Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 7188. page
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>tfw telling your therapist about /r9k/
Therapist thread, get in here le damaged individuals. Tell us about your therapist, is she qt?
>paying money just to have someone pretend to care about you
stop
i won't stoop that low
i'd rather be alone
at least with a prostitute you can hold hands and she'll suck your cock
people tell me to go to one I'm probably agoraphobic but I don't want to see anyone outside so I don't.
>>25191615
The state pays for my "therapy."
>thanks obama . . . but I would've rather had a job, a gf, and a future than one hour with a 70 year old psychologist once a week.
Hey guys, today I'll be showing you how to do the perfect "e-yeeey".
What is e-yeeey?
The term "e-yeeey" has been developed to be the antithesis of REE. This means that rather than saying it when something displeases you or sets off any neurological disorders you may have, e-yeeey is used when something pleases you.
For example:
Interracial relationships are wrong.
e-yeeey.
Now that we've defined e-yeeey, let's see how to create a perfect one.
First, you'll need to establish a resonance in your voice. Try doing this exercise below:
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0NXoK3YqCdG
You should keep this in mind when you're making your e-yeeey. Without the resonating base your e-yeeey will not sound as good. Next is the tone.
Here is my e-yeeey without the resonating base. Please be weary of the volume:
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1qyw8HfFeUm
Can you see how shrill and unappealing this e-yeey is? I won't be using this one anytime soon!
The trick here is to combine resonance and tone together to create the perfect pitch for your e-yeeey.
Tempo is also important. Perfect e-yeeys stretch out in the middle to extenuate the resonance in your voice. Here is a recording of me humming the perfect tempo for an e-yeey:
http://vocaroo.com/i/s02KjqUWy5I7
Finally, putting together all the knowledge we have learned today we can make that perfect e-yeeey! Sit up straight, breath deeply a few times and say an e-yeeey keeping in mind the resonance, pitch and tempo. It should sound a bit like this:
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0DTKBgbLkiu
Thank you for reading this guide. Feel free to post your results below for study.
>>25190138
oh jesus christ my fucking sides
Thanks OP
I really needed this laugh today
>>25190138
wow this really changed my life, here are my first lowly attempts at e-yeeying can I please get a rating on this, friends?
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1wFZC8KvFU6
What are they? Seriously, fucking tell me. I know some of you bang hotties left and right.
If you're attractive they are. If you're not they aren't.
>>25189975
Do they text you often, and start conversations? Do they share things they like with you easily? How touchy are they in person? These kinda things are things to look for
she makes your special place feel really good.
Daily reminder if you went to prom or any prom alternatives during high school you can >>/getthefuckout/
>>25189895
>prom alternatives
like what?
>>25189895
I had the option to, there was this tall jessica biel-looking girl with freckles and long black hair that wanted me to go with her. I totally pussied out and i hate myself for it. I could have been normal i think, if i had went and then went on to college. Fuck i'm such a fuckup
I was just chillin with the mates on prom night.
>mfw some dumbasses got caught drunk at prom and had to apologize in front of the entire grade
What's your weird sexual fetish/fantasy?
>>25189772
This picture made me kek and spit out my apple juice.
My fetish is to be naked on my hands/knees around 8-9 of the cutest girls I know at my school, while they suck my toes, gag on my dick, lick my ass, suck on my fingers, make out with me and lick/bite my nipples. Pure, immaculate worship at its finest form.
I want a girl to have to pee but not and she just holds her pee as we make out and I tie her to her bed and keep making out with her and she still has to pee so as an incentive to keep her from peeing on her bed I put something of hers between her legs that can't get wet like her phone or something so that if she pees she will ruin her phone and I'll play with her nipples and make out with her and make her suck my dick until she pees herself and ruins her sheets and her phone.
>>25189772
The funny thing about your image is that one theory as to why human womens breasts became so developed is as an analogue of female apes butts being large as an indicator of attractiveness as we switched from walking like apes to walking upright.
No fembot feels to be found, I'll start
>excited to go out with friends because of my new jeans
>no guys even notice me
>creeps stared at my ass
why can't I just find a nice bf
>>25189164
the 300th post of this thread will be doubles
>>25189201
hopefully it will also include a train pic
>>25189164
>>no guys even notice me
>>creeps stared at my ass
they are obviously taking notice to your ass
how do i get to this place
jet ski across the pacific ocean
They don't want you there, otaku gaijin
Join the Navy senpai. I most likely will end up in Yokohama or whatever that base is
Memes that hit too close to home
mayree
This one tbqh
captcha: clickin tricycles, my comment wasnt unique enough
>>25186157
Its a hard life, but im a hard man.
>tfw no gf with a cute face and round fat belly
That feeling of being a belly girl currently hanging out with a robot I met here. Sometimes it works out boys.
>tfw no belly gf to feed treats to while running her belly
>>25185847
Fucking autocorrect
*rubbing
Original comment desudesudesu
Would you marry a girl who had autism?
>>25184829
I might,
This robot is annoying as shit
>>25184829
Idk, maybe it would make her really cute... or it could get old really fast, I'm not really sure... probably though I mean I am a robot after all.
>>25184829
Holy shit, I love them dorky and outgoing! (Even if it's just with you)
The quite, reserved ones are pump and dump. They hold to too much other drama from wherever.
My pusheen box has arrived!
cooool
what is it?
oc
What is that shit OP. Don't make an intriguing thread then disappear you cunf
Why are you still a virgin? Mostly asking the younger set. With all the social media hook up stuff available today and the through the roof levels of whoring even the average girl is up to, what's holding you back? There's literally apps like tinder that are expressly made to find people to fuck. It's not going to get any easier than it is right now. You don't even have to TALK to people anymore, just send some lame txt message. Unless you are hideous, as in deformed hideous, you're selling yourself short if you think you can't find at least someone.
Small penis. Other wise I would have the confident to fuck the world. Regardless of how average I am.
>>25180444
I'm fat. If I ever lose weight I'll try it.
Because I don't try, seems like a waste of time desu. If I end up with a gf it will be purely through coincidence.
Anyone here also having trouble trusting women?
At least in terms of intimate relationships. Being friends I'm fine with. Same with being coworkers and what not. It's just when it comes to dating them that I've lost my faith.
It's always so weird, and presents problems that you never find anywhere else. You're always with some girl who doesn't take you seriously. Or is reluctant and distant when trying to get close with. Or when you try to give them space and go at their own pace, they take it for granted and gyp you. Or they act unusually flirty and forward, but when you try to take them up on it, all of a sudden they shy away and keep you at a distance -- yet eventually come back to you and act all friendly like nothing happen. Or they just slowly drift away without a care in the world. Or they get pissed at you for either coming on too soon, or not coming onto them sooner. OR they come onto you and try to get closer, but when you pursue, suddenly they slip away and just vanished and never keeping contact. All making you wonder what the point was in even talking to you in the first place.
I just want somebody who treats me like a person. Someone who takes me seriously. But who also isn't afraid to be fun and spend time enjoying each other's company. And yet after nearly a decade of dating people since college, I'm often left believing this doesn't exist in the opposite gender. That all you're left with is people who take you for granted.
Bump because... I don't know, really.
Iktf
Breh
....
There with you anon. The only gf I ever had, seventh grade, cheated on me with a ginger. Unfortunately, one time I saw his dick. It looked like a speckled jellybean.
I guess she fell for the persona.
And that is part of the reason I'm here today.
only comfy posts edition
Post waifus to be honest lads
>watching new show (won't say which one because spoilers)
>glass of robinsons
>whole lasagne my mum's made me
comfy
comfy post lads
Who /ugly/ here? Share your feels/stories/whatever.
>get rejected by landwhales
>girls say "ewww" every time I get mentioned in a conversation
>catch looks of disgust
>even /soc/ rates me 3/10 (which means a lot since >95% of people there get rated 5 and above)
>>25174576
Fuck, sorry op :( If it makes you feel any better post a pic of yourself and I'll rate
>>25174654
I don't have any pics of myself. Also, I'm not an attention whore.
>>25174576
anon you will make it. You would never want to be with a woman who says "ewwww" if you
name comes up in conversation, also they are land whales fuck them. The right woman will come your way who is just attracted to your physical and social quirks you will be fine cheer up anon.
>>25174654
You could do a pic... I guess
![1450818995383[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/lb7K7BK.jpg "1450818995383[1]")
