Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 8177. page
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You love you lose
Post them fellow robots
Won.
God damn hippo nose, reminds me of that fat cunt Amy schumer
tfw no girlcop waifu
You get all you ever desired in life however you have to do one of the following:
A.) Kill a parent of your choice publicly, and everyone will remember what you did
B.) Cut off one of your hands privately, you can make up a story that everyone will believe on how you lost it
C.) Neither but you will die alone and penniless within one year and in that time will suffer great emotional distress
>>24577470
Easy. Cut off a my left hand. I'd look baddass with my trench coat.
>>24577470
You must b stupid. Cut off the hand, then wish for a robot hand.
>>24577470
As long as 'cutting' just means removing, e.g guillotining and not just sawing at it which I wouldn't be able to do, I'm in.
In fact, I would give me whole right arm for the thing I want.
Make it both arms, and I would wonder, because that would impair my ability to lay down my thoughts, but I might still do it.
>"Thanks for taking me out for dinner tonight anon, could you drop me off at Chad's place, hes having a party tonight?!?!"
>>24577377
Sure, but I hope there's parking. What time are we going?
>>24577377
not today, we're going to the dark part of town now bitch
No problem, Stacy. Ya know I luv ya.
Stephen Hawking gets fed with a pipe and he's done more in life than you robots ever will with 2 arms and 2 legs.
Genes smhenes and depression is just a stupid excuse.
Its entirely your fault if you are a failure at life.
Exactly. I'm an idiot who constantly makes terrible decisions and never tries to fix anything.
But it's not my fault I am me.
Stephen Hawking is a genius and I'm a fucking moron.
>>24576950
Yeah but Stephen Hawking is really clever and I'm not
What are you asking Santa for this year?
>>24576845
A pure helium tank
Nothing. Christmas is for children. Adults know that all the presents in the world won't fill the hole inside.
A place to live. Homeless is getting old.
>tfw you blew your best friend and now it's weird between you
>>24576814
>tfw had sex with my best friend of 7 years
>we didn't talk about it after it happened or for years afterwards
>friend spontaneously asks me one day what I thought about what happened
>ohshit.png
>don't wanna talk about it
>in a panic, pretend not to remember
>friend keeps pestering that I must remember
>insist it never happened, it must have only been a dream, etc
>now things are weird between us
>mutual lesser friend thinks it did happen
>it did but now I can't go back on what I've already said
>best friend and I have drifted apart because they think I'm a liarand I amand I kinda wanna fuck him again
This thread's gay.
>>24576814
>having a best friend
norman ree
>Listen to solid advice all my life:
>Go to college
>Go to grad school
>Move across the country
>Professional technology career
>Obtain house
>In a decent relationship
>Can essentially buy anything I need and nearly everything I want
MISERABLE AS FUCK.
There really is no hope my fellow robots -- ever.
I'm in a field I genuinely like, have freedom to work from home most days (only in office 2x a week on avg), home I purchased was everything I was looking for and got a great deal on it, gf isn't a fake fucking stacy and I can be a real cyborg around her without trying to fake a 100% normie, play vidya whenever I want (sometimes "on the clock").
>>24576795
Just kill yourself whiney bitch. Fucking insufferable.
Honestly people like yourself should kys desu. All you do is bitch without real problems like a teenage girl.
Oh no i have more than like 90% of the world. My life is so miserable. Just fucking kill yourself you piece of shit. Most people will agree that you are just a whiny bitch. Literally buy a gun and fucking blow your brains out.
Would you date a goth girl?
>>24576749
Absolutely but the problem usually ends up being that they're ridiculously insecure or just plain batshit crazy ufu
Would you post an image.jpg?
>>24576785
my problem is that women dont like me
face it, asian women are the only option for you if you live in america, a majority of the m aren't degenerate like white women, hispanic women or black women
>>24576672
but asians that grew up in a western country generally are just as degenerate as the fucking white girls
asians that grew up in asia, on the other hand...
>>24576710
are xenophobic trash? Ye I feel ya bro.
>>24576672
>aren't degenerate
Lol.
Her name is Rachel. She used to be super sweet. She is cute, smart, everything. Now she won't talk to me at all. Why? Because she just decided she would rather be a bitch. Whatever I did, I am sorry, but she won't listen.
Be bros and message her on skype at [email protected] and ask her why she hates Dane now. Tell her i said she should stop being such a tight assed cunt.
Did you really think this would work? Why are you being such a little cunt?
If you end up with her, it should be because you're the best one for her. Not some pathetic little beta orbiter who tricked her into hating her ex and somehow that gives you a leg up.
>>24576692
like you know fuck-all about it, cunt.
>>24576647
Dafuc Dane. Do you live in california?
Don't be redpilled. Be goldpilled. By that I mean instead of worrying about girls and extreme loneliness, use that time to build yourself. Study things that interest you, immerse yourself in knowledge and really think about what you wanna do in life.
I'm not one of those normies who thinks exercise and all that bs will fix everything, that can come later. The most important thing for people like us is to build our minds first. Loneliness can be a good thing when you are submersed in the studies of your choosing, you will not have the distraction of others.
I already do that and I don't feel the need to latch some retarded [x]pill-meme label onto myself
>>24576622
>Excellent advice.
I wanted Eggman to make this video, but thank you based Snoop-imitator.
>>24576650
Good for you then, pham. You are the spark that ignites the movement.
Being a mentally underdeveloped person and frequenting this board (and /pol/, as well) is extremely harmful to your mental development, and I'll tell you why.
A human being needs to be exposed to constantly differing perspectives on the world in order to properly shape their own, unique mindset and worldview. By isolating yourself with a single, unchanging thought, you effectively set the stage for your future self. Most of you malebots are around the age of 18, which is still young and underdeveloped (laws would lead you to believe that you're already a fully grown, mature person at this age, but that's nothing short of a lie), yet you think you're already set to be a wizard. You're not, but persist to follow the current path you're taking, and you will be.
Do yourself a favor and, at the very least, explore the rest of the internet, or even just 4chan. Your brain does not need a comfort zone regarding reality. What it needs is stimulation in order to grow into a healthy mind.
Don't kill yourselves, lads.
Who cares if my mind is healthy? Suicide or not, it's all the same.
>>24576632
You should care, because nothing is stopping you from achieving a healthy mind. You could very much be enjoying life rather than sulking in depression and suicide, because your entire mindset revolves around how unjust society and social constructs are.
Do you not want to enjoy life, Anon?
>>24576582
This one is right. At least explore other boards of 4chan and go to other websites. Read wikipedia.
Don't become autists.
Let's tell some stories, whether they're funny, sad, or whatever. It's therapeutic to get stuff off your chest. I'll begin.
>broke and near homeless
>beg on 4chan for someone to let me live with them
>this femanon responds, she says I can live with her for free just as long as I clean her house and take care of her dog (her only conditions)
>warn her that I'm really autistic and quiet
>she says it's fine
>move in with her
>everything's going good, got a nice comfy room, she buys lots of food and I get to eat as much as I can
>think she's a nice woman, we talk sometimes and she teases me a lot
>few days go by
>"why aren't we friends yet, anon? are you angry at me?"
>confused, I thought things were going well
>I hide in my room a lot (I'm a robot, so of course I do) but I still do all the chores and talk to her about her day when she gets back from work
>this goes on for weeks, she keeps asking why we're not friends yet
>one day she sees a couch on the sidewalk
>she wants me to bring it up into the house
>do it with a little help from her, carry it up the stairs, back is in complete pain because I have scoliosis
>she suddenly gets anxious that there are bedbugs
>spend two hours checking the whole thing for bedbugs, didn't find anything, and everything I've read online says bedbugs don't live in sofas
>she decides she doesn't want the sofa anymore and makes me take it back to the curb (which is like nearly a block away)
[continued]
>another day
>she brings this dude from work home and they have really loud sex
>okay whatever
>the dude left the bathroom open and the dog gets into the trashcan and eats her used tampons
>she starts freaking out, completely convinced the dog is gonna die
>it's suddenly my job to watch the dog 24/7 to see if it'll throw up so I can stop her from eating it back again
>dog looks like she's in absolute pain and I love her to death (she's the nicest dog in the world), hug her and try to counsel her all day
>finally four days later she pukes it up when I'm not looking
>femanon finds the puke and yells at me for not taking it from her
>literally been watching this dog for four days and it's impossible to keep an eye on anything for that long
>goes back to her asking why we're not friends yet
>don't even have any anger or spite towards her, literally doing nothing to offend her except being my own robot self
>been planning a trip to my aunt for a while
>she has known about this for a week or more
>30 minutes before I leave she tells me I need to pack up all my stuff and leave because we're not friends and we apparently won't ever be friends
>literally known her for like a month and she expects us to be besties
>actually thought she was a pretty good person and almost a near-friend before this, we shared lots of laughs and drinks together, never judged her, related a lot to her upbringing (we both had shitty parents, etc.)
>did everything she asked of me, warned her I was quiet before, literally did nothing wrong
>completely homeless at this point because she's a psycho bitch who kicked me out for no reason
>luckily my aunt paid for an apartment for a few months back in my home town or else I would've been living on the streets
Nobody has any stories?
>>24576775
Tired wagekek here man, I can't...
DONT LET THE FLAME DIE OUT
plankton.jpg
>interested in what kids today are learning
>google common core shit
>don't understand a single thing
Will our ways of thinking be obsolete soon? How the fuck does a first grader even do this problem?
>>24576567
What the fuck does it mean for a sum to be 'reasonable'? It's either right or wrong.
why the fuck is it so complicated
If you were going to estimate the value by rounding why the fuck would you round down 291?
Common core is written by retards trying to troll children and parents/teachers who wont be able to teach this to the kids without paying for a 1000$+ seminar.
I'm from Southern Mississippi and I want to move to Prague, New York, or Philadelphia.
Where are you from, and where do you want to move?
If you're from a place where other people want to move, why should/shouldn't they move there?
Philly here. Best to stay out. It sucks
I'm from Houston and I want to move to either Austin, San Francisco, Seattle, or Portland.
I probably sound like the biggest hipster right now and I am.
>>24576457
Why does it suck? I thought there were nice parts where you have less of a chance of getting shot by impoverished black people?
![commoncoremainphoto[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/NBgPAIT.jpg "commoncoremainphoto[1]")
![common-core-math-problem[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/EwzHAeF.jpg "common-core-math-problem[1]")
