Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 2280. page
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Just felt my bootyhole through my shorts and it's really warm and I feel hot and bothered. Does this mean I need a dicking?
>shits in a toilet
>at risk for hernia
>>28923807
No that means you're a mammal with warm blood
Just need to open your ass
is /fit/ eternally BTFO?
Yeah, pretty BTFO. I doubt there are many on this board who care about being /fit/.
okkk white boi
It's hilarious how they act like they don't lift for approval from women. Makes them look even more insecure.
I'm busy learning HMTL and CSS and JS. The plan is to try to get a job coding. My mission is to no longer be NEET.
What are you up to?
I'll keep myself company, then.
>>28923728
>javascript
>mozilla sjwfox
>GNOME
Get out. JS isn't a good language.
>>28924654
I don't want Google's corporate dick in me anymore than it already is, and GNOME's better than Cinnamon or Light. (I've yet to try MATE.)
For some reason I seem to grasp JS better than I do Python or Java, which is why I'm starting there. It's an okay beginner's language. I'd like to learn other languages eventually.
ITT: stories about awful parents
>wake up
>hungry
>"MOMMY ME WANT TENDIES NOOOOOWWWW"
>mommy doesn't answer
>"MOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYY"
>she comes rushing into my room
>"what's wrong did you have a bad dream!?"
>she wasn't listening when i said what i wanted
>can feel it building up inside of me
>remove diaper
>"POOPOO PEEPEE MOMMY THATS WHAT U GET'
>spray piss and liquid shit all over the bitch
>that's what she gets for not paying attention to her little boy
>"I WANT TENDIES I WANT TENDIES I WANT TENDIES"
>she leaves to for the bathroom to clean off
>i fall asleep for a nap
>wake up to steaming hot tendies by my bed
>can hear her sobbing downstairs
She's going to have to learn that a 26 year old man needs his protein one of these days.
Anyway, what about your parents? are they as awful as mine?
what the fuck is this board anymore
>>28923808
If you don't like it leave, bitchnigher normie.
>>28923808
what was it ever?
>29 year old patient comes into the surgery
>Has been having a lot of trouble sleeping lately
>Previously tried sleeping pills, but had bad side effects
>Wants me to give him some 5-HTP
>Give him a lethal dose of morphine instead
It's always weird when I see shipman posted, I always saw it as just a local thing
>>28923719
Isn't Shipman among the contenders for being the most prolific serial killer of all time?
Read that British statistics regarding death even have to take in the "Shipman effect" for it to be accurate
lol
learning about this guy in forensic physiology class
guy was a massive autist , luckily enough most autists aren't smart enough to become doctors
Everyone here talks about losing their virginity like it's the most important thing in the world.
Personally, I am more scared of my first kiss than my first sexual experience. It's not that hard to stick your dick in a vagina, but to kiss someone seems like a much more intimate and special thing to do. And it seems like everyone knows how to do this instictively without even thinking, and here I am searching "how to kiss" for the 10th time on google just in case if it happens.
I am afraid that, with me being 24 years old, I will never know how to kiss naturally without thinking about it, I read and thought about it so much that it became a manual procedure in my head with actual steps that I have to take. To be honest, if I never saw or heard of the term kissing I would never ever feel the need to interlock lips with an another human being ever.
So those of you that have kissed, please share your first kiss stories and your thoughts about it
You'll pick it up pretty easy, the girls gonna know it's your first time kissing though, if she's nice she will let you have lots of practice
>>28923638
It's like eating a a warm soft-serve icecream
If you are 24 and have never been kissed, what makes you think you will get kissed in the future?
>fat 4/10 girl that I ALMOST ended up dating finds a BF one week after things between us didn't work out
What is this bullshit
Why do women have it so easy?
Her BF is a solid 7/10 too and I'm like a 6/6.5 as well.
She was stringing you both along until one of you dropped off. Earlier there may have been 3, 4 or even 7 men in the picture.
>>28923654
That's a possibility. She did say she had multiple guys ask her out during our "almost dating" period.
>>28923622
They have a vagina and womb, this lets them be wanted by literally any guy, because it gives the guy the chance to actually have her fall in love with him and have sex/companionship, because he can't be on his own all the time. With the woman gaining freedom and specific rights, this gives her the primary choice of who they want to be with and can set their own standards and what not because they know they themselves will still be desired no matter what they look like.
It's rigged from the beginning. It's their game, we're just pawns to them.
I think my neighbor is some kind of occultist. I'm pretty sure he can read my mind.
He's been acting really strange lately and I've noticed some spooky shit happening in his room at night.
I think my neighbor might be possessed, what do i do /r9k/?
meme arrow the spooky shit
continue to spy lad.
good luck
>normies talking about relationships
>1 normie says eww when i bring up the fact that sex bots will be replacing women in the near future
>stacies get offended and immediately start attacking me
Get blown the fuck out of the social circle cause i was almost about to get beat up by some feminist women
walk away, i should of just shut my mouth right /r9k/??
Do most of you failed normies just not think before you speak?
>>28923537
Lol did this actually happen? You should probably go into more detail.
That was just kind of stupid, sex robots are a meme. They're not going to 'replace' women. If you can't get women you're not replacing anything you're just getting a fancy sex doll.
>tfw fetishes have become so specific that you have to caption your own images to have something to adeqautly jerk off to
>>28923386
care to give us a sample?
>>28923420
I discard them out of shame. Sigh
>>28923420
>>28923445
ok fine, women shitting
subject states the question.
have you robots ever had a sad boner?
What's a sad boner?
>>28923452
when you're so sad, you get a boner
they're quite elusive
>>28923349
just make a greentext instead you'll get more responses
>tfw everyone where i live knows im a 27 year old virgin loser NEET failure
anyone else know this feel? my only """""""friend"""""""" would make fun of it at bars and parties i was never invited to
chill out my senpai
move away and get a job
or move away and stay NEET somehow
no real chance of fixing your image with those people, stay off social media tool so they won't find you again
Nobody knows me so I guess I don't have this problem
Except for my immediate family but they don't seem to give a shit (unless they're upset with me so they can use it as ammunition).
Can someone please post that white knight copy pasta about "mfw I think of you hurting ;_;" will post porn per your request in exchange.
Nevermind found it. But here have some porn anyway
>>28923377
post it? i wanna see it famalam
>>28923544
I guess the mods won't let me because of the new muted rule
Was missing for a good hour or so, then wandered back into view. It was my fault, I left his cage open after feeding him.
Had a bit of an adventure in the flat, I imagine.
>>28923316
Is your rat's name Bert? If so that's prettycute
That's a cute dog you have OP.
I'm glad he is safe.
>>28923506
We ended up calling him that. Different people called him by different names before we got him.
He spent the majority of his his time in a 20 gallon fish tank before we adopted him. We bought him a big wire cage he can climb around in. He was depressed in the tank, but in the cage he started to feel better.
After about a week he became playful and would seek out our attention.
We let him run around in one room for at least an hour or so most days. He actually likes to play and loves to be tickled.
Don't keep rats in a fish tank, robots. They get sad.
>Niece graduated high school earlier this week
>Family get-together on Saturday
>Decide to go to try and improve myself
>Everyone's all happy and whatnot
>Can't gauge into conversations with Aunts, Uncles or Cousins as I have nothing to talk about other than shitty things happening at work
>Fall asleep from boredom
>30 minutes later sis wakes me up to get her 3DS out of the truck
>Get it out and hand it to her
>Stay in the truck for the next hour or so playing IA/VT
>Get to the staff credits
>Close the game up after saving and walk around the area for about half an hour
>Few of their neighbors looked at me before carrying on their own business
>Return back to their house
>They're barely starting to take pics of the niece with her family
>No one really noticed I was gone for the 2 hours
>Hour passes, everyone leaves
>Ma usually helps with clean up so we're last to leave
>Tell her about the disconnection on the ride home
>"There's really nothing to it. Just talk."
>Rest of the ride home was conversation with her usually go off on a tangent
How the hell do I do that with people I hardly ever see, or with anyone for that matter?
>>28923255
I don't know if this board is the right place to ask that. Try asking your family members about their lives. People love to feel important. Ask about their job, what it is, do they like it, bullshit like that.
>>28923255
This is actually difficult OP because small talk sucks. It starts out with the weather and can move in to other subjects like upcoming events, TV shows, video games, "The game", and just about anything else. I absolutely fucking hate small talk. It sucks so much damn dick, but you have to use it to talk about other things. Once you two connect on something you jump at it. Trust me, everybody fucking hates small talk.
Why would you want to talk to them? Normalfags do the stupidest shit.
