Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 6122. page
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>you will never have an average looking gf
>somewhat plain, dull hobbies, but loves being with you
>wasting several hours watching Making a Murderer on Netflix
Women don't work like that. Unless you have an autism fetish.
>>25689609
Just live in a weed state. Most stoner girls are boring as fuck, and we waste so much time watching shit like CSI: Miami reruns.
>>25689647
So take up smoking and take one home with you. Just leave Jar Jar for me.
>tfw no rey gf
feels bad man
>Tfw you will never be "interrogated" by Kylo Ren
>You will never purify him
OR
>Tfw you will never hold Finn's hand
>>25689388
nice dubs
>you will never betray fellow stormtroppers with Finn
Damn she is perfect
Greetings. I am a scientist working at CERN. I wanted to thank you guys for your assistance in the great work. We linked this board into the system and used the negativity pouring in to help fuel the device and communicate to our "friends" on the other side. We are this much closer to bringing them into our dimension this year. Thank you, your negativity and hatred and rage has sped the process up considerably.
In the coming months until their arrival you will notice more paranormal events happening, both in private, as well as things making the news. Sadly the majority of you are going to die once "they" come through the gate we're creating at CERN. If it makes you feel any better, normies will suffer a fate worse than death. The New World Order will be in the final stages of completion, so again, we thank you. Now please enjoy the official anthem we play here daily at CERN.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BcSTQ2m7MAI
If you won't be phased out by Agenda21 and die of starvation, the bio-weapons or total global nuclear melt-down will get you. If you're a collaborator with the system then human militias and military commandos will hunt you down.
If you escape that then the skynet terminator robots will get you, and if you manage to evade them then the aliens will hunt you down. If you made deals with the elite and the aliens you're as good as dead, because there is no room for human elite in an alien society, you're the first that will be terminated in order to prevent you to fight back with the gadgets you got from the aliens.
And even if you should manage to avoid all of that (you won't), then the black spirit mist will get you.
If you're on earth at a certain point, you'll be doomed one way or the other, because the planet itself is under attack. That's what evil is and what evil does. It doesn't stop at some point saying "ok it's enough now". Evil is the anti-thesis to live itself. Live - eviL. Inversion.
And even if you should manage to get off-world to your secret mars colony or elysium space station - there is no running from planetary karma. It will follow you wherever you go. No matter if off-world or back in time or forward or to a parallel universe or another dimension, it will follow you, it will seek you, it will find you and it will deliever to you what a coward/traitor/maniac deserves.
There is no running, no hiding from, no fooling, no tricking, no hacking the infinite intelligence of the universe you fools.
Live extension and nano-probes and other cockroach elf gadgets won't get you out of this, escaping into immortality.
And your reptilian overlords know that, because they're smarter than you. Hence planetary karma warfare. Hence installing an indigenous EL-ite among the planet's inhabitants a global Sonderkommando, to keep their claws clean and green.
But I'mJewishso I'll be alright, right?
>>25689345
>he thinks being Jewish will save him!
If you're human, you're fucked, period. You don't understand our true agenda, do you?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zGc88qnKyh0
We don't want to rule. We want to destroy the Earth. Burn it up, tear it up, ruin it all for future generations. We won't rest until our "friends" turn this planet into a fucking cesspool that no one can thrive in.
who else /diseased/ and /depressed/ here?
>degenerative nervous system auto-immune disease (multiple sclerosis)
>constant needle-stabbing pain in my hands and fingers since mid July
>nerve and painkillers don't get rid of the pain and tolerance is growing
>can't weight lift like i used to because hands
>can't go for walks for exercise because use a cane and it hurts to walk
>have 13 prescriptions, take 23 pills a day
>abnormally color blind
>205 lbs 5'6" ginger, super pale manlet
>therapist recommended I check myself in to a mental institution
>trying to apply for disability but have already waited more than a year and been denied twice (judge hearing is next step)
>live in a shit state in the South, so no MMJ
>25 and spend most time on 4chan and watching horror films
>extreme fatigue and drowsiness due to medication and/or MS
>want to die in sleep
>broke as fuck, depend on divorced parents to pay medical bills and utilities who are frustrated
>only child and a disappoint to my family
>live alone in a shitty old house that has constant problems
>can't turn on heat because propane gas is way too expensive, use small radiator heater in my room with door closed
>SSRIs decreased sex drive and only fap once a week now, and is difficult because pain in hands flare up from jackin it
>a 1/10 diabetic type 1 girl with no driver license wanted to hook up but found out she has fucking HERPES
>migraines and headaches
>attention span and memory retention is horrible, have to watch movie scenes because forget what I've watched
>want to an hero, but heard helium tanks have more oxygen now
>have shit Associate's Degree that got me nowhere, school too expensive for bachelor's
>want to die in sleep
My only pleasure is collecting Pepes. I have over 2500 UNIQUE Pepes. The only thing I'm happy about. Anyone else know shitty life feels?
>>25689178
What will happen is eventually you'll feel like the person you used to be has passed away. You'll mourn them.
But around the same time the pain you endure every day will have become as close to "normal" as you can understand (having long lost any frame of reference for what it's like to feel healthy).
Around that time things get a little bit better. A little bit. You start realizing you aren't going to die anytime soon. Boredom and increasing resentment towards others become the main problems in your life.
Drop the SSRIs if you can.
>>live alone in a shitty old house that has constant problems
Also you should be grateful you at least have this. Most people like us have to live with their parents.
I'm grateful I can still drive myself. I know a lot of guys who desperately wish they could at least still have that independence.
>>25689870
This is true, but my house has a lot of problems. My mom owns it and was formerly my grandparents, but it was built in the 60s so the pipes and utilities are very inefficient.
Does she have a point?
Is fear of BBC the reason why white "men" are so racist?
>niggerniggernigger thread #324863943
nuke this board already
>>25689196
this desu
It's literally /pol/ vs SomethingAwful trying to trigger each other to death. fuck these stupid metaphorical niggers and fuck this 250 reply cuck thread (it has 3 replies right now but ALL black dick posts are guaranteed at least 150 replies)
>match with tinder qt
>has red hair
>plays drums
>smokes weed
>listens to good music
>likes my band
>6/10
>gave me her number and said we should chill
This could be it bots. Tell me how to not fuck this one up.
Act natural, be calm and collected. Don't make her uncomfortable and you'll be aight. Keep all autistic shit to yourself nigga.
If you're a nice guy, always say what your second thought is, not the first one.
Also she doesn't want to deal with your potential emotional bullshit so don't tell here about your issues or athletes.
If she wants to meet up with you your in, girls decide if they are willing to fuck/date in the first 5min, you can only fuck it up by speaking more. Listen and follow along and try to distract her when shes down not help her with her problems.
show me ur bands music. heres mine
https://soundcloud.com/vformania
>tfw no phat belly gf
>>25689103
god that is one of the most perfect bellies ever
>tfw don't even care about getting a fat gf who wants a fat bf to motivate each other to lose weight
Why do fat shits always dye their hair? Do they think it'll make them look less fat?
Go ahead and post your unpopular opinions.
1 rule- you must respond and critique another poster's before you post your own. This won't be one of those 200 reply threads with no interaction.
>drunk driving is okay if you are careful
>smoking is cool
>both conservatives and liberals are necessary for a good society, with the right being strong and protecting the people and rule of law, and the left creating art and music and being empathetic and caring about the little things, they together create an nice ecosystem to live in, sort of like how man and woman are equal but different and together greater
>assuming you get a normal amount of calories, all behavior is inherited, and everything else is simply poor measurement and noise and wishful thinking
>I believe in true love, that there is someone out there that is my soulmate and we will love each other with a purity and strength and that it is destiny that we meet
>there should be no such thing as mandated car insurance or health insurance, just pay as you go if you want
>it's sometimes difficult to remember why life is worth living when you aren't hungry
>drunk driving is okay if you are careful
Depends on who are you.
>smoking is cool
It looks cool, but you're an idiot for doing it.
>both conservatives and liberals are necessary for a good society, with the right being strong and protecting the people and rule of law, and the left creating art and music and being empathetic and caring about the little things, they together create an nice ecosystem to live in, sort of like how man and woman are equal but different and together greater
A balance of forces is always needed for a productive society.
>assuming you get a normal amount of calories, all behavior is inherited, and everything else is simply poor measurement and noise and wishful thinking
True, everything in your mind, asside from the inheirited chemistry of your brain is an environmental effect.
>I believe in true love, that there is someone out there that is my soulmate and we will love each other with a purity and strength and that it is destiny that we meet
True, but your chance of meeting them is almost zero.
>there should be no such thing as mandated car insurance or health insurance, just pay as you go if you want
Yes, but only if the poor can't drive or own guns.
>it's sometimes difficult to remember why life is worth living when you aren't hungry
Life in general isn't worth living.
Sex should be a human right. Female inmates should be appointed to have sex with robots as part of their rehabilitation program which would improve society on both ends.
>>25688993
life is meaningless but you should not an hero unless you've failed at trying to reach your dream
>or
animal genitalia is better than human genitalia
I've been a NEET for 10 years now. AMA
>>25688780
Do you plan on killing yourself, and if not why?
Would you run away with me, a 22 year old neet?
Tips on how to start living the neet life
Is there really anything WRONG with liking 15 year olds?
Why aren't they considered legal?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=75XKGVwGEt4
>>25688727
you're everything thats wrong with this sub
kill yourself pedo cancer
>>25689295
>Attraction to prepubescent children
>15
At least you tried.
>>25689295
"this sub"
W E W
also 15 is not pedo no matter how hard you try and convince yourself it is
What does a kidney stone feel like?
>>25688708
Pissing lava
>>25688708
Imagine peeing out shards of glass that don't wanna come out. It's something like that. The pain knocked me out it was horrible yet I still drink soda
It's easier to pass than the ever-increasing feeling of perpetual loneliness
>mfw bf calls me mommy
>>25688686
GET THE FUCK OFF MY BOARD NOW YOU STUPID ROASTIE FUCKING SHIT
>>25688686
i love my batmommy
>tfw said "I wanna cum in mommy lots"
>tfw I followed it up with "I wanna get mommy pregnant!"
>tfw frequently say stuff like, "I think my dick was made for mommy's pussy" or "does this hole belong to me mommy?"
>tfw lots more in that vein, including asking for permission to touch my dick and to cum, as well as how I should do it
God I just gave myself a bonner
Also are the captchas fucked for anyone else?
Well I bought a (1) power ball ticket. Who else in this thing?
I am buying 1 tomorrow. Im almost 23 and have never bought a single ticket before.
I hope I win, even the 50k or 1m would make my life just so much less stressful
Been buying one for the past few draws. I sometimes play one when the jackpot gets into the hundreds of millions. I'm not going to win, but having a night or two of the fantasy is worth the dollar or two one a ticket.
A tax on the poor and ignorant.
Sup robots anyone else here drink earl grey?, If not what's your preference
Davids tea, enjoying some vanilla orchid and forever nuts right now
english breakfast with milk
English breakfast tea with milk and sugar with a snack or after meals, green tea for a comfy beverage on its own.
>and it begins
>new girl on the block, me and chad brother show interest in her
>daniella is her name, 7/10
>hang out with her more than my bro, get her number
>i texted her every day at night
>seems like she liked me as well
>notbadfam.jpeg
>a few weeks later, she calls me
>me and her were going out on a date
>eventually, we kiss
>i feel happy for the first time in years
>say goodbye to her, go back home
>just as i walked in, mom asks me where my brother was
>obviously i didnt know so whatever. fast foward a couple of days
>hear brother talking on the phone, dumbass seemed to be talking on speaker. only me and him on the house
>"no, daniella, don't worry. its cool, anon doesn't know"
>confront him immediatelly
>eventually turns violent
>nose is bleeding because of a punch. ask my bro why did he do it
>"anon, the truth is i'm not in love with her. if you really want to know read the first letter in each line"
>>25688491
Nice meme, anon.
Check out my doubles, though.
kill yourself anon, horrid meme
how to shitpost 101
