Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 1328. page
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What are you watching/listening to/eating? Why are you still up? What are you doing tomorrow?
I'm watching Fear and loathing in Las Vegas, eating grapes. Got class tomorrow. Second day of new semester. Maybe play Fallout 4 later until it crashes, check some mods on LoversLab.
>>29455383
Im in las vegas.
>>29455383
playing rainbow 6 with my friends on ps4 and browsing r9k. that is a cute pic u got there
>>29455429
no way that's awesome. Does it smell like faint alcohol and semen constantly?
What is she saying? What do you respond?
1.
2.
3.
4.
1. reeeeeee
2. U wot?
3. Reeeeeeee
4. U focking wot m8?
1. It's dixercise time again!
2. Aww shit I'm still sore from yesterdays drill.
3. No excuses, private! While you're slacking, the enemy are honing their dicks to perfection. You WILL match their pace!
4. Yes, maam. (I still say she's making that shit up.)
1. Hey, I bet all your friends would love to hear the cute noises you make
2. Wha-You wouldn't!
3. Pffft as if, you're all mine
4. Ohhhh-! D-don't tease me like that
>I just want to skype sex anons because they're just as lonely and won't leave
who art thou quoting?
>>29455270
Im too ugly and my voice sucks, not even anons would want to skype sex me.
Tfw no anon to comfort me while I'm crying alone.
I watched the simpsons episode where homer's mom comes back, it's supposed to be such a good episode but I cringed literally every time lisa said something and most of the time the mom did.
>lol homer ur so dum u dont know what rhetorical means HAHAHA GET IT IM A SMART STRONG WOMAN MAKING FUN OF THE MAN THAT PROVIDES FOR ME LOL
>wow grandma you referenced entry level literature, let's have a giggle over how smart we are xDD
>omg you used rapport, RAPPORT OMG SUCH A BIG WORD IM SO SMART!
>wow I must have been adopted cuz they're so DUMB and I'm so SMART LOL!!! but ur smart too so iz ok lmao xD
>i'm a dumb bitch who got suckered in by wacko liberal ideology, I literally abandoned my family without saying goodbye but all is forgiven cuz I have a vagina xDDD
>omg homer stares at stars, this is so deep and emotional ;;(((
I literally wanted to murder them both, at least Homer's mom is only in this episode but Lisa is in every episode and is like this all the time. She didn't become insufferable, she always was. Marge and her sisters were alright though.
Shut up edgelord
Yeah the leftist bias in Simpsons bothers me now when I go back and watch it.
>ayn rand school for tots supposed to be some evil oppressive institute
So funneh xD
>>29455397
I think in the first few seasons, the message is leftist, but the message also makes fun of itself. I really, really hate how they try to make Lisa some sort of prophet for leftism. Easily the worst character. Burns is basically the "far-right" devil who is there to torment the entire town which is hilarious because in the real world actual jew industrialists are leftists who are aided by government sanctioned monopoly and regulation.
Seems like women love to have cum on their face.
It reminds them of what they are good for.
She couldn't be happier than with ejaculate strewn around her mouth.
>>29455197
I like having cum on my face.
Not to mention, in my mouth.
women love to be slutty as much as you love to see them slutty. Evolutionary advantage with regards to procreating
I pee on the cups my whole family uses
>>29455105
That's a true NEET sentence right there
>>29455105
lol shut up retarded pepe haahhaueheuh
stupid epep beby hahaha
stipid pepe
u want diapaer pepe ? LOL useing recorder hahaa stpid pepe lol
>>29455105
Nigger
listen to me
i have done this
no memes, no lies, i have actually done this
i was using the bathroom family drinking cup to measure how much piss i was pissing
and i got caught because i didn't rinse the cup thoroughly enough and my brother tasted it.
Below average girl thread. Post below average girls. Would you hit it?
Why do people let themselves get so fat? Fuck.
>>29455083
Already said yes to that one in the last thread.
>>29455100
HUHHH. Yeah she did.
How about this one? I think she might be ugly because she's old, though.
Accepted my normie brothers invitation to go to his friends house, big mistake. Never doing this again. Hug me robots.
>>29455018
If you want to tell your story just do it dont pussy foot around you dumb cunt
No, I'm not going to ask you to tell your fucking story. Saged, reported for CP, hidden, tab closed.
>hey guys ask me about this story
fuck off. you're worse than the people who use 500 out of the 2000 fucking characters telling a part of the story and then asking
>le hurr durr xD who wuntZ moar!! :D
Anyone else here find themselves incapable of smiling?
>smile anon!
>is something wrong?
>hey cheer up!
There's nothing to smile about when you realize life is suffering you fake fucks.
>Iife is suffering
>>29455002
I'll bet that pic got 200 likes
>>29455002
You're being dramatic. Life is hard for everyone, and most people feel like shit a good portion of the time. Pretending like you're doing fine = doing fine. As long as you try and keep a positive attitude and never complain people will want to be around you and things will get better. Your depression might not improve overnight, but it's a step in the right direction. The pain may never cease, but your handling of it will improve with time, meditation and practice.
Let's get something straight: If you have never FUCKED a vagina, then you are a virgin. If a girl's vagina has never been FUCKED like pic related, then she's a virgin. Anything less than pic related = VIRGIN. Why can't you autistic fucks understand this simple concept? BJ's / HJ's / rubbing genitals together does not count as losing virginity.
>>29454952
Agreed, wholeheartedly so
Yes it does. It's called oral SEX, faggot.
>>29454952
>If you have never FUCKED a vagina, then you are a virgin.
Correct.
> If a girl's vagina has never been FUCKED like pic related, then she's a virgin.
Roastie, pls.
A girl is no longer a virgin if she's had a dick in any orifice
What kind of income do i need to not instantly turn off women?
I make 6k$ a year..
absolute minimum: 50k
if you want to really impress them, +100k
>>29454912
You're delusional. On first dates very few women are going to ask how much you make. That's breaking rules of social etiquette, and unless they are specifically looking for a sugar daddy the question wont come up.
What matters more is your ability to communicate and present yourself in an attractive way. You have to be likeable/funny. That will get you more poon than a paycheck.
Get a fucking job that pays you more than $115 a week you fucking loser
>Be in college because parents force me
>They're tired of my NEET tendencies
>I'm now a 24 year old freshman in college
>tfw
>Go to classes to please parents but that just isn't enough for them.
>Force me to join sports team.
>Im skinny as fuck with no athletic ability
>End up being the water boy for the school's lacrosse team. Mfw
>Every single person on that team is a chad. Socially, good Looing, and females line up to watch them practice.
>One particular Chad is pretty popular with the ladies. He's an 18 year old freshman in college, and now the star athlete of the team. Also openly, bisexual.
>Make it a point to avoid talking to everyone on that team, but he keeps trying to make conversation with me.
>I eventually give in because he has such a likable personality. No wonder people like him so much. I realize we have similar interests
>oh
>We begin to hang out after practice, and we quickly become close. He starts to ditch his 2789123871983 friends to hang with me.
To be continued
please more right now anon, tell us more
bumping for interest desu
>>29454908
>In matter of months we become best friends.
>He starts to become unusually touchy.
>Hugs me out of no where, would kiss me on the cheek randomly when we're alone. Demand cuddles on the coach.
>Me being autistic I didn't think anything of it. I just thought it was something bros did, or maybe something the younger people we're into?
>I never had friends before so I just went with it.
>One night we're watching Iron Man 3 at his house. It's cold as hell, so we're cuddling again.
>"Hey anon"
>What
>"Turn your head"
>Turn my head from the movie and his lips are instantly on mine.
>okay.jpeg
>He pulls my chin towards him and starts kissing me hard. He's aggressively mouth fucking me for a couple minutes. I never kissed anyone before, but it felt great.
>mfw chad's bitch for those moments
>His hand lands on crotch, where I was very obviously pitching a tent.
>I stop it right then, and push him off.
>He apologizes for pouncing on me, but he's smirking. He's not really sorry.
>"Anon....were you okay with that?"
>"I didn't hate it"
We smiles, and then we continue watching the movie.
>mfw I think I'm in relationship. I made it.
>be me
>be kissless virgin NEET
>meet nerdy fellow virgin girl at friend's birthday party
>she gives me her number and asks to hang out
>wait a week then text
>we hang out and watch ghost in the shell for a while and then start kissing
>we're both pretty awkward at first
>she kinda teaches me how to use tongue and make out
>this goes on for quite some time
>eventually, she asks if we should go to the bedroom for privacy
>go there, she takes off shirt
>awkwardly tell her i don't have condoms
>she says, she's on birth control and makes a joke about how it'll finally be going to use
>start making out again, and slowly gyrating and removing each other's clothes
>fuck and cum inside her
>pull out my laptop afterward to watch something while cuddling
>all of a sudden i realize how fucking annoying her personality is
>she falls asleep by my side
>don't know how to get rid of her
wtf? am i insane? i was legitimately attracted to this chick two hours ago but now everything she says makes me cringe... am i become Chad, destroyer of hymen? are girls nothing more than moistholes for depositing semen? i feel disgusted with myself
YOU MUST MASTER THE WAY OF THE CHADGeez, I almost always post in all caps now
>>29454874
That does seem really shitty, but if that's how you really feel there's not really much you can do. You're probably just really immature, or a teenager.
>>29454874
Welcome to the red pill, I honestly prefer masturbation to actual sex. Ofc I want it initially while I'm horny but after I take care of business I'm glad I chose to just masturbate and not have to deal with all of the extra bullshit of normal sex.
Other people are cancer who at best won't be annoying.
What games do robots like to play?
For me pic relatedhoping this thread wont be 90% of the crap thats LoL,CS,hearthstone
>>29454844
I'm really into Hotline Miami
>>29454844
I've been playing RuneScape on and off for about 10 years. The game is essentially for lonely autists. All it is is grinding after grinding.
But now more people play 07 RuneScape than the current RuneScape, but I don't want to go back because I'm used to the new changes. All it is is clicking on something over and over and over until it gets you money or xp, so it's stimulating for retards like me.
>>29454844
>ArmA
>DCS world
>HoI
>mount and blade warband
Tell me about the time you met a gril in person that you knew for a fact browses 4chan
If I posted the story you wouldn't even believe it.
>>29454931
Post it anyway m9
In year 8 when everyone was a chavvy Chad, a roastie Stacey or a weeaboo edgelord. We both fell under third category
![[050422].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/aH0mH6R.jpg "[050422]")
