Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 5403. page
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>What do you mean you want me to be your gf?
>I thought we were just friends?
>pale redheads
hngghhh
>>26392320
We're not friends, you're just using me to give you free rides and do your homework.
>>26392320
>"y-you like me?"
*blushes*
>"WWHAT?!"
>"Y-YOU WANT TO HAVE SEX??!"
>"B-but I'll get pregnant I know it!"
>"o-ok C-chad, if you say so."
*spreads legs*
>be me
>27, kissless virgin
>have a 20 year old sister
>she almost never leaves the house, likes anime and we play vidya together when I'm not working
>she makes me feel like my life is not as shitty as it is because I feel like she needs me
>tfw she got a neet boyfriend
>tfw I feel cheated on
>tfw I feel like I can't protect her from the outside world anymore
>tfw I feel like shit for not being happy for her
>tfw no gf like my sister
I think I'm killing myself whenever she loses her virginity to him.
>>26392212
Set me up with your sister bruh?
you could fuck her
or at least try
what you got to lose?
>>26392212
>You will never have a neet sister
>You will never play games and watch anime with your neet sister
>You will neverbe transported to a magical world where everything is decided via games and gambling and conquer it eventually challenging god himself with your neet sister
I don't want to change my lifestyle at all but I wish I could have a platonic relationship with someone who I could share it with. A family-member would be beyond ideal.
Fuck you OP for making me feel these feels.
Fembots, why don't you look more like her?
>>26392148
I don't care if thread gets posted everyday, I'm gonna join it because fuck yeah high test
>>26392148
Can someone explain to me what high test is? Does it imply that liking thick bitches means you have a high testosterone level?
>you will never impregnate her
>tfw no anime sister to call me a baka onii-chan while I dick her in the butt
I honestly don't even care anymore. I'm mentally, socially, and sexually retarded. I'm never going to be normal and have a job and a loving gf. Why even bother. I'll just watch some more shitty anime and masturbate myself to death. Who else?
Replace "anime" with "disney movies" and yes
I've got a Kirino body pillow and a Kuroneko one.
>>26392140
Her name was Kuroniko, dumbass.
Anything after this is not Pokemon
>>26392068
Emerald>R/S tbqh senpai
Does anyone here play PokeMMO? It's p fun
>>26392068
Take it to >>>/vp/ Hoennbabby
is anyone actually fucked from birth?
now listen, you can be genetically ugly, but is anyone that bad? not including actual physical deformities and height, if you think of what makes a person ugly, a lot of it is from things you do for yourself. for example, bad skin, overweight, and unhygienic people are typically considered ugly. but you can take a guy (or girl) with a big nose and generally ugly features and they can be at least a 5 if they take care of themselves. there is no excuse for being less than a 5/10.
>>26392043
My face is asymmetrical as fuck, my jaw is chizzled but my chin isn't, I have a bigg(ish) noes and my dick curves at a 40* angle so I'm still not even sure if it's structurally possible for me to have sex. I was born cursed and alone. Fuck this world
Auts
I mean if you're the fucking elephant man or something, but most people are at least somewhat salvageable
Reminder that you should listen to emo if you're a real robot
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=urtdIeWqC9E
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3gnoN_Pvm8
http://www.plyrics.com/lyrics/hotelier/anintroductiontothealbum.html
Listen while reading.
I want more people to see this thread so I'm bumping it
Last try before I give up
When did you realize you were a robot?
Were you always a social outcast or did you go through a blissful period without realizing?
>>26391941
Since reggaeton became a thing.
>Be 10
>Teacher wants us to fill out a worksheet that shows our favorite things
>Get to "Favorite Sports Team"
>Realize I don't know the name of any sports team
>Raise hand and ask if I can write my favorite video game instead
>Realize other kids are laughing
>Enter into robothood
I used to be a happy kid but looking back, all the signs were there. I was a latch-key kid, so I came home to an empty house, but I would pretend that I was a dog. So I'd get naked and run around on all fours, sniffing at things and rolling around on the blankets. My dad came home and caught me one day... I never did it again and we never spoke of it, but I somehow knew he was ashamed of me.
>lets go clubbing anon
why do normies like clubbing so much?
What would you rather be doing with friends?
The best place to act a damn fool is out clubbing.
I know yo cant or dont want to. But it is quite cathartic.
Get drunk and not worry about school/work for a few hours.
>>26392277
>>26392326
This senpai
It's actually a great environment for an introverted person to branch out of their comfort zone a little bit. Just got hammered and walk around, you might meet some grills and have a good time.
>I'm sorry anon I don't do blowjobs/anal/[insert sex act] anymore. That's my past now, I was exploring my limits and trying to find myself, but I'm different now. Thanks for being so understanding :)
>>26391865
Do women actually say this?
>>26391889
yes, i talked to a fembot who had previously been tied up and all kinds of other weird shit by chad and now is only into that gay ass femdom shit
>>26391889
No
>hey anon I really want to start shoving dildos up your ass
Is what happened to me.
>that childhood friend who moved across the country
>you will never see them again
His name was Jacob. Never remembered his last name so I couldn't contact him through myspace. The last time we spoke we had a fight too.
I miss you Jacob, you were the only one who ever liked me.
>tfw you contact them and they barely remember you
>>26391832
>implying I had a childhood friend
:(
Did any robot here get expelled/suspended from school? Share your stories. Here is mine
>be me, 15 so 4yrs ago
>had insane anger issues (still do)
>hated this one fat kid
>mocked him relentlessly and humiliated him in public
>this continues for 3monts
>he reports me to the school and they arrange a meeting with me him and his parents
>he cries and says that I beat him physically which is bullshit
>school believes him
>call him a retarded liar and tell his father that he raised a pussy faggot
>school bans me for a year
>come back on my first day a year later
>see him, fatter than before
>friend tells me he is now 'scene' , listens to bvb and linkin park and cuts himself
>kek
>tap him on the shoulder and punch him in the face
>get permanently expelled
Never saw him again, but someone who still knows him told me he now weighs 290lbs
>>26391771
Really nice stuff, I used to regularly beat this Aspurgers kid who had a big mouth I got expelled from school at 15 on purpose.
>be me
>15, tired of school year is almost over figure fuck it I'm going to get expelled.
> try a bunch of shit, smoking, fighting, skipping school.
> doesn't work get put in special class away from my mates
> realise I need something big to do the job
> timetomanup.jpeg
> sitting in social studies
>get up walk across the room and ask my friend blatantly to borrow a lighter
>pull out cig and light it
>teacher loses his shit starts yelling at me to get out
>nahimalright.jpeg
> ashing on the floor start singing white supremacist anthems
Got everyone out of social studies that day because the teacher walked out after he left I did and that was it
Oh yeah and I came on the chessboard in the library and got caught on camera
>>26391771
Was there a particular reason why you hated him, or was it just illogical hatred stemming from what you said were 'insane anger issues?'
I only got suspended once
>be high school stoner
>be with childhood friend and other friend
>getting high as shit in my car
>go to school
>other friend asks to leave weed in car, its chill
>everything's fine
>intercom says stay in your classrooms, this is drug dog sign
>chilling in class, get called to the office
>principal and police start asking me questions, deny everything
>after 20 minutes of lying my ass off and defending other friend they tell me other friend told them I sold them weed
>suspended for ten days
Fucking narcs.
>If a woman stays in a childlike state of mind, she's a "manic pixie girl" and it's cute
> If a man stays in a childlike state of mind he's a "manchildren" and he should be ashamed.
Why is this allowed?
manic pixie girls aren't respected in the real world. shift your eyes away from your anime programs for a little while, you'll see.
>>26391747
>he's a "manchildren"
>>26391793
>implying
women of all personality types get away with murder (LITERALLY in some cases)
I am getting feelings for a girl who has a boyfriend
Convince me otherwise
Cut it off op
Dont pay attention
Better than falling for a lesbian.
>>26391609
You don't have a chance.
Stop before you get hurt.
Good day cucks, today is the start of good ole' lent.
Hope you children of GOD have already went to morning mass.
Oh hmmm wait, I forgot you have jobs...hmmph oh well, I guess that 11$/hr is worth everlasting damnation in h*ll
Ta ta~
>>26391550
Jobcentre has me working at their office tomorrow, went for "tour" there today with some guy who is clearly more of a robot than i am.
I'm really looking forward to 'working' with him desu senpai
>>26391610
As long as you have GOD in your mind you will always be successful future wagecuck. But don't forget to visit his house EVERY week to pay homage
after a year of being neet, will my applications be trashed when they see the gap? I'm only looking to apply to entry-level wageslave jobs that basically have no requirements.
if I get an interview and they ask about the gap, should I tell them I've kept busy maintaining our property or will I look like an even bigger manchild?
