Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 7191. page
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I was only 18 years old, I loved Trump so much. I had my room foiled with gold, and all the memorabilia and a custom fedora.
I prayed to Trump every night, thanking him for saying what I, what we all thought.
Trump is yooge, I'd say, Trump is life.
My faggot liberal father hears me and mentions something about fascism, but I know he's just jealous of the leadership of Trump. I call him a cuck.
My father disconnects the internet and goes to bed. I'm crying now and I've rubbed my cock off too much.
Suddenly I sense a presence in the room, I feel something cold approach me.
It's Trump.
He leans in close and says to me, "You're hired."
I fluster as I reorient my 500lb girth, I want to please Trump.
He takes off his golden pantaloons and reveals his 24k 12" dong. I slurp on it excitedly, I will show Trump I am loyal.
He yells a mighty yooge as he fills my throat with liquid assets.
My father opens the door.
Trump looks him dead in the eyes and says, "The power, the destruction of nuclear weapons... [i]it's very important to me.[/i]." He transforms into a miniature golf jet and leaves through my window.
Trump is yooge.
Trump is life.
r/4chan/10
>>25192390
that's a 10 outta 10 faam
>>25192390
>He transforms into a miniature golf jet and leaves through my window.
Lost. Just, just lost...
I really really really like Daisy Ridley
Like she's not even that hot
What the fuck is this obsession with her man
Help
She looks like if Keira Knightly was born autistic, with the wide head and eyes.
She's an obnoxious shitbaby, honestly the worst part of the new star wars movie was watching her pms over things.
>>25192384
She's a very good looking woman.
Recently I've met a couple of people I really like, they are real people living close my place and I can at least try to develop meaningful relationships with them.
Yet few days ago I've met an anon on sft and fell in love with him. He lives on the other side of the globe and most possibly doesn't even like me back. Now I'm broken and crying in public transport. How do I fix this situations anons?
>>25192556
What are you trying to imply
>>25192371
>Other side of the globe
This triggers my autism. sphere's do not have sides.
Also I don't know what the issue here is. He 'possibly' doesn't like you back so you're upset? Why don't you figure that out first before reacting.
>>25192371
>Crying
>Better blog about it on r9k
For real though, get a hold of yourself anon.
>tfw no rule 34 thread
Please post more senpai
I've fapped to that Gwen so much.
>>25192639
>a girl will never give you this look after you cover her ass in your man juice
I took a virginity last night.
She's 21, a skinny Chinese girl, and in the last 14 days we've been slowly warming up with groping, kissing, licking, etc. She was super cute about it, squirming and not able to control her own body. She's cooking me breakfast right now.
I'm 22 years old, and can finally cross one of the big ones off my bucket list.
Merry fucking Christmas, /r9k/. May all good come to you all.
You lost your virginty to a dog eating gook because you couldn't get a white woman. Congrats, nothing to be proud of.
>sex with an asian girl
Doesn't count, it only counts if the woman is white, black, latina, or indian.
>>25192319
checkmate noob
Any suicide bros interested in a suicide pact? Post location.
>>25192220
Is this really a thing? I'm in Oregon not quite ready to go but I hope things go well for you bots.
If this is real, thenAus.
>>25192220
>interested in a [...] pact? Post location.
>>>/soc/
Been dating a qt3.14 curvy (Not fat) girl for a few years now.
Fellow Robots hit me with your sex ideas/positions/moves/fantasies to do with her,
Live vicariously through me, I'll let you know if I've already done it.
Looking for that quality robot creativity.
cut her tits off and grill them and make her eat them.
impregnate her and cook the child after starving her for a week or two. then feed it to her.
>>25192199
eat dat pussy nigga
>>25192242
Thats a nice puss
Yeah done that
According to the Buddhists, meditation leads to psychic powers called siddhis. Why don't you meditate for psychic powers, /r9k/? You can become a dark jedi like your autist hero Kylo Ren.
Op is right. Thanks to Buddhism, I discovered I was actually a Great Old One in my past life. I'm closer to using siddhi to regain my true form so I can then wreak havoc across your pitiful planet.
Thanks Buddha, I'll be sure to consume your biomass first!
>>25192114
Siddhis are typically a part of vajrayana buddhism. Vajrayana monks tell tourists that before outsiders came to Nepal/Tibet, yogis would fly between retreats.
It's either they're basically fucking with outsiders, or they believe these myths based on the very esoteric belief systems the Tibetans had before Buddhism came to the area.
>>25192114
Eight primary siddhis
In Hinduism, eight siddhis (Ashta Siddhi) or Eight great perfections (mahasiddhi) are known:[9]
reducing one's body even to the size of an atom
expanding one's body to an infinitely large size
becoming infinitely heavy
becoming almost weightless
having unrestricted access to all places
realizing whatever one desires
possessing absolute lordship
the power to subjugate all[10]
sounds like horse shit
How does a NEET get a girlfriend ?
I tried online, but they are all ugly :(
The hot ones are fake :(
You don't anon you just don't, the best you can possibly do is just hookup with some random girls at bars or whatever if youre not to far gone
>>25192041
You go outside and just talk to people. I don't care if when you first start you can only awkwardly say "hi" and then flail your arms while running away, just do it. And you tell them the truth. If they don't want to be with you that's that.
>>25192069
Go to a bar alone? is that allowed
Anyone else ok with not having friends and being a kissless virgin?
I realize how undesirable I am, so now I just intentionally isolate myself as much as possible. I have completely lost interest in relationships and sex and will instead dedicate that time to my mental health, physical health, and finances.
Some of us just simply don't belong in society and that's ok. We can strive for success on a different path.
That's me tho I gave up on life entirely. If I try to improve myself I feel like I'm 'investing' in life which I don't want to. I know I must die but my instincts keep me from just doing it.
>>25192066
You shouldn't, brother. Tell me, what are your goals and dreams?
hitting a little to close to home here dude.dank
The school forgot to put my graduation quote.
Or did someone take it off?
It pisses me off senpai
What was the quote
Well then fuck them up until U get dat quote
>>25192049
>>25192109
"die normies die"
>mom forced me to go to all male highschool
>missed out on all opportunities to meet girls
>from age 14-18 I interacted with girls maybe 1-3 times a year
>my fucking mom never let me switch schools
Not that I would have been able to get a gf anyway but I still feel like I've missed out horribly.
>>25192005
you didnt miss out on anything anon
i wish i went to an all male high school
>>25192005
>Mom forced me to go to all male high school
This is either bait or your mother is an actual retard.
My mom wanted me to go to an all male school
I wouldnt have taken such a horrible path if i did
Let's share some rape/impregnation stories for the good ol' times's sake, robots!
I'll start
>get invited to a normie party out of pity
>stand in the corner most of the time and browse /r9k/
>everyone gets drunk
>don't drink much, maybe 2 to 3 shots of vodka
>eventually everyone passes out/leaves
>find a 10/10 passed out roastie
>fuck her and jizz in her
>leave
>mfw 9 months later i found out through normiebook she had a baby and doesn't know who the father is
>mfw no one even remembers I was at the party
lets not
fuck off
>>25191988
kek you've got balls
>>25192056
"^" but written in a way that gets past the robot
I've taken this post, thanks
Show off your OKCupid profile.
>>25191972
>neo blablbalba collectiblablalbla
stopped right there,fuck off.
woah
you're putting yourself in a corner
>>25191972
>OKCupid
You might be looking for >>>/soc/ OP
>Well look who finally decided to wake up and come on out here
>Come on anon pull up a chair you're just in time!
What will you be doing on the day of the lonely r9k?
>hey he's alive!
>wow didn't even know he was here!
>>25192024
Hearing that shit pisses me off so much. Even just reading that made me rage a little.
No family
I suspect my housemates will do something retarded
If so I will avoid it
In the days following I'll get a whole lot of discounted christmas foods from the supermarket and have my own christmas dinner
the after christmas discounts are really the best time to have your christmas dinner
