Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 6128. page
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How do you properly eat pussy out?
>>25683203
>find clit
>lick the alphabet
>don't get caught humming the tune
you stick a straw into her pussy and blow up a nice roastie balloon and then play a game of don't let it touch the ground. then proceed to bat the roastie balloon around the room until she cums.
you lick through the pain that's how
>Girlfriend is on a diet
>We're living on last month's paychecks because work hours cut down
>Says she wants to eat healthier
>We're going to the store to buy stuff to make a chicken salad
>"Anon, I want nutella too"
>"But we should save money, and nutella is pretty unhealthy."
>She gets mad
>Tells me I'm a hypocrite because I bought myself new shoes this week because my old ones didn't fit anymore
>She cries and ignores me for the rest of the day
>I can never win
Why do I bother with women?
>>25683133
you already lost breh. why didn't u buy her some nutella.
your greentext gave me feel
>>25683133
She's trying to break you. Whenever a woman tries to pull this passive aggressive bullshit with me, I don't say a word. I just pull the same shit they pull on me: "We'll talk about this later when you calm down."
They usually flip a gasket, but it's pretty entertaining. Just never feed into her nonsense or you'll get cucked.
>>25683133
sounds like you're dating a spoiled child or there's something you're not telling us
My fucking grandma has been living with us since her husband died and every fucking day. Every god damn day i bring home food she'll take one bite and put it back in the box
She does this with donuts, pizza, everything.
Sometimes it won't even be just one. There have been times I've found like 4 different flavors of donuts all with one bite taken out of them in the box like the world owes her something
She never finishes it either, she just leaves them there
Any ideas?
She's mastered blocking out the 'food noise' , effectively only listening to her 'food voice'.
She wants to treat herself, but realizes she doesn't have to binge by finishing an entire donut, much less four of them.
>>25683117
Did you try asking her to stop taking one bite out of everything? Explain that it isn't hygienic and a bit disgusting.
Is she senile or something?
Maybe she's doing you a favor so you'll stop eating everything like a fucking fatass
this message board has been claimed in the name of chad. In order to stay here you must check off 3 or more of the follow chad identification matrix.
If you haven't checked more than 3, get lost, fucking losers, before I have to take your lunch money.
>>25683040
...
this is unfair
I can check made varsity before junior year and played a group sport in high school though
i was a swimmer butmy high school gave varsity letters for being on the robotics club too
>>25683040
>Have a car with at least 300hp
So anyone with a Lotus Elise, Porsche Cayman, Alpha Romeo 4C, Ariel Atom are looser then?
OP confirmed for autistic retardHe's probably gay too
>>25683040
only middle square
LUCID DREAMING
Do you know what it is? Have you ever experienced it or wanted to?
Lucid dreams are like normal dreams but let you control all the thing around them, because you are LUCID so you know this is a DREAM. Thats the real problem when dreaming, we think is real but, when things seem weird, we just jump out of it. This is because our mind gets so excited we can't control the experience.
But do you even imagine the possibilities of this? I mean, we all heard in our lifetime the "maybe life is just a dream" philosophical thought. Now think about it. When lucid dreaming, you can start to discover/explore a new part of your mind. Its like playing with your mind.
Want to fuck millions of awesome pretty girls? Drive the coast on a Ferrari? Eat the best delicious meals? Visit inimaginable places in this or another planet? Or even talk with yourself about life and thoughts in a personal and intimate way? It is possible, this, and pretty much everything your mind thinks it is.
But dont be a fool, dreams also are filled with terrible stories, emotions, you could, why not, even feel pain. This is an adventure.
When i was a child about 12 years old, while sleeping, had a dream. I still remember something of it: it was like a pursuit, police were searching me and i was hidding in a telephone box. All the scenary seemed like a Grand Theft Auto game (i think San Andreas launched that time) and when police arrived to arrest me, the dream became so strange. Literally, i realised that all that thing wasn't real, u know? It was like, hey you, listen, this my dream and im gonna make what I want. And i did. I fucking sent a meteor into the Earth and I died from it.
More interesting things:
>there are documented cases of people who, after having a sex dream (while being lucid), literally jizzed IRL. They comment it was so intense for them, that some even stated they prefer it over real sex. However, a large majority complained about the difficulty of fuck and control to stay in the dream at same time.
>try to self induce lucid dreaming
>DUDE SLEEP PARALYSIS LOL
Every.
Single.
Fucking.
Time.
Somebody explain to me how I had a dream when I was young teen, and was receiving a blowjob in it, that when I was older and actually got one, it felt exactly the way it felt in the dream. How could my mind know what blowjobs feel like if i'd never had one before? Hell I'd had barely even seen much porn at that point.
Anybody /foreignlanguages/ here?
I speak German and a little Spanish and am trying to learn Russian.
I speak portuguese (native language), spanish, a bit of french, and english ofc
I am studying japanese
(Insert weeaboo)
>>25683056
inserted
>almost got arrested today
>last week go to local sub shop, pitch a slogan they could use. "No Substitute for our subs"
>say for 50 bucks they could use it
>owner said not interested
>this week in the local paper they used it
>go back today and demand my money
>he tells me to leave
>cops were called
Do I have any options now?
>>25682943
burn it down, that'll show them
Might be useful
Youre fucked
You dont give shit out without a contract
>tfw every woman is already jaded from dating a Chad so she will never truly care about you even if you're genuintely good-hearted
Even girls who aren't jaded "will never truly care about you even if you're genuinely good-hearted".
I feel like it's the other way around. Chad isn't a jerk by nature. Chad dates a lot of girls and notices a pattern of terrible behavior and acts accordingly.
There aren't enough Chads to go around for every girl to date them. More like just one night stands. Just pick up a girl that hasn't dated but has fucked Chad?
Would you care to elaborate? Are you saying that you have no idea what you want from life or that you think life is too meaningless to care about such trivial things like pursuing entertainment?
>>25682621
Me too, Anon.
Only thing that comes close is immortality honestly
>>25682838
I know there is nothing I'd want from life. Like I have zero drive to archive anything. I don't care about triviality, I'd just like to genuinely care about anything, I just don't.
>>25682621
Why do you think that is, anon
3120
>Finally get a gf
>Wake up
The time is right
To put my arms around you
You're feeling right
You wrap your arms around too
But suddenly I feel the shining sun
Before I knew it this dream was all gone
Isn't that right, OP?
>>25682718
;_; pls no daft punk bully
You dont need a gf. You have been chosen to be above that. Something greater awaits us. Perhaps... the end?
what day were u born? i just wanna know whats the predominant type that uses 4chan
>>25682524
27 of november
May 25th
6th of november
>why would I wash my hands bro? I didn't piss on them haha
WHY ARE NORMIES SO DISGUSTING?
WASH YOUR HANDS WHEN YOU USE THE WASHROOM WERE YOU RAISED BY APES REEEEEEE
only normalfags care about cleanliness
robots dont give a shit
*touches op's face with cumpiss hands*
>>25682488
THEN WHY DOES EVERY NORMIE WALK OUT OF EVERY WASHROOM WITHOUT WASHING HIS HANDS IT'S DISGUSTING
>>25682500
I DON'T WANT TO RP, NICE DUBS THOUGH
Do robots use headphones or speakers?
headphones of course
Headphones. I don't like other people listening to what I'm listening to. Also decent headphones are far cheaper than decent speakers. Better for VoIP as well obviously.
Headphones to avoid drawing attention to yourself and pretend you dont hear others when they try to talk.
Speakers are only acceptable when completely alone or next to other robots who also dont give a fuck and dont judge.
I finally did it. I met a girl through tinder and went on a date with her and now I'm going on a second date. There are only two problems with this. She is 19 and I am 24. She also has severe social anxiety. So our second date is at her apartment where she lives with her mom.
Should I still go to the second date robots? Is this too weird am I a creep?
I will also post updates if people are interested. I don't know how to tripfag.
>>25682393
try it faggot
>>25682393
No, this isn't weird.
(1) If she's got severe social anxiety, her mother will be pleased that you're still around
(2) You don't have to worry about her fucking around on you
Go for it, man. Sounds like she likes you a lot if she invited you in to her personal space.
>tfw dad's raping my sister again in another room
>tfw can hear her screaming in pain for help
>tfw he's probably anally raping her
>she's only 12
http://desustorage.org/r9k/search/filename/1445801869438.png
Sup faggot
>not double teaming your sister with your dad
well help her faggot
