>mom doesn't just spray perfume 3 times she sprays it until every room in the house smells like nothing but perfume and it smells everywhere she goes
>literally uses the cheapest smelliest perfume in the world
>dad barges in constantly without knocking or even so much as a warning
>they are in my shit literally 24/7
>the second they wake up my mom is yelling at everything and dad is in my shit
>the...
Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>25696639
You're worse than tripfags. Why don't you just get a trip. Here I'll help you.
Name:Look I posted it again
Trip: ##uberfaggot
>sister sprays a cloud of perfume and walks through it rather than just spraying it on herself
>>25696740
yeah, I've seen girls do that.. What's up with that?
You see this? These are bacteria. The most primitive organisms on the planet. This is them having sex. How does this make you feel? That you've failed at achieving what bacteria do on a regular basis.
>that dick length relative to body
how can you even compete
>having sex
Im a dumbass nigga and even I know that's conjugation or some shit
>>25696673
They're exchanging genetic material to create hybrid offspring, it's the equivalent of sex.
>Do you have any drugs on your possession sir
What do?
Swallow all the drugs when he turns away.
>>25696625
>Do you mind if i search you sir?
say no.
Decline any searches
ask if you're being detained and for what crime
leave
Do not at any point admit or even hint to any guilt. Its almost better to say absolutely nothing at all.
You're done faggot
My mom and my shrink read r9k because I once talked about it in my sleep and they think it's "part of the problem" so to Tracy, you think this is a fucking game bitch?
> mom thinks I have potential
> for christmas she gets me "life coaching"
> hires one of the life coaches of the stars
> real big shit kind of thing helps millionaires
> costs a fortune
> makes me pissed off because I could have gotten so much shit with that cash instead
> "Amanda Seyfried? Cool but you never met a NEET, baby" I say as we meet at this posh little place
> see the thing is I haven't studied shit since school
> but for the weeks leading up to life coaching
> i studied the whole shabam
> I know everything about it
> "He who is prudent and lies in wait for an enemy who is not, will be victorious"
> because in a rpg game I learned about sun tzu and the importance of knowing your enemy
> my enemy is that tasty little bitch of a LC
> (they hate jargon and are supposed to talk normal)
> anyone go to session 1 yesterday
> sits me down
> starts chit chat
> I immediately turn the tables like some autistic debater
> "How was your drive over here."
> "Better than the drive from your place I imagine. My mom is richer than you and we have a lavish house. But then again, she's not on a life coaches salary so that could be why."
> she kind of disregarded it and said something about, "life is not about wealth, my goal isn't about money, it's about making people happy."
> asks me what makes me happy
> "let me show you."
> pull out my laptop and start showing her all the porn I fancy
> she's disgusted and tells me to turn it off
> pop a boner
> just start rubbing it over my comfy sweats
> she gets really mad and slams the lappy shut
> "Either take this seriously or I will tell your mom."
> whip out my dick
> "you too, babe"
> it was so epic I screencapped it in my brain
> will easily go down on my lifes highlight reel
> she looked completely stunned
> 1/2
Hurry up and post the rest of your lie
>>25696561
At least finish your fake bullshit bro.
>>25696561
sick story mate
Size doesn't matter you tremendous faggots !
>>25696513
Whatever helps you sleep through the day Robot.
>>25696513
say that again in presence of my 3 inch virgin micro dick
>tfw have a 6.5 inch above average dick.
>tfw will never be able to use it
>tfw wasted genetics.
pic related
Poor little manbot, typing away
Women get out, you roasties stay away!!!
Little does he know, a fembot he craves..
All menbots want to do is be our boyslaves
>>25696506
>a fembot he craves
it's true, now pls be my gf
>implying that you're a girl
>implying that you aren't a neckbeard
>>25696506
>women can't be robots
>there are robots willing to be your boislaves
pick 1
ITT: Things parents say
> "You always give up, when there's the smallest hint of any resistance!"
> "When are you going to look for a job?"
> "Oh, wow look who's lying in his bed again..."
> "So, did you took care of [...]"
> "I called the job center and made an appointment for you."
> "I hope you don't stay like that...
Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>your New Years resolution should be to smile more
>>25696464
>"you need to get out of your comfort zone anon. You wont achieve anything else"
>"x family friend's y son your age is making 6 figures. Im just telling you about it, not comparing you"
>>25696464
How old are you?
Please be 12
>get job at office in IT
>manger is a woman in her mid to late 40s
>calls me in to her office to fix her computer
>as I'm fixing it she's flirting and asking all about me
>finish and start leaving
>"remember you can come back anytime"
What do I do.
On one hand I can take advantage of this and maybe get a promotion
But on the other hand she's married and I don't know if I'm comfortable with this.
>>25696416
>moralfagging
why even bother making a post
>>25696416
Did you make a vow to her husband? No? Then you aren't fucking bound by it.
Any immorality in this relationship belongs to her, whether she seduced you or you seduced her is irrelevant. She made the vow. If she wishes to cheat, she will cheat. Who she does it with is inconsequential.
>>25696416
>boss, mid to late 30s, flirting with me
>comes to work in yoga pants (we're alone in a room with two cubicles, which is probably her doing) and bends over all the time
>constantly putting hand(s) on shoulder and chest
>her husband is being treated for cancer in the hospital
I'm sorry I ever doubted you /r9k/
>robots actually believe it's hard to meet people or chat with strangers
I do it all the time. What's your problem that you can't do it? I've met genuine stuttering autistic literal spastics who manage to do it; why can't you?
>>25696369
I feel like I have to pull teeth to make people talk and they rarely have anything interesting to talk about. I get bored listening to people talk about their shitty friends or what useless shit they want to buy next.
I can meet people, sure. Meeting interesting people? That's another story.
>>25696369
Because I have nothing to say. De
>>25696406
Then what do you post on 4chan? Why are you on a BBS if you've got nothing to say?
Wageslave here
Bored @ work, anyone wanna have a robot handwriting thread?
i keked at your handwriting anon
>>25696330
u a grill OP?
fuckin female handwriting
>>25696849
There are no girls in the Internet
This is super fast and sloppy
>2016
>she doesn't do anal
How do you expect to find a boyfriend like this, girl?
Why do it in the nasty, smelly ass, when you can go for the real prize, the juicy, tight pussy?
>>25696323
Why do it in the nasty, smelly pussy, when you can go for the real prize, the juicy, tight ass?
>>25696312
Ive just given up trying to get men. I just got me a dog to get physical contact with lol
What does one do to escape their current reality? I plan on joining the military in another country soon.
Win the lottery like me.
Idiot you must be citizen of that country to join it, it not so easy
>>25696180
Browse 4chan and reddit, watch sports and shitty tv shows and porn.
Are Japanese girls the most cute?
>>25696096
They certainly have the best uniforms.
>>25696096
eh jp girls are kinda on th low end of cute desu, speaking as a jp..
koreans are cute but mostly plastic and chinese girls are ok if you can actually find a cute one i guess
any other asian is a subasian piece of shit and should be killed tho desu
>>25696096
I wish i could be a slave for the girl on the left. I want to clean her anus the moment she gives me that slaying look. Probably as a slavic person i have some wee bit of mongol ancestry and it's resonating so hard when i see an attractive asian girl.
How can anyone want to fuck Sophie Dee? She sounds like a fucking child. That voice would annoy me quicker than anything
Sophie Dee isn't bad. I think she's really popular with the british. Also, she's probably as mature as a child. Porn stars don't need to grow, they just need to know how to please men and the money rolls in. If you don't like her then just jerk it someone else. I don't know why you feel like you need to like her.
>>25695985
>disgusting titcow
I'd fuck her
she's nasty thats why i like her
Why do people break up?
pic unrelated
He or she found somebody better, usually the woman.
Spent time with someone I was interested in (perhaps sexually or to their personality etc), and found out they would not be enjoyable to spend time with long term. Better doesn't really fit, because sometimes you can have two beautiful puzzle pieces, but they only fit if they're from the same set.
>>25695817
spoken like a real 14 year old im glad youve got it figured out man what was her name haha girls am i right fuck em am i right haha :)