Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 2281. page
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Who /not robot/ here?
Pic related, is me
Who /4/10 yet attentionwhoring on the internet/ here?
Pic related, faggot OP
>>28923238
gr8 b8 m8 cant w8 2 c the h8 coming more soon than l8
>>28923238
Pretty ugly OP.
Have you considered facial reconfiguration with a sledgehammer/beltsander? It could make a modest improvement to your overall appearance.
>do a little wee wee
>press the big flush
>>28923183
>live in apartment building with shared facilities
>use kitchen
>leave crumbs next to stove
>>28923183
Wow you are a VERY bad boy! You're getting EVIL tendies for EVIL boys!
>running out of handwash
>wash hands twice
Found out my sister once tried to an hero.
Even though she has an awesome husband (I like him more than I do her) and a nice expensive car and a high paying job
Normies think they know pain
Normies doesn't know pain, that's why many, especially women, attempt to kill themselves after every small inconvenience in their life.
My mother killed herself, and I always wonder if she was really weak. Am I stronger than her for fighting the urge? Will I cave in one day? Am I strong?
>>28923490
It's a tough choice my dude
Do you really want to stop living? Or do you just want to stop feeling pain?
I believe you have to have to try your best to be happy. But sometimes you see no hope. Just make sure you try your best
Great food thread!
I figured some of you might be hungry so I will show super beautiful appetizing food to make you hungrier! Prepare yourselves.
Hmmmm how good it would be to have french toast and lemon soda right now? ? ? am i right?
Hmmmm fruits and macaroni super well cooked hmm well done
Brazilian know the best recipes. Numero uno as always
>get a new haircut
>think it's good, actually like the way i look in years
>confidence boost
>see chad next day
>"hey anon, did the razor break down? Hahaha! Hey stacy, come and see that fool"
>nearby normies hear this and start laughing too
REEEE FUUUCK YOU FUCK YOUFUCKYOUFUCKOYCFUCKYOUFUCKUOUFUCKYOUCFUCKYOUOFUCKYOU
honestly kill me at this point fampai
You probably look fine.
They're just being assholes.
>>28923160
Post a picture. You are probably average. Faggots just make fun of you because they feel bad about their own lives. Same reason robots make fun of people here.
Do people actually do this shit outside of middle school? Publicly make fun of you to your face? I never had that happen to me after I got past 15 years old (banter aside, of course).
So we're all robots here, lets have a nice chat thread. Talk about what's up with ya or leave a kik for one on one discussion
Add R_Place on kik if you wanna, fembots and traps preferred tho
>>28923123
Not gonna join, I will bump your thread however.
>>28923248
HAHA, SEE THIS FAGGOTS. I AM WILLINGLY BUMPING CANCER!!!
It is everyones favorite film about a syrup addicted bear.
That is right, it is Winnie the Poo and his cousin Piglet from the hit family film that is called "Winnie the Poo and the Chamber of Syrup".
If you haven't seen Winnie the Poo and the Chamber of Syrup before, then you might as well just be blind, or deaf, or both, because you are missing out on an action packed adventure that will haunt you for the rest of your life.
And my best bit in the whole of the film is when Winnie the Poo is standing outside of his college in his red colored crop top with his traditional no trousers on.
And he is making loads of people laugh by sucking syrup off the top of a teacher's car, and then gargling with it to the theme tune of MTV's Sweet Sixteen.
And all of his friends were saying that it was so funny, and his friend Ross even said that it was probably one of the best things that he has seen in about half a year.
And then Tigger, who is the main idiot at the college, was going around telling everyone that he is going to punch Winnie the Poo in the back of his head after college when he is not looking, because he hates him so much.
But it was so obvious that he is just jealous of Winnie the Poo for getting all of the attention from everyone.
And then after college, Tigger goes to punch him, but Winnie the Poo senses his presence and he instantly turns around and slices Tigger's spine with a bit of plastic that he found next to a fence.
And then, Winnie the Poo goes on top of Tigger on the ground and he does a massive screaming laugh right in Tigger's face that sounded like a train full of bees smashing into a school.
And then, before Tigger could even say "Why can't I move my legs?", Winnie the Poo had completely vanished.
And then, when it was at night time, Winnie the Poo goes over to Piglet's house, and he says for Piglet to give him all of the syrup that he has got.
And Piglet says "You can't have it because my wife is pregnant, and it is all that she can eat right now".
And Winnie the Poo says "Pregnant shmegnant, I don't give a flying hell if she is pregnant or if she is just fat, I just want to have all of your delicious golden bee juice inside of myself".
And then he slowly walks over to Piglet, and he kisses him on his forehead, and he says "My sweet cousin" in a really light voice.
And then he looks at him for about 5 seconds, and he does a half smile.
And then he slaps him right across his face, and he bends forward, and he licks Piglet's face where he was just slapped, and he says "Give me your bee syrup now, you salmon colored dwarf".
And Piglet says "You need help mate! You have got a serious syrup problem".
And Winnie the Poo says "Shut up, no I do not".
And Piglet says "Eh, you do realize the reason everyone calls you Winnie the Poo is because you actually stink of poo, because you never wash, because all that you do is drink bee syrup all day. And Tigger said he actually saw you eating your own poo out of a napkin in the college car park as well".
And then, Winnie the Poo just grabs the jar of syrup out of Piglet's pale pink palms, and he runs out of the house.
And as he is running away, he screams "JUMANJIIII".
And then, right at the end of the film, there is a shot of Winnie the Poo sitting in the woods looking at a photograph of him and Christopher Robin in Italy next to the Eiffel Tower.
And then the camera goes really close up on Winnie the Poo's face, and he starts laughing, and loads of bees fly out of his mouth, and it lasts for about 5 minutes.
And then, the screen just goes completely black, and writing comes up that says "Winnie the Poo hasn't been seen for nearly 2 and a half years".
And then, a lightning bolt goes across the screen, and it smashes the writing up into loads of little pieces, and the film just ends really suddenly.
It really is one of the most action packed films that has ever been made about syrup.
And if you have children of your very own, or if you can find a child just for a day, then you should definitely have a watch of it with them when it is the summer holidays.
Because trust me, you will not regret it, not even a slice.
You happy OP? Get that out of your system?
Go back to your room and don't bother anyone else for the rest of the morning.
>tfw no flabby belly gf
IKTFMFAAMFAA
>>28923174
such belly
These fatsos are the scum of the earth, we should genocide them first.
Would you spare a fellow robot if he yelled out a meme during your glory?
>>28922869
NONE SHALL BE SPARED
>>28922869
NoHe'd want to die anyway
For the longest time I've actually wondered what the right thing to do would be in a disaster scenario like this.
I've seriously contemplated the idea that I make some sort of /r9k/ signal or code to a mass-shooter if I'm ever unfortunate enough to be in the presence of such an event. I don't think it's likely that it would get me spared but I think that there's actually a much greater than 0% chance of it being beneficial to my survival.
Can you imagine?
>shooting happens
>you throw your hands up and yell "REEEE GO FOR ROASTIES NOT ME MAN IM NO CHAD"
>shooter looks at you, laughs, tells you to get the fuck out of there
>you leave
>media somehow finds out that you survived because of some interaction with the shooter
How would you even begin to explain this?
anybody else notice that tripfags are using this place as their own personal hangout?
who else thinks tripfags should kill themselves like the attention whoring normies that they are?
>>28922835
/r9k/ is LITERALLY a containment board along with /trash/ albeit /trash/ is a lot worse, I doubt /r9k/ even has moderators honestly.
>>28922862
Hiro lurks here...
>>28922884
I really doubt it anon.
Good evening /r9k/.
Broke up with my gf tonight. Feels bad man.
>inb4 reeeee he had a gf reeeeee get out!!11!!1
>>28922764
YOU broke up with her you stupid shit, you don't have the right to come and complain here you worthless cucktard.
You had it all...
reeeee he had a gf reeeeee get out!!11!!1
>>28922764
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TR3Vdo5etCQ
Have a song OP. Wish I had a gf. Hope I meet one in college.
Guys, a grill just messaged me FIRST on tinder saying "Hey". I replied with "sup, how are you?" which she responded to with "I'm fine and you?"
I don't want this to become boring ass smalltalk with the same standard questions.
What do I say to get an actual conversation going?
She has no profile text and only boring selfies, so I can't comment on something about her profile.
>no text
>boring selfies
She wants the D. Just get right in and say to her "Let's fuck haha" this message will guarentee you success and I would know because I've used it many times.
In the time you've spent making this post literally hundreds of other guys have matched her and are have sent her far more interesting messages than yours. You stand no chance. The game is rigged.
>>28922770
She's 15, so I kind of doubt she's THAT slutty.Yes, I made myself aged 17 to get that prime teen pussay even though I'm actually 20
IT'S ALRIGHT TO TELL ME
WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT ME
This is now a trap thread :3
Post the last trap you fapped too !!!
>>28922748
I WON'T TRY TO ARGUE
I've noticed that any threads or comments which violate the groupthink of the echo chamber in r9k get completely ignored. Is this intentional, or is it simply a result of robots literally not seeing anything which contradicts their worldview? The reason this is important is, if it's intentional, then robots are just neurotic. On the other hand, if they literally can't perceive anything which contradicts their pre-existing prejudices, then they are actually psychotic and are incapable of change, since they exist in a delusional world in which only things which confirm their mistaken beliefs are perceived.
I guess whether or not this thread gets any responses will be a good way to find out one way or the other. If robots are delusional, they won't even see this thread. It'll be effectively invisible.
For me it's usually intentional. But there's probably plenty of psychotics on this board too for whom it's not
>>28922631
well you notice it. and so do I
so that does not make all of this board terrible
>>28922663
The problem is, if you're psychotic you won't know that you're psychotic, by definition. You won't even perceive the things which are being filtered out. Frogs, for example, have very simple brains. They can't process all of the visual stimulus their eyes are giving them, so their brains edit out any movement which is not erratic: large erratic objects are predators to be avoided, and small erratic objects are prey to be eaten. But snakes move with smooth, regular motions, and so they are literally invisible to frogs -- which is why snakes are such efficient predators of frogs.
How does one go about getting a Charlie XCX gf?
>wanting a slag for a gf
Why
>>28922604
So that basically counts out the whole of the UK?
I think I'm in love..
Originall
![1464415454437[3].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/Ns6pcVC.jpg "1464415454437[3]")
