu baka
WHY IS HIROYUKI MAKING DESU SAY DESU THO SENPAI
T desu
B
H
-
F senpai
A
M
Tbh senpai
T B H F A M
Tbhfam
to bother shitposters
Senpai desu
F A M T B H
Famtbh
>WE SPEAK ENGLISH ON THIS HERE BOARD YOU FUCKING GOOK IF YOU DONT LIKE IT MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE INVESTED IN A JAPANESE SHITBOARD INSTEAD REEEEEEE
I fucked up anons. I decided to end it by taking a fatal dosage of ethylene glycol, which is supposed to stop the heart.
I accidentally took diethylene glycol, which causes kidney stones and paralysis or a coma if I'm lucky. How do I explain this to the poison control center? I don't want to be in paralysis for the rest of my life just because my family decides to keep me alive.
>>24075778
Take the other stuff you retard, quick.
>>24075778
You took advice on how to kill yourself from /b/ didn't you?
For being that stupid, you almost deserve what is about to happen to you. Almost.
Go out to the ocean. Swim as far as you can. Keep going out. Eventually you will be too tired to swim and you cannot make it back.
Good night, sweet prince.
True love.. does it exist? Is it even possible? If I am skeptical that is, is it just because I've become jaded from past experiences? Or is true love actually just a huge load of horse shit?
Also would especially appreciate femanon input.
>>24075740
if you're into bromance, probably
Of course it exists. Why do you think you see so many happy couples paired for life?
The real thing to question is if everyone can and will experience itthe answer is no
>>24075772
Thought I had it. Was with someone for 8 years and that's a huge chunk of my life. But somehow shit went wrong after awhile. Somehow grew apart. I wanted to make it work. She just kind of ran from the troubles, she always ran from anything that was hard in life.
Then I started to think; it seems like all women just kind of go where ever they get attention and feel infatuation without any real loyalty. At least that's how it feels.
In b4 stop feeling sorry for yourself anon. I'm not, I've moved on. But now I've got trust issues. Especially now when I see kekery everywhere.
>tfw you can swear that sometimes a qt gril checks you out from the corner of her eye
>>24075707
I used to like it but then I realized they're probably fucking normies with normie tastes and normie habits. Now I just feel repulsed.
>>24075745
Lol stop being a fag. As is a normie would ever be into a fucking robot like you
>>24075707
>tfw I feel like this constantly
I'm pretty sure my mind is just fucking with me so that it can deal with the crushing loneliness without completely shutting down due to depression.
>tfw you're so lonely that gay relationships are starting to look appealing
>>24075693
I'm already there.
>tfw even robots don't want me
>>24075731
Why do you think that is anon
>>24075746
I'm unattractive and that's all that matters in this world.
ask a guy who just facefucked his recently deceased stepmom's corpse to lose his virginity anything
>>24075491
How did you lose your virginity?
I'm not sure that counts. At that point you're just putting your dick in an inanimate object. Might as well bragged about fucking a couch or something. Except, you know, more fucked up.
>>24075491
Was it worth it ?
Do you think she came in the after life ?
Was it cold ?
>A "crisis of masculinity" in which many men fail to seek help even when catastrophic events hit their lives is leading to tragic consequences for thousands of families, they said.
Just lol.
Crisis of masculinity -> Even more feminism -> even more male suicides
Feminists will use that to justify even more misandry...
>>24075458
>>24075509
The ride never ends.
The only way out is suicide.
>>24075458
Why do normies feel like a problem this big should receive attention only when it's too late to do anything about it? It's only going to get worse.
>tfw for the 1st time ever I have $1,000 to my name and no bills to the 25th
It took 3 years of living paycheck to paycheck but im finally saving money. Were all gunna make it bros
>tfw just got my monthly 6k perdiem check
lel
>tfw $25k signing bonus hits your bank account
lel
>>24075329
Good for you man. Dont fuck your shit up
I'm willing to bet 80% of the people on here right now have been using r9k for less than 4 months
I remember coming on r9k the day it was created but i didnt use it because i had no idea what it was for. I would stop by once in a while and i remember everyone here used to call each other gentlemen and have a lot of green text stories. idr when i started frequenting r9k but it was definitely after moot put the beta as fuck tag on it. fuck i've been on this fucking site for too long
![[HorribleSubs] Shingeki! Kyojin Chuugakkou - 05 [720p].mkv_snapshot_15.02_[2015.11.04_12.27.52].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/oAd1zJo.jpg "[HorribleSubs] Shingeki! Kyojin Chuugakkou - 05 [720p].mkv snapshot 15.02 [2015.11.04 12.27.52]")
I remember reading stories on here in 08.
But you're probably right. Most people don't even remember that shit.
>>24075261
At least I don't post umaru like a cancerous fgt lel
Whenever I drink beer, I notice it makes me feel kind of sickly. Earlier tonight I had about 5 beers (after 3 I was feeling good and tipsy so of course I wanted more), I fell asleep for a bit, but now I woke up and feel shitty. My stomach is bloated and I have a headache.
This happens every time I drink beer. Is this a common thing? Or is my body just particularly bad at handling it?
>>24075249
Nigga, you probably have Celiac disease. That's what happened to me before I cut wheat out of my diet (this includes beer). It's also what makes me deathly afraid of kissing women who haven't just immediately brushed their teeth and gargled mouthwash.
>TFW kissing girls literally makes you sick to your stomach
You could have an allergy to one or more of the ingredients that was used to brew it. It's not uncommon. I've noticed that with unfiltered wheat beers I can get a bit head stuffy.could by psychosomatic though
Although, sour stomach/bloating is common with beers in general. So I wouldn't be too worried.
Drink plenty of water while you're consuming alcohol if you don't ya dingus. May be hard to tell your drunk self that, but find a way. Water helps everything.
>>24075312
you should try kissingboys:3
Post what your suicide note would say if you killed yourself.
>>24075164
>Ya'll are some characters.
>>24075164
all i asked for was a gentle femegg
now i will jump off the cliff
goodbye s e [f] n [a] p [m] a i
Why do people feel the need to write a suicide note? I already know how ill be offing myself and feel no desire to write suicide bullshit notes
